More than loneliness and whiskey

February 1926

1.

It was something rather odd to see someone gloomy at a wedding, but yet only Rosamund seemed to notice. Maybe because she was inwardly gloomy too or maybe because, never actually being the one at the centre of attention, she had developed a fine sense of observation.

"Are you not fond of weddings, doctor?" she asked, deciding to approach the lonely – and only vaguely familiar – figure standing outside the Church. "You are Doctor Clarkson, aren't you?"

He looked up immediately and for a moment surprise took over sadness. "My lady. I can say I am no particularly fond of this one"

"Oh, indeed. You too were competing for Mrs Crawley – well, Lady Merton now, if I remember correctly…"

She did and she knew that. According to her, noticing things and collecting rumors went absolutely together.

He smiled weakly and shook his head in the meanwhile. "It is not merely a matter of hurt pride, actually. I was in love with her."

2.

It was only for respect to the Granthams and not to foment some possible rumors, that Richard decided to join the reception at the Abbey. It should have taken place at Merton's place but the suddenness of the decision and the current still tensed situation with the rest of the Greys led to do everything in Downton; he still couldn't say if he felt relieved or even more hurt by that. He did not take much part to the celebration anyway and, remaining in one corner on his own, he just kept checking his pocket watch waiting for an appropriate time to leave unnoticed. Among all those nobles, he could not help but feel uncomfortable as if, despite his marginality, everyone was looking at him. What he failed to notice though, was that someone was actually watching him with more curiosity than the lecit.

However, it was only an half hour into the reception, that Rosamund finally decided to approach him. She did it silently and carrying with her a glass full of wine and the offer of company. He didn't know if it was for the wine or for the company, but he found himself accepting them both, not probably full aware that it was a free ticket for a potentially dangerous conversation.

"It's a long story…" he said with a sigh, when he realized too late the trap.

But she shrugged slightly and just casted an unfriendly glance to her mother sitting on the other side of the room.

"Well, I have all the time to hear it"

It was clear that the both of them could use a sort of distraction in that moment and so the compromise was done.

He started talking, hesitantly a bit, but soon the wine untied his tongue and he started to like the idea of having a confidant, despite how unexpected and maybe improper that was. He told her everything, he showed her his heart completely and, as he did that, he showed it for the first time to himself too. He talked, unusually a lot, and she listened carefully with not too invadent interruptions. Curiosity was slowly turning into genuine interest, while a hint of envy started to be sprinkled on top.

She did want someone to love her like that man had loved – and certainly was still loving in her opinion – Isobel Grey.

She did want to love someone with that intensity – even if it was an unrequited love and it would have teared her apart.

"…She didn't give me the chance to propose, you see. She must have thought I was asking her just out of loneliness, which it was only partly true…"

"I would have said yes, anyway" she interjected and now she was the one to look gloomy.

Evidently, the wine was having a little effect on her tongue as well. He fell silent and gave her an inquiring look, which she didn't hesitate much to reply to, remembering out loud her not so amusing adventure with Lord Hepworth.

Somehow it became her turn to talk and, somehow, he forgot to check his pocket watch.

3.

"Doctor Clarkson!" she exclaimed with a suddenly cheerful smile, as she started to cross the street to approach him.

In the meanwhile, he stopped abruptly and equally pleased by that unexpected meeting, smiled back and tilted his hat in greeting. "Lady Rosamund… I mean, Lady Painswick"

"No, don't worry, Lady Rosamund is correct" she reassured and, for some strange reason, it was not only for property that she was fine with being called with her first name. "After all, after the long talk of last week, I think we have a certain confidance in any case!"

She let out a chuckle at her own comment and Richard chuckled along with her, even if they both were unavoidably a bit embarassed remembering the exact recent circumstance.

"What are you doing here in London, anyway?"

"Just a meeting with some colleagues…"

"I see." She nodded and then looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess you already have plans for dinner, but if you don't, let me invite you"

He was taken aback by that and didn't even try to hide it. "I-I don't have any plans actually, but I don't think it would be appropriate"

"Why not? It will be just the two of us" she replied, trying to reassure him again but immediately widening her eyes herself, realizing how her words had come out. "I mean, there are no other guests, it will be something informal… And besides, you told me that you don't like having dinner alone"

The doctor frowned, but soon a smirk appeared on his lips. "Oh, did I?"

He wondered how many things he had let slip about himself in just a couple of hours with that lady.

And then he also wondered how many more things he would have let slip that very evening.

4.

Rosamund had not lied: the evening was informal, at least apart from the magnificence of the place and the not so friendly attitude of the butler. Luckily for him, he was used to both; what he wasn't used at all though, was to find in a lady apparently so different from him such an alike soul. For instance since the very start, as he was led into her huge living room and took place at the likewise huge table, he realized that that invitation had been made out of need of company and he welcomed that thought with a strange relief, not helping but relating to the feeling.

"So, what important medical news have you came to known today?" she asked at some point, in the gap between the first and the second course.

"Oh, I don't want to bother you – unless you are really interested in it"

And he actually believed that for a moment, because they weren't lacking of topics and therefore, he could be quite positive that the question hadn't been made out of simple politeness.

"Well, not really. I don't have any medical knowledge and I am not sure I could make a fine bandage for my life" she replied sincerely. "But I am curious about many things and I admire your job"

"You could come to Downton Hospital and take a look yourself then" he suggested, without actually thinking of how much forward that could sound. And he hadn't even touched his wine yet!

Silence fell immediately for the first time as they stared at each other for some seconds with slightly widened eyes, because after all it did sound forward. He opened his mouth with intent to say something to save the situation, but then, before he could even try to take his words back, he saw her nodding with surprising enthusiasm.

5.

Even if the dinner was quite long, Richard pleasantly accepted the lady's invitation to stay a little longer. They moved to the sitting room to share a drink and that was when they engaged a rather strange conversation about different qualities of whiskey.

"I think I must say that I am not an alcoholic addicted" she said, still taking a long sip from her glass though. "It is just that being a widow since a long time and living all alone in this big house, I tend to feel lonely. And you see, when I don't have any guests, I spend the evening reading some novels and then I go to bed with a glass of something strong." She stopped with a sigh that soon turned into a bitter slight chuckle. "Oh, I must sound so pathetic right now, don't I?"

He didn't reply for several moments, once again completely taken by surprise by that wonderful woman. That was exactly how he spent his evenings too, that was exactly how he had described his loneliness to Isobel on one evening that wasn't so different from that one he was living now. Once again he could understand, once again he could relate.

"Certainly you don't sound pathetic to me"


*Tiptoes into this little corner* Hello everyone! I guess that some explanations for this story are in order. As some of you already know, I am a Richobel shipper and I still am. However, right after the CS, I felt the need to write some sort of happy ending for Richard too (even without Isobel) and this feeling immediately combined somehow with the desire to see another character I like very much - Rosamund - happy; I realized that, after all, these two could have more things in common than what at first could seem.

I was unsure of how this might have been welcomed, I was unsure of what I was going to do with my basic idea, but in the meanwhile I wrote and I wrote more than I had expected at first. I had fun while writing and soon I found myself with a lot of little Richard/Rosamund moments all set in the Downton Abbey's new year that we didn't get the chance to see. With the encouragement of some friends (one of them helped me to decide the title and another one encouraged me to publish the cover image even if it is badly made), I decided to post it and I hope you like it as well - or at least have some curiosity to read more:)