Author note: I don't own Zelda or anything related to it. God! If only, if only… Oh! And after you read it, just imagine it in manga form… If I could draw or know JohnSu on deviantart, I'd make it happen!! Curse me and my suckishness… Oh yea, review it, please! I would like to know how you liked it.

Link's Love

On one sunny day in Hyrule, the girls (Malon, Zelda, Ruto, Nabooru, and Saria) decide to have a get-together in Hyrule field.

"Ah! It's so nice today!" Malon exclaims, shielding her eyes from the bright sun. She carries a picnic basket, which was quite heavy.

"So nice to be out here, with all our close friends," Zelda smiles and links arms with Saria in a middle-schoolgirl kind of fashion, with an attitude equally girlish.

"Lets's set our picnic here," Ruto points a finned finger towards a lone tree. They set up their spot, serving little finger foods like sandwiches and biscuits (they forgot fish, considering since their cousin is just across the blanket).

"It's so nice being with friends without anything getting in between us," Saria says, eating a sandwich.

"Yeah, I just wish my boyfriend was here," Zelda sighs.

"Boyfriend?"

"You know, Link? The Hero of Time? He's my boyfriend."

Nabooru snorts, "Your boyfriend? You think Link's yours?"

"Yeah, I mean, I AM the princess. So, naturally, I get the hero."

"Excuse me for butting in, your conceitedness," Saria stands over Zelda, "But I've known him all his life. You can't just call dibs on a whim. I don't even think you know a single thing about him."

"Of course I know him!" the princess blurts.

"Oh, reeeeeaaaaally?" Saria leers, "So I'm guessing you know the nickname I gave him when he was a baby?"

"Sure I do. It's……… it's……….. ummm….."

"I rest my case…"

"Now hold it! Y'all are actin' ridiculous!" Malon exclaims, her drawl sounding thicker than usual, "It was MAH horse he took with him on all his adventures. And it was MAH ranch that he saved from Ganondorf's influence!"

"Simmer down, kid. Your reasons for claiming him are actually useless compared to theirs," Nabooru says.

"Shove it, Gerud-hoe!" Malon shouts.

"What did you call me??" Nabooru draws her swords and gets up into Malon's face.

"Now now, girls!" Ruto raises her voice over the bickering, "Don't you think this fighting is pointless? I mean, we're out here trying to have fun as close friends. We shouldn't let a stupid boy ruin our day."

"I guess you're right," Zelda sighs. They others add their agreement.

"After all, I think you and I all know that Link belongs to me. We are engaged after all."

"WHAAAAAAAT??"

And the bickering continues… for hours and hours… Until Link came around on Epona near the picnic site to see the girls fighting.

"Again? Why does this keep happening?" Link sighs. He approaches the scene and dismounts, "All right girls, what is it this time?"

"OMG LIIIINK!!" All the girls suddenly surround him and suffocate him with hugs and kisses.

"Girls! Girls! Come on now!" After a while, he managed to break free, "Now, what were you five fighting about?"

"About dibs," Saria says.

"On you," Zelda finishes.

"Dibs?" Link cocks a brow.

"Because we all love you, as much as I hate to admit it," Nabooru crosses her arms.

"Is that what this is all about?" Link laughs, "I thought you guys are out to murder me for something I did!"

"Don't kid around Link," Ruto says, "Now you have to make your decision on the ultimate question: who do you love the most?"

"Remember that I'm the princess who helped you seal the Evil King away and who you risked your life to rescue!" Zelda appears in front of him and grabs his hand.

Suddenly, Saria pushed her aside, "I've been your friend your whole life, Link. And I think you and I both know that we know everything about each other."

Malon slaps Saria away, "You saved mah ranch from Ganondorf's evil power, not to mention that I lent you mah horse for your journeys."

Ruto smacks Malon away with her fins, "I can't stress this enough! I'm your fiancée, idiot!!"

The din of frustrated girls drowned out Link's words, "Girls, quiet!!" He finally shouts, succeeding in making them stop talking, "Listen, I know you all love me, but I just can't choose any of you."

"Yes!! I knew you'd choo- wait, what?" Zelda's well-prepared reaction falls short on his answer.

"I'm sorry girls. You are all very special to me in different ways, but I have someone else who fills that empty spot in my heart right now."

"Then… who is your love?" Saria asks, perplexed.

"I thought you'd never ask," Link's eyes started to sparkle, "I am in love with………"

There was an increased pause that made the girls' eyes widen with each passing silent second.

"My milk cow!!" Link finally answers.

"WHAAAAAT??" Their reaction is too colossal to measure.

"Oh… my sweet, sweet cow! Your brown eyes are so full of wonder and beauty! I could snuggle with you forever!" Link's eyes continue to shimmer as he swoons with the thought of his lovely milk cow. Epona, to the side, has a look that said "you gotta be kidding" on her face.

The girls start to sneak away from the love struck hero until they were out of his earshot.

"I can't believe we fell for HIM!" Malon is outraged.

"And to think we were fighting over someone who was into that kind of thing," the Zora princess has a look of disgust on her face, "I'm going to have to get my precious possession back."

"You know, I really think we ought to kill him to make him think he was right," Nabooru mutters.

"I'm so sorry I started all of this trouble, girls," Zelda says, "Let's promise not to let a guy get in between us ever again!"

The girls group-hug. As they hugged, they spotted a peculiar-looking man jogging past them. The girls pause, and start to laugh feebly.

The jogging man from Gerudo Valley tears like hell across Hyrule field with a mob of girls behind him, who were shouting that he was theirs.

"This isn't part of my schedule!!"