Disclaimer: I own nothing. except the plot.
Of all the things I believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But I do not cry.
Counting the days that pass me by.
"Ginny?" a voice asks. I look up to see Hermione poking her head in the door. "Are you coming down to dinner?" I nod fighting the tears that threaten to spill. Hermione pauses and comes in the door.
"What did he do this time?" she asks quietly, knowing why I'm sitting here almost crying – again. I hand her the scrap of parchment he sent me today.
Ginny,
I'm writing to tell you I won't be able to meet you today after all. Or anytime this week for that matter. I will owl you again when I can see you.
I love you, my Ginny,
D.M.
Hermione hisses as she finishes the letter.
"How dare he?" she mutters. I shrug.
"I haven't seen him for 3 weeks," I whisper strained. I'm fighting with every fiber of my being to not write him back begging him to see me or to tell me why suddenly he refuses to see me.
"I wish he would just end it or take me to be his, forever, like he promised," I tell my friend. Hermione flinches. She knows something I don't.
"Spill, 'Mione," I say. She gets stiff, trying to come up with a lie.
"Spill what, Ginny?" she asks. She sucks at lying, especially to me.
"What aren't you telling me?" I ask annoyed now. She shrugs.
"It's nothing, really," she says trying to smile. I start to hyperventilate.
"He was with her again wasn't he?" I ask softly. I'm surprised Hermione can understand what I said. She nods slightly, afraid of what it'll do to me.
"Well, I guess I just have to end it," I say in a voice that doesn't belong to me. Hermione gasps.
"Are you sure?" she asks. I nod. Grabbing a quill and parchment.
Draco,
I think it's time for me to do what I've needed to do for years. I would tell you to your face, but you refuse to see me.
It's over, Draco. I'm done. You always have time for Pansy and your Slytherin friends, but never for me anymore. I can't be in the kind of relationship anymore. Have a nice life, Draco. I really do hope you make it in whatever you try.
All my love,
G.W.
With shaking hands I tie the parchment to the owl Draco had sent to me.
"Take this back to him," I tell the owl. It hoots once in understanding and takes off through the window. Sighing I turn and follow Hermione downstairs to eat, putting on a smile so my family doesn't see how unhappy I am. No one but Hermione knows about Draco, and no one but Hermione can ever know.
I've been searching deep down in my soul,
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old,
Feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend.
And I said,
Good-bye to you.
Good-bye to everything that I knew,
You were the one that I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on too.
Days pass.
At some point I stop watching the horizon for Draco's return owl. I know George and Ron are starting to wonder what's wrong with me. I laugh and tell them they're going crazy when they ask. No one can ever know.
Weeks pass.
I stop hoping he'll send an owl begging me to forgive him or that he'll show up here and beg me to take him back. I start to believe the last three years have ment nothing to him. I throw myself into work with everything I am. I know Hermione worries so I stop spending time with her.
Then one day it happens. George is the one that gives me the news that I have an owl. I rush downstairs expecting something from work.
I freeze.
It's his owl.
Draco's.
I've almost repressed all memories of him.
Everything comes flooding back.
Depression takes me. I sink to the floor crying. Vaguely I hear George yell for Hermione.
"Ginny?" Hermione asks. "Ginny, c'mon."
She pulls me to my room and shoves the parchment in my hand. I'm shaking to hard to be able to read it.
"Read it to me," I beg. Hermione shakes her head.
"It's up to you. I'm here, but I won't read it for you," she tells me. I unroll the parchment slowly, terrified of what it might say.
Ginny,
I know I should have responded sooner, but I didn't have the chance. Please Gin, don't do this. I'm sorry. I can't explain now, but hopefully I can soon. Please Gin, I'm begging you. Give me another chance. I can't see you for a while, but as soon as I can I'll come see you at your house. I'll explain everything then, but for now just hold on. Just keep waiting. You'll be rewarded soon.
I love you, my Ginny,
D.M.
I pass the letter to Hermione without saying a word. Tears run down my face. I know I can't go through this again, but I want him with all my heart.
"Are you going to answer?" Hermione asks. I shake my head.
"I can't," I whisper. I give her a pleading look, she understands. This time it's Hermione that grabs the quill and parchment.
Draco,
Leave Ginny alone, she's been through enough. She doesn't want to see you anymore so spare your lies. If you ever contact her again, so help me Merlin, I will deal with you personally. And if you remember Hogwarts, it won't be pretty.
Hermione
Hermione sends the letter with her own owl. Draco's owl left ages ago. Then she comes and wraps her arms around me as I succumb to my misery.
I used to get lost in your eyes,
And it seems I can't live a day without you,
Closing my eyes and you chased my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light.
But it's not right, and,
Good-bye to you.
Good-bye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on too.
For months I sit around and do nothing but work. Sometimes Hermione sits with me, but I don't notice her presence. My brothers have given up trying to communicate with me. Sometimes I hear my parents talking about putting me in St. Mungo's. But I'm not sick so they don't. I hear Hermione tell them I'm just depressed that I'll get over it.
I spend my spare time looking at pictures of us. My favorite is one of us just staring at each other. It's so obvious on my face he's all I see. I remember those stormy gray eyes. I remember all those days I would close my eyes against the blinding sun next to him. He would hold me tight and whisper his plans for our future in my ear. Plans that now ment nothing: our house, our kids, how I wouldn't have to work; he always promised he would support me. I laugh bitterly, throw the picture down again, and leave for work.
"Ginny!" I hear his voice call. I freeze for a second then start to walk faster. It's been 4 months since Hermione sent him her letter. He'd never responded so we believed he'd taken her warning seriously. Apparently not. Someone grabs my arm and whorls me around. I gasp as I'm forced to look him in the eyes.
For am moment I get lost again; lost in those stormy gray eyes. For a moment everything is perfect and I remember why I fought so hard to keep him. Why I never gave up. He was my angel after the war. After Harry died he pulled me out of my personal hell. He gave me light.
"Ginny," he whispers. "My Ginny." He pulls me close. I stare at the black of his robes; black like the hole he once pulled me out of. Black like the hole he put me in again.
"I'm so sorry," he whispers. I pull away from him.
"I have to go to work," I tell him. I have to get away. I have to get to work. I need to owl Hermione.
"Meet me after work," he requests. "Or for lunch." I nod.
"I have a lunch break at twelve-fifteen," I tell him. I know I won't go, but for now I have to satisfy him.
"Ok, I'll pick you up at your work then," he says. I nod again, there's nothing else I can say. "I love you, my Ginny." I turn away and run. Tears start pouring down my face again. I can't deal with this. Not now.
At work I owl Hermione my letter is quick and to the point. She is there within minutes. She comes up with a plan. Draco should have taken her warning more seriously. She's so angry now. My Hermione. My best-friend. My sister. My savior.
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
I want what's yours and I want what's mine.
I want you but I'm not giving in this time.
Good-bye to you.
Good-bye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on too.
At twelve-fifteen she goes down. I follow behind to watch, but I stay out of sight within earshot.
"I though I told you never to contact her again," Hermione says coldly.
"I had to," Draco says. "I have to explain."
"There is nothing to explain," Hermione snaps.
"There is," Draco says. I want to run out there, to ask him why, to take him, but I don't. I don't want him anymore. It is only leftover feelings that bind me to him now.
"Just let me talk to her," Draco pleads.
"She doesn't want to talk to you," Hermione answer. Suddenly I realize I do. I want to talk to him. As much as I don't. But I need to hear his explanation. I need to know why he left me and why he's back.
"Wait," I say coming out of my hiding place. I stare into his eyes. They hold nothing for me anymore; he's hurt me too much. "Explain then."
"The left over Death Eaters," Draco says. I scoff.
"I had to round them up. I couldn't have a relationship with anyone or they would have used you. I couldn't stand that. I love you and only you. Please, Ginny, believe me," he begs. I shake my head.
"The first time, a year after you saved me from myself, it was the Wizarding world. You didn't want me to be seen with you because of your reputation. The second time, it was because you were so busy with your job, and I with mine apparently. I didn't see or hear for you for six months even though I sent you an owl every day. This time it's the Death Eaters. What would it have been next time? Some silly parties you have to attend to get promoted? A promotion that leads to a busier job?" I ask angrily.
"But I worked through it didn't I? I always came back to you when I could!" Draco defends himself.
"And if you really loved me, you would never have left me," I say. "You would have moved in with me somewhere like you promised. We would have a family." I start to cry again.
"But it will never happen," I say.
"It could, Ginny!" he says. "Now! We'll move in together. We'll get married next summer since it was your dream to get married in the summer. We'll start a family. Please Ginny! I can't lose you!" I'm shaking my head again.
"No, Draco. I can't. I can't love you anymore. Three years has been too much. Good-bye, Draco Malfoy," I tell him.
"NO!" He shouts. I flinch.
"Yes," I say softly.
"But I love you, Ginny!" he protests.
"I loved you too. Once upon a time," I say. He starts to cry. Hermione touches my arm lightly. She nods in the direction of my favorite café. Minutes later we're sitting in our little booth, like nothing had happened. I look at Draco one last time before he apperates. I don't remember why I loved him so much. All he ever did was break me when I was already so broken.
Good-bye to you.
Good-bye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on too.
A few weeks later Hermione wordlessly hands me a copy of The Daily Prophet. I look down at the article that is tucked into a corner.
MALFOY AIR GONE MISSING
At noon on Monday the official report was printed out. Draco Malfoy, 21, was reported missing by his good friend, Pansy Parkinson, 21. Parkison claims she was supposed to meet up with Malfoy on Sunday afternoon for lunch.
"He didn't show up and I wasn't really surprised, he was really stressed and depressed. I sent him and owl and didn't get a responds so I went to check on him Monday morning and his house was completely empty and covered in a thin layer of dust," Parkinson said. Malfoy's boss, Hannah Abbot, 22, said she hadn't seen Malfoy for the past few weeks.
"He's taking a well deserved vacation," Abbot said. "He just rounded up the last well know Death Eaters." While Parkinson seems worried that Malfoy is missing, his mother agrees with Abbot and refuses to look at it as anything more that Malfoy taking a long Vacation.
"Draco often disappears for weeks on end. It's nothing new, and believe me, my boy will show up," Narcissa told reports. While Abbot and Narcissa remain unworried, Parkinson isn't the only one with doubts on the Vacation story. Gregory Goyle, 22, believes that Draco may have moved.
"His girlfriend of three years, Ginny Weasly, just broke up with him," Goyle said. "So he may have left the country for good. Why stay in a place that reminds you of things that hurt?"
Whether Malfoy is on vacation, has move, or is indeed a missing person remains a mystery. Only time can tell what happened to the missing air.
By: Colin Creevy.
I shake my head and give Hermione back her paper.
"Well," I say. "At least I won't have to see him anymore." We laugh together. It still stings a bit that I will never see him again. But I am no longer the broken girl I was.
I don't need to hold on to him anymore.
I am healing.
Good-bye to you.
Good-bye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on too.
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A/N: Please R&R!!! Please? for a cookie?
I may write a sequel to this. Depending on what the reviews look like.
Music is: Good-bye to You by Michelle Branch.
