I don't think anyone will check out this story before Notes From A Scientist, but if you're one of those unlucky few, please read ch. 1-24 of that first otherwise this will make no sense whatsoever. Read it yet? Good. Time for week one.


"Carlito, not that I'm not glad to hear from you, but why are you calling so early in the morning? Don't you have your job to go to?"

"That's why I'm calling, Mamá. Next week is the meeting with the board – the one where I hafta go and ask for more funding – and I'm coming to Eureka early. Today, actually."

"Excellent! You're coming home, right?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'll have time to visit."

"No – I mean you're going to stay at home while you're in Eureka."

"Oh. I'm just staying in town for a week or so. I can just rent a hotel ro –"

"Nonsense! You're coming home. And don't give me any of that talk about being a burden. You're mi hijo – you're never a burden. Not to mention you'll be giving a lonely old woman some company."

"You? Old?"

"Flattery'll get you nowhere. Call me when you get close, okay?"

"I will, Mamá. Te amo."

"Te amo."

XxXx

"Dr. Munoz."

"Hey, Fearless Leader, it's Lucy. Did you know all Hell was gonna break loose today or was your leaving before this town went nutso a complete coincidence? 'Cause I wouldn't blame you if it was the former."

"No, I had no idea. …Why, what's going on?"

"Starting about an hour after you left, everyone's been telling the truth. You ask anyone a question and they can't lie to you. Even in a place as far from normal as possible, this isn't a good thing. Random people are slapping each other, arguing, getting together, etc. It's a madhouse here."

"Wow. Any ideas as to why this is happening?"

"Not yet. We're also not sure if your boyfriend's immune or not – he's acting the same as always."

"How many times to I have to tell you he's not my boyfriend?"

"As many as there are drops of water in de Nile."

"Lucy –"

"Gotta go! Think Sam's trying to get my attention. Talk to you later, Carlos!"

XxXx

"I'm almost to Eureka, Mamá. The director's gonna drop off Dr. Vorpal first and then take me home. Should be there in twenty minutes."

"That's nice of him. I'll see you soon, but before I forget – when's your boyfriend coming up?"

"See you – wait, what? I don't have a boyfriend."

"What about – what was his name? – that radio announcer that always talks about you? It seemed like you really admired him."

"His name's Cecil. And while he is a…nice guy, he isn't my boyfriend."

"Not yet."

"Mamá!"

"I just want mi hijos to be as happy as they can possibly be, and the way you talk about this Cecil, well, it seems like he'd make you happy. You certainly couldn't stop smiling at Christmas when you were talking about him."

"Yeah, and Tory couldn't stop teasing me about it. I'll see you soon. Te amo."

"I can't wait to see you, Carlito. Te amo."

XxXx

"Dr. Green."

"Hey Lucy, it's Carlos. Just wanted to let you know that the meeting with the board's over."

"You told 'em we want to stay, right?"

"Of course. Even though I'm not exactly sure why we do."

"'Cause it's an interesting place, we've barely scratched the surface of what we can learn, and because our leader – that's you by the way – has an enormous crush on the local radio broadcaster."

"Okay, you have some good points."

"Thank y – Wait, what did you just say?"

"…That you have some good points. Why?"

"One of my points is that you have a crush on Cecil and you didn't deny it. You heard that one, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"So you're admitting you have a crush on him?"

"Yeah."

"You, Dr. Carlos Munoz, have a crush on Night Vale's main radio broadcaster, Cecil Baldwin."

"Yes, Lucy. Anything else you'd like to ask about my love life or are you done?"

"Think I'm done. There's no point in asking if you're dating him yet because if that were true, Cecil wouldn't shut up about it. He spent most of one broadcast talking about how you had finally called him on his home phone."

"Does this mean you'll stop calling him my boyfriend?"

"Nope. Just 'cause he isn't your boyfriend doesn't mean I can't tease you about how you'd want him to be."

"Didn't think so. Look, I should probably go. Director Deacon's gonna stop by soon to show me to the lab I'm gonna use while I'm here."

"Can't take a mini vacation, huh? Talk to you later, Carlos."

"Bye."