"And we're here with the Wayne family. Now, you are a family of great repute. Magazines and news sites report on every aspect of your lives. But I'm wondering," the news anchor smiles, eyes wide in curiosity, "how would you describe yourselves?"

The Wanye family share a look with each other. Dick Grayson, the oldest, clears his throat.

"We're a very understanding family."

[ cue to Cassandra atop Tim squishing his cheeks together, "Get it out of your mouth! Out of your mouth!" she screams.

There's glass smashing in the background.

"Oh my god," a voice off-camera, "Jason, grab her, grab her-"

Cassandra's body is lifted off of Tim, but she still holds onto his cheeks with her claw-like hands. Tim is choking over the stolen brownie in his mouth. Dick drags Tim away by his ankles. "GET IT OUT!" ]

"Rather sensitive, on the whole."

[ a travel shot of Jason taking a flying kick to land straight on Dick's chest.

"VIVE LA PEMBERLEY, BITCH" ]

"We support growing businesses."

[ shot of Stephanie dancing atop the dining room table, shimmying in ugg boots. "I'm quitting to be a stripeeeerrr!"

A chorus of "whoo!" and "slay queeeen!" echoes in the background. Hundred dollar bills flash in front of the screen. ]

"Overall, we practice patience and tolerance toward all."

[ "I'll see you in hell, Dimitri!" Damian seethes, being dragged away by large hands. "I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" Several of the older kids send looks to each other, not noticing Dimitri the real estate broker's pained face.

"WATCH WHERE YOU REST YOUR HEAD, ASSHOLE."

"He's fine," Barbara assures the man.

"I'LL WASH MY HANDS WITH YOUR BLOOD!" ]

The news anchor smiles. "Wonderfully put. Now, there are rumors of a reality show documentary your everyday life. Can you shed truth on the matter?"

The Wayne family laugh, all white teeth and glossy hair. "Oh," Dick sighs, amused, "If only we could. We're just as boring here as we are at home."

[ A booming voice is heard from the next room, shouting, "I swear to GOD, if you touch my dinner I WILL BURY YOU IN THE BACKYARD!" ]

"Just a regular family."

-o-

"If that's your idea of a regular family, Dickie-bird, you must of been high." Jason says

"Quiet Todd, you were part of the reason why we are so "normal", we probably ruined the Wayne family name." Damian spats

"Hey you were part of it too, Gremlin. I WILL WASH MY HANDS WITH YOUR BLOOD!" Tim says, trying to hold back his laughter

"You started it, Drake."

"Guys shut up, Bruce will be here soon and we are not his favorite people right now." Dick says

-o-

Any ideas for the future? Did you like the first chapter?