I swear, this sort of genre ain't my thing. Crack, crack, crack, that's what I do best.

Oh well. Try to enjoy it. I suck at writting, so please be patient with me? Sorry. I tried to keep it simple, since Lavi doesn't go around using pretty, fancy, long words all the time.

Spoilers for chapter 129. Told from Lavi's point of view.


It was a quick movement. Almost like a reflex. In the condition we were in, I had no time to think about it. Did it really matter? Did I actually care?

But now there's no turning back. Whether it was my choice or not, whether I put myself in this position because I knew this would happen or not… It doesn't really matter.

My weapon's gone. All that's left are small pieces of it, falling around me. There's no way to figure out it used to be a hammer. No one could tell how much it meant to me.

…Or was it even mine, to begin with?

"Tch. To be done in by Tyki was just pathetic".

My grip on Chaoji's hand loosens. We begin to fall faster.

"Is this the end?"

He lets go.

"Damn…"

I close my eyes. Suddenly, everything around me disappears. Is this… The feeling of death? Does this mean I was meant to die alone?

Allen, the others… They never found out, after all. They never knew the real me. For the future Bookman to slip like that would be a real tragedy.

No, not a tragedy. A shame.

The old man. I wonder if he's fighting right now. I wonder if he's hurt. I wonder how he'll react when he finds out. He'll probably enjoy not being called "Old Panda" anymore, and his new apprentice will probably be better at the job than me. I wonder… If the old man's new apprentice will care about him as much as I did.

The war has started. I'm nothing but a sacrifice. I'm nothing but a life that needed to be given in. I'm nothing but a hypocrite that would never bring victory to the good guys. So, in the end, this was the right thing to do.

Right?

Chaoji, I'm sorry. You could've been a great Exorcist. You could've helped the others greatly. I tried. There's nothing wrong with that, I guess.

At least, now I won't have to worry anymore. I won't feel like I betrayed anyone. I won't feel like I failed. I won't feel like I wasted my life doing things I wasn't ever good in to begin with. I won't feel warm or cold, happy or sad, determined or confused. I won't have any feelings at all.

Not that I was ever supposed to have feelings. Even if I was a human, such things as feelings or emotions were useless to me. Friendships were useless, as well.

But I did feel happy once. I also felt warm inside. And now… I'm disgusted of myself. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen.

Curse you, Lavi.


"Mmhmm… Hm?" I open my eyes.

I can hear birds. I get up. The tower is back, untouched, with no damage. Chaoji's here as well.

"Huh?"… I look at my hand, to reassure myself.

"Didn't we fall?" Yes, we did. But we're still alive.

"What's going on?! The town that was destroyed…?! It's coming back!"

I don't understand. What just happened? Why are we still alive?

I guess there's no point in asking that. If I was given this chance… If I can still live for some more time…

…Maybe I should give it another shot.

Don't you think, Lavi?

The End