Around New Year's Eve-The Hob-Gale's POV: "You know, I'll bet that just one of them squirrels is worth one of my fine kisses any day," Darius said. Katniss laughed, sitting cross-legged on the counter eating the precious soup. Greasy Sae laughed along with her, leaning on the counter on the opposite side of Katniss that I was. Darius was a little too close to her for my taste. Oh, if only I always got my way-got my way at all. They were both eating wild dog stew that Greasy Sae had decided she would call beef once it was in the stew like a lot of other times. I was the only one-besides Darius-not laughing. They must have thought it was a joke but I knew otherwise. I knew how Cray was and Darius couldn't be much different. No two Peacekeepers are that different at all actually. How was hitting on someone, way younger than you, funny? It isn't. At all. I'm sixteen, almost seventeen and Katniss is just fifteen. This isn't right of him. What is he? Twenty something? Younger than Haymitch, that much is for sure. I missed however the girls decided to respond because of my train of thoughts. She was just now catching my attention. I mean, she sure caught me in the first place. Good hunting partners are hard to find. But now I could see that it had been just three years I had really known her and she'd grown. Not just mentally, emotionally, but physically. Other guys seem to be catching on too. The next year: "So, I guess I'll take the traps for the day," Katniss rambles on, basically suggesting I go to the Hob which I don't mind at all as long as it keeps her out. I hate it when she goes alone ever since I noticed that other guys see her differently than I do. My thoughts are once again in another place than hers. Why didn't I take Peeta's place? I should have. Then there wouldn't be this whole cousin bull shit and I would be the one kissing her and holding her hand and showing the whole country that she's mine. Does she even understand that I love her? That's it-I love her-I said it. God, she's so naive. And childish yet mature. And cute yet beautiful. And smart yet so very stupid when she isn't thinking. Every time I saw Peeta or Katniss on the screen, even now, I ask myself the same thing. Why? Why didn't I take his place? But the so obvious answer is always screaming at me. She wouldn't have ever forgiven me and I still wouldn't end up with her because of it. The deal was there ever since she was eleven and I met her in those woods. Ever since we started hunting together. You go, she protects your family and vice versa. You had more of a chance with her if you stayed so you did. That's what this is really all about. You're a selfish coward! If I went, Katniss would be free from all this shit though. I would be dead and everything would be fine for her and our families. I should have gone. It's a constant battle with myself, but I will always win in the end, Katniss won't. Katniss is in the fight of a lifetime because of my stupidity. But Peeta seems to really love her. Sometimes even Catnip fools me, but not for long because soon we are in the woods and avoid any bad topics. In any case, there isn't a thing I wouldn't risk or give for her. Peeta doesn't deserve her. So I risk before I think. She's only been talking maybe half a second about resetting my snares and I've thought of all this. That's a good place to stop her. My mind works-possibly-in my favor this time. I lean into her and our lips touch for the first time. I could have sworn I'd memorized these lips. Every move they could possibly make but I was wrong. I close my eyes and trap her chin in my hand but part of my brain knows this won't and can't last forever. I break away and look her in the eyes. Hers were shifty as if deciding which eye to look me in. I only look at her long enough to say, "I had to do that, at least once." And I break away into the Hob without another look back.
