~This is basically just a one shot about what happens after Kelsey went off in the car after overhearing Ren and Kishan's conversation at the end of Tiger's Quest^_^ This is my first Tiger's Curse FF so sorry if I don't quite get the character's personalities right...anywhom, on with the story:)
Disclaimer: (cause i do this for my other stories:D) I do not own any of the Tiger's Curse characters..not even...*sobs* Ren and Kishan.
Test the Waters..
Kelsey POV
I bit back the tears as they threatened to spill over. Crying while I was driving was only going to get me hurt...which would complicate things even more. I cursed mentally and pulled the car over, shutting off the engine and turning off the lights. Finally, I let the tears fall and leaned against the window as I cried. Ren didn't remember me. He doesn't even know who I am.
I bit back a sob and raked a hand through my hair, moving it out of the way so it wouldn't stick to the tears running down my cheeks. Everything I had held in since I found out about Ren was coming out and I couldn't do anything to stop it. There was a large hole in the pit of my stomach, making me nautious and a large emptiness in my heart. I ached everywhere for him..just to hear him say my name again. That he loved me. I was afraid I'd never hear it again.
I felt like I was sinking into a dark pit and there wasn't anything to help pull me out. It felt like...everything that really mattered was gone. I had little hope that it would ever come back. They had said Ren would eventually remember me, but I was having a hard time wrapping my head around that. I knew he had loved me once..but could he learn to love me again? Especially since there were so many other, much prettier girls by comparison out there. I wouldn't stand a chance against them.
I jumped when I heard a small knock on the window and tilted my head up, finding myself staring straight into worried amber colored eyes. Kishan stood just on the outside of the window, motioning for me to move away from the door so he could open it.
I didn't really feel like talking to him at the moment. He'd been through enough as it was and I didn't want to make things worse for him either. I knew how Kishan felt for me now..and if I talked to him about Ren, it would only hurt him. I shook my head numbly and kept leaning against the door, pushing the lock down on it so he wouldn't be able to get in.
I could hear Kishan sigh as he dug in his pockets and I cringed. Of course..Mr. Kadam had bought the car for me. They would obviously have a spare key..
I heard the click of the lock and the door quickly opened, sending me falling out of it. Warm arms wrapped themselves around me to keep me from falling out and lifted me into them. I looked up at Kishan, my vision blurry from the tears and pressed my lips together, afraid they would tremble if I didn't.
"Oh, Kells." He sighed, bringing me towards him and crushing me against his chest. In that simple gesture, I found myself sobbing into his chest. Kishan's arms felt so comforting and I was glad to have him, but I wished..it was someone else. I wanted it to be Ren desperately. I also knew it was unfair to use Kishan this way.
He didn't seem to care or notice what was going on as he tightened his grip on me and just held me there. "I know what it feels like." He whispered, breaking the silence that had settled over us.
"How could you?" I asked inbetween sobs, not trying to sound harsh..but his princess had fallen in love with him, choosing him over Ren so long ago.
"To love someone and for them not to love you back? Oh believe me, I know." He sighed, stroking my hair. I paused and stared up at him, biting down on my lip. "Kishan, I-" He cut me off with a shake of his head.
"Don't worry about it, Kells. It's my own problem to deal with." He told me. Still...I felt really bad for letting him comfort me like this. I pulled away, moving out of his arms to lean up against the car.
"You shouldn't have to deal with it at all." I murmured, rubbing at my eyes.
Kishan frowned and leaned forward, pulling my hands away. "You're going to make them swell." He told me, lifting his own hands up to gently wipe the tears away. I swatted at his hands, which only seemed to make him try that much harder. Sighing, I let him have his way.
He stared at me when he was finished, a small frown on his face. "You're not okay." He stated. It wasn't a question, he already knew the answer. I simply stood there and watched him.
"Kelsey, I know you don't have a lot of faith in Ren remembering you, and I know your reasons why too, but I want you to know that I've known Ren since I was born. I know him, Kells. I've seen the way he looks at you. That Ren's still in there somewhere, fighting to get back to you and you know it. You just need to have a little faith." He told me, running a hand through his hair. I saw how much it took for him to say that and my expression softened slightly. He always knew just what to say. And I saw how much it took for him to say that under the circumstances. It made it all that much more touching.
I stepped up to Kishan and hugged him tightly, not caring that I was ruining his shirt. "Thanks, Kishan. You don't know how much that means to me." I barely whispered, feeling a new strand of hope rise in me. Kishan was right. Ren loved me. He'd crossed the Atlantic for me (or maybe Pacific...scetchy on details..) competed against one of the greatest guys I'd ever met for me, almost died for me..I had to have a little faith in us if he'd been willing to do all that for me once before. Maybe he'd be willing to feel like he'd do it all again, not that I'd ever want him to have to repeat that a second time through.
I felt Kishan's arms wrap themselves back around me and pull me up against him. "I..I love you Kelsey." He whispered. "And if Ren never comes to his senses..you know I'm here right? I don't care if I'm a rebound. I just want you to know that you've got someone else if you need them. I miss your smile." He murmured.
A small pang went through me when he said that and I bit down harder on my lip, not saying anything. Kishan was...he couldn't know what he was saying..But then again, he was always so sure of himself. Both him and Ren were. It was one of the things I liked about them. My eyes widened slightly as I thought about his words. I could never do that to him..If I had never met Ren..but Kishan instead, would things be different now? The question had a pretty obvious answer: Of course I probably would have. I would have gotten all that time with Kishan that I'd had with Ren. We would have grown a connection to each other. I realized where my thoughts were heading and quickly pushed it all away. How could I talk like that? I pushed all those thoughts away and tried to only focus on Ren. He would come back to me..I had a little more faith in that now. I could at least give him time. He'd done so much for me, he deserved that much.
Kishan was watching me with a quizzical expression, as if he could read right through me. Instead of saying anything, he took my hand and gave it a small squeeze before leading me to the passenger side. "Why don't we get you back home?" He suggested, ushering me inside.
Once I was in, he shut the door and went back over to the driver's side, hopping in and turning the car back on. I leaned my head up against the window like I had before and let my thoughts wander. Ren's image immediately came to focus and I slowly went over his features in my head. I had just gotten up to his hair when I noticed it was darker than its usual shade. I frowned a little and shook my head, thinking I was just being paranoid and moved down to his eyes. That was when I really saw the change. Instead of blue eyes staring back at me, I found deep amber ones. Startled, I opened my eyes and pushed myself up. I had to stop thinking about Kishan..Ren was the one I loved and he was coming back to me. All these thoughts of Kishan..they were just here because Ren had forgotten about me. I wouldn't feel the same way if nothing had happened would I have? But we had spent all that time together while getting the next item..Maybe there was more to me and Kishan than I was getting. It wouldn't be fair to Ren, but it also wouldn't be fair to Kishan if I used him that way without seeing what we had or what we could be first. What if one was meant for me more than the other? Maybe I needed to test the waters with both...
I was still thinking about that when we arrived back at the large house. I glanced up at Ren's old room and saw a flicker of movement in the shadows, causing my heard to thud unevenly in my chest. I was a little disappointed when it turned out to be just a bird but put that feeling aside as well. I had more important things to worry about. I had to get Ren back first. Then I had to figure things out about him and Kishan. If I made one mistake..it could cost me everything. But I just needed to focus on one thing at a time.
okay so what did you think? :D i didn't originally mean for it to be mostly Kelsey in her thoughts but once i got there, i couldn't stop..haha hope you liked it! R&R please^_^
-xXPurpleMidnightXx
