Abandoned and Lost
Brother Version
Chapter Four: Deep in Thought

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You will remember this moment as you dig into me and from your smile now it seems as if you liked it
You'd better cherish this moment as you dig into me, you'll never get another chance at this
I can't handle the feeling of your pestering me, how would you like to meet my favorite fist?
I love to see you beg
It seems your pride has been stolen since you stood up to me
I'll tell you now, you know I think I really like it
So learn a lesson form someone who will never repeat the many tragic mistakes of his past
I hope you savor this moment as you're still on your feet
Words have their consequences when they're spoken to me
I stand above you now
Dream this moment as you run away
You're the one who kept on pushing 'til I made you bleed
-Disturbed (This Moment)

Three days since the living room, I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you
You gotta see the show 'cause then you'll know the vertigo is gonna grow 'cause it's so dangerous, you'll have to sign a waiver
Can't understand what I mean, well you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve, I have a history of taking off my shirt
It's been three days since the afternoon you realized it's not my fault, not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me, and now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry
The chinese chicken, you have a drumstick and your brain stops ticking
It's been one week since you looked at me, dropped your arms to the side and said "I'm sorry"
Five days since I laughed at you and said "You just did just what I thought you were gonna do!"
Three days since the living room, we realized we were both to blame but what could we do?
Yesterday, you just smiled at me 'cause we still got two days till we say we're sorry
-Barenaked Ladies (One Week)
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Luffy stared at his brother with a near longing expression from across the deck as the laughter of Usopp and Chopper faded out of his mind, putting all his attention on his distant brother. Gods, he still had a hard time believing his brother was here now, watching over him like he did nine years ago. He really wanted to help his brother. He wanted to help more than anything in the world at the moment. Forgiveness could come later, right now something was very wrong with Ace, and that was not natural.

Nightmares. How could something as silly as nightmares be bother Ace so much?

'Memories,' Luffy thought. 'Only memories in the form of nightmares would be able to bother someone like Ace so much.' But once again, what in the world could scare Ace? Gramps? 'No, no. Not even Gramps would be able to haunt Ace out like this. Maybe… maybe…' But no matter how hard Luffy thought, he could never come up with a solution. All the thinking was starting to hurt his head and he gave a small frustrated sigh. 'I should just talk with him. That's what you always wanted to do, right? For all these years, all you wanted to do was see him and talk. So why haven't you done that yet?' Luffy suddenly found himself standing behind his brother and opened his mouth ask the question.

"What happened?"

The question came out of nowhere. Literally. He had been standing there away from the crew just staring at the ocean like he's been doing the past seven days when all of a sudden his brother was behind him asking the question. Naturally, Ace spun around quickly, surprised that he hadn't heard him nearing but eventually came to the conclusion that he had been too deep in thought. "What?" Luffy continued to look at him, worry clearly seen in his eyes.

"What happened to you?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, Luffy," Ace exasperated slightly, pushing some hair behind his ear as he turned back to the ocean. He never wanted to let Luffy know what he had gone through. Ever.

"Why?" Luffy asked, slightly louder and angrier now.

"I just don't want to, Lu. Okay?"

"But you're starting to worry me! Why won't you let me in Ace? Not once, since we were kids, did you ever tell me what you were feeling. Well maybe I don't like it when you do that! Everyone has to eventually voice their problems, Ace, and I want to do nothing more than to help you. So why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because I love you!" Ace shouted, turning around quickly to look his brother in the eyes. Luffy took a step back from the sudden outburst and Ace quickly ran a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. "Look I've given you space, and I'd like some in return. Please," he whispered. But it was true, Ace didn't want Luffy prying into his past. Hell, even Ace didn't want to pry into his own past! And he really did love Luffy. He loved him more than anything in the world. They were brothers and nothing could break that apart. Nothing. He wanted to protect Luffy more than anything, but dammit, he's not doing a very good job is he? He just snapped at Luffy over such a stupid reason. He suddenly had the urge to bang his head against a wall. In fact, he was banging his head rather hard against a wall. Apparently he had left Luffy standing there on the deck, made his way to the bathroom, and was now head-banging the wall. 'When the fuck did I walk over here?' He leaned heavily against the wall and slid down to the floor, staring at the ceiling as he ignored the trickle of blood that rolled down his face. What was wrong with him? You want to protect someone, you don't go yelling at them, especially when you've only been reunited for a week. Ace closed his eyes and continued to bump the back of his head against the wall. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid…'

The door opened and his brother slowly walked in, closing the door behind himself. Ace had suddenly just walked off after his sudden outburst rather oddly, like he was ashamed about himself. Luffy's gaze softened as his eyes landed on his brother and took seat next to him, resting his arms on his knees and gazed to the ceiling. "You'll get brain damage like that," he commented and Ace stopped but kept his eyes closed.

"Maybe that's what I was aiming for," he muttered back in an attempt to apply some humor to the situation. It didn't work, and he really didn't care. "Sorry for yelling." Luffy shook his head.

"No, I deserved it. I shouldn't have tried to pry. I'm sorry." Ace gave a weak chuckle.

"Heh, you actually sounded smart there. Like a grown-up."

"Well you learn to grow up a little when you're left alone," Luffy replied and that pang of heavy guilt hit Ace right in the heart again, making him gasp slightly before letting out the breath slowly.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry, Luffy." Said boy put his attention on the floor, his hat covering his eyes.

"It's okay," he murmured back. "But I do eventually want to know. I can't forgive you if I don't know the reason why you left." Ace nodded.

"Okay." The two sat there in silence, both lost in their thoughts. Ace wondered if he'd ever be able to tell Luffy what he went through. He really didn't want to, he didn't want Luffy to feel guilty or bad. But he had to tell him sometime, right? 'Okay, okay. I'll tell him after he's ready to sit down with me and talk. He'll have to make the first move this time.' But was that fair of him? Maybe Ace should make the first move, seeing it was him who left Luffy for no reason. 'But what if he's thinking I should go first and I think he should go first and neither of us make a move at all?' All this psychological thinking was starting to hurt his mind. Ace gave a groan and laid his head in his arms.

'…Fuck.'

Luffy didn't know what to do. Should he make the first move? Or should Ace? 'Ace should make the first move,' Luffy thought. 'He left me with no reason or explanation. But… maybe he wants me to go first to see if I've finally grown up some. To see if I have responsibility. But what if he hasn't made the move to talk yet because like earlier he said he wanted space. But what if neither of us make a move? Then we'll get nowhere fast like that. But still…' Luffy put on a confused expression.

'…Who the fuck's gonna make the first move?'

Luffy gave out a groan as he rested his forehead on his arms.

'What the fuck's wrong with me!' They thought in unison as they sat in the same position next to each other. They both looked up, looked at each other, and turned away; obviously frustrated and annoyed with themselves for not knowing who the hell was going to make the first move to talk.

"Bluejam." The word came from Ace quietly, causing Luffy to turn towards his brother. Ace was still looking the other way at the ground, still hugging his knees, and looked like a small child who was so sad and hurt.

"Huh?"

"He was the reason I had to leave." Luffy blinked in confusion as he stared on. Bluejam? Why did that name sound so…

Oh.

Bluejam. That's right.

"I don't care about him! Why should I? I'm only watching him because his stupid grandfather placed him in my care! If I don't take care of him, he'll murder me! Otherwise I'd never take care of a weak idiot like him! I had to call him my brother or he'd cry like a fucking baby! Kill him if you want, see if I care! I was gonna ditch his ass anyway in a few years!"

The sudden memory of those words pierced Luffy's heart and he instantly grabbed at it, taking in a sharp breath as he tried to push down the escalating anger at his brother and Bluejam. Ace instantly noticed this and set his hand Luffy's shoulder to look him in the face. "Luffy? Luffy, are you okay?" Luffy's shrugged his brother's hand off roughly and took in several breaths to try and calm himself. Ace backed away from his brother, giving him some breathing space. Maybe bringing up Bluejam wasn't the best idea. "Sorry." Luffy shook his head.

"No, it's alright." It was a dry answer and Ace suddenly felt that sting of guiltiness come on. "I was just thinking how I'll never be able to eat jam that's blue now." Ace gave a chuckle and Luffy joined in. Their chuckles quickly became laughter as they leaned on each other, laughing hard over nothing in particular.

Zoro had been standing outside the bathroom door for several minutes, hearing nothing but silence coming from the other side. He had his fist up, ready to knock and ask if he could come in when the sound of laughter hit his ears. He gave a small smile, lowering his hand. Looks Luffy him and his brother were finally starting to reconnect again. Zoro was glad, he wouldn't be able to stand it if his captain wasn't happy. He turned around with his hands in his pockets, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders he didn't even realize had been there.

The rest of the morning and most of the afternoon, Ace and Luffy spent their time making jokes near Sunny's railings as the crew watched on in happiness. They were so relieved to finally see the two brother's getting along, especially after the small outburst from the logia user earlier. Because brother or not, anyone who had the fucking balls to hurt their captain would pay severely, most likely with their lives.

Ace smiled bright at Luffy and Luffy smiled just as brightly back. This was it, this was what Ace had missed all those years. Being with Luffy again just made his entire life. Joining Whitebeard's crew was the second best thing that ever happened to him. Finding Luffy: definitely first. Being able to laugh with him, to wrestle with him, to tease him. Yep, that's it.

Ace was definitely in heaven at the moment.

Luffy was in heaven too, because this was the moment he had been waiting for for all those years. To be able to see Ace and his smile again just brightened his life even more. He was surrounded by his loving nakama on a totally fucking awesome ship and now he had his brother. Life for Luffy couldn't have gotten any better.

Unless, of course, they, like, found the mother of all meats. Just a mountain of never ending tender, moistened, flavored meat that never disappeared no matter how much he ate. Now if he and his nakama and his ship and his brother were there, that would be absolute fucking heaven.

"What the hell are you thinking of?" Ace asked, both curious and annoyed. Luffy's head had been resting on Ace's arm and while he was daydreaming, he had began to salivate to the max, drooling all over his brother's arm and hand. Luffy blinked and raised his head, wiping any drool he had off his chin and Ace lit his arm on fire to dissolve the rather warm saliva. Luffy looked on in amazement.

"Sugei! That's so cool, Ace!"

"Yeah, it comes in handy for times like now." Luffy simply laughed. "So what exactly were you thinking of?" Ace had to know now, he was curious as to what would make his brother salivate so much all over his arm.

"Oh, I was thinking about you, me, my ship, and nakama on a never-ending mountain of meat, just eating and eating and eating the deliciousness!" Luffy almost started drooling again at just the thought of it all and Ace let out a laugh, ruffling his brother's hair.

They were having such a great time.

It's such a shame to say that their great time was about to be ruined.

A ship on the horizon had gone unnoticed as both the crew and the brother's were too busy enjoying themselves until the very last moment. The ship was headed right for them and was now within earshot. The ship was simple with a red skull figurehead with teeth aligned similar to its captain's. With only three masts, two anchors, and side mounted cannons, it was no sort of threat to the crew.

However, as Ace went to look at Luffy and spotted the ship, he quickly became serious. He knew that ship. Oh he knew it and wanted to destroy it. The crew quickly becomes aware of Ace's change in stance and noticed the ship quickly approaching. Luffy saw this too and looked to Ace. "What's wrong, Ace?"

"That's Bluejam's ship, Luffy." Luffy's eyes widened and went back to the ship.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I spent a day on it wishing I could kill them all." Ace's look darkened. "Especially Bluejam." Suddenly, said person appeared on the deck of the enemy ship, that same grin on his face that Ace remembered nine years ago. Spotting the two brothers, that grin seemed to grow.

"Ah, Ace! How's my slave been?" Luffy quickly looked over to his brother.

"Slave?"

"He's lying," Ace quickly replied, his eyes never leaving the pirate.

"Haha, so you do care for that brat! I knew it. I should have sold both–" Ace let out a threatening growl that even shut the arrogant pirate up. "Still have the will to fight. You haven't changed, Ace. That's probably why I've missed you." Ace didn't fail to catch the seductive tone Bluejam spoke in and his glare darkened more. He suddenly remembered the night Bluejam had him on his ship and how the man had chained him to a wall, letting his hands travel all over his young body and play with him for an hour. The memory made Ace sick and he could almost feel the phantom hands traveling over his lower body again, sending a shiver down his spine. "Did you miss me too, sla–" Ace's fiery fist connected with Bluejam's face as he launched himself towards the ship with speed. Not a second later, Luffy's jet pistol also connected, both powerful attacks sending the pirate through all three masts. Ace took deep breaths as his eyes were afire with anger.

"You," he spoke deeply, his voice thick with danger as he stood on the enemies ship. "It's your fault… we suffered for years because of you." He stood above Bluejam with fists alight, his eyes dark with anger. The sight scared the shit out of the wounded pirate. He cowered beneath that deathly gaze.

"W-Wait, maybe we can make a deal–"

"Fuck you!" Ace threw punch after punch after punch upon the pirate. He even took the liberty of stomping on the man's crotch once as payback for nine years ago. After nearly beating the pirate to death, Ace dragged the man over to the railing and spotted Luffy. "Here, take as many hits as you want." Luffy gladly took the offer, hitting the man with several heavy attacks that no doubtfully broke bones. Now on the brink of death, Ace dragged dying the man on the deck to his crew and stared in him the eyes. "When your burning in hell, I want you to think of me and how I kicked your sorry excuse of an ass. I also want you to remember that if you ever try to mess with me or my brother in another life, I will cut off your feet, your hands, your nose, your penis, and I'll pluck your eyes out slowly. But I'll let you keep your ears so every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, 'Dear god, what is that thing' will echo in your perfect ears. I'll leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. Do. You. Understand?" Bluejam quickly nodded with whatever was left of his head and Ace gave a dark smile. "Good." Ace stood up and the pirate let out a gurgled sigh of relief before Ace brought down his booted foot on the man's neck, easily crushing it. Surprisingly though, it didn't kill the man. Ace was slightly thankful for that. Jumping off and back onto the Thousand Sunny, Ace simply snapped his fingers and all the green orbs of light floating around the enemies ship burst into flames. Luffy stared at the giant ball of burning light, feeling somewhat odd inside.

Bluejam was dead. The reason Ace was taken away was finally gone. But still, something gnawed at the back of his mind. He clearly heard it even though Ace was on the ship. He had said, "We suffered years because of you." Why did Ace suffer? Ace was only on the ship for a day, right? So why…?

"Slave," he murmured to himself. "Could Ace… have been a slave? No, that can't be right. He said he was trying to find me for years. Maybe he was simply lost at sea?" Luffy looked back to Ace who continued to walk towards the men's quarters, a rather satisfying grin on his plastered face.

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Want to read this as AceLu? Go read the AceLu version! :D
Okay, this is a lot like the AceLu version, except no AceLu. But starting next chapter, or the one after, the two version are going to divide. ^^ So I don't know if Ace would be that violent even to an enemy. Well, like I said, ooc was in this. So tell me what you think! Thanks for all the reviews and more would be much appreciated! Thank you!
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Oh! And can Mountain97 email me please? Here's my email: Ace Of Sweeney gmail . com
Thank you!