Grossly being engaged in the pointless effort of looking at a all too familiar ceiling. The lonely boy felt his very soul feel drained even more then he thought it could. Surrounding him is nothing but merchandise of anime, manga, video games you know it. But unlike normal people, this wasn't just a hobby. No, for it was a lifestyle that he has inflicted onto himself, for he is...A hikikomori.
He tilted his head over to the door lazily. He was still underneath the covers of his futon, and had little desire to budge. Kazuma had been a hikikomori for over a year. Even if hunger, or tiredness could force his hand and make him venture out, the young man knew what cards he held. Once a person severs ties with society, it was hard to integrate back in. The outside world was cold, unforgiving and most of all... Scary.
He would rather stay here, in the false comfort of this unfortunate place that he calls home. Safe from all the people, the violence and the pain of interaction. And most importantly, safe from the conspiracy that is responsible for the state of his life.
In this world, conspiracies exist. However, there is a more than a ninety-nine percent chance that the plausible-sounding conspiracies that you hear about from others are simple delusions or even intentional lies. When you visit a bookstore, the books with titles like The Great Conspiracy to Ruin the Japanese Economy using Anime and Manga! or The Super Conspiracy of the FBA That Hides Their Secret Pact with Wizards from another dimension! are all just trivial delusions. Even so. . . people love conspiracies. There's just something about conspiracies, and how easy it is to put the blame on, a scapegoat if you interpreted it as such.
Yes... Because it wasn't HIS fault that he was a lonely man in his twenties who will eventually die all alone due to his lack of social skills and personal relationships. For it was a result of some unknown force, that can't be proven but can't also be debunked as well.
It was the perfect excuse, a way to distract himself from the cold hard reality. Where the only person who loved him didn't ditch him for some delinquent with a junky motorcycle. It's better to have no one care about him then to have someone betray his trust and leave him to inflict a self inducing purgatory on himself that he can't escape from.
"Ah," he had moaned.
If he didn't break out of my present condition soon, then Kazuma would completely fall behind and fade from normal society. Even worse, he was a dropout already. If he actually tried, he could at least find work fast and return to society.
But in the end, he just. . . couldn't do it.
This was the curse of being a hikikomori, if there were ever a tournament about who would be the best at being a hikikomori, he would win a gold medal for every event. He could imagine it now, a young woman holding his arm and saying "Congratulations Kazuma! You are the #1 nobody!" If such a event were to ever come to fruition, it would be hosted by the very conspiracy that is responsible for hikikomori around the world like him. The very same conspiracy that produces garbage content and media that people like him eat up like hungry moths.
Eat...
"Why didn't I just go to the convenience store last night?" Although he asked, he already knew the answer, as he was constantly gaming last night, didn't even get that much sleep to be honest. His stomach was threatening him by trying to devour itself if it doesn't get any food, but since he doesn't have any, he would have to...
"Go outside." Kazuma had said, finishing his train of thought. Throwing the covers off in frustration, he forced himself upwards. The sudden motion left him feeling lightheaded, and even a little bit dizzy to be honest. "It'll be over before I know it." he tries to rationalize while rubbing his eyes. "The store is just down the street." Perhaps it will be today, today will be the day. Resolutions, however—such as "This will be the day I go outside and make myself find a part-time job!"—just faded away like mist, in less than ten minutes. Heck, he had even timed when he would give up on the effort.
No...Today wouldn't be that day, he was sure of it, and with that. All of Kazuma's blind hope vanished. But he still had to go get something to eat. Getting up, he grabbed some sweatpants out of the pile of dirty clothing next to his bed. Cleaning hadn't been on his mind for... God knows how long. But still, looking down on the shirt that he was wearing, he knew that the stains on it will only attract attention, people will stare at him, and only him, housewives, children, students, you know it. So he had to cover it up, cover the fact that he was human filth only damaging the reputation and state of his own country. He had to look like he was NOT a hikikomori, but a actual twenty year old normal Japanese man.
So it was then that he had decided that he should wear THAT. The only reminder of what came before, back when he had good grades in Physical Education and a childhood friend who said that they would get married in the far but very near future. They would have cute kids and a nice house, not a shoddy apartment cluttered with trash, but a clean, sophisticated place that he and his family would call home. Where families could visit and talk, have dinner and just...
No. Don't cry Kazuma, please stop it, right now. God dangit, why did he had to end up like this? Maybe the only way to escape this enteral suffering would be to starve to death. That would be nice, but he wasn't suicidal unfortunately. For some reason, he still felt like wanting to live. So he went to the place where he kept it. A small ordinary box that could be easily ignored or forgotten, but not to him, he could never forget, for what was contained in the box was the last thing that SHE had ever gave him.
A green tracksuit, on the outside, it wasn't that special, heck you could probably find in a clothing store somewhere if you attempted to look. But looking at it brought him back to those days that occasionally crossed his mind, the days in which he wasn't a hikikomori, the days in which Kazuma had friends and people who cared about him, he had barely wore it ever since he became the thing that is now. Ever since he was betrayed by the person he gave his heart to. All thanks to the conspiracy that have continued to create people like him all around the world. Even though for all intents and purposes, it was nothing more than a simple hunch, but he could no longer have any doubt about its accuracy. He may as well call the idea a divine revelation. It wouldn't even be an exaggeration to call this enlightenment. However, Kazuma's prior familiarity with the conspiracy that is responsible for his current state of living had come to mind. Back then he had been into video games a lot, he would always spend his allowance on playing arcade machines. While thinking, a familiar scent suddenly came to Kazuma. It was the suit, the one he has holding right this moment.
It still had the same fresh smell, like strawberries and lemons, god that must've sounded so sappy if he had actually said that trash out loud. But he couldn't waste anymore time, his stomach was getting more and more impatient with him as he was wasting time. So after putting it on finally, he walked to the doorknob and reached for it, his hand constantly shaking as he tried to reach for it. But he finally did it, and Kazuma was graced with the view of the outside world beyond his quote on quote "home". Stepping outside, the harsh sun wasted no time beating down on him relentlessly, as if to make him feel unwelcomed. Almost as if it was trying to say "So after all this time you finally went out? Do you honestly think that I should treat properly just because you crawled out of your cave. You should expect this considering how you haven't been around me for a loooonnng time!" Kazuma imagined the voice of the sun being that of those tough black guys you always see in the media, but then again, what does he know?
He then began walking down the apartment complex's shared balcony. The building was fairly small, outdated and unremarkable, but the rent was reasonable and that was really that matters in the long run. He was already close to his destination, it was only just a few minutes anyway.
"Oh for crying out loud Erith! Don't do this to me now!" Kazuma had heard someone from a distance yell, from the voice it seemed that the person who yelled was female. But to him, he just tried to keep looking at the ground due to not wanting to attract attention, he just wanted to get something to eat, go back, and doing something productive. And by that, he means playing online games for the rest of the day. But the trance that he was carrying with him was broken as he bumped into someone, and he stumbled forward roughly. Perhaps it was bound to happen, with the withdrawn way he was carrying himself.
Finally looking up from the event, he saw something that would've been in a dream, a beautiful young woman possibly around his age standing up next to the cherry blossoms that were in full bloom—a cheerful, endlessly beautiful scene all by itself, but what made it so surreal was the woman's majestic blue hair, somehow it looked so natural even though it shouldn't, it couldn't! This almost seems like something you can find in a anime or a light novel made by some hack who can't write even if his life depends on it. He could've swore that this might've been the work of the conspiracy. It only made sense, how he, a loser with no qualifications suddenly see such a sight to take. However, not all good things last, for the woman was severely annoyed and began to lecture Kazuma, it was then that he figured out that she was the person he heard earlier having a argument with a girl named "Erith".
"What the heck's you're problem anyway? Way to bump into a girl having a conversation, and hey, are you listening?"
Kazuma didn't know how to react to this sudden aggressiveness, it was way too much to handle for him, considering how he hasn't had a conversation with another human being since he became a hikikomori, let alone a female, a ATTRACTIVE one no less. "Take it easy, Aqua. You're not even giving him a chance to speak..." A much more softer voiced pleaded, pulling Kazuma's attention elsewhere. Behind the blue haired girl, now referred to as "Aqua" was a young girl with white hair, this must've been the person that Aqua was talking to...
"Yeah right, look at this guy." Aqua replied harshly to Erith, while waving her hands at him. "He's probably just a dirty NEET, right?"
"Hey where did he go?"
As the wounded boy continued running away, a thought was constantly running through his mind with no way to prevent it. 'Why the heck did I leave my apartment?' And while he knew the answer, he was then cruelly reminded of his biggest fear of being mocked, judged by other people. He could feel the piercing gazes of the civilians around him, just what are these people thinking?!? That girl was right, he was a dirty NEET, a dirty NEET who shouldn't be outside at all. He then saw his destination in sight, the convience store, the thing that he came for. Rushing through the doors, he quickly looked around for something to get rid of the growing pit inside his stomach. Instant Ramen noodles, why not? Anything's good, just as long as he can go back to his apartment and actually feel safe again. Purchasing the food came as quick as the speed of light, he could've barely remembered what happened, however, the cashier was a blond haired girl with a red hat and a black t-shirt. And there was just something about her... No! Dangit Kazuma, stop thinking of woman you barely know!
When he had finally got home, he then poured hot water from the hot pot stored on top of the refrigerator. And then he put the ramen in there and waited— listening to the faint notes of an anime song that echoed from room 202, the apartment next to mine, Kazuma waited patiently for three minutes. Not that it was important or anything but his next door neighbor, who had just moved in this spring, really seemed to like anime. While it didn't really matter, school should have started already. Was it okay that he hadn't left his apartment? He felt like warning him about what he's doing, that he'll end up like him. "Morning is no time to be engrossed in the theme song to Eromanga-Sensei! You're going to be late!" Besides, who even watches that show anyway? Even a hikikomori like him has a least SOME decent taste in brainwashing media. Of course, Kazuma didn't do any such thing. The next door neighbor's lifestyle wasn't a concern. While these thoughts ran through his mind, three minutes passed in what felt like a matter of seconds. The ramen was ready, but then, it happened. At the very moment that he was about to thrust my disposable chopsticks into the noodles, the doorbell's resounding "ding dong, ding dong" interrupted the entire process. Who the heck could that be? He was afraid of course, after the last time that he had interacted with someone just a few minutes ago, so he hesitated with opening the door, but he convinced himself that it was probably the electricity man, it was the day that he was supposed to pay for his rent, Kazuma reminded himself.
"Oh yeah, the electricity? Ok, ok I'll pay for it right now sir-"
"Um excuse me sir."
Kazuma didn't expect that response, and he certainly didn't expect a little girl to be at his door, today's just full of crazy things isn't it? The girl had shoulder-length dark brown hair and crimson colored eyes. She is strangely a classical witch attire such as a black cloak with gold border, choker, wizard's hat, fingerless gloves, and is carrying a black staff.
"Huh?" Kazuma has wondered out loud after taking in the girl's strange appearance and nature, was she a cosplayer? Why else would she be wearing that outfit outside, but why come here? Well that was a question that Kazuma was going to ask, but then the young girl spoke to him and said...
"KAZUMA KAZUMA KAZUMA KAZUMA AUHSJAHAHAHUASHAHHAHFUrfbdwahk segmvrdgjmcawgknceuomavuwhjsnznakaokNzn-"
Kazuma then woke up.
He had heard a all too familiar voice in his dream, causing the man to wake up with a small gasp of breath, he then turned around to see the explosion-obsessed loli herself, Megumin. To be honest, Kazuma had expected that lazy goddess Aqua to be the one to annoy him out of his slumber. He had started rubbing his eyes while asking her why he woke him up. But in secret, he was actually glad he had escaped from that nightmare that reminded him all too much of the good old days back when he hated himself.
The Mage told him that Aqua and Darkness were going to the usual place to see if there are any quests worth checking out, and apparently Darkness wanted to go do the big ones, especially the ones that sounded painful. Yep, what else did he expect, he never really tried to understand Darkness's obsession with being hurt. Heck he had remembered that one time where she had told while she was poisoned that she was ok with dying. There's a clear difference between feeling pleasure from pain and actually being suicidal and Kazuma was having a hard time trying to figure that out with that woman.
And the goddess well... After that nightmare, he really didn't want to deal with Aqua right now, and although he tries to hide it, it always hurt whenever she brought up the fact that he was a NEET.
Kazuma didn't notice the fact that he was looking down at the sheets covering him completely absorbed in his mind. Megumin then tried fake coughing to get him out of the state he was currently in.
"Oh right, give me a minute to change would you?" Kazuma didn't really have a sarcastic remark or quip as of right now, he wasn't tired but he was feeling something that he hadn't felt since before he had arrived to Axel with the task to defeat the Devil King. The girl next to him nodded her head, aware of Kazuma's state that he really needed to be left alone. So she left the room and closed the door, Kazuma then began to silently weep.
