It's easy money. As terrible as it sounds, that's the reason she keeps going. Why deprive herself of the money?
Leaving her client laying worn out on the hotel bed after six minutes provides her no satisfaction, but she feigns it. Throwing on a robe and going to shower. It's her hotel room, well her agency's and she knows this client well enough now to know that he'll lay still for a long while before showering and leaving himself.
She dresses without thinking, in more 'normal' clothes, before packing her things in a small bag and heading out the door.
Returning to what she refers to as her real life, it's nearly instantly interrupted by the other.
"I have a possible new job for you. It is… not your usual but I thought I'd offer it." The call comes through later that day as she's headed back to campus.
"What kind?" She's not going to agree to anything without the details made explicitly clear. She's made that mistake before, it's a lesson she doesn't need to repeat.
"Companionship. Strictly escort. No sex."
She laughs, more than one client had tried to upgrade their arrangement. She wasn't interested in handholding, or feigned tenderness but she could try and see if this arrangement would suit her. "Fine. Just tell him sex is extra."
"That is the thing. She. But she doesn't want sex."
"She?!" Delphine balks at first. She supposes if it is just companionship it shouldn't make a difference.
"Yes. We thought with your background, you'd be the best choice."
"Background?!" now she's confused. She keeps this extra job of hers separate from her real life. She's so incredibly careful, she's learned that too. Her research. Her in-progress PhD. That stays untouched. It's why she takes the train out of the city on weekends she works. It's why, despite Montréal's huge sex industry, that she works only in Toronto.
"Very well." Delphine decides, mostly out of curiosity than anything else. "But no sex." She wouldn't have that. A woman would see through counterfeit arousal far too easily.
She waits in the hotel lobby as promised. She'd dressed more casually by special request from C.N. Her newest client, it seemed, wanted her to fly under the radar. Or she had some sort of special plans, it was hard to say.
Taking a long sip of red wine, she looks around the bar. She's dressed as asked. A sweater and skirt, she looks good. But she doesn't look like a prostitute necessarily. She thinks she looks more like a student.
She's looking for an older woman. Someone in a suit, who thinks she can pay for companionship. Instead she's surprised by a remarkably young looking woman tapping her shoulder.
"Delphine?" The girl asks her, holding out her hand hesitating.
"Yes." She agrees, shaking the hand. "Enchantée." For a minute she tries to remember why she's used her real name, she typically doesn't. She has a rota of several, depending on her mood. All French, with varying degrees of sultry. It was another boon to this business, the slight exoticism she held for her clients. Often, she'd play up her accent or pretend to be clueless. But now she speaks naturally, not intent on seduction.
"I'm Cosima. C.N." The girl clarifies. She takes a minute to take her in, young, tattooed, dreadlocks, wearing a red dress with the locks pulled back into a bun.
"I'm sorry. You're not what I expected." Delphine apologizes. "Shall we go?"
"Yes. I have a dinner reservation for us. " Cosima informs her semi-awkwardly. "I… I don't usually do this."
"That's alright." Was this a game? Perhaps. Either way, she's led, surprisingly, to the subway.
"Where are we going?"
"Dinner at the CN tower, then the aquarium." Cosima informs her cheerfully. "C.N. to CN… I thought it was funny."
There is something about this dinner that tells her, even though it is perfect, that it was not meant for her. It feels far too much like a long planned evening that went to her, a surrogate-date for whatever woman was supposed to be her. It doesn't annoy her like she thought it would, in fact, it's easy. Very easy.
And Cosima is friendly, casually chatting to her about the sights, how much she likes the view, almost as if this were a real date.
"So… what do you do?" Delphine leans forward on her elbows part way through dinner. Cosima doesn't add up. Her youth, her apparent financial means. What was this to her? A social experiment? Was she a journalist looking for a story on escorts? Modern prostitution? Is she even actually homosexual?
"I'm a PhD candidate at the university of Toronto… But I don't want to bore you with that." Cosima apologizes.
"You won't bore me." She assures her, genuinely intrigued, but whether or not Cosima believes her, she goes into her dissertation. It makes sense now, why the agency wanted to pair her with Cosima. They are so very alike. Even if she's not one of the escorts that will take female clients. She knows there are a couple who will, but she'd been offered this gig. And she finally sees why, this connection, this likeness was a part of what Cosima must have wanted.
"I guess I can't ask you the same question." Cosima shifts awkwardly.
"This is, what you'd call, my second job." Delphine tells her gently. It has to stay separate she cannot let on to Cosima just how similar they are. Albeit on opposite sides of the table.
They're meandering slowly through the aquarium, both almost entranced by the slow movements of fish all around them before Cosima broaches the subject again.
"I did know of an anthropology prof who stripped her way through grad school. And then wrote papers on it." Cosima comments, her head tilting and shooting her a grin. "Maybe I should consider it. Hah... " Cosima laughs, "I can't stand men long enough, I think."
"So epigenetics is a fascinating field." Delphine comments without thinking, immediately changing the subject, "are you reading a lot of twin studies?"
"Umm wow." Cosima flips around, turning away from the aquarium tank and the small sharks swimming by. "You actually know what I am talking about, don't you?"
"I do." Delphine confirms with a small smile. Getting paid for this, this was fun.
"Why do you do this? It's obvious you're, like, crazy smart."
"Easy money. Fits into my hectic PhD schedule. " Delphine finds herself answering honestly without planning to. Cosima's eyes light up, and she knows, sooner or later they'll have to talk about their research.
"But you're just escorting...right?" Cosima asks hopefully. Oh the silly girl, why won't she just pretend that this is real?
"Sometimes. If they pay extra...then I do more." She shrugs, unsure of how much to elaborate. Why won't Cosima let herself forget and focus on the fantasy? She'd obviously hired her to play out one, one that was sweet and romantic. Not in the least upsetting to her.
Cosima nods, looking suddenly uncomfortable. "I … I had fun. A friend told me to try this… and it was much better than I expected… if I want to see you again…?"
"Contact the agency." Delphine reaches out to squeeze her hands, this is separate. "You can book me any time you like. It was pleasant. I enjoyed myself. I really did." She assures the girl.
Conversation and adventure with a pleasant young woman, it was hardly the most difficult job in the world. It's not hard to tell Cosima is looking at her, probably curious as to what she can get away with.
Cosima walks away with a wave, not even bothering to ask to come up to the hotel room, or even try to kiss her.
Strange, Delphine thinks, but it isn't a lie. She'd happily go out with Cosima again.
Several weeks pass, Cosima books her nearly every week, and she turns down a high paying client twice to make their dates. It's enough money, it subsidizes her income nicely, and it's pleasant. They venture around Toronto. Hitting the ROM in the evening or exploring neighbourhoods and shopping districts. It's always the same, conversation and companionship, and though Cosima will excitedly grab her hands, or tap her shoulder, she's careful about how much physical contact they're in.
Another fine dining experience later of some of the most expensive sushi in the city, Delphine eyes Cosima across the table. Was this it? Or was Cosima simply waiting to be asked. Sex, was not what she wanted she said. So then what was it? The girlfriend experience? Surely she wasn't worth that much money. It was a waste, they'd done this five times now.
"Would you like to come back to the hotel room? Just for a drink?" Delphine offers, there was champagne there, there always was.
"I'm not paying for sex." Cosima informs her in a small voice.
"I'm not offering sex." Delphine looks directly back at her. "What do you want from this? Do you want me to hold you? Is that what you're in this for?" It doesn't seem fair to be paid this much money and have so little demanded from her, perhaps… perhaps it was something else Cosima wanted?
"Okay." Cosima agrees, letting her lead her back to the hotel. Looking nervous as Delphine moves to lock the door and takes off her sweater, revealing a black tank top.
"Shh." Delphine reaches out for her shoulders, is this what she wants? She lays a kiss on her forehead, squeezing her arms and pulling her into a tight hug. Cosima, for her part goes willingly. The brunette buries her face in her neck, and after a moment or two, holds her back.
She'd guessed right, and though she'd refused men for wanting the same thing, she's inclined to give this to Cosima. Tenderness, who would have thought that was what she needed? Or that Delphine herself would be willing to give it.
"Lie down with me." Delphine urges, guiding Cosima back towards the bed, moving to hold her in her arms. A strange thing, perhaps, but no less necessary than sex to some people.
"This feels nice." Cosima tells her, reaching out to touch her hair, let her hand stroke down her back.
"Cosima." Delphine smiles stroking her cheek in return. She'd managed somehow, to remain endearing, though perhaps that would change in such close proximity.
"Are you going to charge me extra for this? " Cosima laughs. They are fully clothed and cuddling, and Delphine wonders if she should be laughing too.
"Non. Of course not, this...this is nothing." She responds instantly. She could, but she simply doesn't want to with Cosima. Why charge the girl for something she's happy to do for her?
Cosima looks at her, eyes wide and face open, vulnerable. "Nothing?"
"Why do you do this?" Delphine finally asks aloud what she's been wanting to for weeks. "You're attractive. Intelligent. You don't have social issues… you could find a real girlfriend."
"I'm terminally ill." Cosima says curtly. "This way I don't hurt anyone. And I can forget sometimes. I feel like we're actually friends. You're just that good."
It's a long moment before she responds, the genuine sorrow she feels at this news filling her. That, that is too much. And far too sad.
"We are friends." Delphine answers. She won't be taking anymore of Cosima's money. This will be the last time, she thinks. Leaning in to give Cosima a quick kiss, she doesn't anticipate the impassioned response. Instantly, Cosima is responsive, clinging to her and she kisses her back, hard.
She kisses back patiently for a few minutes until Cosima breaks away sheepishly.
"Sorry… it just feels too weird to pay you to do that. I mean, I know I could… but."
"Shhh. Stop." Delphine pulls her in to cuddle again, "I'm not charging you extra for this. I want to do this."
She hugs her close again, but it is time to end this arrangement. At least for a while.
She's not even there for Cosima, she's with Aldous. He's insisted on taking her out for breakfast on Sunday morning, and as he's paid for the whole weekend until noon, she has to let him.
Privately, she checks her clock. Waiting down the minutes until she's free to go.
She catches sight of a familiar red coat and dreads, her head turning to meet Cosima's with a smile. It's been six weeks since she's seen her, and she loves the way the small brunette beams at her. Why hadn't Cosima tried to book her again? Had she given up on their...arrangement? Privately, Delphine admits to herself that she had missed her, missed her company.
"Do you know each other?" Aldous asks, noticing her noticing. Her eyes are drawn to Cosima and even though he's entirely self-involved, Aldous isn't stupid.
"Yes." Delphine simply smiles. She offers no further explanation, taking a sip of her coffee, her breakfast mostly finished. Her poker face is usually better than this, her falsified expressions. She's slipping, Delphine worries briefly.
He leans back in his chair, looking between the two women. "Oh this, this could get interesting."
Delphine shakes her head, why he would want to bring that drama upon himself she'll never know. "She knows."
"So she knows… well, she's coming over." Aldous pauses to drink his own coffee, gearing up to enjoy the show. As if he expects this all to end in drama or tears.
"Hi Delphine… are you busy?" Cosima looks us over, it's clear she knows what is going on, probably wondering how well I am being compensated for this time.
"Non… Aldous, we are done here?" Delphine decides it's a good a time as any to make her escape. Even if he paid her more, she wasn't interested in more sex with Aldous. Not today. Not when Cosima wandered in, giving her the near perfect opportunity. After all, if Cosima wasn't paying for her time, she could try to ease this into the real world.
"Yes. Hello Miss Niehaus." Aldous greets Cosima, "Interesting to see you out of the lab. I'm wondering, how do you know... Delphine?"
"Oh you know, around…" Cosima shrugs.
"She hired me. She's my next appointment. Have a lovely day, Aldous." Delphine stands, gathering her belongings, enjoying the shocked and intrigued expression on Aldous' face as she grabs Cosima's hand and leads her from the restaurant. She is sick of listening to that man speak about himself. The sex, by itself, was usually tolerable. But the constant droning she couldn't stand.
They're halfway down the block before Cosima stops her, pulling back on her hand.
"You know… I'm not paying for this." Cosima shuffles her feet, looking up at her hopefully through glasses. "Would you like to go out with me? Won't be as fancy, but I'd like the company."
She observes the small young woman, feeling the same pang of tenderness for her again. "I want you," Delphine stops deliberately, "to take me home with you."
Cosima's eyebrows raise, a curious smile forming on her face. "Seriously?"
Perhaps it's not the right thing to do, maybe it's still a conflict of interest, but she wants to. And maybe that is enough.
It's a small apartment in an older house, Cosima leads her through the door and up the stairs.
"This is it." Cosima offers, swinging open the door. It's warm and full of books, a curtain separating the sleeping area from the rest of it. She wonders again where Cosima is getting the money for hiring escorts, even without the sex. Running up her credit cards? A gift from a friend? Or does the brunette simply prefer to live modestly?
"It's adorable." Delphine assures her. Yes, yes this would do.
Cosima seems almost jumpy, body humming with a nervous energy. "What do you want to do?"
"Run a bath." Delphine instructs, reaching out to stroke Cosima's hair. She could do this… this… this could be so easy.
"Did you just… nevermind. I don't want to know." Cosima moves wordlessly to her bathroom. "He works at some crazy company. They try to recruit at the university all the time. I had to take one of his classes."
"He must be an intolerable professor." Delphine laughs, "he is difficult at the best of times."
She hears the water turn on, and she begins to slide out of her clothing. It's more formal than anything else she's worn with Cosima. She takes her hair down, fluffing it back out as best as she can with her fingers, before stepping into the small bathroom in only her underwear.
Cosima gasps when she sees her, sitting against the edge of the tub. Still mostly dressed and looking anxious.
"Go on, get in." Delphine urges her, watching as Cosima undresses. It's not scary certainly, a woman's body. Stimulation is stimulation, and she's sure she can manage to do that for her.
"You sure about this?" Cosima asks as she steps into the water and lowers herself down.
Delphine lowers her voice purposefully, "oui." She places herself on the edge of the tub, hands reaching for Cosima's shoulders, she touches and squeezes at the skin, not deep enough for a true massage. She continues to touch Cosima lightly until she leans back, reclining in the tub. She watches her body shift under the water.
"Are you going to get in?" Cosima asks after several minutes have passed. She removes her underwear in response, that is the plan.
She steps into the deep clawfoot tub, allowing Cosima to tug her in closer. The warm water surrounding them a delight. It doesn't feel too strange.
"I'm going to kiss you now." Cosima warns, "tell me if you don't want it."
She lets Cosima kiss her mouth softly, it's so gentle and tender she finds herself smiling into the kiss. She breaks the kiss, and moves herself to sit behind Cosima, positioning them front to back.
"What are you doing?" Cosima's voice asks uncertainly. She pulls Cosima back onto her lap, who giggles, then tenses.
"Forget who I am. Forget how you met me." Delphine instructs, her hands roaming down. She stimulates her, finding her already partially swollen, she teases at her sex while she kisses her neck.
"Comme ça?" She moans, "let me do this for you."
"Okay… Delphine." Cosima mumbles her name, leaning back against her and sighing as her free arm goes around her body.
She never expected to find this so arousing, but as her hand works between Cosima's legs she groans. Cosima's body arching back against hers as she toys mercilessly with her clit. Even in the water, she can tell Cosima is getting wetter, getting closer. Cosima squirms, leaning back against her and it's surprisingly sexy. All of it.
Cosima's orgasm nearly surprises her, although it's her goal, the little moans become quieter and quieter, her mouth opening wordlessly as she arches back, shaking on her lap. It's quiet, until a low soft moan emerges from lips she wants to kiss.
Delphine cannot deny the heat she feels with Cosima panting on her lap, her smaller body stretched out on top of her own.
Cosima turns to face her as soon as she's caught her breath, kissing her enthusiastically, like she would a lover, someone dear to her. She throws herself into it, kissing back just as passionately, slipping her tongue into Cosima's mouth to be sucked on.
Just as abruptly, Cosima pulls away. "Shit. Sorry… I just forget. Is any of this even allowed?"
"Kiss me." Delphine insists, urging Cosima to return to the same rawness as before.
"Let's… go to bed." Cosima offers, next time there's a lull in kissing.
It's her turn to be nervous, "I… I never slept with a woman before."
"Well," Cosima swallows, grinning at her, "so far you're doing just fine."
Cosima's bed is a mess, even as she permits the small brunette to push her down on the bed she notices. But as soon as Cosima has clambered on top of her, it stops with another deep kiss, and another. Those ever moving hands are still moving, but now they run over her own body. Teasing, tempting, as if she needs further stimulation.
"I want to be inside you…" Cosima's panting into her ear. "But… do you really want it?"
"Yes!" Delphine guides Cosima's hand down, "you can feel it… feel my want." And it's true, this arousal, this wetness is genuine. She hears the brunette whimper as she touches her wet heat, fingers probing through flesh that is clearly aroused.
Cosima enters her gently, "oh baby… I didn't think...oh."
"See?" Delphine coos, kissing her forehead, "you do this to me." She has definitely reached the epitome of hand-holding, having to coax Cosima through this. But she doesn't care, she just wants more of Cosima. Cosima's pleasure.
"I need you to want me." Cosima whines at her, dark eyes examining her face as she presses in deeper, closer.
"I do…you can feel it… I want you deeper." She's delighted by the push of Cosima's fingers, she adjusts position, hiking up one leg, to get her deeper. To make her fingers fill her.
For a few blissful minutes she thinks of nothing but Cosima thrusting into her, Cosima's lips pressing to her own, or to her skin. She watches the brunette wander her way down to her breasts, tracing them with her tongue. She watches her nipple vanish into Cosima's hot mouth, but it's the brunette's reaction that has her gasping and pushing upwards.
It's an unproductive activity, Delphine realizes, despite her enjoyment. This isn't going to make Cosima come, and it could take a long time. How much energy does Cosima really have? She's ill, so isn't it better to keep this short? Conserve her energy?
She considers faking an orgasm, it is status quo, helps to get things over with. But...Cosima will be able to tell, somehow Delphine just knows it.
"It's okay." Delphine tells her instead, moving into Cosima's thrusts. She reaches a hand to Cosima's head, stroking at her hair, the roughness of the dreads a new experience to go along with the softness of her lover's body.
"What's okay?" Cosima mumbles up at her between sucking at her nipples.
"I don't care if I come…" Delphine moans finally, she's getting closer, yes but it doesn't matter. This feels good, better than she'd imagined. It was more than enough.
"What?!" Cosima looks up from playing with her nipple in surprise. The brunette stills inside her momentarily, "what do you mean?"
"I wanted you inside me… and I have it." She tells her softly.
"Well… I do!" Cosima shakes her head and begins kissing her again, moving down.
No… she can't possibly be going to... Delphine gasps when a hot tongue flicks at her clit, again and again as fingers continue their slow, gentle thrusts. It's all so tender, so gentle that she's not sure how to reciprocate this.
"Mmmmm." Cosima moans deeply, happily, continuing to lick her as if she's the most delectable thing on the planet. Her nose is pressed to groomed curls, and Cosima seems entirely fixated on her task.
A couple minutes proves enough, she comes hard all over Cosima's face. She's crying by the time her orgasm subsides, another flick or two of a tongue has her twisting her lower body away.
"No more…" Delphine whimpers, pushing Cosima's insistent mouth away from her thighs. "It's too much."
"Did you like it?" Cosima asks, moving to lay on her chest. She's not asking permission anymore at least.
She smiles, stroking Cosima's head. "Yes."
"You're too good to be true." Cosima tells her with a sad smile. "You really are."
"Non." Delphine sighs again, "no, I'm not."
