However, there has always been one major threat to the Deviants living on this paradise, the banished Daedric prince of Randomness (random god). Devianta was once governed by the imperial legion in Tamriel, but due to tectonic activity, it was too difficult to reach the land, being so far away. But the people living on the land started to worship their own beliefs, one problem being Daedric worship, which is illegal. This Daedric Prince was banished, forgotten and hated. He is called Randomicous, and he wants to take the Energy well and wish for eternal darkness and evil upon the land. Randomicous leads the Random Nations, an empire of Daedric worshippers, all from the random god's realm. But, Randomicous can be stopped...
"...For centuries, we've waited for this moment, and soon, we will begin..." Random muttered, as he sat on his throne, watching devianta through a portal. "This land is way too dull, why do no mortals summon me anymore?"
He asked, yawning, "It would most likely be because it is illegal to worship the Daedra, your randomness." Victor, Random's chamberlain replied, sighing with a dull look on his face, bored as hell.
"Hello, look at that child, who is he?" Random sat up, and watched closely through the portal at the teenager who was walking in a forest.
"...I am afraid I do not know, my lord." Victor mumbled, stretching.
"Hmm... let's make things a little spicy shall we? Victor, go down there and spread randomness." Random ordered, standing up with an evil look on his face. "...Sigh, yes sir."
Victor appeared in the dark, gloomy forest, and hid behind a bush, watching the teen slowly, like a hawk watching it's prey. The boy had smooth, light brown hair, which glowed in the dark forest, and piercing blue eyes, which were like sapphires. "This one looks a little dodgy... he's not worth being random... is he?" Victor mumbled to himself, thinking of what spell to cast at him, "I must honor my lord somehow... but... I can't harm the child, he's only a boy. Maybe I could... shock him..." Then, the boy looked up at a branch, and saw a blue and green parrot, with odd eyes,
"My, my, those eyes are as round as golf balls! I suppose, living in Randomania, I have seen worse, but I didn't expect to see something like that in the normal world." Victor chuckled, then a voice whispered in Victor's bauld head,
"Make that parrot speak, make it the size of a six year old human! Honor me Victor! I called you victor because you are victorious, prove to me that I'm right! Because... I might get bored..." Victor hesitated to cast the spell at the cute but unusual parrot, but then, he felt a mysterious force push the spell out of his hand. The spell made the parrot drop out of the tree, a high-pitched voice screeched, "HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIII-"
"Whoa!" The boy exclaimed, falling backwards. The boy appoached the parrot, which was glowing green, "...Uhh... what the hell is going on here?" He thought to himself, confused and scared. Then the bird started growing rapidly, faster and faster, until stopping at the size of a six year-old boy, like Victor and Random intended. The boy remained speechless, he couldn't believe his eyes, what he just saw was the most random thing that has ever occured in his life.
"...Is it dead?" He asked himself,
"No I'm not bloody dead!" A high-pitched voice snapped, "And what sort of a question is that, is it dead? Dead?! Haven't you seen the bloody news?! What are you, a troll?!" The boy thought he was dreaming, he rubbed his eyes and ears, trying to see if he wasn't going mad,
"Did you just... talk?" He asked the parrot, which was still lying on the ground in the mud, "Well done cloth-ears! I'm alive, and I can speak a lot better than you can, oh you're a human! I thought you were a troll, bloody things never stop criticising me... you're not the trololol man are you?" The parrot squarked, getting up off the ground, and staring the boy in the face,
"N-no..."
"Then... do you have a name sonny?" The creature asked, blinking at the boy with innocent eyes,
"...N-nathan... what are you?" Nathan asked, scratching his head,
"Name's bruno, I'm a parrot you idiot. Nice to meet you and all, now can we please get out of this forest?! I've been here ever since I hatched, and I know it off by heart." Bruno exclaimed, jumping next to Nathan's blue jeans,
"...uh, that's the problem, I can't actually get out of here, I'm kinda lost..." Nathan mumbled, looking down at Bruno,
"Ha! Lost?! I thought humans were supposed to be the 'ulimate creatures' or something, then again, that's what the albino llama told me, and to be honest... I don't really like that guy... Tell ya what Nath, if I get us outta here, can I hang about with ya? I got no where to stay, and I'm sick of this place." Bruno groaned, shivering in the cold. "Sure... are you sure you know your way around?" Nathan asked, getting his map out. Bruno snatched the map off Nathan, and ate it, Nath was shocked,
"Don't look at me like that, it's intimidating! I eat paper, and besides, you don't need that stupid white thing, not if you wanna be badass like me! I know where we're going, you wanna get back to New Pastel don't you? That's that little town... been there too many times. RIGHT, follow me." Bruno waddled off, with Nathan following him.
Nathan gave Bruno a strange, confused look all the way,
"I'm tellin' ya Nath, I'll pluck those eyes out if I have to, stop staring at me and keep wal- OW!" Bruno crashed into a tree. Nathan bursted out laughing, "
You, badass?! You can't even avoid walking into trees!"
"...Shutup you little..." Bruno grumbled, pulling his beak out of the tree bark.
"Victor, what am I missing?" Random asked,
"The bird just walked into a tree."
"And the boy?"
"...He's just following the bird, and staring at it. Sir I think it's utterly pointless, this boy has no sense of humour, and this bird isn't even classed as random, just stupid and idiotic." Victor moaned,
"I'll be the judge of that." Random replied
"But-"
"Who's the Daedric prince, Victor?" Random asked.
Bruno was definitely lost, although he didn't show it, Nath could tell. The expression on Bruno's blue face was just hilarious to look at, especially with those big googley eyes. "You're lost aren't you? I thought you said you knew this place off by heart!" Nath smiled, waiting for Bruno to say yes, "...Nope, I'm just warming my little talons up, they get cold in this wintery weather you know! At least you have shoes! Come to think of it... I might wear some shoes..." Nath just stopped listening to Bruno waffling on with himself, and they reached the end of the forest. In front of them stood a huge hill. "Oh my God, you're kidding me." Nath moaned, "Do we have to climb that?!" "...Yeah, unless you want to go for a swim in the river... for some reason. Look, this is the ONLY way to New Pastel, so shutup and climb it while I get my suitcase." Bruno tweeted, heading a different path. "You went all this way just to get your suitcase?!"
"Yeah..." Bruno whispered, slowly, "that's exactly what I'm here for..."
The two split ways, Nathan heading up the hill, while Bruno in actual fact took a pathway which went around the hill, cheating. Nathan reached the top of the hill, and was utterly exhausted. He collapsed on the grass, gasping for breath. He opened his eyes, and saw Bruno staring down at him, "WHOAAAAA!" The two screamed in unison, startling one another. "How did you get up the hill?! I never saw you climb it! And where's your suitcacse?!" Nathan shouted, sitting up. "Nevermind about that, we should get moving..." Bruno said with a quick pace, "Why? What's happened?" Nathan asked, in a serious tone, "...I've just heard that my friends have been turned into bananas by the Random Nations..." "Who?!" Nathan questioned, picking grass. "...You obviously DON'T watch the news... a few years ago, a group of Daedra worshippers in strange armor came out of a portal and started turning people and things into random things, I saw my 900 year old granny get turned into a shoe right before my eyes! They say when you get turned into something like that by them, you're teleported to Randomania... homeworld of the Random Nations in the planes of oblivion."
"So you think these guys are back?" Nath asked, "Yeah, and we've got to get to your town now! At least there we have somewhere to hide, I'll tell you the full story when we get to your place! Now let's get going!" Bruno waddled off again, with Nathan following behind.
