Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.
There are two kinds of secrets.
The ones we keep from others
And the ones we keep from ourselves.
- unknown
I guess you could say that I was good at keeping secrets. You could say that I've been keeping them all my life, from myself and from others, but I know I can't tell anyone, ever.
It made me sick. The touching, the kissing, the feel of her hot hands as her fingertips slipped under my shirt, I loved it.
Witch made me sick.
Here in the woods was our favorite place to meet. Right in my parents meadow, vile isn't it? Sin apparently. But I couldn't get enough.
So here we are. I was on top of her, touching, kissing, and sucking any free skin we could find. It was quickly getting heated, I leaned back.
"Renesmee," Leah wined. She moved her self so that I sat on her hips and her head lay on the soft grass. I loved the way her short black hair tangled into the grass below, how the angles and curves in her face make her look stunning. She was beautiful.
"Leah," I teased. Not looking at her I pushed my fingers up her shirt. I loved the way her hot russet skin felt under mine.
Leah groaned taking my hands and winding them together with her own. "You're thinking about him again are you? Just because Jacob is your imprint does not mean you have to love him, or whatever. And look, there not going to find out."
I rolled my eyes. "How would you know? And I do love him. Anyway, he keeps calling. I have to get back to the house before someone notices I'm gone."
Leah scrunched up her nose and smiled. I liked that. Leah only smiles when she was around me.
"Stupid fucking vamps." She said.
"I know. They would never understand." I told her. I sighed.
Now it was Leah's turn to roll her eyes at me. "Understand what? About you and me? God, Ren, it's not like you've ever tried to explain to them. I bet old man Eddie would say 'Of course I fucking love you my sweet little half-vampire/half-human baby dyke.' You really need to get out of that closet. Cause' then we could do more or this…"
She leaned in and kissed me once pressing her lips to mine for one sweet second.
"And this…"
I moaned.
Wow this got heated quick, I thought.
I tried pushed off her but she pulled me back on top of her, smashing our lips together a last time.
"I love you," she whispered as I pulled away.
. . .
"Dad. Mom. I'm home." I called from the living room of our small cottage.
"Renesmee?" My mothers tinkling voice called from up stairs.
There was a pause and then she was next to me. Rubbing her cold hands lovingly across my shoulders.
"I'm so glad you're home." My mother said softly as she steered me towards the couch. My father appeared too. In his slacks and white button down and loafers, wrapping an arm around my mothers waist as I sat down.
"Um, why?" I said slowly. My eyes darted between the two of them. They can't possibly know…Can they?
Surprisingly, I didn't have any trouble hiding anything from my mind reading father. When I was little, I discovered that I could hide meaningless things from my father with a shield almost like my mothers. I practiced a lot, and now I could keep stuff from him almost all the time. The only thing was, is that, whenever I put the shield up in my mind, it's like the thoughts have to get out someway but I didn't know how to let that happen.
So at first the pressure would start building, and building like a dam until my shield would break and everything would tumble out. But, with a little more practicing, I also learned that I could escape the pressure by letting out my thoughts with my hands.
My other gift—showing people my thoughts if I touch them—became open whenever I put my shield up. So if I touched them they could here anything and everything, uncencored.
"Because, we have to get ready."
I looked at my father questionly. "For what?" I asked.
My mother cut in. "Your grandma is throwing a little dinner party for the pack."
I sunk back into the couch and breathing a sigh of relief. I then rolled my eyes, unimpressed. "Why?"
Mother shrugged. "Just because the need it. Everyone will be invited, Emily, Sam, Jacob." My mother paused and chuckled. "Even Leah."
Take back sigh of relief.
"Leah?" I squeaked loudly.
Dad looked at me weirdly. Her leaned forward and took my gloved hand. I kind of felt like Rogue from X-men wearing them, it was kind of cool.
"Don't worry. I know Leah comes off as a kind of scary kind of person, but, I think that she has cooled down over the years, and, if you two really knew each other, then you could be great friends."
His voice tried to sound reassuring, but I still sat there in shock. I mean, I had no idea this party was coming, and, to think that a few minutes ago I had been nibbling her, feeling her up in my parents meadow, was more than I could handle.
And see her all dressed up at a party? In her tight red dress that I knew would fit her so well? I don't know what I would do. And I don't want to find out.
Still a little dazed, my mom now grabbed my hand. "If you want, I could call Jacob. He could talk to Leah about the party. Who knows, she might not even come."
Oh, I know she was coming. Last week even, she was talking to me about over coming to terms with my newfound gayness. She made it her personal mission to expose me to the rest of the world. To show the girl they don't even know off. And this party would be the best way to do that. I couldn't do it. I was scared.
"I can't do it," I moaned aloud.
Mothers eye brows needed together. "What?"
"Nothing, nothing." I said quickly. "Look, do I have to go to this little pow-wow? Can I just skip this for once? Please?"
Dad eyes narrowed like a question. "Um, yes. Renesmee you have to go, your grandma would be very upset if you didn't. Is this because of Leah? Jacob will be there."
I rasied an eyebrow. "Is that sappossed to mean something to me?"
I sighed and quickly got up from my spot on the couch. "Fine. Do I have to go over to Aunties though?"
My mother smiled a little smile, but her face still read confused. "Yes. I'm sure the want to doll you up."
"Okay. See you then." I kissed the both, and walked quickly out the door.
Bella POV.
I watched out the window until Nessie had run a few miles away. I then turned to Edward fast with what I know was a confused look on my face.
"What the hell was that?" I asked softly, like I was dazed.
His eyebrows were stressed as he stared in the direction our daughter went. "I don't know. I have never had a conversation like that before with her. It's like she wouldn't tell us anything, like she was trying to hide something,"
"And that something has to do with Leah and Jacob somehow." I finished for him coming to him and taking his hands. We started up the stairs of our little cottage at human speed, talking.
"I couldn't get anything from her thoughts," Edward said. "She's holding that shield up so strongly. I just wonder if it has anything to do with her and—"
He stopped and let me finish. "Her growing body?" I said and laughed a little as Edward cringed.
"And Jacob?" I said talking to him now separated by the masses of clothing in my huge closet.
"I bet she just wonders what he thinks about her and vice verca. Its bound to happen, there imprints. Don't get all worked up about it."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward shake his head. "But what would Leah, of all people, have to do with any of that? Her thoughts… All I could catch was 'kissing', 'Jacob', 'Leah', 'closet' and 'feeling up'."
He turned and looked at me holding a few nice choice watches to go with his button down and slacks. "Now what's a concerned father to do with that?" He made a face.
I shrugged then held up two dresses for Edward to see.
"Go with the green." He told me. "The blue makes you look like a mom."
I mock angry growled at him, "Hey! I am a mom. And I thought you loved me in blue."
He rolled his eyes. "That's an ugly blue."
We both laughed.
. . .
"I looks beautiful in here Alice." I told my sister kindly although the pretty lighted Chinese decorations reminded me of my fuzzy human day parties.
Alice squealed. "Yes, of course. It's stunning. I mean this is like a one and a ten more years kind of thing."
"Yes, because I'm sure that after tonight we will never allow you to throw another party again." Edward said coming up behind me.
Alice frowned and nodded sadly. "Well, at least you finally put on something decent. Maybe my years of prying have worked."
I laughed. For this formal party I had worn a light, light green dress with hart shaped neckline and small straps. My dress made my waist very thin. And my accessories were right on target. Lets just say I was proud of my self. "Where's Renesmee?"
"Up here!" I heard her call pleadingly from up stairs in Rosalie's bathroom. "No! I do not want any more of that in my hair Rosie!"
"Oh come on, Nessie just a little…"
I heard a small scream. I sighed and unlinked my self from Edward. "You better rescue her." He told me.
I rolled my eyes. "Y'think?"
I made my way up the stairs and into Rose's room in half a second.
First thing I saw was Renesmee still in a robe and bath slippers hiding behind a chair.
She ran to me. "Oh thank god. I mean, really, how long does it take to put a simple bun in my hair Auntie?"
Rosalie stood in her long stunning black sweetheart strapless dress. "I wasn't trying to do a bun I was trying to do something else!"
Renesmee stood stubbornly. "Well I want my bun."
Coming out of her position from safely behind me, she took the brush and began making an elegant bun on the back of her head.
"Can you give me the dress? I haven't even seen it yet." She asked Rosalie. Rosalie handed her a pretty red dress.
She turned to leave the room but Rose stopped her. "Wait, take these."
What she handed her made Nessie blush harshly. Renesmee took the lacey thong and bra out of Rosalies hands fast, as if she didn't want anyone to see.
. . .
As people arrived at the party, I think began to relax. The booming voices of the packs was comforting.
Emmett worked as DJ in the back yard of the house, to witch everyone currently resided. I sat and watched Alice and Jasper take the floor dancing to a groovy 70's beat. I laughed out loud.
"You look beautiful." Edward said coming behind me. I smiled up at him. He looked dashing.
"Not to bad yourself, partner." He chuckled. We sat at a lonely bench watching. Emily was now dancing with Sam with her huge pregnant belly, and Paul with Rachel.
"Hows Renesmee? Have you been keeping tabs on her?" I asked him. Winding our fingers together.
He made a face. "She's fine, as far as I know. Talking with Jacob. She seems to be having a great time. Jacob too…" He clenched his jaw.
I laughed, looking over at smiling Renesmee dancing fast with Jacob, but Edward frowned and shook his head. "No, it took me every ounce of my strength not to, just bite his throat."
"It's that bad?" I raised my eyes brow.
"Yes," He said and rolled his eyes. "But, I think Leah's here."
Renesmee POV... to be continued... ;)
