"You may begin," Professor Severus Snape, dreaded Potions Master at Hogwarts sneered. "But Professor, where are the directions?" Harry Potter asked, staring at the empty space that was usually the board. "On the board," Snape leered. "But where is the board?" "At the front of the classroom as always," Snape sighed.

"15 points from Gryffindor for wasting my time and being a dunderhead," Snape added. Harry frowned. "But sir, the board really is gone," Draco Malfoy pointed out. "Oh, so it is! 10 points to Slytherin for cleverness," Snape said conversationally.

Harry frowned. "Where is the board, sir?" "Oh, I supposed it was taken by the ants," Snape said. "The WHAT?!" Harry growled. "The ants. I was grading essays and then the ants came and carried away the board, leaving dozens of lemon drops on my desk."

"But sir, how could the ants have carried away the board? I know that ants can carry several times their body weight, but the board was stuck on the wall by magic! And even ants can't carry a board that heavy! And they don't leave lemon drops."

"Excellent reasoning, Mr. Potter. 30 points to Slytherin." Harry's mouth dropped open. "Sir, I'm not in Slytherin!" "I am aware of that, Potter," Snape snarled. "But you just awarded points to Slytherin!" "I know." "You gave my points to the wrong house! I'm in Gryffindor!"

Snape sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's not my fault that you aren't in Slytherin, Potter," he said exasperatedly. "And the board was actually taken away by hundreds of gummy bears who made the essays sing."

"Gummy bears are a Muggle candy! They can't walk, nor can essays sing! This is a rubbish story!" Harry snapped angrily. Snape didn't reply, but merely glanced at the clock. The whole period had gone by, and the bell was due to ring any minute now. "Oh, Potter, you've wasted the whole class period! Detention with me at 8:00 tonight and 30 points from Gryffindor."

"WHAT!? You've lost your mind," Harry spat, and stalked out of the Potions classroom.