I sighed and looked down, fighting back the wave of fresh tears that threatened all so harshly to spill. Belle stood in front of me, tears already sliding down her cheeks in silent cries. She didn't bother wiping them away though; what was the point anymore? I wanted comfort, reassurance, some sign that she wasn't giving up on me just yet. But I knew it wouldn't come; this fight had been my fault, brought on by my lack of trust. Why couldn't I be happy? Why couldn't I ever leave well enough alone?

"Belle, I..." I somehow managed. But even I winced at my sad attempt.

"Don't, just...don't, Elsa," Belle whispers, her voice so strained and full of pain it broke my heart to hear. What was I doing to her?

I watched without argue as she stepped back, turning from me. She didn't even glance back as she left the room, heading for the stairs. I listened quietly to her receding footsteps up, every single step a stab to my already aching heart. Why was I always hurting her? Couldn't I do anything right? I had to swallow back my self-pity as she disappeared. Biting my lip until I tasted the coppery crimson substance was the only way I could silently abuse myself right now.

I still couldn't believe I'd let myself even consider Belle cheating on me. She loved me, as I loved her, and I knew she was the loyalest person I'd ever know. No, she'd never hurt me like that; she'd never hurt anyone like that. We'd been together nearly two years now, the one person that knew more about me than even my parents. I'd let her in unlike everyone else; she knew about my mistakes, the troubled past I'd lived. She'd been the one person I'd given myself to fully, knowing she loved me for who I was, not out of pity. And yet here I was, breaking her.

With a sad sigh I stood, making up my mind. I needed to apologize. Slowly I trudged to the stairwell, forcing my lead-like legs to cooperate and move upward. Each of the steps creaked beneath my feet, damning me. I cursed my own self at being so loud, knowing full well tonight my wrists would once more see the sharp edge of blade. It wasn't a habit I was proud of, and Belle had nearly cured me of it, but sometimes the only thing that felt right was watching the drops of red glistening, feeling the sting of injured flesh.

The door to our room was only the second down, and once I stood before it I hesitated before reaching out and grasping the doorknob. The metal was cool beneath my fingers, a feeling I found somewhat ironic. The cold never bothered me, but Belle hated it. From inside I could hear faint sobs and muffled cries. My heart lurched, hanging together by some miraculous tendrils. I'd hurt her so badly with my accusations; I couldn't take them back now. Holding my breath, I slowly pushed open the door, pausing after just a brief moment in case Belle would throw something or shout for me to go away. Neither happened, so carefully I pushed open the door a bit more and slipped inside.

"Belle?...Look, I know you probably don't want to see me...But can we please talk sweetheart?" I asked, my voice barely reaching above a sad whisper.

Belle looked up from the pillow she'd been sobbing into, and a few of the remaining tendrils of my heart snapped. Pain-filled, red-rimmed, watery brown eyes met mine, silently pleading. For what I couldn't understand; I had to look away to keep myself together. She willed herself up into a sitting position, bringing her knees up and hugging them tightly.

"I-I never chea-eated," she cried quietly, sending a new wave of guilt coursing through me. How could I have been such a fool?

"Belle...honey I know that now. God...I was such an idiot...I'm so sorry, I'm such a fool," I cried, losing it at last.

I broke down with a heavy sob that ripped up my chest, falling to my knees and hugging myself. I was honestly surprised at my own self; my motto had always been conceal, don't feel. I realized I hadn't cried like this in years. To my utter shock Belle immediately jumped from the bed, walked to my side and kneeled, and hugged me. She ran one hand up and down my back soothingly, the other wiping at tears.

"Shh, it's okay, Elsa. I forgive you honey, I do. It's okay," she assured me, trying so hard to sooth me.

I turned and toppled into her, sending us both crashing down onto the carpeted floor. She gasped at the suddenness of it, but immediately held me and went back to whispering softly. I clung to her small frame desperately, sobbing against her shoulder pitifully. God, tonight would be filled with cuts. I barely heard her reassurances, my mind still focusing on what a fool I'd been. It had hurt us both. For all I knew she was covering her hated for me with these actions just so it'd hurt me worse later. That brought another crying fit. What am I up to, four cuts now? She truly didn't seem to mind holding me, but I eventually ended my tight embrace, pulling back. We both sat up, but I was so guilt consumed still that I had to look from her.

"What is it?" she asked, honest concern in her voice.

"I...I don't deserve you, Belle. You're sweet and understanding and just...amazing. And I'm fucked up! I always have been. It's... the reason no one's ever been stupid enough to stay with me," I cried.

My heart ached to the point of physical pain as I looked away. I was a coward. Though I said the words I didn't want to believe them. No one had any clue how badly they really hurt. Suddenly Belle's arms were around me once again, pulling me closer to her warm body. Her loving embrace was welcomed.

"Don't you dare say that, Elsa! You're not fucked up, you're so, so amazing. And if I'm stupid staying with you then I'll be happy being labeled the biggest fool on the planet." Though her words registered, I felt numb inside. It seemed every emotion had drained away, leaving behind an empty shell. I was weighing Belle down, and she didn't deserve that. The only thought that hit me finally ripped my heart to shreds. Maybe...maybe it'd be best if this ended. I could only imagine the pain I'd been putting her through these past two years.

"Belle...I can't do this," I muttered, fighting back every other thought.

She simply stared at me a long moment, not grasping my meaning. "What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

My mind screamed for me to just shut up, to keep what I felt to myself. But the shredded pieces of my heart knew it was time; Belle deserved better, more. It was time I allowed her that opportunity.

"I...I can't do this anymore, Belle. I think...it'd be best if this ended..."

There was silence then, hanging over our heads, cascading down on us like a suffocating blanket being tossed over head. Neither of us spoke, my words still digesting, still being processed.

"You don't mean that," she finally whispered, her voice like ice, slicing through me, leaving a mark I knew would never fully heal.

"I have to mean it," I finally whispered back.

More silence. The seconds ticked by endlessly, a painful realization of the situation forming. Two years. Two years, and everything I'd ever known, being carelessly tossed aside.

"Please, just...just go," I breathed, pulling away from Belle fully.

I immediately missed her warmth, longed for her to pull me back and refuse to go. I wanted her to tell me she loved me, that she was never leaving, to give that reassuring smile I'd found so soothing all this time. I didn't attempt to keep my emotions at bay any longer. Tears spilled, sobs broke forth, and while I was wallowing in self despair and self hatred, Belle left. She didn't argue, didn't fight. So I was left on the floor of my room, knowing everything I'd lived for was going.

Maybe death wouldn't be as bad as this...

Hey everyone. So this has been an idea I've been testing with and I wanted to know if y'all think maybe it's worth a shot? (: Leave your opinion and based on the majority I'll either continue or toss. Also I'll still be working on my other fanfic. Summer vacation's coming up so more time to write, yay!