DOUG'S BAD PARTY

By WileE2005 (with a little help from my brother)

DISCLAIMER: This is based off of the Nickelodeon version of "Doug," and is loosely based of the 1994 episode "Doug's Bad Trip" by Alan Higgins. "Doug" is created by Jim Jinkins and is a trademark of Jumbo Pictures. Spongebob is also a trademark of Nickelodeon and Viacom, and Pokémon is a trademark of Nintendo, and the Looney Tunes is a trademark and copyright of Warner Bros. Entertainment. I do not own these properties.

It all started on a Saturday morning at the Funnies' house on Jumbo Street. Phil Funnie called the family to a little meeting in their living room. As Phil was pacing around the room, he began, "OK, family… I know you all wanted to go bowling again this weekend. Unfortunately, we won't be going this weekend." When Doug, Judy and Theda all moaned, Phil's mood lightened and handed out party invitations he got the day before. "Instead, we're going to the Adler's house in Charon for Jim's birthday party!" The Adlers were friends with Doug and Theda Funnie, for Mrs. Adler worked with Phil at the camera store. They had a fourteen-year-old son named Jim.

"Wow, dad!" Doug said, reading the invitation. "A real fourteen-year-old's party!"

"That's right!" Phil said proudly. "We're leaving at 2 PM, spend twenty minutes on the road, and arrive just in time for pizza, ice cream, and that Spongebob Squarepants cake!" Jim was a big fan of Spongebob, even though the Funnies didn't particularly like that show.

Later that day, they began to get into their bubble-dome car. "Hand me the camera, Doug," Phil called to Doug, whom handed him his new digital camera.

Judy came up dragging a big backpack. "Hold on. One more!" she said.

"Man, Judy," Doug said, struggling to pick up the backpack, "what have you got in here? Rocks?"

"Our Pokémon stuff," Judy said. Doug and Judy were both big Pokémon fans.

Doug asked, "Even my Pikachu?"

"Yes."

Then they all got into the car, including their dog Porkchop, and began to back out of the driveway. "Watch out, Adlers," Phil announced. "Here come the Funnies!" The family cheered as they drove off.

As they drove down a hill, they all cheerfully sang "Old MacDonald." But a little later when they drove past a large medical center, only Doug and Theda were now singing, in this case, "Row, Row, Row your Boat." Then they got on the northbound interstate highway, and Doug and Theda were now struggling to sing "This Old Man."

They passed a big Bal-Mart, and now Theda was looking tired, Porkchop was sleeping, and Judy was flipping through her poetry books. "Man," Doug thought to himself. "Who knew a simple ride to Charon could be so boring?"

Then they entered Devon, and Doug saw a sign. He read it out loud, "'Visit Simpson's Furniture of Exit 19 on Sprocket Drive.'" Then they turned off the highway and passed another sign. "'Simpson's Furniture is Coming Up,'" he read. "Wow! It's got a MAM Ride! Dad, can we visit Simpson's Furniture?" Doug asked.

Phil said, "Doug, that could make us late. It's a very big store, and we could get lost in it."

"Phil," Theda told her husband, "the MAM Ride might be really funny."

'

So Phil sighed, and took a right onto Sprocket Drive. "All right!" Doug said.

At Simpson's Furniture, they went to the MAM Ride, which was short for "Motion-Animation-Movie Ride." The family, as well as Porkchop, bought their tickets, and went into a small room, where they saw a spectacular laser show. After that, they went into an auditorium with special motion seats. The seats moved to the onscreen 3-D computer animation, giving them the simulation they were whizzing through a jungle. Interesting things happened, including a dinosaur roaring on the screen and a windshield wiper wiping off the fog from the roar, and a helicopter rescuing the "camera." There were also small nozzles that lightly splashed them with water during watery scenes.

As their seats were moving back and forth, Doug asked, "That's the MAM Ride? A movie with motion seats and squirters?"

"What did I tell you?" Judy said in an annoyed tone.

After the show, the family left the store. As they were walking to the car, Phil said, "OK, it's 3:10. If we hurry, we can make it before rush hour."

Once they were back on the road, Phil told his family, "You know something? I love that store! Too bad Bluffington doesn't have a Simpson's Furniture."

"In other words," Judy said, looking up from her book, "L-A-M-E. Lame." She gave Doug a shove.

"Hey! That store was cool!" Doug argued.

"Judith! Douglas!" Theda scolded. "Remember, this is a FAMILY trip."

"Well, I'm not gonna fall for something like THAT again," Doug swore to himself.

But before long, they came to another sign as they drove through Bloatsburg. "'Visit the Mason Community Center.'" Doug read.

"It's just a fitness center," Judy explained.

But Doug said, "Come on. We know what this is. It's a community center! Tell me, how can it be bad?"

"It DOES sound interesting," Theda said, talking Phil into it once again.

So they went to the Mason Community Center. But inside, they saw it just had a gym, some exercise and locker rooms, and an indoor swimming pool. They stood from the balcony.

Doug angrily shouted down to the people, "THIS IS A BORING FITNESS CENTER!"

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, DOUG!" Phil and Judy and Theda shouted out as well.

The manager came up from behind them and yelled, "GET OUT OF THIS COMMUNITY CENTER!"

So they left, with Theda behind the wheel. Phil angrily crossed his arms and said, "We're never going there again."

As they were approaching Charon and passing a condominium, Judy sarcastically said, "Tell me, Douggie, what's our next stop on our tour of Simpleton-ville?"

Doug looked out the window and read aloud another sign, " 'Visit the Spum Corner Shopping Plaza in Damon and Charon.'"

"STOP!" Judy shrieked, and then the car skidded to a halt.

"What?!" Phil asked.

Judy grabbed Doug and said, "That's a great mall!"

Phil shook his head and said, "It's now 4:15, dear!"

"But we saw all those lame, stupid and uninteresting things Doug wanted to see," Judy argued.

"She has a point, Phil," Theda added.

"But, honey, it's 4:15!" Phil sobbed.

At the next intersection, they took a right and drove into Damon. "That's IT!" Judy said, as they pulled into a parking lot. "Isn't it cool?" she said as she got out of the car first, dancing gleefully.

So the family went around the shopping center, with Judy pleased and excited the whole time, while the rest of the family was bored. Doug and Porkchop were slightly angered by this.

After a half-hour of exploring the shopping plaza, they finally made it to the Adlers' house. "We made it, and it's 5:00." Phil announced. They rang the doorbell and entered, and greeted the Adler family.

"Hello, Funnies!" Mrs. Adler said. "Why don't you make yourselves at home? We have pizza coming, and Doug, you've grown taller since I last saw you."

In the den, Doug expected to go through their collection of vintage books. But they were surprised to see the chest of books was no longer there. "Hey, what happened to all those old books?" Doug asked.

"Oh, we got rid of them, Doug," Mr. Adler said. "That and Jim's old wooden train set."

Upstairs, Doug and Judy got permission to look around Jim's bedroom. Judy opened a chest to find a radio that didn't work, and Doug was checking out a globe.

"There's nothing to DO here!" Judy dramatically sighed.

"Yeah…" Doug agreed, and noticed that Jim's bed had pictures of the Looney Tunes characters on it, playing sports. Doug and Judy both liked the Looney Tunes cartoons. "Hey, look!" Doug pointed out. "He has a bedspread with the Looney Tunes on it. See, there's Bugs Bunny, and Sylvester, and Daffy Duck…"

Judy complained, "Yes, but they are playing sports, which I am not into. Plus, Wile E. Coyote isn't even on them. He is SO handsome!" She sighed dreamily, for Wile E. Coyote was her favorite Warner Bros. cartoon character.

At 7:30, they left the party. Doug and Judy were both arguing as they were walking to the car, and the skies were dark and cloudy.

"Let's go," Phil said.

"It does look like thunderstorms, dear," Theda told the kids.

"You thought the community center was bad?" Doug angrily told Judy. "At least THEY had a swimming pool. THIS PLACE IS LAME-O-CENTRAL! The ancient books are gone, the trains are gone, even that Pokémon book is gone!" Then he smiled and added, "The only good thing they have was the Looney Tunes bed sheets."

"Can it, Douggie!" Judy said, pointing at Doug. "Just because they had Marvin the Martian on it doesn't mean that YOU have to like it!"

But before Doug could argue, lightning flashed with loud thunder crashing and it began to rain hard. "Let's go family, I'm getting soaked!" Phil said, as he and Doug and Porkchop and Theda ran to the car.

Judy stayed in the driveway, saying "Oh, rain… so infrequent, so fickle."

Phil pushed Judy into the car, telling her, "Let's GO, Judy."

They got into the car and pulled out of the driveway. "Now," Phil said, "we're going to have to drive straight home. No stops, no nothing!"

"I hope you're happy," Judy sourly said.

"ME happy?" Doug argued. "YOU'RE the one walking through that shopping center for half an hour!"

"PLEASE, EVERYONE, CAN WE JUST BE QUIET?!" Phil yelled. Then they drove off.

They drove in the pouring rain, through Bloatsburg, past a Honker Burger.

"Phil, maybe we should pull over," Theda warned.

Phil said sternly, "We have to make time. We're going home!"

Later, they were back in Bluffington driving down Diamond street. It was still stormy and now completely dark out, and lightning knocked over a tree as they swerved around it. Then they drove onto a highway overpass, going on the opposite lane.

"This is all your fault!" Judy said.

"MY FAULT? You don't even know what you're talking about! AH, SHUT UP!" Doug cursed.

"DOUG, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT…" Phil began, but a loud horn honking interrupted him. They were now about to hit a truck head-on! Everyone except Porkchop screamed, and they swerved out of the way as the truck passed, and they screeched to a stop like they were about to crash.

"Everybody OK?" Phil asked.

Doug, Judy and Theda all said they were all right and that it was no big deal. The rain stopped and the storm passed as well.

"Whew…" Phil said, and began to go, but the car made strange noises and broke down. "Well, family," he said, "that's the end of our trip. There's a gas station up ahead. If I start walking, they can tow us out between 11 PM and 3 AM." He got out and began to walk ahead.

But then Doug ran behind him and stopped him. "Wait a minute," he said. "I have an idea!"

A few minutes later, all four of them were struggling from the back of the car, ready to push it. "OK, let's go," Doug grunted. Porkchop stood behind the steering wheel. Soon the car began to slowly move, and when the overpass began to go downhill, the car began to roll a tad faster, and the family hopped onto the back of it. Then they rolled over to the gas station and Porkchop hit the brakes.

An hour later, the mechanic came out of the garage, saying, "OK, she's as good as new."

The family cheered and danced around, as the clouds cleared up and the moon came out. "This Saturday trip brought us closer than we ever were," Doug said.

END