I didn't think I'd be able to write until my sister went home. When I got some alone time, I was so excited I forgot to check if I had the One Male yet. So here's Blake all by herself for now. Oops.
Blake Armani (18) Younger at time of POV
Knives cut so easily. They slashed through the training dummy like silk. When it was nothing but a pile of ribbons, I moved on to the combat station. One of our assistants, Gilt, was waiting for me. The thick padding he wore was for his own protection. I wished I had some of my own. It made me nervous to fight men. They were so much bigger than me. But I'd have to do it in the Arena, and I was trying to get used to it.
I knew I had to move quickly when fighting a man. I dodged and weaved, only throwing my own punches at the right moments. I fought defensively, watching myself and my opponent and making sure I didn't do anything stupid. Gilt's fist brushed my cheek as I dodged an instant too slow. There was a smear of makeup on his hand when he pulled away, and I hoped he didn't notice it.
How can it be so different? Every day I fought people in the Academy- men and women. I was one of the best. There was no one I couldn't beat or hold my own against. I shouldn't have been afraid of anyone, but I was. There was someone I couldn't imagine defending myself against. He wasn't stronger than me, but there was something that made me powerless. As soon as I saw him, all my strength and bravery drained away. I felt like a child next to him. A scared, powerless child. And it wasn't only that. I felt like I didn't deserve his affection or time. I felt like all I deserved were the punches and kicks he dealt.
Gilt's fist came at me again, and I didn't dodge in time. It was all familiar- the pain of a curled fist against my face, the way my balance tipped and faltered, and the unforgiving smack of the hard floor against my already bruised back. I hated the high-pitched yelp that came from me as the air rushed from my lungs.
You're not good enough and never will be, I thought. They'll always do this. They'll always be able to hit you, and you deserve it.
I got back up and stood in fighting position in front of Gilt with blood flowing from my nose. The thoughts didn't stop, and I couldn't control that. I could control how I dealt with them, and I could control my actions. I wasn't giving up. No matter how much it hurt, or how much I wanted to cry and run away when I saw my partner was a man, I was going to keep going. Maybe I was right and I wouldn't ever be good enough. That didn't mean I was going to stop trying.
Blake is slim and tall with dark brown back-length hair. She is pale with a heart-shaped face and dark blue eyes.
