Title: Detox. 1/1.
Author: Zenamydog
Rating: PG-13.
Pairing/Characters: Sam, Dean, Bobby, Castiel.
Warnings: *Spoilers for 4:22.* Won't make sense unless you've seen that episode. While Gen… Anyone who knows me, knows this was, written through 'slash' colored glasses.
Betas: jdsampson and winchesterxgirl.
Disclaimer: Man, if I owned these boys… It would happen just like I write it.
Summary: Starts in the last 2 minutes of 4.22. Sam and Dean make it to safety with Castiel's help, but Sam still needs to purge himself of the demon blood.
This time, makes the last time look like a walk in the park.
The light was so bright it burnt his eyes, but all he could feel was Sam's hands grabbing at him and pulling him closer.
"He's coming," Sam said in an almost whisper.
This was it. Lucifer was rising and they were about to die. "I'm sorry too, Sammy," was all he could think to say as he fell into Sam's arms. His protective streak was as powerful as ever as he futilely wrapped himself around his brother in an attempt to shield him. They both lowered to the floor in the intensity of the light.
Sam lulled in his arms and it was too familiar. So like how this all started. Dean's eyes filled to the brim with tears.
"Sammy?" Dean grabbed him by the face.
"I'm glad we're together…" Sam said weakly and looked at him, tears streaming down.
Dean swiped his thumb across his brother's cheek and nodded. "Me too," he choked out.
Sam's head flopped in his hands and his eyes closed.
Dean brought their foreheads together. "Me too, bro… Me too."
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Sam woke up face down on the double bed. He was perplexed about the fact that he actually 'woke up' that his surroundings were secondary.
His brother was his first real coherent thought. "Dean?" He tried to focus.
"Here, Sammy."
Sam's head shot around and Dean was sitting beside him, or…
Sam couldn't see him clearly. Everything was blurry with white around the edges. "Dean?" He reached out to touch the figure in front of him.
"Yeah, Sammy." Dean returned his grasp.
Sam blinked, but the blurriness wasn't dissipating. He sat up and scrunched his eyes closed.
"Sammy?" Dean's tone changed from concerned to more concerned.
Sam tilted his head up and opened his eyes slowly. "Dean?"
"It's okay, Sammy. Cas, got us out in time. We're safe. Well…" Sam knew Dean was smirking. "As safe as you can be with the apocalypse going on around us. I didn't think Cas had it---,"
"Dean," Sam interrupted quietly.
"He's got more balls than I gave him credit for, is all I'm sayin." Dean continued.
"Dean!"
Dean wasn't in front of him anymore; he was off to the right. "What?"
"I… I can't see."
"What?" Dean was right in front of him again, hand on his face. "What do you mean you can't see?"
Sam could hear the laboring in Dean's breath.
"It's all blurry and white, like… like…"
"So… not black? You're not blind?" Dean's voice rose as he manipulated Sam's face, obviously looking into his eyes.
"I can't see you, Dean. Just your outline."
"Lucifer's image. Sam caught a glimpse of his true form, before I was able to retrieve you." The voice came from his left and was unmistakably Castiel's.
"Fix him," Dean said with a bitterness in his tone and Sam could just imagine he was toe to toe with the angel.
"Now!"
"I don't know if I can."
"What does that mean?"
"I… I've never attempted to… fix this kind of injury."
"Well attempt it, damn it!"
"Dean," Sam said softly. It was only his name, but Dean's change in tone told Sam he understood the warning behind it. Calm down, Dean. We need to work together here.
"Please, Castiel. We've got enough stacked against us without Sam being blind."
Sam's hearing had already become highly tuned as a hunter, but it was true about one sense taking over for the loss of another. Sam could literally tell which footsteps were Dean's and which were Castiel's.
Castiel moved to stand in front of him and put the palm of his hand to Sam's forehead.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Dean asked.
"No," Castiel replied simply.
Dean drew in a breath and Sam thought he might be reconsidering this.
"Do it, Cas," Sam instructed and a second later he felt like a thousand volts of electricity course through his body.
His eyes were scrunched tight when the force inside his head eased do a dull throb. He was trying to control his breathing which was coming out in short shallow huffs.
"Sammy?"
Dean was close and Sam tilted his head up. He opened his eyes slowly and squinted as his irises dilated and adjusted to the light.
"Sammy?" Dean asked again a little more anxiously.
Sam swallowed hard and then let a small grin tilt his lips upwards. Dean was coming into focus. "It worked. You're still a little hazy, but…"
Dean was standing directly in front of him as he looked up and his brother's face became crystal clear.
Like some old fashioned movie, things seemed to switch to slow motion as Sam stood and Dean moved in for the hug without hesitation.
Sam realized he was not the only one shaking as they took as much solace in each other's arms as possible.
When Dean finally broke the hug and held him at arm's length to look at him, Sam could see his brother's absolute apology and his absolute forgiveness in that moments stare. "Me too," Sam whispered before a sudden wave of dizziness had him swaying on his feet.
"Sam?" Dean helped guide him back to sitting on the bed.
"Ahh…" Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dizzy. Just for a second." He took in a deep breath and looked around for the first time. "Where are we anyhow?"
Dean was still staring at him. "Castiel's own private green room."
"Huh?" Sam frowned. "What's that suppose to mean?"
Castiel took a step forward. "I've created a…" He hesitated as he seemed to grapple for the right word. "…bubble, if you will. A place to regroup. Where we're safe… At least for the moment."
Sam nodded and stood up. They looked like they were in one of the thousands of cheap motel rooms they had spent their entire lives living in.
Dean moved to his side casually, but Sam knew he was worried about him. "Yeah, I know. Castiel creates a sanctuary and this is what he comes up with," Dean teased good-naturedly.
"I…" Castiel defended himself. "I picked surroundings I thought you would feel most comfortable in."
"Well you could have made it at least four stars," Dean quipped.
Castiel cocked his head to the side and the left side of his lip tilted upward in an almost grin. He closed his eyes and then a split second later, Sam's eyes were wide and so was Dean's.
The hotel room changed. It was still a hotel room, but the beds were kings and the sheets were satin. There was a self contained kitchen completely stocked and the bathroom was a full-sized room, complete with jet sprays and a spa.
"Now that's more like it," Dean said and slapped Castiel on the back.
Sam felt a stab of pain hit his kidneys, but he was at an angle and Dean was distracted talking to Cas and checking out the water pressure. Neither of them noticed his silent grimace.
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Dean woke and turned his head. Castiel was seated in a chair by the window.
"Shit." He sat up and threw his feet over the side of the bed. "You watching me sleep again, Cas?" Dean glanced over at Sam, who was still sleeping.
"As you have watched over your brother on many occasions."
Dean was being sarcastic, but Castiel obviously took him seriously.
"How long have I been out?"
"Almost seventeen hours," Castiel informed.
"What?" Dean couldn't believe it. He looked at his brother and then back at Castiel. "And Sam?"
"Let him sleep. He'll need it."
The way Castiel spoke had Dean's stomach suddenly doing somersaults. Sure they were in some angel concocted haven, while Lucifer himself was roaming free on earth and Armageddon had started and the whole earth was probably burning as they spoke, but those five words sent chills deeper than any of that could.
"What? Why? What do you mean he'll need it?"
"He still needs to purge the demon blood from his veins, Dean." Castiel sighed. "It will be like the first time."
Dean's jaw tightened. "Well, fix him." It wasn't a request.
Castiel looked sadly at Dean and slowly shook his head. "I can't. Not this."
"Try!" Dean demanded and sucked in a breath when Sam stirred. "Try, damn you," he whispered.
"It would most probably kill him, Dean. Are you willing to take that risk?"
"Most probably?" Dean lost all heat in his tone.
Castiel nodded.
"So…" Dean kept his voice low. "He just has to dry out… Like… like before?"
Castiel nodded again and Dean tried to read his eyes. "And… and then he'll be okay, right?" Dean could hear the quiver in his own voice.
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know, Cas? You've got to know." Dean felt fear and anger mingling in his belly.
"Dean," Cas said softly. "Nothing like this has ever happened before. I have nothing to gauge it against."
Dean opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again when Sam rolled over on the bed to face them.
"It'll work this time," Sam reassured. "It'll work this time because I'm a willing participant."
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Dean flashed back in his mind to being in the exact same position days earlier. Only it was Bobby sitting silently with him as Sam sweated, screamed and hallucinated his way through detox.
This time it was Castiel and now Dean was only a few feet away from Sam's side.
Sam still had periods of coherency and Dean would sit on the bed talking nonsense to him as a way to distract him from the pain.
"Please… Please…" Sam cried out as he rolled around on the sweat soaked sheets.
Dean was instantly wiping back his hair and whispering reassurances.
"He seems to calm when you do that." Castiel observed.
Dean shot him a look. "Is there any way of telling how long this is going to last?"
"He's starting into the second stage. Soon the hallucinations will be more than dreams and we'll need to restrain him."
"How long, Castiel?" Dean asked again with more force.
Castiel returned his gaze. "Until it's done, or… he's dead."
Dean felt his bottom lip quiver. He was too scared to say anything because he'd burst into tears. It was one thing to allow chick-flick moments between him and Sam, but his pride still wouldn't let him show weakness in front of Cas.
"It's not weak, Dean." Castiel seemed to have read his mind. "The… feelings you have for each other. There is no weakness in that."
Dean felt his whole demeanor soften and he grinned. Family didn't change. "Maybe there's hope for you yet, Ca---,"
Sam suddenly convulsed on the bed and cried out.
"Here we go," Dean said under his breath as both he and Castiel grabbed hold of Sam.
Sam's body was rigid as the seizure took hold and the demon blood, or lack thereof, overpowered any control Sam had over his limbs.
Castiel moved to grab the knife from Dean's sheath and then with the tip of it pricked his finger.
"What are you doing?" Dean asked urgently.
"This might work," Castiel explained as he reached to touch Sam's forehead.
Dean grabbed his wrist. "Might's not good enough! You said you could kill him."
Castiel looked at him and then pointedly back at Dean's hand. "This is only a pain killer. At worst it will do nothing."
Dean blinked and let go of his wrist. "Better late than never," he said bitterly.
"Vos sentio haud poena. Haud poena. Planto is sic," Castiel spoke quickly, but Dean knew enough Latin to make out the 'no pain' part. He touched Sam and painted a cross on his forehead with his blood.
Sam immediately stilled.
Dean closed his eyes in relief. "Thank you," he said, but he wasn't sure he was saying it to Castiel.
Sam had been withdrawing and in agony for almost ten hours and he was pissed that Castiel had a way of helping and didn't use it.
Dean covered Sam over and went to get a cold compress. "He's still got a high fever," he said and looked at Castiel.
"All I can do is ease the pain," Castiel explained.
"Yeah," Dean chided. "Like I said. Better late than never." He returned to patting his brother's forehead with the compress.
Dean knew Castiel was looking at him in the way he did when he didn't completely understand a human trait.
With his back to Castiel, Dean broached the subject. "So… What's going on down there? Is Lucifer burning up the place or…" He glanced quickly over at the angel.
"The earth is not on fire, if that's what you mean."
Dean checked Sam over visually one more time before putting the compress beside the bed. He turned to sit on the edge of the bed and looked at Castiel. "So what is happening then?"
Castiel averted his eyes. "Everything is as it was. There seems to be no visible change."
"What?" Dean frowned. "What does that mean?"
Castiel shrugged. "It appears Lucifer is interested in more than simple destruction."
Dean stood from the bed and there was an edge in his tone this time. "What the hell does that mean?"
Castiel stood up and glared uncharacteristically at him. "I don't know, Dean." He moved forward and his face flashed with a spike of anger. "I wish to God I did, but I don't! I'm as lost here as you are."
The tension in Dean's jaw slackened. "Okay, okay I believe you. Don't get your knickers in a twist."
"Knickers?"
Dean half shook his head and half grinned. "Never mind."
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"Sammyyyyyyyyyy… Sammyyyyyyyyyy…" Sam could hear someone's voice calling to him in the distance, but no matter how many doors he went through he couldn't find it.
The place was a maze, like the one they'd been in when they killed the Rakshasa. Why here? Why now?
Because your still afraid of clowns. Sam's mind supplied.
"Sammy! Help me, Sammy!"
Sam tried to make his mind focus as he moved through the maze of mirrors and turns and doors.
"Where are you?" he called out.
"Over here, Sammy! Help me, please?" the voice continued to call. It sounded like Dean, but… but not.
Sam turned the corner and stopped suddenly when he found what he was looking for. His heart rate sped up. "Adam?"
"Hey, bro," Adam said with a sad smile on his lips. "I've been waiting for you."
"What?" Sam said. "Why?"
Adam tilted his head sideways and took a step towards him. "Why?" His face and tone changed to snide. "You really need to ask me why?"
Sam knew what was coming. The guilt he felt over not saving his little brother was still fresh. "I… I tried, Adam. I wanted to teach you. I wanted to---,"
"Wanted?" Adam moved forward to look up at him. "You should have saved me, Sam. You shouldn't have let those animals rip into me and carve me up slowly."
"I'm sorry," Sam said. He could feel tears starting to brim in his eyes.
"I watched as they pulled my intestines out slowly." He moved in slightly closer. "I was still alive as they cut through my ribs to get to my heart! I watched them eat my kidney before it all went mercifully black."
"I'm sorry," Sam said again, but there was no holding back the tears. "I didn't know, I---,"
"You should have known!" Adam shouted in his face. "You should have looked after me, just like Dean always looked after you. I was your little brother and you failed me."
"You're right. I'm sorry, I should have been there." Sam couldn't stop the tirade of apologies coming from his lips. "Adam, if I knew then what I know now it would have been different. I would have---,"
"What?" Adam snapped. "What would you have done, Sam?" He turned away and paced the room. "Face it! You're a lousy big brother." He paced some more. "And a lousy little brother. Look what you've done to Dean."
Sam's tears streamed down his face. "I didn't know. I just wanted to stop Lucifer rising."
"Oh, yeah…" Adam laughed. "Crack up job on that, by the way."
Sam opened his mouth, but what could he say. The kid was right. All of this… The whole thing… was his fault.
"You don't know what family means," Adam continued. "You've never known what that's meant and now you've killed the one person who loved you enough to give up his entire life to look after you." He was standing directly in front of him. "This is how you repay him."
"Dean… Dean's not dead." Sam's voice shook. "I'll… I'll fix things."
"Isn't he?" Adam smirked. "He's dead inside and you did that."
Sam stood to his full height. "I told you. We're gonna fix it."
"You can't, Sam!" Adam spat. "You can't and you shouldn't even try! He deserves better than you! He deserves the kind of brother that appreciates him and remembers that he went to hell and back… literally, to keep you safe!"
"I know," Sam conceded as his mind seemed to fold in on itself. "You're right. I'm… I'm a monster."
"No, Sam. It's not even about that. You were tricked into killing her and breaking the seal. Dean understands that. What he doesn't understand is why the man he spent his whole life raising and protecting turned on him like you did."
"I… I didn't…"
"Yes you did, Sam." Adam pushed him backwards with his hand. "Not only did you fail me as a big brother. You failed him as a younger one. You don't deserve him, Sam! You're not worthy!" He shoved hard again. "You never were!"
Sam couldn't say anything except "no," as he shook his head in denial.
"You should have taken Gordon's advice. Followed his example. He knew what he was and what he did. He was going to commit suicide, you should have too."
"No…" Sam took another step backward and now his back was against one of the mirrored walls. "No."
"Dean told you what he really thought of you!" Adam was shouting in his face. "You're a blood-sucking freak. You don't deserve a brother like Dean. You said it yourself. He's better off as far away from you as possible!"
"He needs me," Sam cried.
"He's better off without you and you know it!"
"No," Sam said again, but even he wasn't convinced.
"Do us all a favor, Sam." Adam's voice was suddenly quiet and compelling. "He's better off without you. You know what you need to do… Do it for Dean. To keep him safe," he added a moment later.
Sam frowned and half nodded. He's better off without you. He's better off without you. He did know what he needed to do. "Okay."
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Dean and Castiel exchanged glances when Sam sat up from the bed and through his legs over the side. He threw the remainder of the blankets off of him and stood up.
"What the hell?" Dean said as Sam started to walk towards the bathroom without saying a word.
"Hey!" Dean intercepted him. "Hey, bro. It's good to see you up and about, but if you need to use the john that bad you only had to ask." Dean halted Sam's forward movement with his hand.
Even though they were open, there was a faraway look in Sam's eyes and Dean looked over at Castiel.
"He's still asleep," Castiel said after looking into Sam's eyes.
"Asleep? Like… What? Like he's sleepwalking?"
"Yes. Exactly like he's sleepwalking."
"Oh great." Dean rolled his eyes and started to lead Sam back to the bed.
"Has he ever done this before?" Castiel asked with concern in his voice.
"No, never," Dean said as he settled Sam back in bed and then looked back at Castiel. "Should… should I wake him?"
"I don't know."
Dean swallowed hard. Normally he would wake Sam from any nightmare, but he hadn't had one for so long and Dean wasn't completely sure this was in fact the same thing. He'd heard somewhere that you should never wake a sleepwalker. He sat down on the bed and stared for a moment. Sam's eyes were closed and looked like he was simply sleeping again.
The decision was made when Dean stood from the bed, content on letting Sam stay asleep and Sam sat up in the bed almost immediately.
With the exact same mechanical like movements, Sam threw the blankets off of him and stood up.
Dean moved to stop him again, intent on waking him.
"Dean, don't!" Castiel instructed.
Dean did stop, but didn't let Sam move past him.
"Maybe we should see what he's intending to do?"
Dean thought about that for a moment and stepped out of Sam's way. "Maybe we should."
Sam continued to walk forward, seemingly oblivious to their presence. As he moved into the bathroom Dean followed and looked back at Castiel. "If he's just taking a leak then we're both gonna be red faced."
Castiel grinned.
Sam walked over to the spa and started to fill it.
"He's dreaming about having a spa?" Dean said disbelievingly.
"It appears that way."
"You got to be shitting me?" Dean grinned as he watched his brother stand over the rapidly filling tub.
The grin slipped when Sam started to move into the tub fully clothed.
The spa was quite large and about four feet deep.
Sam walked down the three steps it took to reach the bottom. He crossed his legs and sat down. The water was filling, but it was only around his waist at this stage.
"What's he doing?" Any thought of teasing Sam later about this had gone.
The water was getting up towards Sam's neck now and he was just sitting there.
"Jesus." Dean was really not amused. "We need to wake him."
"No. We need to know if his intention is to--" Castiel stopped suddenly and looked into his eyes.
"Intention is to what?" Dean knew what the implication was, but refused to believe it. "Gank himself?" Dean shook his head. "He's dreaming, you said it yourself."
"What if he's dreaming about… emgankingem himself?" Castiel jutted his chin at Sam.
The water was up to Sam's chin and he didn't look like he was moving anytime soon.
Dean waded into the spa and grabbed Sam under the arms. "Okay, that's it. Time to get up and wake up, Sammy."
Sam resisted Dean's attempt to make him stand even though Sam's head was now tilted upwards in order to breathe.
Dean felt panic starting to rise when the water was over Sam's mouth and he was holding his breath. "Get up, damn you!" He started to pull frantically at Sam.
"Dean," Castiel said softly.
"A little help here?" Dean said angrily as he started to shake his brother.
Castiel moved two fingers and suddenly the taps stopped and the plug pulled out.
Dean glared. "No one likes a smartass," he said as he crouched to be at eyelevel with Sam. The water had all but drained and Sam was still sitting there, dripping wet and glassy eyed.
"That's it, Sammy, you've scared me enough for one lifetime." He drew his hand back and slapped Sam hard across the face. "Wake up!"
The force of the slap had Sam falling to his side and Dean catching him.
Sam moaned.
"Sammy?" Dean focused back on his brother.
Sam had his hand to the side of his face. "Why am I sitting fully clothed and dripping wet in the middle of the spa and…" Sam's voice rose an octave. "Did you just bitch slap me?"
Dean grinned. More out of relief than any real humor. "You decided to take a bit of a dip in your dreams," he explained as he encouraged Sam to his feet.
"Dreams!" Sam's face changed suddenly and he grabbed at Dean's elbow. "Adam."
Dean was confused. "Adam?"
"He was in my dream. He said I didn't…" Sam trailed off.
"What? What did he say?"
Sam shook his head. "Never mind." He was trembling and wrapped his arms around himself.
Caretaker mode took over and Dean reached for towels. "Let's get you out of these clothes."
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Castiel watched as Dean's movements were almost mechanical and very automatic. He watched as Sam cooperated as Dean stripped him of his wet clothes and guided him into the shower. He watched as Dean turned the tap on and checked the water temperature, all the while with one hand placed gently on Sam's shoulder.
Castiel reached back into Jimmy's memories to try and understand what he was seeing. Family... Love… Devotion… That's what had drawn something deep within him out and to the surface of his consciousness. The father he knew, had got this part right. Dean and his steadfast commitment to Sam proved that.
Family was everything.
Dean stayed by Sam's side as Sam soaped himself up and started to look human again under the warmth of the spray.
It seemed like it was only that moment Dean realized Castiel was even there. "Do you mind?"
"Do I mind what?" He didn't understand the question.
Dean sighed. "Get out, Cas. Wait until we're finished here."
Castiel stood for a second trying to figure out why.
"Cas, we need some privacy and… and you're making me nervous just staring at us like that."
Castiel nodded and did as he was asked. Privacy. Yes… He did understand that concept, but considering he and other angels had been living inside of Dean's head for almost a year now, he still couldn't comprehend Dean's modesty. He smiled. It was these kinds of quirks that endeared him to these humans.
Sam had a large towel around his hips and another one over his shoulders when they both emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later.
Dean still had Sam by the elbow and Castiel wondered if he'd broken contact for even a moment.
Sam sat on the edge of the bed, while Dean moved to the chest of drawers and started opening them. Sam still looked unwell, but some of the color had returned to his face.
"Ahh, Cas?" Dean said as he closed the last drawer. "In this little bubble of ours, did you think to conjure up any fresh clothes?"
Castiel smiled. He hadn't, but he never needed to change. Every thread on his body was incapable of remaining unclean for very long. He waved his hand and indicated to Dean to reopen the drawers.
They were stuffed full of clothes this time and Dean pulled out a black and white AC-DC t-shirt. His face looked confused when he held it up and then looked over at him, as if for an explanation. "This was my favorite t-shirt."
It was Castiel that was confused. "You asked for clothes…"
Dean closed his eyes for a second and explained, "I don't have it anymore. It was ruined when I was fifteen and I had to stop my dad from bleeding out."
Dean took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Castiel could almost see the switch flick back on as he opened another drawer and searched. He grabbed sweat pants and shirt and tossed them gently into Sam's lap.
"You think you can manage or do you need me to do that for you too?"
Castiel wasn't sure why Dean would ask such a thing and he was even more perplexed when Sam looked up at Dean and called him a jerk.
Dean responded by calling Sam a bitch, but it was clear that the sentiment did not match the words' literal meaning.
Castiel shook his head and interrupted their unspoken connection. Yet another thing he knew his true father had gotten right. "What was your dream about, Sam?"
Sam startled and looked over at him. "I'm… I'm not really sure."
Castiel thought he might be lying.
"You said Adam was there," Dean prompted.
Sam's eyes shifted away from Dean's and Castiel was certain.
"Now is not the time to hide things from us, Sam."
Dean glared at Castiel and then looked back at Sam. "Sam? Is he right? Are you holding back?"
Sam lowered his head and nodded slightly. "He… Adam said that you'd be better off without me," he admitted in a whisper.
Dean furrowed his brow. "So… what? He convinced you to off yourself?"
Sam nodded again. "He's right. I did this. I'm responsible for the end of the world."
"Oh, Jesus," Dean quipped. "That's you, Sam. You know that, right? That's just guilt and shit coming out in your dreams."
"Yeah… I guess."
"No guess about it." He looked over to Castiel for support. "Right?"
"I'm not so sure."
"What?"
"His body needs to release the toxicity. My blood has shielded it from the pain, but…"
"But, what?" both Sam and Dean asked at the same time.
"Maybe it's bleeding out in his mind."
Dean was sitting beside Sam on the bed. "What does that mean?"
"It is just a theory," Castiel deadpanned.
"Oh great!" Dean slapped his knee and stood up. "So if it is, then…?"
"I do not know."
"Ahh," Sam rolled over on the bed grabbing his stomach.
"Sammy?" Dean sat back down and tried to get Sam to face him.
"Like… someone's cutting my guts out with a razorblade."
Sam was rolling and rocking on the bed. His face had lost all color and Dean looked over at him. "Fix him."
"I told you. I cannot fix this."
"Then take away the pain again!"
Sam had curled into a ball on the bed and Dean seemed to have drained of color also.
"Cas, please?"
Castiel moved forward. He didn't know for sure, but he had a bad feeling about this.
Sam moaned again and Dean turned to him. "It's okay, Sammy." He put his hands on his brother's shoulders. "Cas is going to fix you." He unsheathed his knife and handed it to him.
Castiel did as he was bid and Sam settled straight away.
He watched Dean fuss over Sam. Swiping his hair away and covering him over with the blankets. He didn't move from his side until Sam was asleep again.
Yes. His true father really did get the 'family' thing right.
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Not worthy… He deserves better than you… Better than you… Bloodsucking freak… Better off without you… Without you…
Sam put his hands over his ears. "No!" he screamed. "It's not true! It's not true!"
"It is and you know it!" Adam was in his face and he was back in the maze.
"No," he said again and turned and walked through one of the doors.
Adam appeared in front of him and halted his movement. "Sam, Sam, Sam. I thought you cared about Dean. I thought you wanted what was best for him." Adam was in his face. "I thought you loved him!"
"I… I do."
"Then do the right thing, Sammy. Do what Dean wants you to do. Get out of his life for good."
"Lucifer… he… We need to work together, we…"
Adam burst into laughter. "Oh, Sam… Haven't you screwed that up enough already? You're the one that broke the final seal. You're the one that set Lucifer free. You really think Dean wants help from a freak like you. You caused all of this, Sam, or have you forgotten that?"
Sam swallowed hard. His head hurt and Adam's voice echoed in his head.
Not worthy… He deserves better than you… Better than you… Bloodsucking freak… Better off without you… Without you…
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Dean sat opposite Castiel at the kitchen table. His mind tried to stay focused, but he was tired and worried.
"You should sleep," Castiel advised.
"No… Not yet. Not until I know Sam's okay."
"That could be awhile."
"Doesn't matter." Dean shrugged. "It's my job."
"I can watch over you both."
Dean grinned. He wanted to laugh, actually. "No thanks, it's my job."
Castiel didn't say anything, but Dean could tell he didn't really comprehend. "So… What about you? Do angels sleep?"
"There is… down time. Usually to give the host body a rest."
"Oh, really?" Dean was being a smartass. "So… how often does Jimmy get let out then?"
Castiel looked at him and if Dean wasn't mistaken, there was a hint of hurt in his eyes. "Once, maybe twice a year."
"Huh." Dean nodded. "Poor bastard."
"He asked for this," Castiel said and stood from the table.
Dean was about to say, 'yeah, because you were in his daughter,' but the look on the angel's face made him close his mouth again.
Castiel had actual emotions showing on his face that he had no idea how to mask.
"Look… Cas I didn't mean---," Dean stopped mid sentence when Sam sat up on the bed and threw the covers back.
"You've got to be kidding."
"I do not think that whatever is going on inside Sam's head is… kidding."
Dean rolled his eyes as he moved to Sam's side. "Let's see what he does." He didn't believe… Didn't want to believe, that Castiel could be right. Sam wasn't the suicidal type.
Sam didn't move into the bathroom this time, he went into the kitchen. The moment he opened the knife draw, Dean panicked.
"Sam!" He grabbed his brother's arm and shook. "Wake up, Sammy, you're sleepwalking again!"
Sam blinked, but continued to reach for the sharpest knife in the drawer.
"Sam!" Dean shouted again. The veins in his neck started to protrude as he needed more strength to hold Sam back.
Castiel stepped forward and touched Sam on the back of the head.
Sam stumbled forward straight into Dean who was ready and had no trouble in holding his brother up. "Easy there, Sammy."
It wasn't quite a hug, but Dean felt the loss when Sam steadied and took his own weight.
Dean held him at arm's length and looked into his eyes. "Sam? You with me?"
"Dean?" Sam looked confused.
"Do you know what happened?" Castiel asked.
Sam grimaced. "Another dream."
"What were you gonna do with that knife, Sam?" Dean was angry. He wasn't exactly sure why he was angry, hell… Sam had no control over this, but…
Sam took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. He looked directly into Dean's eyes, but said nothing. He didn't need to. It was a rhetorical question.
Dean set his jaw and led Sam back to the bed. He sat down next to him. "What's going on in that freak head of yours, Sammy?"
Sam flinched, but Dean was mad, so he wasn't about to worry that Sam had issues with that word.
"Adam," Sam said as he laid back down on the bed.
"Oh, no…" Dean grabbed his shoulder when he tried to roll away. "What about Adam?"
Sam looked up at him and then anywhere but him. "I told you. He… he said I should… That you're better off without me."
Dean felt his face flush. "So he tells you that and now I've got to be on suicide watch every time you take a goddamned nap?"
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't cut it, Sam. You've got to snap out of it."
Sam's jaw dropped. "And how do you purpose I do that?"
"I…" Dean glanced at Castiel. "I don't know, but cut it out, okay?'
"Sure, Dean, no problem. I'll just have a little pow-wow with my subconscious and tell it to knock it off!"
"Gentlemen."
"Damn straight! This is just the demon blood---,"
"Gentlemen!"
Both of them turned to Castiel. "What?" they said in unison.
"Your friend Bobby has found a way to summon me. I'm compelled to go."
"What?" Dean stood up and moved toward him. "Bobby's alive, he's okay?"
"It would appear so."
Dean turned and grinned at Sam, who returned his grin. "Good ol' Bobby."
Castiel didn't look amused, though and Dean could have sworn he saw a flicker of pain in his eyes. "It weakens me to resist. I must go."
Less than a second later Castiel was gone.
The grin on Dean's face slipped as he turned his attention back to Sam, but he was calmer now at least. He walked back to the bed and sat down.
Sam looked up at him and Dean sucked in a breath.
"What?"
Dean stared for a second and then got up to retrieve a small hand mirror from the bathroom. "This is new," he said as casually as he could and handed Sam the mirror.
Sam looked at his reflection. "Oh god." He swallowed hard and sat up. "There's no getting away from it is there? I really am a monster."
The very center of Sam's pupil was pale yellow. It waxed and waned slightly in brightness, but it was distinctively there.
"You're not a monster, Sam. This is good. This is the toxins coming out."
Sam looked up at him slowly. "Not a monster? Look at me, Dean. I'm everything you said I was. All prettied up and complete with yellow eyes." He threw the mirror across the floor as he stood from the bed. "I'm a bloodsucking freak, just like you said. Adam's right. You're better off without me."
Dean was toe to toe with his brother the second Sam mentioned Adam's name. "That's not real, Sam. Adam is just in your head."
"He was our brother, Dean."
"Yeah, okay, but he's dead now and at peace. What's going on in that head of yours is exactly that. Going on inside your head."
Sam turned away and moved slowly into the kitchen. "Guess it's a mute point now anyhow."
"What do you mean?"
Sam looked in the small bar fridge and pulled out a beer. "Want one?"
"Sammy?"
"It's the end of the world, Dean. Do you want one or not?"
Dean reluctantly accepted the beer from Sam and watched as Sam chugged down his bottle while he was still unscrewing the top.
Sam pulled another beer from the fridge and went into the mini living room. He sat heavily on the couch and stared at the TV in front of him.
Dean sat down beside him and looked at the blank screen. "Do you think it'd work?"
Sam shrugged and reached forward. "Let's find out." He grabbed the remote control and pushed the red ' on' button.
The television came to life instantly on channel one and it was clearly an old World War II movie.
"Well I'll be damned," Sam said as he started to flick through the channels.
"We already are, bro." Dean slapped Sam on the back. "Woah… hold up, go back one," Dean instructed, leaving his hand casually on Sam's shoulder.
Every single one of them worked. They seemed to have an infinite amount of channels.
Sam flicked back one and rolled his eyes when the two naked girls on the screen started to moan and were in the process of devouring one lucky man.
"Porn? Dean, seriously…"
"What? You said it yourself. It's the end of the world. Gotta live for the moment."
Sam grinned and continued to flick through the channels.
"Dude, you're no fun," Dean whined good-naturedly.
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Dean settled back in the couch and took a swig of his beer and Sam felt a small chill in the place where his hand had been. He was searching for a news channel though and he didn't let himself ponder too much.
He really was a girl. Dean had been right about that too. He was tired and he felt sick to the very core of his stomach. His muscles ached and he felt like he could pass out anytime, but all he wanted to do was to hold Dean and make him understand. Make him forgive him.
Sure, he's here with me now, Sam thought, but… It's not like he's got a choice.
"This is the CBS 8 o'clock news. I'm Clive Jones , welcome. We start off our coverage tonight with reports on the 6.6 earthquake that hit Ilchester, Maryland, just over two hours ago. For more it's over to our reporter in the field, Sarah Toner."
The sound of sirens rang out and there were images of raging fires, demolished buildings and victims both dead and hurt, being carted off as the camera panned into Sarah.
Sam tensed a little and put the remote control down. He glanced sideways at his brother who was staring intently at the TV.
Sarah held her fingers to her earpiece and looked straight into the camera.
"Yes, Clive, thank you. As most of you are already aware the 6.6 quake hit Maryland at exactly six PM tonight. As you can see by the scenes behind me the devastation is a lot worse than any previous earthquake in this region. It's believed…"
"Oh, Jesus…" Sam vocalized his despair. "Lucifer."
"Of course, Lucifer, dude." Dean stood up and paced a few steps. "And where is he, by the way?" Dean's tone was sarcastic.
"Lucifer?"
"Jesus! Isn't he supposed to be at God's right hand side?"
Sam furrowed his brow. "Huh." Dean was right. Where did Jesus sit in all of this?
"It's too early to see the full extent…" Their attention turned back to the screen. "The death toll is expected to be high with over one hundred already confirmed dead. The experts are saying this is no ordinary earthquake and…"
"Damn straight no ordinary earthquake," Dean said bitterly.
Sam suddenly felt tired. So very very tired. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He caused this. This was all his fault.
"You okay?"
"Headache," Sam lied.
"Yeah, well…" Dean moved over and grabbed Sam on the arm. "Too much excitement for one day. You need to get back to bed." He touched Sam's forehead. "Your fever's up again. Castiel's mojo must be wearing off." He pulled at Sam's arm. "Come on."
Sam let himself be led as the two quick beers he'd downed started to take their effect. "Do you have any idea how sorry I am, Dean?"
"Yeah, yeah…" Dean dismissed as he sat Sam on the bed and tried to push him down into a laying position.
"I'm serious, Dean." Sam resisted. He was aware his words were a little slurred. "I'd give anything for you not to hate me."
Dean stilled at his words and looked at him. A moment passed and Sam could not read his brother's face.
"You're a stupid son-of-a-bitch. You know that?"
"Yeah…" Sam felt his bottom lip tremble. "I'm sorry."
"Will you quit saying that!" Dean's voice rose to a,em I'm really pissed at you,/em level. "It's not your fault. Between Ruby and those sad-assed rogue angels, you didn't stand a chance! If anyone's to blame…"
Dean trailed off and moved to turn away, but Sam grabbed his wrist. "Almost… I almost changed my mind. I wish I had."
Dean squinted his eyes in question. "What stopped you? Ruby?"
"You."
"Me?"
"Your phone call. I mean… You had every right to say what you said. I am a blood sucking freak. I don't---,"
"Wait. What? I called you, yeah, but I never said anything remotely close to that."
What? "You called me a vampire, said I wasn't me anymore and there was no going back."
"Son-of-a-bitch!" Dean punched the air.
"I'm sorry."
"That wasn't me, Sam. Don't you get it? I was pissed, sure… Christ, I still am, but… I didn't say those things to you, Sam. It was Zachariah."
"Zachariah?"
Dean nodded. "He's part of it. Angel gone bad, just like Uriel. Made sure you killed Lilith and broke the seal."
Sam blinked as he tried to take in what Dean was saying and when he did, there was only one question that came to mind. "So you think… You think I can really go back. Be your brother again?"
Dean looked at him then and the anger drained from his face. Sam could physically see the words choking him up as he swallowed hard.
"You are my brother, Sam. You're my family and ain't nothing ever going to change that. I should never have said what I did. I'm… I'm sorry."
"Dean?" Sam stood up and took a step towards Dean. He sobbed when Dean met him half way and embraced him.
"It's okay, Sammy." Dean held him close and tight. His sobs turned into full-blown crying as the release of tension had him clawing at Dean's back. Dean didn't let go.
"I could never hate you, Sammy."
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Sam had all but cried himself to sleep and now Dean was watching him like a hawk. Castiel's mojo was wearing off, judging from Sam's body heat and the sudden stabbing pains he'd experienced briefly, but Dean wasn't taking any chances. Sam had all kinds of guilt going on inside of him, but he wasn't about to let the demon blood make Sam do something about it.
There was a flapping sound and a flicker of light in the corner of Dean's eye. Castiel had returned.
"Cas?" Dean was pleased to see him.
Castiel stood, blank faced as he usually did, but Dean could see the dullness in his eyes and there were heavy dark circles under them.
Dean stood and indicated for Castiel to follow him into the mini-living room. "Are you okay? You look like shit."
"I feel like shit."
Dean's eyes widened. He wasn't expecting Castiel to agree with him. "What's going on?"
"How's Sam?"
Dean glanced towards the bedroom. "'bout the same, but what do you mean you feel like shit."
Castiel grinned. He paced a few steps and looked away from Dean when he spoke. "I didn't expect to have to return to earth quite so soon. It's drained some of my resources."
"Resources?"
Castiel waved his hand. "This… Everything you see. It requires energy to maintain."
"You're doing this?"
"Of course, who else? God has left the building, remember?"
"Wow, Cas." He smirked. "That was almost sarcastic. I am proud."
Cas made an attempt to hide the smile when he turned to face him, but it had gone to his eyes and they looked less haunted.
"Sam… Can he be moved?"
Dean's grin slipped. "Why?"
"Bobby and I have created a safe-house on earth. Safe against demons… and angels."
Dean glanced towards the bedroom. "He should be okay. When do---,"
There was a loud cry from Sam. "Or not…" Dean moved quickly and was beside Sam almost instantly.
He was awake and curled up on the bed, rolling and holding his stomach. "Razors," he got out weakly and Dean closed his eyes against the images the word conjured up. Images of Alistair and the rack.
Sam was squeezing his arm against the pain when suddenly it stopped and Sam was leaping from the bed, backing away, his eyes fixed on something that Dean couldn't see.
"Sammy?"
It was as if Sam couldn't hear him. It was clear he was hallucinating.
"What is it, Sammy? What do you see? Is it Adam?" Dean tried to connect on his level, but Sam was nothing if not a good hunter and before Dean knew it, Sam had ducked, weaved and unsheathed Ruby's knife.
Sam stood with his back to the wall, Ruby's knife poised, ready for a fight.
"Sammy, calm down." Dean was trying to take his own advice. How the fuck had Sam been so quick?
Sam was looking past Dean at the invisible monster in his mind. "I won't. You're lying!" Sam screamed and raised the knife a little higher.
"Give me the knife, Sam!" Dean knew he was wasting his breath and turned questioning eyes to Castiel.
Castiel flicked his wrist and the knife flew from Sam's hand. They watched as the knife spun across the room and then stopped suddenly, suspended in mid air.
Dean gasped when his gaze flicked back to Sam and he had his hand stretched out, recalling the knife.
The knife flew instantly back into Sam's grasp and he turned his attention on Castiel. "I will not do it, you hear me!" Sam lifted his hand and Castiel flew back several feet, before being pinned to the wall, two feet from the floor.
Panic flared. How the fuck was Sam doing this? Shouldn't Castiel be in control? After all, they were in his sand box, weren't they?
"Cas?"
Castiel closed his eyes and the look of concentration crossed his face. A moment later he slid from the wall and took a step forward.
"You're lying" Sam spat again. "He needs me!" He looked just to the left of Castiel.
"He thinks Adam's here," Dean stated the obvious as he inched closer to his brother.
Castiel took another step forward and Sam raised his hand, but this time so did Castiel.
Dean saw a bright light project from Sam's fingers, but it was met with an even brighter light from Castiel. Like the opposite to a tug-of-war, like something out of Star Wars, the lights met and pushed at each other for dominance.
It was easy to see Sam starting to fold under the psychic battle as his face lost all color and he dropped to one knee. Castiel's light was gaining ground.
"Cas, stop!"
Dean was only a foot away from being able to tackle Sam for the knife, but the moment Cas stopped, Sam got to his feet quickly, knife ready.
Always a good hunter.
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"See! I told you! He's even set the angel against you. Face it. He HATES you, Sam."
Sam leaped from the bed. "How'd you get in here?" He backed up to the wall.
"You can't hide from the truth, Sammy. In my playground or in yours."
"No," Sam sobbed, but he could feel his resolve wavering. "He doesn't hate me. He said he could never do that."
"Oh, look…" Adam took a step forward, his face softened and his voice took on a gentle tone. "I'm not saying that Dean's never loved you, Sam. He has. God…" He threw his arms up for emphasis. "He's proved that he did over and over again. Shit, the man went to hell for you." Adam moved in close to Sam and spoke sadly. "But, now…"
Sam couldn't help the flinch as he stepped backwards. "He's forgiven me," his voice was small and without conviction.
"You don't really believe that. You can't be that naive, Sam. That was out of respect for what you used to mean to him." Adam moved away and gestured towards Castiel. "He's got God on his side now. If it wasn't for the fact that you all have to hideout and he's got no choice, he'd be long gone."
Adam seemed to disappear for a second, flicker in and out, but before Sam could blink, something else flickered in the corner of his eye and he scrunched his eyes tight. A brief, almost painful, wave of uncertainty filtered into his brain. Something was on the edge of his consciousness, he knew it, but it was just out of reach.
"Gone?" The word triggered something that made him look around the room. He could feel his heart rate go up. He could see Castiel, all stony faced and silent, but…
"Where's Dean?" Sam's eyes narrowed. "Where's my brother?"
Sam knew he was too weak to put up much of a fight, but fear for his brother's life had given him extra strength before.
"What the fuck have you done to my brother?"
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"No," Sam sobbed. "He doesn't hate me. He said he could never do that."
Dean sucked in a breath. Sam had been having a conversation with Adam and apparently now, that conversation was focusing on him.
"Don't listen to him, Sam. He's not really there. He's in your head." Dean was inches away from taking the knife, but Sam flinched and took a step back.
Sam's face changed, like he was actually listening again to whatever fucked up guilt that was going on inside his head.
"He's forgiven me."
Dean felt a hot tear prick the edge of his eye. He had. He totally had. "Why can't he see me, Cas?"
"I believe the demon blood is attacking his weak spot."
Dean's brow rose. "Me."
"It could not have you there to deny things, dream or hallucination."
Dean nodded. "Makes sense, but…" he lowered his voice. "He can see you, though."
"Where's Dean?" Sam suddenly screamed at the invisible Adam. "Where's my brother?"
"I'm here. I'm right here, Sammy!" Dean tried to make himself heard.
"What the fuck have you done to my brother!"
Castiel took a purposeful step towards Sam. "Sammy!"
Dean was analytical about the strong emotional response he had to hearing that name come from someone else's lips. Dean was a little shocked at himself. He really, emreally/em didn't like it.
Sam's head spun towards Castiel and from the look on his face, neither did he. "Don't call me that." Sam glared. "Don't you ever call me that." He stepped forward. "Where's Dean, Cas?"
"You're brother is standing right beside you, Sam."
Sam glanced around with only his eyes. "Yeah… right."
"Sammy!" Dean was close enough to grab the knife, but he was waving his hand in front of Sam's face instead.
There was a flinch, just a spark of recognition in Sam's eyes, before he turned towards invisible Adam.
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"He's lying," Adam said, but Sam could see the lines of fear etched in his forehead. "Jesus, Sam. Haven't we been all through this? Castiel is Dean's friend. Not yours."
"Sammy… I'm here, Sam. Right beside you…"
"Dean?" The voice was so muffled and it sounded so far away.
"Yes… thank God. Can you hear me… Sammy?"
"Oh come off of it, Sam. You can't really…" Adam didn't finish the sentence, but walked forward and looked directly into his eyes. "Test it."
Sam frowned. "Test what?"
"If Dean is in this room with us, and he really forgives you, then he'll save you." Adam shrugged. "Simple, right?"
Sam was completely confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Sam, I don't know why I didn't think of this before." Adam smacked his forehead. "It's simple, Sam. We both know the truth. Dean hates you and that's why he's not here, but if you believe this…" He looked distastefully at Castiel. "…this angel, then Dean's here and it's just your mind that is blanking him out."
"What are you suggesting?"
"If Dean's standing beside you and he really wouldn't rather see you dead, then…"
"Then, what?"
"End it, Sam. The pain, the torment." Adam looked down at the knife in Sam's hand. "The confusion."
Sam looked down at the knife, too. With the amount of demon blood that he had consumed, it was probably the only knife in the world that could do it.
"If he's really here… If I'm the one that is a figment of your imagination, then Dean will save you."
God, his head hurt. Was he dreaming? Was this real? Either way, Dean wasn't there. Maybe… maybe Adam was telling the truth.
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Dean had tried screaming in Sam's ear and waving his hand in front of his face, but when Sam started to turn the knife towards himself, Dean grabbed at Sam's wrists and pulled him off balance.
Sam swung around, but didn't relinquish the knife. The struggle was brief and desperate. The tip of the knife had pierced Sam's stomach, drawing bright red blood, but it wasn't deep enough to hit anything vital.
"Sammy! Sammy, Stop!" They were rolling on the floor, when suddenly Sam's body went limp."
Sam laid there frozen in place, the knife above his head and Dean squarely on top of him. "He… he said you would."
Dean was panting and he kept a firm grip on Sam's wrists. "Who… Adam?"
"He said you'd save me."
Dean slowly let go of Sam and half climbed off of him, taking the knife with him.
"You did."
"Of course I did, Sammy. This is the real world. Not the one you made up in that head of yours."
Dean offered Sam a hand to stand and Sam didn't let go when he was on his feet.
"I don't understand." Sam shook his head in a 'no' motion. "I thought Adam wanted me dead. Why would he say that?"
"Adam was you and your shame reflected," Castiel piped in. "It was you who knew your brother would save you."
Sam caught Dean's eyes and squeezed his hand as the unspoken language flowed between them.
"It's okay, Sammy," Dean said and his eyes never wavered from Sam's. "It's gonna be okay."
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When the light dissipated, Bobby was standing in front of them and then he was hugging Sam and he was next.
Dean looked around. He was expecting to be in some sort of bunker, like Bobby's panic room, but this was a house. A two-story one at that.
"Where are we?" Dean said almost in awe.
"It's a sanctuary," Castiel said from behind Dean. "It will house all that know the truth."
Dean looked at Sam and worried for a moment. "Other hunters?"
"All that know the truth," Castiel said again.
"Deannnnnnnnnnnnn!" A familiar voice rang out and then she was drawing him tightly into a hug.
"Anna." Dean returned the hug.
"Hello, boys," the woman's voice was so familiar it brought a tear to Dean's eye as he watch Ellen embrace Sam.
"Wow," he said. "The gang really is all here."
"And there'll be more," Bobby informed. "As people understand the truth."
"Hence the twenty bedroom house," Dean said flippantly.
"The place is nearly invisible to demons and angels alike."
Dean grinned. "Yeah, Cas said that."
There was much talk and some laughter going on as they moved to the large kitchen and Ellen started to prepare coffee.
It had been two days since Sam had won his final internal battle, but he was still weakened and Dean had kept a close eye on him.
They were about to go to bed, both exhausted, but it was weird. Really weird. They each had a room of their own.
Dean settled Sam in out of habit and sat on the edge of the bed. "You okay?"
"Just tired I guess."
"No more Adam?"
Sam shook his head. "No, but…"
"But what?"
Sam shrugged. "Nothing."
"Sam?" Dean's tone was a warning.
"A little scared, I guess. Afraid he might come back."
"Not on my watch."
Sam grinned. "Yeah, well… I'll give you a shout across the hallway if he does."
Dean looked at the bedroom door and then back at Sam. "Not on my watch," he said again and started to shed clothes.
Sam didn't say a word as Dean stripped down to his boxers and pulled back the covers.
There was a second of hesitation, a question he asked Sam with his eyes.
Sam gave him a smile and the worry lines in his face straightened out. "Thank you."
"No problem, Sammy." He moved in to spoon his brother from behind. It felt weird and yet so natural. He'd ended up like that on many a cold night, but it was in his sleep, not intentional.
Sam moved back into his warmth and Dean placed his hand around Sam's stomach, resting the palm on the bandage over the knife wound.
"Better now?" he whispered into Sam's ear.
"Yeah," he yawned. "Safe… feel safe."
Dean tightened his grip and buried his nose into Sam's locks. "Told you before. That's me job."
Sam placed his hand on Dean's.
"Always was, Sammy… Always will be."
THE END.
AN: Well folks, what did ya think? Hope you enjoyed. Let me know if you did? *hugs you all* Z. xx
