Author's Note: In the aftermath of the episode 10x19 I just felt so badly for Brennan, so this became.
The Pain of a broken Heart
Temperance Brennan Booth heard the door slam shut, when her husband left on her command. She leaned her head against her hands. Not really sure why her heart sank so fast in her chest. Of course she knew both the emotional and the biological reason. Still the pain she felt was bigger than she wanted to live with.
Booth had lied to her, he had looked her right in the eyes and lied. That hurt more than the lie itself. Her hand rested on her belly, the small fetus was moving around in there. Unsettled like it's mother.
She was pacing trying to get it, why her husband had gone back to gambling, why he had owed that much. Tears in her eyes, running fast down her cheeks.
'No he is not worth crying over, no this is not worth crying over,' she told herself in a harsh tone. This pain wasn't even a real one, she could explain it in biological terms.
Heartbreak is a term used to describe crushing grief, anguish, and distress, often due to the pains and strains of love. The experience of heartbreak can be so intense that some scientists suggest such as her self had said that it felt the same as physical pain. She knew all of this, that they pain was not supposed to be real, still it was. It felt like someone was putting a knife in her heart and twisting it in the wound. She gasped as she sat down on the couch. More tears she didn't want followed the first. Salty and cold, down hot cheeks. Hot of the anger she felt within.
Tempe even knew Booth well enough to know that he wouldn't call her, she knew in fact that he would stay away. In the end it wouldn't matter to her if he had called or not, because in the end the lie was still the same. An apology was just empty words. He shouldn't have done what he did. He shouldn't have gambled, they both knew it. She didn't even know if she could trust him again. Not for a long time, if she ever could. She had trusted her with everything, her life, her soul, her heart, before tonight.
Then he had to go and be all stupid, and for what. Something as stupid as money games. Although Tempe didn't know if it had hurt less if he had cheated on her, she truly hated this. She even hated herself for letting herself feel so much. She curled up on the couch, pushing a pillow under her head. She should eat something she knew, or drink something, but right now she didn't care. Her husband, the love of her life, the father of their children, her partner in life, the pain he left behind seems greater than all else. And so she lay there curled up on the couch, crying like a small child. She cried until there was no more tears left, her mind still going in loops, making her feel drained. To drained to get up or even sit up she fell asleep there on the couch, still dressed.
In fact the brunette didn't even wake until the doorbell rang the next morning. She startled, groaning by the fact that her body was aching from sleeping there. Although it was much better than sleeping in a bed that felt like him, she figured. She sat up slowly with another groan, hoping it was not Booth outside. She wasn't up with dealing with him right now. Even if her inside was struggling between two things, wanting to slap him hard and keep on hitting him, and crying in the safety of his arms….Pregnancy hormones, she explained to herself.
Lucky for her it was not her husband, but her father. She opened the door fully so he could get inside, "Good morning, Max."
"Good morning, Tempe," he said, holding up a bag with Christine's things. Bones smiled and took it. What was she going to say to their daughter, how was she going to explain she didn't want her father to live there right now.
"Are you okay?" Max asked, seeing her troubled face.
"Yes…no, it is Booth, he went behind my back and now everything is ruinined," she felt like a complaining teenager. Especially since she didn't really trust her father either. But he was after all her father.
"You mean he cheated?" Max asked rather shocked.
"What, no…no, he gambled," she said with a deep sigh. A storm racing in her light blue eyes.
He approached her, and slowly embraced her, she didn't even try to break free, whispering, "Why does it hurt, dad, this is not physical pain. It makes no sense."
For a short second he could see the young girl he once raised. Conflicted by the feelings of her heart and her mind. It was what her made her human, what made her Bones. He took a breath saying, "It will pass in time, are you going in to work today?"
"No, I can't face him right now," she said, she had to call in sick. She could always blame it on the baby. The pain was gnawing on her, all she wanted to do was curl up and cry. He stroked her backside gently, not knowing what to say. She only let herself be held for so long, though. Then she said, "I am being stupid, of course I need to work, it would be immature to avoid him."
"No, it wouldn't," her father said, looking at her, adding, "You could ask Angela to come over?"
"Maybe…" she said, hugging him again, before he left. She sent a mail saying she would be home sick. Right now she didn't care what other's thought, she would be back to deal with that the next day. She took a deep breath, before she made her way upstairs to her, their bedroom, where she curled up in bed, crying yet again.
The day passed away as in a blur, she was mostly in bed, when it was noon she heard someone unlocking the door downstairs. She turned so her back was facing the door, in case it was Booth. Tempe soon heard on the footsteps that they were lighter. Soon the door opened and she heard Angela's worried voice say, "Sweetie, how are you doing?"
"Angela, what are you doing here?" she asked, turning to face her with tear rimmed cheeks and red eyes.
Angela came to join her saying, "Awwwe sweetie," she hugged her, pulling her close. Bones let her face hide in her shoulder as she started to cry, "I…don't get it, why he would…"
Her friend didn't ask any questions, she didn't need to. After all she had gotten the key of Booth to check on Bones. She just stroked her, whispering calming words, polite lies to make her feel just a bit better. After all her friend was hurting and that she figured, was the least she could do.
Bones was just glad Angela was there to Christine came home from work that day. It made her feel less confused and lonely. She even explained calmly to Christine that daddy had done something wrong, and would not be back for now. She seemed to understand at least partly. She was glad her daughter was smart like her, at least even at a young age, she had someone that was like her. And right then, that made all the difference.
As Bones hugged their daughter goodnight, she said, "Don't worry, mommy, you will be okay."
"I know, baby Bones," she said and kissed her cheek lovingly. Even thought Booth had given her that names, she sometimes used it also. Her daughter smiled as Bones slowly closed the door, leaving a small nightlight on.
She went to her bedroom, only to find a book to read. She knew Christine was right, she would be okay, she just didn't know how long it would take before she was, or if she could ever forgive Seeley. At least now that seemed impossible. A sigh as Tempe turned the page in the book with a smile, glad it would distract her if only for some hours. Right now it was just what she needed.
Thank you so much for reading, feedback is always welcome :o)
