What if everyone was an Uchiha?

A/N:

Hello everyone! This is pure crack and I just wrote this on a whim, so this probably will not get a sequel unless a lot of people happen to like it. Note that my other story's updates will be sporadic so don't expect consistent updates for any stories that I may make. R&R

Sakura-

A single tomoe spun in each of the red eyes of Sakura Uchiha.

Settling herself into a dramatic pose, her bright pink hair rustling in the wind, she yelled:

"Gaze upon ultimate power! The legendary Sharingan!"

Looking introspective for a moment, she then muttered:

"Maybe now Sasuke-nii will love me..." (-nii suffix refers to Onii or older brother in Japanese)

Zabuza Momochi could only facepalm.

Naruto-

Naruto Uchiha sat on his bed brooding, Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan activated in both of his eyes.

Sometimes he wondered how he gained his EMS on the day he was born, and for some reason the word 'convenient plot device' always came to mind, but he put that out of mind for now.

For years he has dealt with the scorn and hatred of this village because of that damned fox... but no more.

For he had the ultimate power of the Sharingan, somehow able to control a primal beast of pure and nearly limitless chakra... once again 'convenient plot device' popped into his head.

Nonetheless, today he would control this pathetic village in order to get- GALLONS OF RAMEN DATTEBAYO!

Dammit, why does this always happen to him!

Oh well, crushing this pathetic village can come later, for he must now satisfy his baser urges.

A loud and obnoxious voice was later heard singing "RAMEN, RAMEN!" over and over as he ran across the village to Ichiraku's Ramen.

Kyuubi-

The majestic and venerable Kyuubi no Kitsune lay down in his cage, sleeping.

He woke up suddenly, coming to a shocking realization.

"I... I am who I hate." he muttered disbelievingly, his chakra circling around him in torrents.

"My name... is Kurama Uchiha..." he spoke.

"...HOW THE HELL!?" he yelled in a blind rage.

When eventually Naruto travels into his mindscape for the first time, he finds nothing, the Kyuubi having somehow transcended the seal of the Shinigami and sent all of his chakra into the void, absorbing it completely and ending his life.