On a fine day, bright and sunny, Umino Iruka went out his door for a walk. And from there, everything went downhill. He came across Naruto, who happened to be a chibi for some very strange reason. Said Naruto chibi was clinging to Kakashi-sensei, sitting on his shoulders. "C'mon, I wanna see it!" was all Iruka-chan heard of this conversation, so his mind wandered for a bit about certain parts of the silver haired jounin. cough cough "Lemme read Icha Icha! And, take off your mask! How can you eat with it on?" Iruka could tell poor Naruto was getting frustrated. "Well…I wouldn't want to ruin your innocence." Was all Kakashi said. Iruka hoped that he meant by reading the pervy little orange book.

"But it looks funny! And I still…" Naruto said as Iruka walked quietly away. He was nearly attacked then, by a very drunk Gai. How Gai got drunk at 7 am was beyond Iruka, who rarely drank at all. 'Must be how he acts like he does all the time…' Iruka thought as the drunk man sloppily kissed him on the cheek. "Hey! Don't do that!" Iruka yelled while trying to pull a drunk and sparkling green thing off him. "I LURVE YOU MY DEAR AND YOUTHFUL RURU-CHAN" Gai yelled before passing out, falling on Iruka.

Iruka managed to escape from the green mountain and decided to head west. He felt like taking a long walk to get away from the antics of Konoha. Orochimaru, Jiraiya, and Tsunade were all playing Sorry, and Orochimaru disgustingly moved his pieces with his tongue. Cause it was long like that… He kept giving Jiraiya funny looks. Sasuk was wondering how to kill Kakashi for taking his beloved Naruto away, while his sexy big brother read stories about certain 'couples', such as himself and Naruto. He particularly liked the ons where Sasuke died.

Sakura and Ino were having a dance contest when Kabuto decided to join in. Gaara was building a giant sand castle and locked up Temari, Kankuro, and Baki in it. Baki did't mind, as long as he had porn…

Back to Iruka, he had exited the Konoha borders and entered Mist territory(I don't care how, he magicly could have teleported…) "Hey, lookit. A cute little dolphin! How adorable the chibi is!" Some man said. Iruka was surrounded by a storm of guys, looking to molest him. Back in Konoha, Gai looked up froom his 'stylish' chia pet, and said "My Ruka-kun sense is tingling! He must be in DANGER!"

But, luckily, Iruka shared two traits with Ed Elric. One, he hated milk. Two, he hated being called short. So, he somehow used alchemy to cause the men to explode…