Title: Don't Look Down
Pairing: Harry/Scorpius
Rating:
NC17/Adult
Word Count:
5,906
Spoilers:
None
Warnings:
Age difference, 18/44
Disclaimer:
The characters depicted herein belong JK Rowling and associated publishers. I make no profit from this endeavour.
Author's Notes: Thank you to Singlemomsummer for the beta. Written for hpsmfest 2011.
Summary:
Harry tries to resist temptation until the day he sees Scorpius' tongue ring; after that, it's a battle he'll never win.

-O-

Present Day

"Ugh, who does Malfoy think he is?" James asked, glaring at the corner of the shaded area under the tree where Harry knew Scorpius was holding court, surrounded by a sea of his contemporaries. Harry didn't turn in the direction his son was indicating, he'd been perfectly aware of Scorpius' presence from the very moment he had arrived just less than an hour ago with his latest boyfriend, the model Jackson Smith.

"Malfoy's a celebrity, James, of course he's going to attract attention," Harry replied, staring miserably into his drink, counting the minutes until he could politely leave. If he'd realised Scorpius was going to be attending then Harry wouldn't have let Ginny talk him into agreeing to throw this twenty-first birthday party for Al. James' scathing observations about the younger Malfoy were horribly similar to those he'd spoken three years previously at Al's eighteenth.

"Look at him though, Dad, acting like he owns the place just because he's pretty and Muggles are stupid enough to pay him loads of money to take his photo!"

"James-"

"Look at Al, hanging off his every word!"

"James- Will you shut up!" Harry snapped. He slammed his glass on the nearest surface and stalked into the house. Shutting the door behind him Harry leant back against it and tipped his head back, willing his heart to stop pounding. He needed to get away from here; having a midlife crisis in his ex-wife's kitchen had not been part of the plan when he'd woken up that morning.

He closed his eyes and his mind drifted back...

-O-

Three Years Ago

"Ugh, who invited Malfoy?" James huffed with a pout, glaring at the door over Harry's shoulder.

Harry rolled his eyes. He had been enjoying talking with his son – since James had moved in with his girlfriend, Clara Nott, Harry didn't see him as much as he would like – but some things never changed, and his eldest child had never approved of his younger brother's friendship with the Malfoy heir, still holding a grudge on Harry's behalf against Draco Malfoy, even when Harry had long since buried the hatchet and regularly met up with his former rival socially.

"Oh – he's back from France then?" Harry turned to follow the direction of his eldest son's gaze, finding Scorpius Malfoy in the other end, his usually pale skin lightly tanned and his silver hair lighter than ever. His stomach flipped and he looked away before those pale blue eyes found his. It wasn't right that he was attracted to the younger – much younger – man; he was his friend's son and his own son's best friend. It could never happen.

He'd first noticed the way his heart sped up and his cock perked up in the presence of Scorpius at Al's graduation ceremony, when he'd been sitting in the audience, his mind running over all a list of changes he needed to make to his latest manuscript whilst waiting for it to be Al's turn. He'd automatically snapped to attention at the name Malfoy and had watched the slender blond ascending the stairs – all long limbs and graceful poise – to accept his certificate. The last time Harry had seen him in person he had been fifteen and painfully shy.

At eighteen Scorpius Malfoy stood at over six feet tall and that shyness had given way to confident self-assurance and – Harry had gulped in sickening realisation – an air of sexiness that had almost made Harry miss Al's turn on the stage when he hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from the hand that Scorpius was currently pulling through his hair as he watched his classmates receive their graduation certificates.

Harry immediately felt like an old pervert. He'd glanced at Ginny – the two of them amicably divorced for the last seven years – almost hoping that she would be similarly riveted by the sight of Scorpius and prove that it wasn't just him that was mesmerised – but no - Ginny only had eyes for their youngest son. Harry had shivered as a sudden flare of magic prickled under his skin as his body recognised pure want for the first time since- Since a long time.

In the weeks that had followed Harry had encountered Scorpius many times, occasionally in social situations but mainly when Al had brought him home with him; having the young man there, sometimes sleeping under his own roof, had been torture for Harry. Then six weeks ago, Scorpius had left England to spend some time in France with his mother, and if Harry had hoped that the intervening weeks might have stamped out this inappropriate desire for the young man, well, one look confirmed that that had just been wishful thinking.
He'd missed his frequent visits, his engaging conversation – some nights the two of them would stay up for hours talking about nothing - his pale blue eyes and his smile.

Harry had it bad.

"Yeah, Al says he came back last week. France was obviously too dull for him."

"Harry-!" Hermione appeared at his side and interrupted their conversation. "You're supposed to be mingling," she chided. James sidled away with a smirk leaving Harry listening to Hermione's lecture on how he should make more of an effort for his younger son's birthday, and that it wasn't good for him that he had become such a recluse. Harry's argument that Albus would be going out clubbing afterwards and leaving the oldies behind fell on deaf ears.

She patted his arm and disappeared again in the direction of the barbeque in the middle of her and Ron's garden leaving Harry alone and wishing he were anywhere else, because honestly, he hated parties and more than that, he hated mingling.

He glanced over at where Scorpius was talking animatedly with Albus and some of their mutual friends stifled a heavy sigh. He's eighteen years old, he told himself, stop thinking about him.

Scorpius looked up as Harry repeated his instructions to himself - stop thinking about him - directly at Harry and even as they both nodded politely to one another, something stabbed at Harry's heart and he had to look away. He was a forty-something father of three; he was someone the Wizarding world looked up to, and no matter how much he wanted to – he would not give in to this desire.

-O-

Present Day

"Dad, what's wrong?" Lily appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining area, concern stamped on her pretty face. "It's never a good sign when you start hiding in the kitchen at parties."

Harry pushed back from the door and forced a smile, "Nothing, Lil – just having a bit of thinking time, that's all."

"You've seen Scorpius then?" She moved closer and laid a hand on Harry's arm. "I still think you made a mistake there, Dad. He really-"

"Lily!" Harry couldn't talk about this, not with his nineteen year old daughter – not with anyone. "We are not having this conversation, do you hear me? Three years is a long time."

"That's just it, Dad," Lily pushed in a sad tone. "You never have had the conversation – not with me, Al or anyone. You just let him walk away and you act as though it never happened. I don't understand why you did it. I've never seen you that happy." She leant up and kissed his cheek.

Harry stared at the zigzagging grain in the wood on the table and didn't reply. His throat was thick all of a sudden and he didn't think he would be able to articulate.

"I'm gonna go and mingle," she opened the door. "You know where I am if you want to talk about it."

The door closed softly in her wake and Harry sagged. He never wanted to talk about it. Ever.

-O-

Three Years Ago

Harry only dared to look back over at Scorpius, like a moth to a flame, from beneath his lashes, watching in fascinated horror as Scorpius muttered something to his friends and began to pick his way across the crowded lawn towards Harry.

He'd missed him more than he could ever admit.

Harry swallowed, his feet heavy, as he briefly considered backing away. Scorpius' eyes were fixed on his and when he was stood there in from of Harry he said, "Hello, Harry – how are you?" An innocent enough greeting, Harry knew; something which people exchanged with one another on a daily basis and not something that should send all of a man's blood rushing to their cock.

Scorpius had had his tongue pierced. Merlin.

Suddenly that tongue, which Harry actively spent a lot of time trying not to imagine licking his prick like an ice cream cone in the months since the graduation, had become a hundred times more inviting than it had been previously.

It dawned on Harry then; not only did he have it bad but that he was totally fucked.

"Um, hi Scorpius, it's good to see you, how was France?" he managed. Don't look down, he thought to himself, please don't look down. He was going to make a fool of himself any moment now- If Scorpius saw that Harry was aroused Harry might die from shame. He shifted uncomfortably, pleased when Scorpius didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

"Hot."

Harry's eyes widened. "Er-?"

"France – it was hot. Mother lives on the coast near Cannes. It's gorgeous there, but – I missed home. I-"

Harry couldn't take his eyes off the piercing. When he heard a groan and realised it had come from him, he felt the mortification creeping up his neck. He needed to get out of there – and fast.

"Harry, are you feeling okay? You look a little flushed," Scorpius was staring at him with worried eyes and Harry saw his out.

"Just a bit of a headache; I'd better go and grab a potion for it before it takes hold. I'll – er – see you later, Scorpius?" Harry forced a smile, managed to not look at Scorpius' mouth before he strode away in the direction of Ron and Hermione's house, trying desperately to walk normally and not like a man with an epic erection.

Behind him he heard Draco's voice saying to Scorpius, "What's the matter with Potter?" But he didn't hear the younger Malfoy's reply.

-O-

Present Day

Harry cast another tempus, annoyed to realise it was only a few minutes since he'd cast the previous one. Teddy was talking nineteen to the dozen about the post he had secured at Hogwarts as the Charms professor, and Harry was nodding and making affirmative noises in the right places, trying not to look like he was watching Scorpius and his boyfriend conversing under the tree in the middle of the garden. Both of them were tall willowy blonds, Scorpius fairer with longer hair, the other tanned with golden blond – his hand was on Scorpius' waist, and he was clearly trying to coax his boyfriend into something – Scorpius was flushing pink and shaking his head, his hands going to Jackson's arms and pushing him away.

His head flew up and he looked straight at Harry. There was no use Harry pretending that he hadn't been staring, because when their eyes met for the first time in almost three years; time stopped.

-O-

Three Years Ago

Harry just wanted to go home and crawl into bed, and try desperately not to wank to images of Scorpius Malfoy running his pierced tongue along the underside of his cock and- Why was it so difficult to not think of something – it just made him the images more vivid!

"Dad?"

Albus dragged him out of his reverie, and he looked up at his younger son with a half-dazed smile and a raised eyebrow. He knew that tone. "Al."

"Can Scorp come back to stay tonight? We haven't caught up properly yet and-"

Harry's cock twitched. If Scorpius stayed over then he could wave goodbye to any hope of sleep. Just knowing that the object of his dark fantasies was asleep under his own roof had been disruptive before – but now – Harry was doomed.

Yet, if he said no it would seem churlish; this was Al's home too and Harry had worked hard to ensure his kids knew that. "Of course he can, Al – you know your friends are always welcome."

Al beamed and said, "I'll just go and get him, we'll meet you back at home?"

Harry nodded and once Al was out of range, turned and banged his head against the wall.

-O-

Scorpius stayed at Harry's for the next few days, one day leading seamlessly to the next, and the only way Harry managed to survive the experience was thanks to his stash of Dreamless Sleep – he went to bed early and knocked himself out with the potion, and slept through the night. His late nights of sitting up chatting to Scorpius were a thing of the past.

Despite the extra sleep he still felt permanently exhausted.

When the protagonist in his latest book took on uncannily familiar physical attributes, Harry knew it was time to ascertain when Scorpius planned to leave, because even though Harry didn't see that much of him during the day because he was holing himself away in his study working on his latest manuscript, sharing an evening meal with his youngest son, the object of his guilty desire and a hard-on was getting tiring.

Opportunity struck when Al announced he had to go to a Ministry Recruitment Fair with Lily who was going to meet him there. "That's okay, right, Dad? He's asleep in my room anyway, we – er – were up late last night and I didn't have the heart to wake him this morning.

Scorpius was in Al's bed? Merlin, were they-? Please, no.

Something cold and unpleasant slid around Harry's heart and he closed his eyes, as if that could block out the mental image of his son and Scorpius entwined together… "Is there something you want to tell me, Albus?" he fixed his son with his 'I'll know if you're lying' stare and Al sighed, rolling his eyes.

"No, Dad, I don't know what you mean," he said soberly, and his expression was far too innocent for Harry's liking. "Anyway – see you later!"

The cold feeling in Harry's chest sank to the pit of his stomach. Geez, was he a fucking fool! Fighting these feelings for his son's best friend, fighting how wrong it felt that he even had those thoughts – and now this was made a million times worse if Scorpius was actually his son's lover.

Harry held his breath until he heard Al go through the Floo before heading upstairs to his bedroom, taking the steps two at a time and without knocking, bursting into Al's bedroom. "Scorpius?"

What he found took his breath away. Scorpius Malfoy, naked with both hands raised and rubbing his hair dry with a towel. "Ah, uh – sorry, Scorpius!" Harry spluttered, utterly mesmerised by Scorpius' deceptively slender physique, the taut flat belly with the trail of silver hair that led down to his cock and, dammit, Harry glimpsed it and it was perfect – and fuck if Harry wasn't going to burn in hell for the images that flashed through his mind in that moment. He knew he should be turning away, but he couldn't move.

Scorpius too was speechless, his cheeks flushing red as his wide blue eyes clashed with Harry's. Finally, Harry managed to close his eyes and shake his head, forcing out more words, "I was just wondering, um, how long you are planning on staying for? Not that I mind having you here, but surely Draco wants you home?"

Scorpius still didn't say anything, and in the back of his mind Harry knew that this whole encounter couldn't have been more than seconds – a minute at most – he opened his eyes again and caught Scorpius trying to cover up his – oh Merlin – he was half-hard.

Blue eyes met green again and Harry saw the horror reflected there, but as his tongue snaked out and nervously licked his lips, the light from the window caught the tongue piercing and made it glint, just for a split second. It was like an invitation, causing Harry to step forward – finally able to move and he chose not to retreat – but sweet heaven, Scorpius was hard and he hadn't been when Harry entered the room! That had to mean he was hard for Harry; and that piercing…

Scorpius found his voice, lowering the towel and tossing it to one side. "Like what you see, Harry?" he said with a raised eyebrow and Harry realised his own legs had moved and the distance between them had disappeared. He was standing almost toe to toe with the younger man before he dared a glance upwards into those nervous blue eyes.

He wanted to stretch upwards and kiss those pale lips, to slide his tongue inside and taste Scorpius, to know what it felt like when that ring slid over the surface of his own tongue. In his mind's eye he saw them backing towards the bed, tumbling down upon it, his dark hair against Scorpius' pale silver, his olive skin against the porcelain of Scorpius', entwined and – his brain taunted him with the earlier image of Albus and Scorpius in a similar position.

"Are you and Albus lovers?" he blurted and Scorpius gasped and backed away, obviously having regained the use of his legs.

"No. No, we're not."

Was it Harry's imagination or did Scorpius look disappointed?

Harry felt the relief burning in his belly at the negative answer and he found the strength to back away.

"Right, well, I've got work to be doing, so – er – I'll see you at dinner."

Harry was out of the door and into his bedroom, quickly locking the door and so he could release his cock from its constraints of his jeans, ready to collapse back on his bed and furiously jerk himself off, the naked and hard Scorpius Malfoy indelibly stamped in his mind's eye.

His fingers were on his zip when the door flew open and Scorpius burst in.

-O-

Present Day

Scorpius stopped still, his eyes on Harry, his expression swiftly turning blank. Jackson turned, seeing his boyfriend stall, and Harry flicked his eyes briefly to meet his brown gaze, noting the smirk forming on his face, before he was drawn back to Scorpius.

So beautiful, Harry thought, cursing himself for the weakness. Scorpius' eyes flashed and he pushed past Jackson, weaving his way through the thinning party crowd and out of Harry's field of vision. It was as though the moon had just slid behind a cloud.

No wonder Scorpius was the highest paid male model of the Muggle fashion world. Jackson was a close second, and Harry had it on good authority from Al that the pair of them were hot property as a duo. It was something Harry tried hard not to think about, even though he knew that someone like Jackson was perfect for Scorpius – someone young and vibrant like he was – someone to make his mistakes with, to laugh and have fun with, someone he could make a life with.

Someone who was not an old recluse like Harry, someone who had no idea what went on in the world Scorpius now inhabited. He had studiously avoided any contact with the Muggle magazines that favoured Scorpius, although he had had the shock of his life when he'd seen a billboard featuring him topless in low slung jeans and sticking his tongue out at the camera, teasing Harry with that damned tongue ring that had been his undoing before.

He barely noticed Jackson Smith approaching, a smile plastered across his handsome face, his hand outstretched in greeting. "Hello," he said pleasantly. "You're Harry Potter – I'm Jackson Smith. It's an honour."

Beside him, Teddy snickered and whispered, "Excuse me," before leaving Harry with the lone predicament of having to make small talk with a man he'd much rather hex into oblivion.

Instead, he held out a hand for Jackson to shake and said, "What did you say to upset Scorpius?"

Jackson released Harry's hand and winked, "I was just testing the water to see if he'd mind if I asked you to join us later."

"You – I – what did he say?" Harry's stomach roiled at the thought of sharing Scorpius with anyone. If Scorpius had been his- but he's not yours, is he?

"He said no, but that doesn't mean you and I can't-"

"No, thank you," Harry stepped back, disgusted at the other man for Scorpius' sake. "Do you cheat on him a lot?"

"What he doesn't know-"

"If you'll excuse me," Harry said firmly. "I see someone I'd rather be talking to over there. Give Scorpius my best." He left Jackson mid-sentence and headed over to Albus, knowing that if he didn't that he really would hex the man's balls off.

Harry weaved through the remaining party goers, his mind's eye unhelpfully supplying him with an image of Scorpius from that day three years previous – so young and naïve. It made him sick to think that he now belonged in a world populated with people like Jackson.

-O-

Three Years Ago

"Would it matter if we were? If Al and I were shagging, would you care?" Scorpius demanded, his blue eyes sparkling as he tucked the towel tightly around his slim waist. Harry noticed that he was still erect beneath it, and forced himself to keep his eyes above the waist.

Harry was a poor liar, so he went with the truth. "Yes, it would." He took an unconscious step closer.

"Why?" Lips were licked again, and this time it was Harry's undoing.

In two strides he was there, staring up at Scorpius. "If I told you that it was because I was jealous, what would you say?"

"I'd say you have nothing to be jealous of, that you're the only Potter I want to kiss." So he did. He bent his head, slid a hand around the back of Harry's neck and ran his tongue along the seam of Harry's lips.

Harry's favourite Scorpius fantasy slipped into reality as they kissed, only he was the one being backed towards the bed, and it was Scorpius taking charge, not him, which he absolutely did not mind, especially not when he felt the firm drag of that tongue ring against the head of his cock or later when it was licking circles around his nipples, and certainly not when it was buried inside his hole.

He came hard, and messily, coating Scorpius' pale skin with his come, his breathing heavy and harsh in his ears. He'd been counting to ten, ready to reciprocate on the nine – when Scorpius stopped him in his tracks, long slender fingers scooping up Harry's come and gently turning Harry over onto his front, sliding his coated fingers, two of them, inside Harry.

Harry's recovery time was almost as good as it had been at twenty. As his fingers gripped tightly on the bed sheets, with Scorpius pounding into him, Harry stroked his own cock to his second orgasm, coming explosively as Scorpius expertly grazed over his prostate. Scorpius' orgasm was took another couple of minutes, and he collapsed down on top of Harry before rolling off him and saying, "Wow."

Harry flipped over onto his back, his breathing still ragged. He wanted to feel guilty about what had just happened, but he couldn't. That clearly had not been Scorpius' first time.

"I never thought I had a chance with you," Scorpius said. "I practically moved in here before I went to France and you didn't seem to notice-"

"I noticed alright - you were driving me crazy!" Harry laughed. He rolled onto his side and wrapped an arm over Scorpius' chest, glancing up to find him chewing his lip nervously. "What's wrong?"

"You…wanted me before?"

Harry snorted. "I wanted you from the moment I saw you gracing the stage at your graduation."

"I didn't think of you like this back then," Scorpius said. "It hit me about a week before I left for France – the reason I was always around your house, why I felt odd when you didn't join us for dinner, why I was so angry when Lily told me you'd gone out on a date."

"You were jealous of John?"

Scorpius hissed. "I wanted to hex him to Hades! Al thought it was hilarious and Lily very gently pointed out that perhaps this reaction meant that I had feelings for you."

"Do you?" Harry held his breath.

"I told her she was mad – I was convinced I was just being protective because I was fond of you as my best friend's Dad."

Harry's heart sank. So what had this been - another notch on Scorpius' bedpost?

"I went to France to see Mother because suddenly I just couldn't face you." He huffed and said, "I met someone there. His name was Jean-Luc. He was a muggle working at the hotel complex near mother's apartment, but it didn't last."

Harry closed his eyes, not sure he wanted to hear about Scorpius fucking some hot young French guy.

"But, Harry, it was nice, but something was missing. So I came home, and as soon as I saw you again at your party, I knew."

"What did you know?"

"That Lily was right; I do have feelings for you. That's why Al invited me to stay – Lily and he are in cahoots - he says you deserve someone to want you for you, not for being Harry Potter, and that if anyone can do that, it's me."

Harry felt tears prick his eyes. He hadn't realised that the kids knew how lonely he actually was.

Scorpius burrowed into his side, and as Harry listened to him fall asleep, the guilt finally made its presence known.

-O-

Present Day

Harry poured himself a glass of red wine and settled down on his sofa intent on watching a movie and blocking out the events of the previous evening. Seeing Scorpius again had been a shock. He'd known that Al still kept in touch with him – a friendship that strong couldn't fizzle out – but he'd assumed that with Scorpius' job and celebrity lifestyle that he wouldn't deign to attend a birthday party in someone's back garden.

He should've known better than to make assumptions, but in almost three long years he hadn't as much as crossed paths with his ex-lover.

Scorpius tumbling through the Floo when Harry was two glasses into the bottle almost caused Harry to drop his glass. Scorpius steadied himself and said, "Pour one for me." He stalked over to where Harry was sitting, coming to a halt in front of him; cheeks flushed pink, his hair wild. Taking his wand from his back pocket he conjured a glass and poured himself a measure.

"What are you doing here, Scorpius?"

Scorpius sat down on the coffee table, his knees almost brushing Harry's. "I don't know. I don't know. Last night, seeing you again – Jack said you sent your 'best'." Scorpius snorted, staring miserably down into the red liquid he had yet to take a sip from. "Do you know what your 'best' is, Harry?"

Harry could only stare, mesmerised.

Scorpius raised his head, meeting Harry's eyes. "It's when I'm inside you, or you're inside me, when we're together; when there's nothing but you and me."

Harry shook his head. "No." He thought of Scorpius' career, his fame as a model and his upcoming Muggle clothing line that he had launched off the back of his name; if rumours were correct he was going to make it big time.

Draco had told him about this of course, because Harry always avoided the evidence of Scorpius' successes, but he couldn't avoid Draco – their bi-monthly Saturday afternoon drinks had been a much needed anchor in Harry's life long before he'd ever even considered that he might be attracted to his son.

Draco was a proud father, one who didn't care – as his father before him may have – that his only son was not only gay but making his living in a muggle profession. These last three years Draco's pride in his son had been the one thing keeping Harry going.

It had been almost three years since he'd touched Scorpius; their 'relationship' had only really lasted for little over a month. The want and desire had only far outweighed the guilt for a short while.

-O-

Three Years Ago

Harry had reluctantly left a warm and pliant Scorpius at home in his bed to meet his father at the Leaky for lunch and a few pints, as he had done almost every other Saturday since the war had ended. At first they had met so that Harry could give Draco back his wand, and they had found that now they didn't have to hate each other, they didn't. The friendship that developed had been unusual and their conversations were often colourful and argumentative.

As their families had grown and developed, they hadn't taken any steps to integrate their kids, that had happened by itself with Al and Scorpius when then started Hogwarts. No, this friendship had just been the two of them, united in something neither man was sure of – Harry suspected it was because each had saved the other's life.

"Did I tell you Scorpius got 'spotted' by some Muggle model scouts?" Draco rolled his eyes, but Harry could see the pride lurking beneath the surface. "Apparently he's got a 'unique look' and they've offered him a lot of money to sign up with their agency."

This was news to Harry. He and Scorpius had been 'together' for just over a month now. Scorpius had gone back home to the Manor, but essentially he had been around at Harry's almost every day, sometimes genuinely to spend time with Albus, but most of the time to see Harry.

Both Al and Lily knew about their relationship, but it went no further than that; his youngest two promising they wouldn't tell a soul until Harry wanted them to – not even James – especially not James.

"Oh – when did that happen?" Harry asked Draco, thinking perhaps it had been yesterday when Scorpius had spent the day with his father.

"Just after he got back from France; they want him to spend six months in New York. He told them he would do it – he was so excited when he told me - and the contracts are ready to sign now – my Muggle solicitors have given it the okay – but now he's delaying, says he's met someone and doesn't want to live in New York and be away from him." Draco sighed and ran an exasperated hand through his hair. "He won't tell me who he's seeing, but I know he's smitten. I don't like the sound of someone having such an influence…"

For a brief moment Harry nearly snapped in two from jealousy – Scorpius was seeing someone – until he realised that obviously this was him. He was the one Scorpius was putting everything on hold for.

"Scorpius spends a lot of time with Albus – has either of them said anything?"

"No," Harry lied directly to Draco for the first time in their years of friendship. Another side-effect of this thing he had started with his son.

-O-

Present Day

"Did I ever mean anything to you?" Scorpius leant forward and placed his hands on Harry's knees, and Harry tried not to react to the touch. He felt his heart rate increase and his magic thrum beneath his skin.

"Scorpius – it was never going to work."

Harry looked at him then, his pale blond hair falling in soft waves to his shoulders, his lips full and pink and his light blue eyes shimmering; he was perfect. Merlin, how had he ever given him up?

"Don't lie to me!"

Harry's hands instinctively slid over the top of Scorpius'. "Why didn't you tell me about the modelling scouts offering you a contract?"

"You knew about that? How- My father?"

"I wasn't going to be the reason you put your life on hold."

The evening after his lunch with Draco, Harry had stoically told Scorpius that he was going to New Zealand for a month as research for his latest book – alone – and that nice as this 'affair' was, he didn't think it was worth resuming upon his return.

It had been the first excuse that came into his head, one he had then had to make a reality.

One unplanned month in New Zealand had turned into six weeks, and when he had come back, Scorpius had taken the contract and moved to New York. He was going to be the person he should be, the person he deserved to be, someone who followed his dreams instead of being dragged down by someone else. He was going to have a full and happy life.

The pressure of Scorpius' hands on Harry knees tightened. "Please don't tell me you broke my heart because of some misplaced sense of honour!"

Harry looked away. "You were eighteen years old – I was forty-four! You had a chance to really be something, make your own way in the world. If you'd stayed here with me-"

"I was in love with you, Harry – but that didn't mean I'd lost sight of reality! Give me some credit!" Scorpius sounded incredulous. Harry couldn't help but turn his gaze back to him.

What he saw in Scorpius' face made his breath hitch. Hope.

"I was working up the courage to ask you to come with me. I'd figured you could write anywhere, and I was so certain that you loved me back." He licked his lips nervously, his hands rising up Harry's thighs. "Did you – love me back?"

"Yes."

Scorpius leant forwards, "And now?"

Harry swallowed. "I still do."

"You idiot," Scorpius breathed and climbed onto Harry's lap, both hands on either side of Harry's face and added, "Three years, Harry." He closed the gap and kissed him firmly.

Harry sank into the kiss, it felt like coming home, like he'd found what he'd been looking for all. Scorpius, back in his arms – it was heaven. "What about Jackson?" he managed, pulling back, still angry at the other man for his leery invitation the night before.

Scorpius shrugged. "What about him? I don't care for him that way."

"Oh." Harry stared into the light blue eyes that had haunted his dreams for the last few years and said, "I missed you, Scorp."

Scorpius beamed and kissed Harry again, "I love you; always have, always will." He fixed his eyes on Harry's. "I was eighteen and horribly insecure and when you dumped me I didn't fight back. I should have," Scorpius said, dropping his forehead against Harry's.

"I'm glad you're here." Harry's fingers dug into Scorpius' hip bones. He was never letting him go again. Ever.

"So we're going to do this? No backing out this time, Harry – I won't be back for a third time."

Harry could feel the beating of Scorpius' heart as surely as he could taste the tension in the air. "We're doing this," he replied, feeling Scorpius relax as he spoke. "I can't be without you again."

"Thank Merlin," Scorpius sighed, and kissed Harry again.

The lights began to flicker and the television turned to static; neither man noticed, nor cared.

-O-

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