AN: This is my first venture into any sort of fanfiction writing. I've been reading for a ridiculous number of years (since 2006!) though. I'm going through some very painful stuff right now and had to get my feelings out because my husband just doesn't understand. I'm sorry to say that I don't really give a damn if you like this but its the truth. Writing this was slightly cathartic and that's all that really matters to me at this point. Hopefully someone else going through the same shit will see this and know that they aren't alone.

Five. Five people she knew were expecting a child.

First was her cousin's wife. They had been married for less than 3 months when the announcement was made. The baby was due 6 weeks before the date that would be their 9 month anniversary.

Then one of the girls from her main group of friends. Her and her husband had been trying for years to conceive. A month before they were due to start muggle IUI they found out that they were excepting. She was happy. She was jealous, but her primary emotion regarding this one was absolute joy. After all the nights spent crying, her friend had finally gotten her wish.

Then a former childhood friend. One of those people who had to be better than you no matter what the situation. "Oh you have an A average? Well I have a perfect 4.0" "Oh your one year old knows how to count to 10, well my 2 day old can count to infinity" OK that was an exaggeration but you get the picture.

Fourth was a second girl from her main group of friends. The announcement was made on her birthday. The worst birthday present ever. Her friend had known that they were trying and had been for over a year. And yet she insisted upon ruining her birthday with it.

After hearing the news Draco had calmly escorted her from the restaurant to their home. She had spent the better part of the next 72 hours baking. That was her newest coping mechanism. She baked.

Finally the fifth was her cousin. She had 2 female cousins. One she loved and who was practically her best friend. The other, she hated. Of course it had to be the one she hated. The woman already had 3 kids. All boys. The couple was hoping for a girl. Hermione prayed daily that it would be another boy.

It's amazing how infertility had changed her outlook. Before infertility she was happy when a friend got pregnant. After infertility she couldn't decide if she was sad that her best friend of 24 years had miscarried or not. Call her callous but the bitch didn't even like the 2 kids she had. And to top it all off the only reason she was trying to get pregnant again (her husband didn't even know) was because Hermione and Draco were trying. Just 3 months before the miscarriage she had told Hermione that she was going to try for another baby because she wanted to have more kids than Hermione had and if she was trying for number 2 then she needed to up her game.

The thing that upset her the most about this infertility nonsense was the fact that they already had one son. He was nearly 3 (would be in July) and was the spitting image of his father...physically. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. His personality though was all Hermione. He was absolutely perfect and they loved him with all of their heart.

How could she be fertile enough for them to create DJ (his name was Draco Jr.) but not able to have another? She felt empty. She felt worthless. She felt like she had let Draco down.

She couldn't sleep

She couldn't eat

She couldn't genuinely laugh

All she could do was cry

And bake

And sleep.

She slept.