Hurt
A Lord of The Rings Fanfic
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR I only own this story, and I don't know if they had guitars back then and I couldn't think of another instrument similar from that time so please don't be too harsh.
Warning: There is self-loathing and depression in this story, also mentions of self harm, eating disorder…sort of, and suicide
Frodo sighed as he walked up to his home. He was alone, as he was most of the time these days. He didn't bother turning around at the laughter coming from the bar. All he ever felt there anymore was the sadness that seemed to envelope him more and more every day. His friends had all seemed to start these new lives he wasn't part of. Sam had gotten married (this one hurt him more than anything), Mary and Pippin had seemed to connect in this secret way that no one else seemed to understand. Gandalph was constantly helping Aragorn and Aragorn had Arwin. Legolas and Gimili constantly were at Aragorn's side. Frodo had thought about volunteering as a knight or something of the sort just for a change of scenery but to no avail. They only told him that he needed time off after all he had been through. He knew the real reason was they didn't want him there….no one wanted him.
Frodo held back tears as he picked up his guitar. He started playing the first melody that came to mind. Just letting the words flow from his lips.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
Frodo glanced down smiling bitterly at the lines that ran up his arm. No one knew what he did to himself, but then again no one really cared. Frodo continued on letting the words flow as the feelings that were behind his words caught up with him, making his voice louder.
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down I will make you hurt.
Meanwhile…
Sam was laughing as he talked with Mary and Pippin. They were all walking back to their homes when they had noticed Frodo's lights at his house were still on. "Why don't we go check on him? I've been worried about him…he's different. He doesn't smile like he used to. He doesn't even bother talking anymore. He leaves places so early it's like he doesn't want anyone around." Mary and Pippin nodded
"We've both noticed too. He seems so different. I know he went through a lot but I'm not sure that's what this is." They all smiled deciding to go and make this visit worthwhile. They would make Frodo smile again!
As they came closer Sam stopped frowning. He turned from the door heading to the window. "Do you hear that?" The cousins nodded following Sam to the window just as curious as he was. There they saw Frodo playing his guitar, tears flowed from his eyes. The pain was evident on his face and the concern they had for the friend increased tenfold at that moment. The words coming out of his mouth only made what they felt worse.
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become!
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
Sam turned to Mary and Pippin behind him looking confused and worried. What was Frodo talking about? What were so bad about his thoughts? Why didn't he ask for help? What did he mean they were other people now? Had they changed that much? Had they hurt him so bad? Had they left him?
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt!
If I could start again!
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find
A way…
Sam didn't turn to face the boys behind him as the tears fell freely. Nor did he try to wipe them away. Frodo, by the end, looked so dead. Emotion was gone from his face leaving it a blank canvas. While it was blank there was also something hidden inside him. Something that seemed so dark and destroyed. Sam didn't understand! None of them did! Frodo was a hero to everyone. What did he mean he had let them down? The tears had dried onto Frodo's face, looking so very odd on his emotionless face. Making him look incapable of crying. He sniffled just staring at nothing. He sat there for what felt like a century before moving to put his guitar against the wall and walking to his room. Sam turned to the boys everyone understood. Something had to be done.
The Next Morning
Frodo woke up. For some reason no matter how much sleep he got it was never enough. He felt exhausted constantly. He didn't dream anymore. He had nightmares sometimes that left him screaming and jumping up from his bed covered in sweat. Today though he just didn't feel any fear. He felt nothing. It was becoming a normal feeling as time went on. He got up slowly walking to his kitchen. He opened his counters looking at everything. He made a bowl of oatmeal taking a bite before realizing he didn't see a point in eating it. He left it there seeing no point in moving it. He walked to Bilbo's office. Bilbo, who wasn't here anymore, had left. Most likely because he couldn't stand being around Frodo. Then again who could?
The thought only further depressed Frodo. He sat down on his couch curling up and facing the back of the couch. There was nothing else to look at anyway…
Sam's house
Sam looked at the group of people before him determinedly. Everyone was there. The entire Fellowship. They were all here because Sam had sent for them as soon as they had left Frodo's house. He hadn't said what it was about only that it was urgent. "Sam it's very good to see you." Gandalf said as he came into the house. He sat down beside Gimili.
"Sam, while I'm very happy you called for us, I am curious to why we're here. Though I will gladly stay as long as you'd like." Aragorn said along with Gimili and Legolas who laughed nodding in agreement. Of course they all turned serious when they looked to the usually light hearted Sam whose lips were in a firm line and worry shown in his eyes.
The group looked around and their concern only became heavier when neither Mary nor Pippin cracked a smile. "Sam what's wrong?" Legolas asked, making eye contact with Sam…
"Something's wrong with Frodo."
Sam looked at the group sadness evident in his eyes. "What's wrong with him! Where is he?" Gimili asked suddenly concerned for the young Hobbit he had come to consider a close friend.
"He's not physically injured. There's something wrong with him though! You should have heard the stuff he was saying last night. And he's been acting so different. We're worried about him." The group looked confused.
"What was he saying last night? "It was a confused Aragorn who asked. Marry spoke up seeing as Sam didn't really know how or want to explain it.
"It was the saddest song I've ever heard. He seemed so…dead. I've never seen someone like that. Especially not Frodo! It was like there was nothing in him." Everyone thought about what could possibly be wrong with him. Everyone finally looked to Gandalf who had a look of sadness on his face.
"Gandalf do you know what this is?" Sam asked desperate to help his friend. Gandalf looked up meeting the eyes of everyone in that room that cared for Frodo.
"Aye, but unfortunately this isn't something we can just cure." Everyone looked confused and worry edged its way onto all their faces.
"What can we do then? How do we help Frodo?" Aragorn finally asked after everyone pondered what Gandalf had said.
"Well I can tell you know it won't be easy. I'd have to see for myself but I'd have to say that Frodo's condition is rare now but at a certain time when I was younger it was more common. I had a friend similar to Frodo. Someone who was happy-go-lucky and then suddenly he changed." Gandalf seemed to go off into a memory. Everyone wanted to hear the rest and finally Gimili got too impatient to wait. "Well what happened?"
Gandalf looked to the group, remorse filling his once happy eyes. "He died."
A chill was sent down everyone's spines at the sentence. The idea of a life where Frodo didn't exist saddened each and every one of them in their own personal way. "How did he die?" Legolas asked hesitant to hear the answer.
"He killed himself. Jumped into a volcano…the same one Frodo threw the ring into. Mt Doom."
"Do you think there's some connection?" Pippin asked. His concern for his friend no longer just concern but mixed with fear.
"I do not know. I only hope we can help him."
Frodo's House
Frodo sighed finally starting to feel his muscles ach from staying in the same position for so long. He wasn't really sure how long he had been on the couch but he knew from how low the sun was getting it had been a good six hours. Since he found no reason to get up he closed his eyes preparing for more sleep that would make him feel no less relieved. His eyes snapped open though when he heard the knock on his door. Curiosity to who would actually visit him won over his exhaustion. He went over to the door. "Who is it?"
"Just a few old friends." Frodo's eyes widened hearing a very familiar voice. He opened the door looking at the entire group of his friends he had gone on his adventure with.
"Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn, Gimili what are you all doing here!" He exclaimed throwing his arms around the group.
"Just seeing our old friends. Life in Riverwood has become much too boring recently." Aragorn spoke laughing as he hugged his friend tight.
In truth the entire group had missed the hobbits and had wanted to come see them for some time. Sam's call just made the want more apparent. Frodo smiled happily at the group. "It is so good to see all of you! Do come in, don't mind the mess." Everyone ignored it smiling at the bright smile that appeared on Frodo's face. He led them into the kitchen where they all took seats at his table. "Would you all like anything to eat? I'll make something if you'd like."
Sam grew eager at the moment. "Could you make that broccoli soup with the fish you used to make! I haven't had it in so long."
Frodo smiled at Sam's eagerness, nodding before getting to work on dinner for his friends. Everyone watched and helped him cook for an hour or so before everything was ready and they were just sitting around waiting for the soup to finish cooking. "So how is everything in Riverwood?" Frodo asked genuinely curious about the kingdom his friend happened to rule.
Aragorn shrugged. "It is alright I suppose. Being a King is difficult and stressful but at the end of the day I'm glad everyone's safe and happy." He smiled thinking of all of the people he had helped over time.
"And how is Arwin?" Frodo asked politely even though he had never really known the elf.
"She is fine. She is very helpful when it comes to ruling since her father ruled and all. She says she has no regrets in her decisions and I love her so..." Frodo playfully rolled his eyes, joking about his love being so sickening.
"And what about you Sam? How are you enjoying the married life?" Aragorn asked genuinely curious considering he had always thought the Hobbit had a love for Frodo. It had truly shocked the group when Sam had gotten married to some girl named Rosie. Sam smiled awkwardly not missing the way Frodo's face gained a forced look as he smiled interested in Sam's response.
"It's nice. Rosie seems happy enough and we get by." Sam said with a small smile. The group looked around awkwardly not expecting such a small bland detail from a newlywed.
"So Frodo what have you been up to since being back at the Shire?" Legolas asked trying to make the forced smile on Frodo's face genuine.
"Oh nothing at all actually." Frodo said shrugging. "What about you Pippin and Mary?" Frodo asked trying to get the conversation off of himself.
The two went on about some of the mischief they had caused in the year they had been back. There was laughter all around at the crazy stories they had told until Gandalf caught sight of something that made his heart clench. Before he could even comprehend what he was doing he asked the question on his mind. "Frodo what happened to your arm?" Everyone turned to Frodo confused at what Gandalf was talking about. Frodo immediately knew of course not so casually pulling his sleeves down to cover the lines that marked his wrists all the way up to his elbows.
"What happened Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked tensely not wanting to yell at his friend or come to any conclusions. Frodo made eye contact with Sam not having any explanation and not being able to think of one fast enough…
"It's nothing Sam. A cat scratched me was all." Frodo said trying to shrug it off when Mary looked at him confused.
"Frodo you don't have a cat." Frodo grew agitated at the attention that was on him and the concerned looks he was getting.
"That doesn't mean I never go outside, Mary." It came off a little harsher than he meant to…"Sorry." Mary nodded letting him know it was okay. That was when Frodo got up to get the soup. While his back was turned everyone gave concerned looks. Something was very wrong with Frodo.
After the soup was served everyone ate in silence. Frodo becoming the most uncomfortable. He made sure to cuff his sleeves in his hand as he ate. Something that didn't go unnoticed by members of the group. Finally everyone was done eating and the group moved to the living room where Pippin and Mary told stories and they reenacted parts of the adventure the group had gone on together. Everyone laughed and it was almost as though nothing was wrong at all. That was until…"Frodo do you ever remember the eye?" Something the twins had been talking about reminded Sam of it and he needed to know he wasn't the only one still haunted by it.
Frodo looked over at Sam knowing exactly why Sam asked but also not really knowing how to respond. "Yes Sam I do. Every night. I see all the people who died because I couldn't get rid of the ring fast enough. Couldn't control it…I couldn't even get rid of the ring until Golumn had bitten my finger off! I was weak and because of my weakness people died! That eye haunts me every night."
There was silence as Frodo's outburst filled the room. Frodo stared daggers into the ground refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Sam looked devastated as did many members of the group. Finally it was Gandalf that asked "Frodo do you ever wish you weren't here?"
Frodo slowly looked up his dead eyes meeting his longtime old friend. "Doesn't everyone?" Everyone looked up shocked at the words of the once optimistic Hobbit.
"Frodo certainly you don't mean that? After all you've been through!" Aragon said in shock.
"That's exactly how I know. After everything we've been through what's the point? We save people and we lose people we rule kingdoms that get overthrown! We defeat evil only to have that evil haunt us every day. We hurt ourselves to let the pain take over our fears and doubts that we're even here. When in all reality we wish we weren't. So yes, I mean every word I say" Everyone stared in shock at the broken Hobbit who had once been so joyful. He was clutching his arm and scratching fiercely at something only he could feel.
"Mr. Frodo what has happened to you?" Sam said in a broken voice causing the other Hobbit to look up into his friend's eyes.
"Life happened Sam. Adventure, all the things I wanted and more…and then I realized how good for nothing I am."
"That's isn't true! None of us would be here if it weren't for you. You're the reason any one of us is here. Anybody in this world is even here! You talk about you not meaning anything when you mean everything to so many people here including me!" Frodo looked up in surprise at his friend. He shook his head refusing to believe all the nice things that he had just said.
"No…I'm nothing. I deserve every bit of this pain…you all should go. I don't want to burden you and I definitely don't want you to end up anything like me." Gandalf stood up blocking the Hobbit from retreating to his room.
"No Frodo. You are not a burden and everyone here loves you. You don't deserve this pain. Frodo let us help you before we can't anymore. Don't let this get out of hand." Frodo wanted to believe him so bad! Wanted to reach out for help, wanted to stop feeling this way…but he couldn't.
"I'm afraid it's too late Gandalf." He said with a sad smile.
"It isn't! If you will just let us help you. Frodo we can't lose you." Frodo shook his head tears pooling in his eyes.
"Gandalf that's the thing. Even if I thought you could help me. I don't want to be here anymore. I am sick of the pain I've dealt with for the last year! You say all these nice things but WHERE WERE YOU! I needed you and none of you were here! We all went our separate ways and back to our 'normal' lives when none of us were normal anymore! I needed people and no one was here. I will never feel that again. I refuse to feel that again. As much as I know I deserve it, it's too much. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be gone before you know it." Frodo had gone from passionate screams that scared everyone in the room to a course whisper. Everyone stared in horror registering his words.
"Frodo what do you mean?" Aragorn said in a soft cautious voice. A sort of amused look bestowed Frodo's face as he spoke.
"I mean you all caught me at a perfect time. I've had everything planned for quite some time now. It was nice to see you all tonight. You are the last people I'd want to see before I go." Frodo's smile seemed one of utter sadness.
"Frodo where are you going?" Sam asked in a scared voice. For he feared he already knew the answer. Frodo looked up giving his the sweetest smile he could muster at the moment (Sam did have a special place in his heart after all)
"Some place where I can never be hurt again Sam. Some place nice. Some place where I can't hurt anyone else either." Tears flowed down Sam's cheeks as he shook his head.
"No Frodo. You can't mean….you can't actually plan to…" He couldn't say the words and Frodo knew that.
"Kill myself? Yes Sam that is exactly what I mean." The smile was one of understanding and sympathy for it seemed that Sam actually wished for him not to do it. Though he also knew Sam was a loving person who wouldn't wish death on anyone. Frodo looked at every person in the room. The people he considered his friends-his family- before saying. "I think you should probably go now. Thank you for stopping by. This is goodbye though." With a certain finality he started to head to his room. That was until he felt a firm strong hand on his shoulder.
"NO!" Startled he looked up to see Gandalf glaring down at him determinedly. "Frodo I am so sorry that you have been left like this. I think we can all agree that we all had a part to play in making you feel like this but by no means does it mean we didn't care. I for one am not going to let you do this to yourself. I have lost too many people Frodo! Too many! And I will not lose you!" Frodo looked up at his oldest friend. Gandalf could see the inner battle the Hobbit was facing. It was the same one his friend had faced all those years ago, all Frodo had to do was make the right choice. 'Please make the right choice!' Gandalf begged silently.
Finally Frodo looked up determinedly into his eyes anger and distrust in them. "Why should I believe you?"
"Because we're your friends." Legolas said stepping forward touching the Hobbits other shoulder. Frodo could see the love and care in Legolas's eyes and for what felt like the first time in a long time he felt hope.
"Frodo please let us help you. Do you remember what I told you at the volcano when the ring was destroyed? I said don't let go…don't you dare let go. Not now, not ever." Sam stepped up the desperation obvious throughout his entire body. Frodo looked to each of the men in front of him before seeming to deflate.
"Alright." It was hushed and almost regretful but it was a resignation from this fate he had deemed for himself. Which was a relief to everyone in the room. Everyone in the room rushed forward to hug the Hobbit. While he didn't laugh like he once had he did crack a small smile, which was enough for everyone in the room for now.
Everyone was now sitting as Gandalf healed Frodo's arms. When Frodo had first lifted them up the other Hobbits couldn't help but gasp, while everyone else just stared sadly at the scarred arms. "Frodo why did you do this to yourself?" Sam asked gently as he ran his fingers over one of the scars. Frodo stared at his arms seeming to ponder over that answer.
"To be honest Sam I'm not quite sure. The answer and feelings that came with each cut we're usually different. Sometimes it was to punish myself for things I had done wrong in the past, times I had messed up. Other's we're to help me forget other pain I had been through, and some we're just to help me remember I was alive. To help me feel something." Everyone looked confused as they tried to understand. Everyone except Gandalf who had once heard the same thing from his friend.
"I don't understand." Gimili said. Frodo looked like he was struggling to explain and somehow just knew that Gandalf could help. He looked over to his old friend his eyes asking the question he could not. Gandalf gave him a small smile before looking to the rest of the group.
"People who deal with this deep sadness sometimes feel that they haven't been punished enough for what they think are mistakes. Sometimes the pain helps them to get rid of thoughts that are worse than the pain itself and sometimes they just need to see blood or to just feel that pain to remind them there still here. It becomes therapeutic to them." Gandalf looked to Frodo to make sure he explained correctly when Frodo gave him a small smile and a nod. He hissed though as Gandalf started to heal a particularly fresh cut that had made itself a bit too deep. Everyone looked concerned as Gandalf frowned at the mark…"Frodo this one's going to need stitches. My magic isn't strong enough to heal it." Frodo nodded guilt overriding his body as Gandalf looked so disappointed. Frodo reached out his other still marked arm to put it over Gandalf's hand.
"It's alright, thank you Gandalf. For everything." Legolas came back into the room with a needle and thread and began to work on the particularly nasty cut Frodo had inflicted on himself. Frodo watched Legolas work quickly trying to avoid causing the Hobbit more pain than necessary. "Legolas what is it?" He asked after a few moments of watching Legolas frown as he worked. Legolas looked up meeting Frodo's eyes.
"I just don't understand how you made it to this point." Legolas looked to Frodo not really knowing if he would actually answer but found relief when he finally did.
"I guess I just stopped feeling motivated first. Talking to people led to exhaustion and worry that I was only bothering them, which then led to self-loathing, which led to the pain, that led to cutting, then basic necessities became unnecessary…everything just seems to fade away until you don't really see a point in staying anymore." Frodo said this with a certain disconnected tone as though some of this was already getting ready to fade behind him. He already could feel hope seeping into his skin as his friends gave him encouraging smiles and caring looks. It felt nice to know people cared, no matter what you put them through or what you said.
It was then that Mary frowned something suddenly seeming to click in his head. "Frodo what did you mean 'basic necessities seemed unnecessary?' You still smell fine."
Frodo smiled at his friend amused by his unmeaning jokes. "Things that aren't as noticeable Mary. Like eating, and drinking. Things like that." Everyone cast concerned glances until it was Gandalf who asked.
"Frodo when was the last time you ate?" Frodo looked like he was in deep thought as he considered this. While he looked around though everyone else's concern only continued to increase.
"Umm…I would say it's been a good three weeks. Of course that was only a piece of apple. The last time I ate an actual meal would have been about two months ago…yeah two months ago." Frodo looked back to the group seeming the concern and smiling gently trying to ease it. "It's alright, I will start eating again as soon as you heal me up. Plus it's been so long it doesn't hurt anymore. I'm not in any physical pain."
Sam stood up now walking to the kitchen. "Do not worry Mr. Frodo I shall make you a nice home cooked meal. You will go to bed with a full stomach tonight!" He yelled from the kitchen. Frodo smiled at his closest friend's back. Shaking his head slightly as he went. Gandalf had finally finished healing Frodo's right arm and Legolas was almost finished with his left.
"Frodo is there anything else that needs to be healed?" Gandalf asked knowing that the odds of there being something were very likely while everyone else felt as confused as they had the whole night. Frodo made eye contact with Gandalf guilt swarming in his pupils as he sighed and stood up taking off his shirt. If the ribs that protruded defiantly from his stomach weren't enough to cause a gasp then the criss cross of scars that lined up his entire chest would…"Oh Frodo." Gandalf said feeling nothing but sadness for his friend who he had basically ignored for a good part of a year.
Frodo felt considerably naked while everyone could see his scars and every protruding bone that made itself known. He knew everyone stared because he probably looked like he should have died some time ago. Gandalf began the healing process which seemed to be much easier than his arms considering no major veins chanced being hit. Sam came in looking proud at the bowl he carried. He of course stopped in his tracks upon seeing a shirtless Frodo…while this would have been something he had only hoped to see any time before now it definitely wasn't what he expected. The shock of seeing the person he cared so deeply for looking like a skeleton who had been hit by something terrible was enough to make him almost drop the bowl of soup his friend so desperately needed.
Sam walked slowly into the room having to control his breathing as panic and terror filled his body. Frodo was the first to notice as he was sitting on the floor and everyone was facing him. After a strange glance thrown his way others started to turn. "Sam are you alright?" Frodo said worried for his friend and what he might think of him now. 'He must think I look repulsive.' After Legolas came and took the bowl from his hands allowing him to sit Frodo looked down not able to meet the other Hobbits eyes.
Sam's eyes scanned Frodo's body watching as his scars disappeared. Of course Gandlaf couldn't heal the malnourishment that Frodo had put his body through, that one would take time. Frodo had begun sipping on the soup as Gandlaf healed him. Sam couldn't help but think how mesmerizing Frodo appeared all the time. Even in his current condition his eyes glowed their brilliant blue with gratitude for the people around him. Sam was saddened that Frodo refused to meet his gaze. He didn't know what he had done but he would find out soon. He vowed that Frodo would always have him around.
Slowly the group turned in for the night. Each hugging one another, Frodo especially tight as they each went to their separate rooms. (Frodo had a pretty spacious house and each and everyone of them refused to leave Frodo alone. Not only for support but in slight fear he would change his mind about wanting to get better). Sam sat still as everyone else left leaving him and Frodo in the living room alone…
Frodo still had not looked up even after everyone else had left. Sam gently crawled to the floor so that he was sitting across from his friend. The person he cared so much for. "Frodo what have I done to upset you?" When the received no response he gently put his fingers under Frodo's chin "Frodo look at me." He said smiling a sad smile as he nudged Frodo's head up. Frodo looked at him eyes filled with worry and something else Sam didn't quite understand. "Frodo please talk to me."
Frodo swallowed nervously. He hadn't talked to Sam like this in so long. For some reason he was reminded of that terrible day on the volcano. While everything seemed to be ending and lava surrounded them they sat like this. Feeling so close to one another. It gave Frodo the courage he needed to be open with his friend. "What do you mean what have you done wrong? Sam you've done nothing wrong." Frodo said smiling gently as the Hobbit always put blame on himself even when unnecessary.
Sam looked confused "Then why have you been avoiding me?" Frodo looked down shame and embarrassment covering his features. Sam waited patiently as Frodo thought out what he wanted to say.
"Sam I was embarrassed, embarrassed of how I must look to you. So skinny and frail, so messed up. I must seem so pathetic and disgusting to you." Sam lifted Frodo's chin once again smiling reassuringly at him. Shaking his head.
"Frodo I thought no such thing. I will forever see you for what you are. An amazingly strong, courageous man that has only ever tried to help people and has worked and will continue to work through his mistakes. Someone who is a hero and someone I love deeply." Sam blushed realizing what had just slipped from his mouth. He looked down worried of what the man across from him might say. Frodo stared in shock at his best friend…
"Sam what did you just say?" He needed to know! Sam swallowed just as nervous as Frodo was looking up lovingly at him.
"Frodo I love you. I have for a long time and that feelings never going away." He had had hopes for a long time that Frodo felt the same. Now it need not matter if he felt the same or not. He couldn't go on lying to himself or the man he loved. He refused to look up as Frodo stayed quite.
"Sam." He now repaid the favor of leaning his chin up so that their eyes met. He didn't remove his fingers from his chin as he smiled. "I love you too. I have for as long as I can remember." Frodo hadn't looked or felt so happy in a long time! Sam never wanted to see that smile fade.
"You love me?" Frodo laughed smiling and nodding his head.
"Yes Sam, I love you!" It was loud enough to Sam since they were so close but quiet enough as not to disturb anyone else in the house. Sam not being able to control himself any further put his arms around Frodo kissing him passionately. Frodo pulled away suddenly feeling confusion and guilt override any feelings he had. "Wait Sam!" He pushed away trying to ignore the look the hobbit gave him that made him want nothing more than to resume the kiss. He held Sam by the shoulders. "Sam what about Rosie?" Sam looked down biting his lip, Frodo suddenly felt fear that Sam had said all he said in the spur of the moment and in any second would change his mind and go home to his wife…Frodo knew though that if that's what Sam wished he would accept it. He also had no ill will towards the female Hobbit. He just wished Sam had taken more time to get to know her before rushing into marriage.
Frodo looked up being snapped out of his thoughts as Sam shook his head giving him a small smile. "Frodo Rosie left me a month ago…I hadn't told anyone because we both decided it was for the best. She knew I loved you very soon after we had been married and neither of us wanted that life for the other. She's not in the picture Frodo." Frodo stared in shock.
"She left you." Sam nodded smiling gently at the silly Hobbit, his silly Hobbit. Frodo smiled back kissing Sam gently. "Would it be horrible if I said I was glad?" Sam laughed shaking his head as he pulled Frodo closer.
"No not at all." He said before kissing Frodo once more. They rested their foreheads against one another smiling brighter than either had in so long. After a few moments of just laying there together Sam felt Frodo become heavy against him. He looked down at him smiling as Frodo was sound asleep. He gently lifted him carrying him to his room. As he laid him in bed and tucked him in he started to make his way out of the room when he felt a hand grab his. He looked back at the sleeping form behind him smiling at his best friend "Stay." He heard Frodo's faint mumble. He gently climbed into the bed arms circling around Frodo's back before Frodo's breathing lured him to sleep.
Frodo woke up feeling refreshed for the first time in a year. The surprise was quickly replaced with a happiness that passed through his entire body as he looked at the face of the one person he cared for more than anything in the world. Sam's eyes fluttered opened at the slight movement of Frodo turning to face him. "Morning." Frodo said with a content smile, one that Sam quickly returned. "Breakfast?" Sam asked eager to get Frodo to eat more. Frodo smiled gently before agreeing after seeing the eager look on Sam's face. They got up making their way to the kitchen where they prepared a big meal for everyone. The two smiled at each other as they set the last of it out. By the time everything was done only Legolas and Gandlaf had woken up and smiled upon seeing Frodo look so happy and well rested. The two immediately noticed the difference in the two Hobbits and couldn't help but be happy for the two. "Good morning!" Gandalf said walking further into the kitchen. He received good mornings in return from the two as he sat down looking around at all the food that had been made.
"Morning Legolas!" Frodo said smiling at his quieter friend. He received a laugh in return.
"Good morning Frodo." Legolas couldn't be happier in the transformation from last night. Frodo already seemed to be healing well from the night before. Sam handed him a plate filled with eggs, sasuages, and hot cakes smiling brightly as he sat down. Both men began to dig in as everyone else started to come in. Food was passed around and soon enough everyone was eating. While everyone tried to remain discreet everyone looked to Frodo worried about how he would respond to having to eat. They watched as he hesitated only glancing up briefly giving everyone a small smile before taking a small bite of a hot cake on his plate. After this breakfast was filled with much conversation and laughter as everyone ate until they were content. It took Frodo a longer amount of time and he couldn't finish his plate but it was enough for everyone in the room.
Frodo smiled feeling Sam's hand slip into his giving it an encouraging squeeze. Frodo smiled leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek. The twins and Arragorn looked up somewhat confused asking "Not that I'm not happy for you two but what about Rosie?" Arrargorn had no doubt in his mind that Frodo and Sam were meant to be together but couldn't help but feel sorry for the young girl who from the looks of it had a cheating husband.
Frodo gave Sam a sympathetic look putting his hand on his shoulder. "Rosie left me quite a while ago." Everyone looked surprised before nodding understanding. It was Frodo who spoke up not able to understand one thing…
"How did you all know that something was wrong with me?" Frodo looked up to his friends confusion evident on his face.
"What do you mean?" Mary asked, the randomness of the question throwing everyone off.
"You all just happened to show up the day I was going to end everything. I had said nothing to any of you about my feelings and had given no indication to being upset. How did you all know?"
It was the three other Hobbits in the room who looked down. "Well we may have eavesdropped." A guilty Pippin spoke. Frodo frowned not understanding.
"Eavesdropped on what?" He said looking between the three.
"We heard you singing the other night. After you left the pub. It was such a sad song Frodo, how could we not be concerned?" Mary spoke asked looking to the Hobbit who gave him an understanding look.
"I suppose it's a good thing you were concerned. Thank you my friends. I'm truly blessed to have you all…there's still something I don't understand. How did you happen to be here at the same time?" It was Sam who looked most guilty and once Frodo noticed the twins looking to Sam he looked towards the man next to him…"Sam?" Sam looked up smiling sheepishly not really sure how Frodo would respond.
"After we heard you signing that night I sent for everyone to come. I knew we would need as much help as we could get, plus we all needed to be together." Frodo's face was blank for a minute before he started laughing hard! Everyone else looked confused…
"I struggle to see what is funny." Legolas said looking to the others for help.
Frodo was struggling to breathe as he explained. "I just imagine all of you sitting in a circle talking about me in the most serious way! What did you all have pictures of me hung up too?" He said through his laughter. The others joined in realizing how ridiculous it did sound to have a meeting about a friend. Sam looked embarrassed until Frodo put his arm around him causing him to laugh too. This was all any of them needed, to be together, forever.
Authors note: So this story means so much to me so honestly even if you have the meanest comments ever I'm not changing it. I care about you all and hope this helps you like it helped me. Again if anyone needs to talk about anything I'm here and I do care. Alright have a great Saturday guys! BYEEEE!
