Achernar is from The Pandora Principle. The basic friendship with Saavik and Valeris is Vonda McIntrye. The reference to Saavik quoting "Keep your friends close" is in Divergence by Khiori (you'll find it under my account too). I got this story as a very rough first draft (also Khiori); the rest is mine.

Remember this is an alternative to my Race of Cain; they do not fit together.


Lieutenant Commander Saavik resisted the human practice to count to ten. After all, ten was nowhere near the number she required, so counting to it would merely be an exercise in illogic.

Down the aisle of chairs in the passengers' lounge, Ambassador Sarek's low baritone continued. "-accomplishments are noteworthy. To achieve such distinction before your fellow classmates is an honor. Your mentor must be well pleased."

She didn't have to see Valeris' face to know that the dark eyes flicked slyly backward to see if she had heard. Saavik's jaw tightened.

Beside her in the transport, Amanda gently laid a hand on her uniform sleeve. "She is young."

Saavik nearly apologized having been caught. If it had been anyone else besides this woman – or him – she would have out of propriety. It was unnecessary here.

"And you have not been yourself since we left Vulcan." Amanda's eyes were soft in the dimmed light. "In my experience," she continued carefully, "sentient beings possess more than one way to protect themselves. Emotions can be shields as much as they can be weapons."

Saavik didn't know how to answer that. "Forgive me for disrupting your reading, T'Sai," using the Vulcan title that meant Lady and so much more.

Amanda's mouth twitched. "You have not been a disruption for some time." Saavik lifted her gaze to find the familiar mischievous glint in the other's "And even then, it was quite entertaining."

Saavik's eyebrow shot up. "You have an unsettling view of entertainment. I very nearly caused a diplomatic incident."

The glint became more pronounced. "And instead you have the Klingons praising you."

"Not necessarily a comfortable predicament."

As Amanda chuckled, Saavik's eyes found Valeris again. The cadet was practically preening under the ambassador's approval. She sighed, chiding herself for uncomplimentary thoughts towards the girl. "I am a poor friend."

Amanda frowned and slowly shook her elegant silvered head. "No," she said, her own eyes studying the younger Vulcan, "if anything, you error more the opposite." She frowned. "I do not trust that one. No matter what my son says."

Saavik quickly turned her face to the stars.

Amanda's mouth tightened and she fingered the antique binding of the book in her lap. "Now it is my turn to ask forgiveness."

Saavik found she clenched the chair arms, an appalling lack of control. She turned dark eyes to Amanda. "He is your son," she said softly.

"Saavik-" Carefully manicured fingers hovered just over her knee.

"I will not discuss it," said Saavik firmly.

Amanda pulled back, looking away, and Saavik knew a reprieve and pain that her choice stood. But I would be a fool to mistake compliance with agreement. She felt inexorably tired. I should never have come.

And her refusing to talk about it had hurt Amanda. "You would," she said quietly, "regret the knowledge."

Amanda reached out again, this time to actually catch Saavik's chin and lift it, requiring her eyes to follow. The look in the blue eyes made her breath catch. "How could I," Amanda asked gently, "when I regret nothing else of you?"

But Saavik insistently protested. "If you knew me better-"

The human's fingers gripped hard, forcing her to stop. "I would only declare it more firmly." At Saavik's open disbelief, Amanda released her chin with a sigh and leaned wearily back in her chair. Saavik realized with a shock that the human looked... old somehow. "Saavik, you have lived with us since my son's fal-tor-pan. Does that not say enough?"

Saavik's eyes watched Valeris. "I do not mistake kindness for approval."

"You should," Amanda said reprovingly. "They are the same here."

Saavik abruptly turned her face to the viewport as all thoughts of Valeris vanished against the return of memory.

I will not discuss this.

Amanda withdrew, allowing the choice she had so vehemently and finally so pleadingly argued against in the privacy of the estate's curving walls, and Saavik gave silent thanks. Ambassador Sarek was not the only diplomat in the family.

It does not, however, absolve anything. Of which we are both all too entirely aware.

Sarek's voice filled their silence. "-you will have your choice of assignment. Have you given meditation upon the possibilities?"

The dark eyes flicked back again and this time Saavik met them with her own. "Yes, Ambassador," Valeris said smoothly, "and my preference is ship duty."

Saavik's eyes narrowed. Valeris, true to her training, kept her triumph masked.

"Although," she said, drawing Sarek's gaze to Saavik, "I have been vigorously discouraged from it."

Sarek's eyebrows rose.

Damn.

Amanda's mouth started to turn down and then abruptly altered midcourse, smoothing into the flawless smile that Saavik had come firmly to believe as dangerous as any Romulan's. She stood gracefully, and, for an instant, T'Sai Amanda, wife of Sarek of Vulcan, looked down at Saavik. Her deep sapphire travelling robes and family house stones gave her already elegant air a sudden sense of latent power and reminded the onlooker that T'Pau had made her part of the female line. Very deliberately, she extended two fingers in the traditional Vulcan expression. Sarek hesitated an instant, his dark eyes carefully probing her blue ones, and Saavik brightened.

She remembered seeing that same Amanda-wary look once before on Sp-.

She sobered her back to grimness.

Sarek came softly down the aisle, his ambassadorial robes swaying barely with his motion, and touched his fingers lightly against his wife's. Her smile widened, showing perfect teeth. "My husband, it is quite late and I-" her eyes went past his broad shoulders and found Valeris, "-find myself quite human. Would you excuse me?"

Sarek almost blinked at his apparently easy escape and then inclined his head cautiously. He studied her face and then shifted slowly to Valeris before returning. "Of course, my wife."

Saavik saw her salvation and started to rise. "T'Sai, you will require an escort."

A movement of Amanda's hand halted her. "My husband, would you be so kind as to accompany me? There are matters to attend to before we arrive." Her eyes caught Valeris again. "And I am sure Lieutenant Commander Saavik can attend the child."

Valeris stiffened, her eyes becoming unreadably black.

This time, Saavik showed a sudden glint of respect in her eyes as Amanda passed, and barely managed not to shake her head.

If I will not discuss the one, apparently, I will be made to attend the other. Saavik bowed her head to Amanda's back, accepting the required exchange as she had to.

It was, after all, the proverbial lesser of two evils.

Saavik turned back to Valeris and found the smooth chin rising in icy disdain. The doors irised shut and a brittle silence filled the air between them.

She questioned if it was too late to start counting. "Would you care for a tour of the ship, Cadet? It is the latest in Vulcan design meant especially for diplomatic missions. Capable of great speed and with full defensive capability."

Valeris didn't respond and very deliberately, she turned her back.

That was a wrong move. Whatever she may or may not allow personally, Saavik refused to allow any cadet to treat a superior officer in this way. Ask questions, yes, point out what may be a deadly issue, yes. To disdainfully dismiss all around out of a sense of superiority, no. Valeris would get crewmen killed if she continued like this.

She had turned and made the deadly mistake of confusing Saavik's pause with weakness in disciplines. Her mouth held a smugly contemptuous line.

Very slowly, Saavik slipped forward like an ominous wraith until she leaned over that fading, scornful expression.

The younger woman's face became suddenly bloodless and her dark eyes were wide enough that Saavik could see her image reflected in their blackness. "Judge everyone as beneath you and you will not serve in Starfleet."

Valeris backed up. Saavik first thought she had understood the lesson. "I repeat my previous assessment of your character."

Of course. Naturally she proved incapable of it.

"Undeniably," Valeris said, feigning being gracious under dark eyelashes. "Lapses in control are to be expected from so... disadvantaged... a heritage."

Saavik made a mental note to warn the ship's doctor of the child's recuperation speeds.

"A disadvantage no doubt enhanced by such constant exposure," Valeris looked disdainfully at the closed door Amanda had gone through, "to humans."

Saavik's eyes flashed, and she moved so fast that Valeris inhaled sharply in shock as the cadet suddenly found them boot to boot. "You may disparage me and escape, but T'Sai Amanda will command your respect."

Valeris chewed on that and finally argued, "She is human. Surely, the title cannot apply to her."

"The title very much applies to her and you will pay the honor due to her as a Lady of Vulcan. Do you understand me, Cadet?"

Valeris actually flushed. "I understand, Lieutenant Commander."

Saavik leaned close enough that her words were no more than a harsh breath on Valeris' skin. "See that you do."

Valeris abruptly spun away on her heel. She began to gather the ambassador's padds, her motions tight. The silence between them grew heavy and ugly until she turned back, her black eyes piercing. "He approves of me."

Saavik took a calming breath and sat down. "So you continually remind me."

Valeris' eyes instantly sharpened. "I merely acknowledge the truth."

Saavik said nothing and Valeris tilted her head, eyeing the older woman until a crafty eyebrow slowly arched upwards. "I see."

"Do you or do you not wish a tour of the ship?"

"I threaten you."

"On the contrary, you offend me."

"Because I succeed you."

She is young. All the tension slid away and Saavik relaxed, leaning back in the seat. "I withdraw my previous statement. You entertain me." She crossed her legs casually at the ankles and draped her arms on the rests. "Explain the logic that led to this conclusion."

"You are mocking me."

"Of my options, it was the least... painful... response."

"Now you are threatening me."

"That was earlier. I am merely stating a fact."

"He would not approve of your facts."

"As you have stated he continues not to remember me, he will neither approve or disapprove." Valeris' eyes couldn't hold up under her own making Saavik's turn sharp. "Valeris, you swore to tell me if Spock's memories of me returned. Have they done so?"

Valeris gave a verbal shrug. "He has said nothing. Although I begin to notice a… reaction when your name is said."

Saavik looked away.

"I see," said Valeris, her black eyes absorbing and tilted her head in mock thoughtfulness. "Your reaction does shed some understanding on his response."

Saavik went still. "What response?"

"When I informed him of your coming arrival, he seemed... most unsettled. It was quite disconcerting." She watched Saavik's face tighten. "Was there some... incident between you?"

Unbidden, Genesis rose once more. I know what he thinks of it now. Saavik felt cold with the actual realization of her haunted dreams every night since Genesis, now plaguing her with each hour that brought her closer to Spock.

I am not ready for him.

She would not show that to Valeris; there had been a time of deep trust when she would. Now, in fact, the other's smugness under the surface made her question if this was the first time Spock had thought of her.

"It was not my intention to cause difficulty," said Valeris calmly, but her conceit rippled off her like a scent. "Are you capable of maintaining control of it? You are only half-Vulcan with a violent strain."

Saavik leaned her head back and looked down her nose. "As you are so fond of reminding me. I concede my biology."

"An excuse for failure."

Saavik considered it thoughtfully. "No, never an excuse. Have I erred at times? Yes. Due to that biology? Possibly." Because she would not admit that to Valeris either.

"And this does not trouble you?"

"Always." She eyed Valeris with interest. "Although not, obviously, as much as it troubles you."

Valeris sniffed, looking away. "You overestimate your importance to me."

"But not my use."

Valeris' head snapped back around instantly and Saavik nodded, long standing suspicions confirmed. "You still require me."

"I require nothing from you!" Valeris spat.

"My place."

Valeris went pale.

Saavik cocked her head in wry humor. "'Keep your friends close-'"

Valeris finished the quote. "'-and your enemies closer.'" The black hair caught at the corner of her mouth and she brushed it away. "We discussed this at the Academy."

"One of the times when I came to visit you and aided you in your troubles. You asked me if I had chosen which you were, friend or enemy?" Very quietly. "Do you remember my response?"

Valeris slowly dipped her head. "You stated, 'How can I? You have not yet chosen which you are.'"

Saavik rose and it made the other woman looked up. More than that, that chin came up again. "Do you remember what came next?"

"I asked you, 'And when I do?'" asked Valeris intently. Saavik nodded for the rest. "You replied, "'I will be ready.'"

"And here we are."

Valeris licked her lips. "What will you do?"

She still does not understand. Saavik watched the streaks of light out the portal behind the other Vulcan, feeling a creeping fatigue steal at her. "It remains not my decision."

Valeris' superior expression returned. "Then show me the ship."