Developed Feelings

Chapter 1 : Bad Morning's

Rin slowly opened her eyes. She then slowly tried to remember where she was. There was a smell, beer, and sex. Nasty, yet, inviting somehow. Rin noticed she was naked with an all too familiar arm dropped over her body. Murdoc's arm. Rin gave a quiet moan, her head threatening to kill her with the pain it was emitting. She needed her pills and as soon as possible.

Rin's POV

I gently rolled to the side, trying my best not to wake up Murdoc. I was in Murdoc's Winnebago, praying that he wouldn't wake up. As I started to put my clothes on I had the strange urge to kiss him. He looked sad, yet happy as he laid there on the bed. I quietly crept out of the door of the Winnebago. My head was killing me, probably due to the night before. I sighed as I looked at my shirt, which I had not yet put on, and saw that it was ripped in the front. "Damnit Murdoc. How many more of my shirts are you going to rip?" I said in a violent whisper. This was the third time this week he had drugged and or got me drunk and then messed with me in my confusion. I felt used and tired.

I walked slowly towards my room in the car park. Looking towards 2D's room, praying that he wouldn't walk out and find me. It was dark in my room. I didn't bother turning the light on. Shutting the door, I locked it behind me and threw my ripped shirt in a corner.

'What did I do to deserve this?' I thought. I sat on my bed holding my head. "You'd think he'd go for people his own age. Not a 22 year old band mate." My thought's went back to all of the hookers I had seen enter and leave his Winnebago. "Guess I'm just more convenient." I said with an exasperated tone. I sighed and reached for my pills, taking a couple of them.

I stood up from the bed and made my way towards my bathroom. The smell of him still lingered on my skin and I wanted it off.

I had my own shower in my room, it was a very convenient thing. It made it so I wouldn't have to go out there, to where he might be waiting. If I was to go out there now he would have the pleasure of seeing me like this. For all I know that could be the reason he does it, to make me feel this way. To make me confused.

I turned the water on and waited for the water to get warm. I took my clothes back off and glanced down at my arms and hips. Bruises had formed from Murdoc's rough handling. It was very rare that there wouldn't be some sort of mark left on my body.

Once the water was the temperature I wanted it I got in, letting the water fall over my body. It was gentle and warm. It felt really nice on my bruised skin. I closed my eyes to get the full sensation. My eyes shot back open as images of last night quickly flashed in my head. I finished my shower taking deep breathes to calm myself.

I got dressed after getting out and walked over to my door. Carefully opening the door I poked my head out and looked around. I didn't see Murdoc anywhere so I carefully walked out of the door and towards the lift. Halfway there a hand caught my shoulder and I turned around quickly to see who it was, "2D?"

2D smiled at me with his usual goofy smile and I couldn't help but smile back. "Ya headin' up?" I looked over at the Winnebago and then back at 2D. "Yeah." We both walked over to the lift. When we got close to the lift I kicked a rock at one of the cars, causing an alarm to go off. The lift door closed and I smirked as I saw the Winnebago door open. Murdoc coming out and glaring at the lift.

We walked out of the lift and towards the kitchen. Russel was sitting at the table with a plate of food. He looked up long enough to see who came in and then went back to reading his newspaper. "There's food on the stove if you want it."

There were eggs and bacon on the stove. I wasn't very hungry so I just got a mug from the cabinet and filled it with coffee from the pot. I pulled myself up and sat on the counter, not really wanting to sit at the table at the moment.

Russel sat his newspaper aside and looked over at me. "You not gonna eat anything." I smiled at him reassuringly. "I'm not really that hungry. I'll eat something later." I never really felt like eating after nights with Murdoc. This sort of sick feeling would always form from the drug he used or the alcohol. My thoughts returned back to last night. I couldn't get Murdoc's kisses out of my head, his taste still in my mouth. I took a drink from my coffee in an attempt to get the taste out of my mouth.

I looked out of the window and then I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He walked past then door and the backed up as he noticed we were both in the kitchen. "Which one of ya did it?" He yelled accusingly as he walked in. He walked over to were 2D was putting his plate in the sink. "Was it you Dullard?" He said, grabbing 2D's shirt. 2D shook his head violently not sure what was going on.

"If you're talking about the car alarm, that was me." I said calmly, taking another drink of my coffee. He let go of 2D and looked over at me. "Should've known." Russel looked over at Murdoc as he calmed down slightly. "There's food if ya want it Murdoc."

Murdoc walked over to me after looking at the food on the stove. It would seem that the place I had decided to sit that day was where the plates were. He smirked as he went to open the cabinet behind me. My breath hitched as he let his hand fall to my thigh. He must have notice because his smirk grew as he drew away with the plate in hand. "Not eatin' luv?" I looked back out of the window to avoid looking at him. "Don't feel like eating." He shrugged and sat down at the table, "Suit yourself."

I finished my coffee and put the mug in the sink next to me. I dropped off of the counter and started towards the door, smiling as Noodle walked in. "Morning Rin." She said as she saw me. "Good morning Noodle." I patted her on the head as I walked by her and walked out of the room. I could feel Murdoc's eyes on me as I walked out.

I walked a little ways down the hall and leaned against the wall, sliding down it. "Damnit." Was all I could say as I sat there.