A/N: This gave me a very good reason to watch monkey videos for half a day
Mission: Liberty
SUNDAY
Eagle was bored—a statement that, if said with the proper conviction, sent grown men running for the hills. Not that there was much to run towards since they were in cold, miserable Brecon Beacons for a refresher course, which Eagle swore that K-Unit didn't need. They were the best damn unit in the SAS—or at least, that's what Wolf always barked at them when they were ready to collapse on the mud and wallow with self-pity.
It was a Sunday, which meant that there wasn't any mandatory training, but since Eagle barely had a life outside the SAS (his brothers—K-Unit—faced similar problems), he eagerly offered the idea of running a two-mile trail, which Wolf eagerly snatched up. He was trying to round up as many soldiers as he could to join them.
Hare, the newest member of K-Unit, moaned as he laced up his boots. Evidently, he was still nursing bruises from the intense session in the Killing House yesterday.
"I hate you for this," he grumbled.
Eagle grinned at the man, "Hush, bunny, it's why we're the best!"
Snake snorted disdainfully, "Sorry, Eagle, but I'm siding with Hare on this one."
Eagle huffed, marching out of their hut. Wolf was already outside, scowling darkly at a unit that had clearly rejected his proposal.
"No luck?"
Wolf shook his head, the scowl never leaving his face.
"Oh well," Eagle mused. "It's just going to be us, then—just like the old times."
It took them twenty more minutes to wait for Snake and Hare, who both shouted at Wolf that, since it was technically their day off, they didn't have to listen to his orders and that he should be grateful they were coming at all. It took another twenty minutes to reach the dreaded trail, where they met their first obstacle.
"Am I hallucinating?" Eagle asked, rubbing his eyes for good measure until black spots appeared in his vision. He looked closer at the gray boulder on the side of the path. It was a familiar landmark that marked the beginning of the trail. The flat top had words inscribed in it—Eagle had never read it—but instead of the bare surface, there was something small and fluffy lounging on top of the rock, soaking in the sun (which was conveniently hiding behind dark, gray clouds).
Wolf made a noise like he was choking, "Is that a monkey?"
Dark fur covered the monkey from the top of its head to its long, coiled tail. Lighter, white fur covered its face and shoulders, making it easy to see the monkey's shining, innocent eyes.
"Is that a…" Eagle trailed off, approaching the monkey very slowly. He ignored the warnings from his unit-mates as he held out a hand to the monkey, "A capuchin monkey? What are you doing out here by yourself, monkey?"
"Aren't they, like," Hare took a step closer when he realized the monkey wasn't about to jump onto them and maul them, "not from here?"
"South America," Eagle replied as the monkey curiously grabbed onto his hand. He chuckled when the monkey pulled him closer, investigating the sleeves of his shirt for something.
The unit stared at him suspiciously.
"You seem to know a lot about this," Snake drew out the words, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow. Without knowing it, he was pulling of a perfect Wolf expression.
Eagle grunted as the monkey decided to jump onto his shoulders, chattering happily into his ear, "What can I say?" he spread his arms and grinned, "I'm a fountain of knowledge."
The rest of K-Unit snorted in perfect unison.
The monkey hooted in protest.
MONDAY
"What about this?" Eagle held out a green banana to the monkey across from him. The monkey sniffed at it curiously, bringing it closer to his face with its paws before slapping it away with a sharp screech. It hit the ground with a dull thump. Eagle stared down at the green banana, "Okay, not that apparently."
"Eagle, I really think that you should turn the monkey in," Snake, ever the voice of reason, said, offering the monkey his scrambled eggs. The monkey slapped the plate out of Snake's hands. He sighed, wiping traces of scrambled eggs off of his hands, "He's a safety hazard. He already stole one of Wolf's pocket knives this morning. What happens if he figures out how to work a gun?"
Eagle bristled, facing Snake in righteous indignation, "I won't let him. I'm keeping a close eye on him."
"Uh-huh," Snake deadpanned, clearly unconvinced. "So where did the little imp go?"
Eagle whirled around, eyes searching for the little monkey, who was just sitting across from him. There was no fuzzy creature blinking up at him with innocent eyes—only a small pile of scrambled eggs and an empty up of water that had been knocked over.
"Oh shit," Eagle barely managed to get out before someone shouted in alarm.
Everyone stood at once as metal pots and pans clanged together and a disheveled cook raced out, yelling, "He has all the onions!"
"Oh no, no, no," Eagle tugged Snake with him as he darted to the front of the room into the kitchen.
If Eagle had to describe an apocalyptic scene, he would have described the half-charred pots and pans strewn all over the floor. A fire was burning, unattended, at the stove, and it was slowly spreading from one hand towel to another. Half-cooked food splattered all across the walls and the floor, and amidst all that, distinct paw prints that lead directly to the culprit. The monkey was holding a whole onion bulb. Pieces of it were missing in monkey-bite sized chunks.
Snake was the first one to react. He snatched the fire extinguisher from the entrance of the kitchen and with practiced ease, sprayed the white foam and put out the flames. He turned to Eagle, his hands on his hips in a motherly fashion, "You were saying?"
TUESDAY
"So, I was thinking," Eagle said as he wrung the water out of the mop, "the monkey needs a name."
The monkey was currently locked up in the K-Unit hut (as specified by the Sergeant) while they waited for a professional to come handle it. K-Unit, however, wasn't as lucky as the fuzzy creature. The Sergeant was (obviously) furious at the commotion and tasked K-Unit with cleaning it up, which wasn't an easy task, considering the amount of damage that the monkey had done.
"The monkey is going to be gone by tomorrow, if I have any say about it," Wolf grumbled from his spot by the sink, washing the dishes. He was surprisingly good at scrubbing the dishes so forcefully that Eagle thought each one might shatter into a million pieces.
Eagle pouted, slapping the wet mop onto the tiles, "What about the name 'Monkey'? It suits him."
Hare laughed, "That's original."
"There's already a Monkey in G-Unit," Snake said, drying and stacking up plates.
Wolf grunted unhappily, "Don't encourage him."
"I know!" Eagle dropped his mop in excitement, "How about… Polly? Like the parrot?"
"No!"
WEDNESDAY
"Harry," Eagle tried. There was no reaction from the monkey. "Kelp, cake, Kelpcake! Ice cream, kale?"
The monkey stared at him unblinkingly.
"Joe, Bob," Eagle tried.
Snake threw a magazine at him, "Those are horrible names!"
"Dog, cat, mouse?"
Wolf sighed loudly from his bunk, "Liberty."
At the name, the monkey chattered happily, jumping off of Eagle's bunk and leaping across the room, landing on Wolf's stomach. He grunted, scowling at Liberty, who grabbed the unit leader's left hand.
"Aww, look, Liberty likes you!"
THURSDAY
"Where's the monkey?"
The harsh voice jarred Eagle out of the sleepy daze he was in. Wolf towered over him, a scowl fixed on his face.
Eagle groaned, "I thought he fell asleep with you."
"Well, he's not here," Wolf told him, moving on to shake Hare awake. "He's not in the hut."
Eagle was awake instantly, "Oh crap. Where is he?" He rolled out of his bed and marched to the front door, his bare feet slapping the wooden floor. Poking his head out of the hut, he couldn't discern any objects from each other, never mind a monkey. It was pitch-black outside.
"No more chores," Hare moaned, grabbing his boots. "We have to find him before he destroys something else."
As if on cue, the first of the alarmed shouting reached Eagle's ears.
"It's coming from the Killing House," Eagle dove for his socks and boots, lacing them up quicker than he had ever done. The rest of K-Unit was up and ready to go when Eagle streaked out of the hut and towards the Killing House.
Eagle skidded to a halt. There was no way he could enter the Killing House without messing up some unit's evaluations, but judging by the sounds that the unit was making, it was probably safe to say that they were already failing.
Eagle headed to the entrance of the Killing House with much less determination.
The Sergeant seemed to be waiting for him there, his foot tapping impatiently against the damp grass and a hard look set on his face.
Eagle balked, "Sir?"
"K-Unit," the Sergeant's eyes roamed over the forms of the still-sleepy soldiers, from their tussled hair to their improperly laced boots. "Come with me."
Eagle gulped as the Sergeant turned, marching to the side of the Killing House. There was a little building, attached to the Killing House where supervising officers watched the soldiers complete their mission. If the Sergeant was asking them to watch that certainly was not good.
Wolf strode past Eagle's frozen frame. Snake nudged Eagle forward, and somehow, he began to trail after his unit leader, dread pooling at the pit of his stomach.
"In," the Sergeant commanded, holding open the door.
The monitor room was well lit. Eagle had to blink a few times to adjust to the harsh light. His eyes were instantly drawn to the monitors, each one showing a different angle of the Killing House.
The soldiers were all equipped with night vision goggles, which made it impossible to identify who was inside. It was, however, easy to see that they were caught off guard by the small object darting around the Killing House, setting off booby traps and colliding with the soldiers' legs.
"Sit," the Sergeant was no longer scowling. Instead, he was smiling, which was about a thousand times worse. He held out a bag of popcorn, "Enjoy the show."
When K-Unit stood there, frozen, unsure if they had heard the Sergeant correctly, he shrugged, handing the bag to another man, half hidden in the corner of the room. The man took the bag, tossing a handful in his mouth, laughing silently as he observed the events occurring on the screen.
"What's going on?" Eagle asked slowly, unnerved by the amount of mirth shown on the Sergeant's face. "Are we in some kind of trouble?"
The Sergeant chuckled, "Well, yes—you're going to have to clean up the Killing House"—no one dared to groan in dismay—"but, well, I'll let you explain it."
The man in the corner waved a hand, "Later, later, I want to see who'll trigger the—"
Eagle had been too busy staring at the blond-haired man, trying to place why he looked so familiar, to realize that the unit inside the Killing House was advancing to the other exit. In their panic, the unit had abandoned the mission and had forgotten that the place was filled with traps—just like the tripwire that someone just hit.
Instantly, water fell from the ceiling, splashing all four of them. Judging by the cackling from the corner of the room, that one wasn't part of the original Killing House exercise.
Still laughing, the man stood, crossed the little monitor room, and poked his head out the doorway, whistling sharply. Instantly, a familiar Liberty-shaped object scurried out of the Killing House, leaping onto the man's arm and making its way around his neck.
The man closed the door and turned around with a grin, "I heard from the Sergeant here that you've met Onion."
Liberty—or rather, Onion—chattered happily.
"Onion?" Eagle asked incredulously, "His name is Liberty."
"Um," the man glanced down at the tail that tickled the base of his throat as Onion hooted in agreement. "Her name is Onion, and you," he booped the monkey's nose with a finger, "weren't supposed to give away the mission name."
Onion gave the man a look.
"Sergeant Morrison thinks I should explain why I set Onion loose on the camp, but personally—"
"—I don't give a damn about what Jones has to say. My men would never betray any state secrets!"
The man rolled his eyes, "Onion isn't here to stay unfortunately. She's here as a training exercise. Apparently, I need an animal sidekick now."
The monkey reached down expertly and plucked a round onion bulb from the man's pocket.
"But…" Eagle stared at the monkey, betrayal welling up, oddly enough.
Onion offered her onion to him.
"Don't worry," the man grinned at him. "We'll be here for a few more days until our next mission, which—Onion, the case files, please?"
Onion dropped the onion into Eagle's outstretched hand before leaping off her owner's shoulders and snatching papers from the console. She handed it to the man before climbing back to her spot on his shoulders.
"I believe we'll get to know each other quite well in the next four months," the man handed each one of them a manila folder. Eagle opened it to the first page, frowning as he read the first few words.
'TOP SECRET'
Beneath that, 'Mission: Liberty—Argentina'
"So," the man drew out the word, "I take it by your stunned silence that you don't know this is a joint SIS/SAS mission?"
The only response was Wolf's slight gurgle of surprise.
A/N: Wow, okay that was a really hard prompt—kudos to everyone who attempted it. If you didn't know, that was the response to the prompt for SpyFest Week One: liberty, onion, monkey. Check out the other submissions or our forum for more details!
