The mission briefing

Summary: Tseng briefs the Turks on their next mission while trying to ignore that they are only using one word at a time to communicate.
Rating: U
Warnings: None
Spoliers: None
Alternate Universe: Yes, but if I tell you how, it would spoil the ending!
Disclaimer: SE owns the Turks, not me, I'm just playing.


(Setting: meeting room in Shinra building. Tseng is briefing the Turks.)

Tseng: At this point Reno will disarm Cloud.
Reno: Sure.
Rude: Difficult
Elena: Previously? (Raises eyebrow and blows out cheeks)
Reno: (Defensively.) Different.
Rude: (Sceptically.) Really?
Elena: (Challenging.) How?
Reno: (Confidently.) Surprise.
Elena: Previously. (Raises eyebrow.)
Rude: Same. (Smirks.)
Reno: Different! (Throws arms up.)
Elena: Denial.
Rude: Delusional.
Tseng: Can we move on?
Reno: Them. (Gestures to Rude and Elena.)

Tseng: (Rubbing his forehead with his index finger and thumb.) Is there something you want to tell me?
Reno: Continue. (Grinning.)
Elena: Please.
(Rude readjusts his tie)

Tseng: (with narrowed eyes.) So Reno will have to disarm Cloud.
Reno: (Suggests with hope.) Distract?
Rude: (Mocking.) Nervous?
Reno: (Defensively crossing arms and sitting back.) No.
Tseng: No, he will have to be disarmed. Rude will have to distract the rest of Avalanche.
Reno: (Demanding with a cheeky lilt.) Exotically.
Elena: Huh?
Reno: Dancing.
Elena: (realisation.) Oh!
Rude: (Aggressively) Forget.
Reno: Could.
Rude: Won't.
Reno: Work.
Rude: Won't.
Reno: Should.
Rude: Won't.
Reno: Will.
Tseng: Quiet!

Reno and Rude: (Looking down.) Sorry.
Tseng: Sorry?
Reno and Rude: Boss.

Tseng: Rude will distract the rest of Avalanche then, not by doing any kind of exotic dancing Reno. Try to get conversational. (Tseng looks at Rude.) Or…
Rude: Bomb?
Reno: Wimp.
Elena: Chicken.
Rude: Style. (Self assured grin.)
Reno and Elena: Wimp. (Nodding to each other.)
Tseng: Perhaps a small explosion would be more realistic. But don't destroy the place.
Reno: (Suddenly sitting up, angered.) Fair?
(Rude smiles smugly)
Tseng: Yes it is, you'll be armed too. Elena will be our inside woman, she'll get the goods.
Elena: (With complaint.) Previously!
Tseng: I'll give you what you need.
Reno: (Looking at Rude.) In
Rude: More
Reno: Ways
Rude: Than
Reno: One.
(Reno and Rude high five each other.)
Elena: Cheats!
Reno: (Spreading his arms in explanation.) Rules!
Tseng: Enough!
Elena: Professionalism?
Tseng: Is apparently lost. (Opens his wallet.) This should cover the first round.
Reno: Doubles.
(Tseng sighs and pulls out more money.)
Reno: Thanks.
Tseng: The second round will be on Reno, triples.
Reno: Ouch.
Tseng: I'll cover the exits. Now, are we all clear on the mission?
Reno, Rude and Elena: Yes.

Tseng: Reno?
Reno: Cloud.
Tseng: Rude?
Rude: Distraction.
Tseng: Elena?
Elena: Drinks.
Tseng: Right. And none of you will get us barred from this bar tonight, it's the last bar in Midgar that will technically still let us in.
Reno: Best
Rude: Behaviour.
Elena: Promise.
(Rude, Reno and Elena hold up their right hands and look sincere.)
Tseng: And whatever the bet is about this aversion to using sentences, I want it dropped by tonight. It's bad enough we're forced to drink in 7th heaven, I'm not doing it with you lot making less sense then usual.
(Tseng narrows his eyes at his Turks who are looking innocent of the bet accusation.)
Tseng: Dismissed.

The end