Summary: As Death Eater Severus Snape ascends the front steps clutching an owl post, his only thought was: what news could Lily Potter have that is so important that she would risk her life to send for me? And will I have to tell her my secret?

Rating: M for adult themes, sexual content, and language

Parings: Snape/Lily, brief James/OC

Genre: Romance/Drama/Tragedy

Timeframe: 1977-1982 (mainly First Wizarding War) plus epilogue

Author's Note: This is Severus and Lily's story. Canon compliant with few exceptions. Warnings: Fluffy in spots; scenes of a sexual nature; James is not a particularly nice guy.

My first ever fanfic (or fiction for that matter). Please review if you feel led. I appreciate being able to share my story with you!

Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter are the express property of J. K. Rowling (including "Life isn't fair."). I adore these characters, but I don't own them.


Chapter One: Summons

Wednesday, October 31, 1979 10:52 pm

Severus Snape Apparated down the street from where he was expected, appearing in the dark backyard of a new home on a nameless suburban cul-de-sac with a muffled CRACK. He suppressed a shiver and narrowed his eyes to inspect the lonely street in the dim light. Caution bred into him during his Death Eater training, now second nature, compelled him to raise his wand; after a moment, that same training assured him that the street was secure enough to lower it. He turned towards his destination, his long, authoritative strides hungrily chewing up the sidewalk.

The neighbourhood was everything that Spinner's End was not: homes dressed in cheery yellow paint with white trim, complete with tidy, currently-empty flower boxes, matching white picket fences, and lace curtains peeking through spotless glass. Lovely. Just…lovely.

Sickened, he hid his sneer and steeled his resolve. He had no idea why Lily had summoned him, only that he had no choice but to come. When it came to Lily, he never had had much choice. Reason pleaded with him to decline, but he had been powerless to fight a simple desire to see her. Sure, he could be walking headlong into a trap, but if he could lose himself in her emerald eyes once more before death or Azkaban, it would make the choice that he made worthwhile.

Severus,

I need to see you. Would you stop by my house tomorrow night, if you can? I've written my address below.

Lily

He ascended the few wooden stairs to a cozy front porch clutching her owl post as if it were the ticket that assured him entry, and then knocked. This is absurd. What am I, a Muggle?

Lily answered the door immediately. "Severus," she said, by way of greeting, opening the door for him to step inside.

And there she was, dressed in a simple white shirt and denims. Snape stared at a point past her shoulder. "Lily," he echoed.

"Thank you for coming. Please, come in and sit down," Lily offered.

He glanced at her. It had been years since he had laid his eyes on her. Snape was taken by her beauty anew, but it was her ashen skin, her thin, drawn mouth, and the dark circles under her lovely eyes that gave him pause. It seemed as though sadness itself had enveloped her and settled in her features permanently. Lily appeared fragile and broken in a way Snape had never witnessed before, not even when Daniel Evans had died.

"I prefer to stand," Snape responded, a little more stiffly than he had intended. Lily folded herself into a soft armchair across from a ghastly flowered couch.

"I need to talk to you," she said, glancing at him furtively. She turned her face away, gazing out of the window at the back of the room which opened to the backyard beyond, and said nothing more. A solitary, rebellious tear ran down her face, unbidden.

He waited.

Torture. Her plan is to torture me to death. If nothing else, the silence was going to kill him, surely.

Still looking away, she finally said, "I walked in on James shagging Mary Macdonald. Here. It was here, in this room," adding the unnecessary detail.

Dumbfounded, Snape growled out a furious, "Filthy swine!" under his breath, and bit back the other words that threatened to explode from him. That son of a bitch. Oh the wounds, the gloriously painful wounds he would inflict on that prick when the opportunity arose. He may have failed to protect her, but he would not fail in this.

He dropped into the offending sofa opposite her, his eyes dark and wild, rage tearing at his features, as he struggled for control. "Why tell me?"

Lily absently fiddled a slight indentation on the third finger of her left hand where a gold band resided until very recently. Still staring out the back window, she replied in the hollow tone of someone with no more tears left to shed. "I filed for divorce. It wasn't the first time for him, nor even the second. But that's not why I asked you to come."

Again, silence. And again, Snape waited.

She looked back at him, her green eyes flint. "I wanted….I needed…to say that I'm sorry. You were right about James. You were always right. And…I'm sorry."

Snape was unsure how to respond—he was not even certain what Lily was apologizing for. This was not her doing. Unable to remain still, he rose and approached the window Lily had been staring out of, clasping his hands behind his back. The Potter's backyard was mostly in shadow. The waning moon had begun to rise, casting a soft glow on the few remaining leaves on the trees towards the far fence.

"Is there anythin' I can do? Anythin'?"

The words that flew from his lips sounded desperate, and had been spoken before he had time to consider what he was offering. Wait. For a split second, Snape thought Lily might have invited him here to ask him to kill James Potter. Nothing would please Snape more. He suppressed the thought. No. Even as broken as she appears to be, Lily would never be desperate enough to ask that.

A slight smile touched her lips, as it always did when his accent slipped out.

"There is one thing, Sev." Pause. "Forgive me."

The words came as a command rather than a request and seemed to Snape as shocking as the rest. At the sound of his nickname, Snape turned to regard Lily over his shoulder as she met his eyes. He crossed the space between them in a single stride and in the same moment, she stood.

All hesitation gone, he wrapped his arms around her as she buried her head into his chest, his embrace supporting her frail frame. "Oh, Lily..." At the sound of his deep, gentle voice, he felt her descend into heart wrenching dry sobs, her resolve to stay as stoic as Snape utterly gone.