Two Heads are Better than One
Chapter One: The Potion
"Ahh, so I see another failed potion by the famous Harry Potter." Severus Snape, the potions master said with an evil sneer. "Could you perhaps be trying to make my head explode with the disgusting smells emitting from your cauldron? Well let us just test this potion out shall we, hmm?"
"Potterus Potions Revolution!" Snape said bellowing the words. All of a sudden there was a giant explosion and a great cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared everyone gasped. Peoples heads had randomly (or so it seemed to them) collided together.
"Oh no how will I ever go on my date tonight with this idiot attached to my neck?!" Snape asked the class as a fat tear oozed down the side of his face.
"Hey who are you calling an idiot?" asked the voice of none other then Ron Weasley. "For your information I have a date tonight too."
There were gasps from the Ron/Hermione shippers and thoughts of "It better be with Hermione."
"You think you have trouble, just take a look to who I'm attached to." Said the voice of Hermione Granger.
Ron turned around and saw that none other then LORD VOLDEMORT!!!
No, no it is too early to introduce him. (Or is it?) Hermione Granger was actually attached to A MONKEY HEAD!!! (For real)
"What the heck is this thing?" Demanded Draco Malfoy; voted Witch Weekly's Best Smile three years in a row.
"This thing happens to be Ginny Weasley," said, Oh My God, none other then Ginny Weasley.
Could this possibly be a Draco/Ginny ship the readers thought allowed.
"Over my dead body," yelled a girl who was attached to the neck of Harry Potter. "I was supposed to be with Draco, Hermione was supposed to be with Ron, Ginny and Harry were supposed to be in the same body, and Snape was supposed to be attached to a monkey butt, not a monkey head!"
"I thought I was attached to a monkey butt?" Snape said smiling maliciously at Ron.
"Hello what about the plot line. Silencio." Hermione said while silencing the shrieking monkey.
"Oh right the plot line um well lets just fast forward to the common room." The new mysterious girl said. "By the way my name is Sara and everyone in the story should call me by it from henceforth."
"No, I want to talk to Dumbledore about this." Snape said looking down at them all over his large beaky nose. "Come now to his office all of you."
"Sugar bogies," Snape said to the gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office. "Up the stairs with you lot."
Just then they heard screechy sounds that could only be described as elevator music. "Oh, no not elevator music!" they all screamed at the same time while awkwardly covering their ears.
"I'm a Barbie girl,
in a Barbie world.
Life in plastic, it's fantastic.
You can
brush my hair, undress me
everywhere.
Imagination, life is
your creation.
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
"Why don't you like it?" Dumbledore asked from behind his desk. There were huge stacks of paper and globes everywhere. "I find it quite catchy actually" he said humming the tune under his breath. "I'm just looking where I should retire my old bones," he said from behind a giant map of the world. "Ah yes this looks good, my bed." Just then a bed appeared out of nowhere with the words 'Sleep Soundly Dumbykins' carved in the front, "Very well then good night all."
"Professor, wait!" Sara said running over to him.
"Yes Sara? Or should I say Harry? I know what you want. You want a solution. Well it just so happens that I planned this whole thing out."
"Really?" asked Sara confused. "I thought I was the author."
"No my dear Sara, or is it Harry, you are merely a puppet in my theater of cruelty, for I am really Lord Voldemort's . . . cousin Drol Tromedlov!"
"Oh no, not the second most evil wizard to walk the crust of this Earth!" everyone screamed running to the corner. That is everyone but our brave heroine/hero, Sara/Harry.
"Yes I am the second most evil wizard in the world, but soon I will be number one!"
"He's number one! He's number one!" Said a group of people in the corner with signs and matching clothes."
"Who are they?" Ron asked stupidly.
"They are my personal cheering section," he said matter of factly.
"What is your evil plan Drol Tromedlov?" She/He asked bravely.
"Why should I tell you?" He asked
"Because that's what all evil villains do to add to the suspense of the story."
"Well if you must know, I plan to murder you, the author, and then take over the story myself and making sure that I win by the end of this story, Mwhahahaha!"
"Oh what is this?" the real Dumbledore said waking form his slumber and stifling a yawn. "Who might you be?"
"I am soon to be the most evil man in the universe." Drol Tromedlov said with a wicked smile readying his wand.
"But you can't kill them today; it will end the story to abruptly." Dumbledore said reasonably.
"Oh no you've found my one to weakness, logic. We will meet again mark my words!" Drol Tromedlov screamed as he disappeared in a cloud of orange smoke.
"That was a close one Professor, good thing you knew logic better that one over there." Hermione said pointing to Sara/Harry.
"Hey," She/He shouted.
"Ah yes well let's try to solve this problem. Now you shall each have your own common rooms and this is a spell to make a person momentarily blind while showering," Dumbledore said passing strips of paper with words on them. "Also all of you will need new names. Let's see, Ron/Professor Snape you are now Professor Ron and you will continue to teach potions and receive notes from your friends. Ginny/Draco you will be called Drinco. Hermione you can keep your name if you wish or be called Hermonkey. And Sara/Harry you can be called Sharra. Is everyone clear on the situation? Good you may proceed to your common rooms. I need to speak with Sharra privately though."
After everyone but Sharra had left the room Dumbledore turned to Sharra and began talking to them, "Now you must realize that you are in very grave danger. You must always be on guard and be aware of your surroundings. I have faith in you that you will be the heroes of the story." Dumbledore said gravely.
"But Professor with a wizard that powerful how will we defeat him?" Sharra asked nervously.
"Don't forget Sharra that you have one thing that Drol Tromedlov doesn't have. You have logic and as long as you have that and your bravery you will surely be able to beat him." Dumbledore said smiling at them. "You have what this story doesn't have; logic."
