So... I had a lot of doubts about whether not I should publish this fic. And I'm still not sure it's even gonna become a whole story, cause I only have like 3 chapters ready. I just had some thoughts coming to my mind and I had to write them. I wanted to let you all know from the start thatthebegining of the story is a little... dark, yeah, I guess that's the word. I don't know if it's gonna keep going in this direction, I just thought I'd let you know. Anyway, here's the story. I hope you like it, and please review.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, and not even the first paragraph, which was taken from the S3 finale. I'm just a huge fan and thought I'dkeep my mind busy until season 4 begins!
Chapter 1 – Am I too lost to be saved?
- As far as I'm concerned, this friendship is over. And if we never speak again for the rest of our lives, that will be fine!
Brooke walks out of the room. Peyton turns to her, looking lost and not saying a word. Brooke stops at the door and looks at her former best friend, with tears in her eyes.
- I gave you a second chance, Peyton. And you blew it! – and then she walks away, leaving Peyton sitting on her bed, sobbing.
Brooke walks out of the house and into her car. She sits and starts crying too. She doesn't want to lose her best friend again, but things had gone too far this time.
Peyton's POV:
Why on Earth did I do that? She's right, I blew it. I never wanted to steal Lucas from her, I won't steal Lucas from her. And even if I tried, it's not like he would do anything, he's completely in love with Brooke. But that's not the point. Cause I don't want to do that. Last year, I was a total bitch to her, I stabbed her on the back. And she forgave me. And now I just wanted things to be different. I wanted to be honest with her from the start. Why? I don't know! Alright? I have no idea! I felt like I'd be betraying her if I didn't say anything. Cause that's what I did the other time, and look how well that turned out. Oh my god, what kind of friend am I? Maybe I don't even deserve a friend like Brooke. Brooke would always put our friendship before guys. When she found out Felix was responsible for that 'dyke' paiting on my locker, she immediately broke up with him, no questions asked. When we were younger, Brooke would always defend me against anyone, and I'd defend her. I remember she broke up with two of her boyfriends cause they didn't like me, and they kept messing with me at school.
And, of course, my dad's not here, I can't go to Jake till I figure things out. Haley and Nathan are at their honeymoon. And Lucas… well, if I expect Brooke to ever forgive me, then talking to him is not an option. What am I supposed to do? I'm so lost… it's like nothing makes sense anymore. I screw up. That's what I do. I drive people away. I hurt Jake, I hurt Brooke. I hurt the people I care about the most. And I keep making all those mistakes… that's it, I gotta do something about it… I'll just wash my face and go for a walk.
But when I get to the bathroom I see something, almost as if it'd been put there for me to take it. My father's razor. I don't think, I can't think right now, I'm too weak for that. I'm too weak to fight the tears and even to be afraid. I take it and cut my own skin. My wrists. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't wanna die. I just want to… feel. Feel anything. I wanna feel the pain I've been causing to everyone else. I look at my arm as the blood spreads through my skin. It's not a lot of blood. I can barely feel the pain. So I cut deeper this time, desperate to feel something. I feel this stinging pain and I watch the blood drip. And then I hear something, someone. Someone is standing right before me, but I don't have the strength to look up. She bends and looks at me. It's Brooke. I can see her lips moving, but I can't hear anything.
- I'm sorry…
That's all I can say before everything turns black.
