Behind Baby Blue Eyes

-By Donita Brown-

He doesn't know that I do this every night.

Not many big sisters at age 11 check up on their little brothers. Usually, they're asleep in their own nice, warm beds. But because I care so much about him, I do it anyway.

Every night, around 3am in the morning, I wake up instinctively. I climb out of my bed and walk to the end of the hallway. Since the door is halfway open, I'm able to walk in. There I see him, my 9-year-old little brother, Danny. As usual, he's fast asleep. Since it's such a nice night, my mom leaves the window open so the cool breeze can come in. I can see the moonlight rain down on him, causing his short, black hair to receive a bluish tint. His hair remains the same way as it does during the day; covering the top tips of his eyelashes. Instead of seeing his glimmering, baby blue eyes, they are shut into imagination. I can see him, peacefully holing his favorite teddy bear, his arms wrapping around it for safety.

I slowly make my way over to him, careful not to make a sound. I walk up to his bedside. When he continues to make neither movement nor sound, I place my hand on his hair, stroking it gently. Sometimes, I wonder what he dreams about. Sure, he has nightmares like most kids, but when he does, he always calls for me only.

Sometimes, my mom tells me that she wonders about us. Even thought she wonders about me, she mostly has one question on her mind: how did Danny get his big, beautiful, baby blue eyes? Sure, I get some of my eye color from a few people in my family, but how is it that he's the only one with that color?

So, one day we decided to investigate.

It was a cold, December afternoon. I was bored and Danny was asleep. He had a fever and had to stay at home for about 3 days. He was five and I was seven at the time. My dad was working in the lab and my mom just came back from shopping. When she spotted me sitting alone, she sat her bags down and asked, "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm bored and lonely," I replied. She sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around me. "Don't worry, sweetie. Danny will feel better soon." She reassured me. Suddenly, she said, "Have you noticed how Danny is the only one in our family with baby blue eyes?"

"Come to think of it, yeah, he is the only one." I said. "C'mon, I want to show you something," She said. We walked to her upstairs library area. She loaded up the computer and typed a few words. I tried to peek over, but failed. She saw my attempt and lifted me in her lap. At that moment, we were ready to investigate.

It took a couple of hours until we found some things out. It turns out that a small recessive gene can be carried down each generation within every one out of twenty families for baby blue eyes. It's a rare eye color for most people and can mean several things for the person's faith: intelligent, sensitive, and mysterious. I knew Danny was smart and sensitive, but mysterious? I found that hard to believe.

To this day, I still think about that. Sure, there are hidden secrets behind those glistening, baby blue eyes, but I guess no one will ever know what, exactly.

I stand up from his bed and kiss him on his forehead. Before I leave his room, I whisper to him, "I love you, Danny. I'll never leave your side, and I'll always love you, no matter what." Somewhere, deep down inside, I wish that he could've heard me every night. Sometimes, I wish I could go deep within his thoughts. But hypothetically, I know this is an impossible dream. Before I leave, I hear a small voice whisper, "I love you, too." I glance around, only to find Danny in the same position as I left him. I smile at him and say, "Good night, Danny." I know he's listening because I see him smile back. I close the door and walk to my room. I crawl under my covers and fall asleep.

It's been 5 years since I checked on Danny every night. Now, I'm sixteen and he's fourteen; too old for me to do that anymore. Since I've recently thought about it, I do what I miss doing a long time ago.

I walk into his room, about an hour after his bedtime. I'm not ready to go to bed yet, but I know Danny's already asleep. "Danny? Are you awake?" I whisper, but I get no reply. I walk over to him and sit beside him. I can see his hair sprawled all over his pillow, like black chocolate poured over a large, white marshmallow. He looks as peaceful as he did when he was eleven. I reach over and brush his hair with my hand. "Danny, you're growing up so fast, I just don't know if I'll ever be able to do this again. I just want to tell you how much I love you and that I'll always be there for you." I tell him.

"I love you, too, Jazz." He whispers to me. I look over at him, surprise that he is awake. He turns around, revealing his rare, baby blue eyes that sparkle in the dimmed light. "Danny, I didn't think you were awake. I thought you-"I start to say, but he cuts me off. "No, it's okay. I know already," Danny says. "You do? You mean-""Whenever I'm asleep, you come in and check up on me, and then you tell me how much you care about me." He explains, holing my hand.

I smile at him, tears coming to my eyes. He pulls me towards him gently and hugs me tightly. We sit there for a while, until my eyes start to feel tired. I look down and see Danny lying in my arms, sleeping soundly. I can feel his heartbeat against mine. I set him down on his bed and pull the blankets over his sleeping body. "Good night, Danny." I whisper to him. I leave him alone to dream underneath his baby blue eyes.