Contest: Twilight of Craigslist AD Contest (Part I)
Title: Abandoned Blue Barns
Rating: M
Word Count (minus A/N and header): 620
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Wanted: Abandoned Blue Barns—Searching locations of barns; must meet specific criteria. Help me find her. (your city)
Date: 2011-09-27, 11:47PM CST
Reply to: bluebarn (at) craigslist (dot) org
Just like my posting title says, I'm looking for abandoned blue barns. The real thing, not pictures or postcards, please. I'm not looking for one-story horse stalls, chicken coops, or outhouses. I need to find actual blue barns, circa 1950's or earlier. They do not need to be in any specific part of the country, but something like the picture linked below.
I'm searching for the type of old barn that when it is pitch black outside and the moon is high it could easily be mistaken for a haunted house with its broken windows and doors barely hanging on the hinges. But during the day, when all you see is this massive structure surrounded by fields and trees, it's a fucking work of art. I need to find the kind of barn that is so old, the smell of rotting wood mixed with the sharpness of crisp fall air is the best thing you've ever smelled, something you realize months or even years later because that scent is a piece of a memory that's been burned into your brain, one you never want to forget.
I am not crazy. I am not a pervert. I am not a serial killer. But I am desperate.
So, let me ask you this. Did you ever go to a place like this late at night with your best friends, stay out way past curfew drinking too much beer, and were as loud and obnoxious as you wanted to be just because you could? Did you scare the hell out of that girl you had a crush on since the ninth grade by pretending to be Jason or Freddie or even the guy from Saw because you were drunk and stupid? She, of course, got pissed and stalked off with her girlfriends for a while, but you finally got her alone and apologized. Then something weird happened between the two of you, and you just knew. You knew because she was looking at you and you were looking at her, and every single molecule that made up the small space of air between you buzzed, so you spilled your guts. And as if by some cosmic gift from the gods, she suddenly confessed that she liked you, too, so you spent the next five minutes of your life in complete and utter bliss because that first kiss with her was like magic. Tell me you know what I'm talking about.
Five years, ten months, and twenty-four days prior to the post date of this ad, I had the most incredible, magical, five minute kiss with a girl next to a blue painted barn. That particular barn is gone now, demolished. It was deemed hazardous. Irony is a bitch.
It's a strange request, I know, but if I don't find what I'm looking for, I'll lose her again. I need to find every single abandoned blue barn in the U.S. How many blue barns could there possibly be? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? Doesn't matter because I need to find them all, or at least the right one. Time is kind of important. Actually, it's vital, so help me out. Please.
If you have ever spotted a barn similar to the one I described or resembles the one in the picture linked below either by driving by, walking or running past or have heard about one from your second cousin's niece's brother-in-law on your dad's side, email me. Like I said, I'm desperate. All I need is the location. Exact directions are great but not completely necessary. I have a GPS, but not a lot of time.
Picture: i848 (dot) photobucket (dot) com/ albums/ ab43/ Nayarit1984/ Contest%20pictures/ babybluebarn (dot) jpg
*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2687981168
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Public voting begins Oct 25 and runs through Nov 6. Don't forget to check back to the contest profile page on Oct 25 to place your vote!
