….
"Thank you, 'Bastian." Blaine said softly as he stepped closer to the green-eyed Warbler, wrapping his arms around him tight. He was thankful for Sebastian's blessing even if it hurt, but as the taller held him close and tight for a moment longer than maybe he should have, Blaine couldn't help but feel a wave of guilt swoop through his stomach.
Later that night as he was lying in bed, there were butterflies filling his stomach, not letting him sleep at all. His mind kept going back and forth between Kurt and Sebastian. He didn't know what he was so nervous about, it wasn't his decision to propose to Kurt, he had no doubt he would say yes. But then his mind would drift to Sebastian and he'd think that maybe they weren't nervous butterflies, maybe he was feeling guilty. The more he thought about it the worse he felt. He really didn't have to be so extravagant with the proposal, just taking Kurt to the staircase where they met would be enough. Did he really have to bring the Warblers into it? Bring Sebastian into it?
It was never a secret how Sebastian felt for him, or how he felt for Sebastian either, honestly. There was always a sexual tension between them but there was so much more there too. They were best friends. They had met in middle school when Sebastian transferred. From the moment they met they were inseparable and they practically ruled their middle school and their first year at Dalton Academy. They were the school's power couple and everyone knew that Sebastian belonged to Blaine and Blaine belonged to Sebastian. Blaine couldn't ever remember a time when Sebastian wasn't his boyfriend.
That was until the summer before their sophomore year when Sebastian broke the news to Blaine that he was going back to Paris. After four years of being together they were over, just like that. Blaine couldn't do anything about it but curl up in Sebastian's arms and cry, clinging to him on his last night in Ohio like if he could hold onto him hard enough he wouldn't go. They whispered promises of staying together, of speaking on the phone, emails, letters, promises of loving each other forever, promises that slowly trickled into non-existence as a year passed. Blaine never heard from Sebastian anymore, the last he'd heard, he'd met some guy named Hunter and they were close as could be.
Maybe it wasn't so much that Blaine wasn't hearing from Sebastian as it was Blaine didn't want to hear about the love of his life falling out of love with him and in love with someone else.
He put all of his focus into school and the Warblers, trying to take his mind of off some stupid Frenchman all over Sebastian like he was his to have. He needed a distraction, something more. He needed his mind off of the pieces of his broken heart floating in his chest, stabbing his lungs until he couldn't breathe in the middle of the night when all he could do is cry himself to sleep. He wished harder for /any/ sort of distraction than he ever had for anything in his life that night.
The next day as he hurried down the twisted staircase of Dalton Academy, on his way to Warbler's rehearsal someone tapped on his shoulder.
"Excuse me? Um, hi. Could I ask you a question? I'm new here."
Kurt wasn't anything like Sebastian, he was his complete opposite, and he was the perfect distraction. He took Blaine's mind of of the fact that he hadn't heard from Sebastian in a month, he kept him busy. And still, as he laid there in bed thinking the entire situation over, the clock ticking loudly on his desk, minutes passing faster and faster, getting closer to this engagement, he couldn't help but wonder if he was even really in love with Kurt. Sure he clung to Kurt like a needy boyfriend and he did love him, he loved him very much, but he wasn't sure that he was in love with him. He had only been in love once and that was with Sebastian and what he felt for Kurt was eons away from that. Sure, Kurt made him feel good with the attention he gave him, the nice words he'd say, and their first date was nice, too. But his heart didn't race when Kurt looked at him, his stomach didn't flip, nothing fluttered, and when they kissed there was no fire, no passion. And yet, he ignored that and went with what his head told him.
"Kurt is good for you, he loves you, go for it."
He completely ignored the way his heart was yelling the exact opposite at him.
"You don't love him like you love Sebastian. Kurt's not the one. Don't do it."
When he finally made the choice to propose to Kurt, it was the first week of their senior year, he and Sebastian still hadn't spoken, and he'd transferred to McKinley much to this family and friend's disapproval.
The Warblers were having their first meeting of the year, and he skipped his own glee club meeting to go talk to them, to ask for their help in proposing, he wanted it to be big and romantic to prove to Kurt that he loved him. What he didn't expect was to see Sebastian there. He knew Sebastian had come back over the summer, not because Sebastian called him or told him himself, but because he overheard his dad talking to Sebastian's dad one day. That was really the final straw for Blaine, his own boyfriend - ex-boyfriend - couldn't even call him up to let him know he was back in town? Fine. If he can just move on and forget me, so can I. He thought and that's just what he did, he went out and bought a ring the next day and now here he was planning the proposal.
His heart stopped beating when he saw Sebastian standing there, even more gorgeous than he was when he left, all of that pain he had buried deep inside of him started to crawl it's way up and settle in a huge lump in his throat. He tried to swallow it but it wasn't happening. "I-um, hi." He said softly.
A small smile picked up one side of Sebastian's mouth and he nodded. "Blaine,"
That was it? Really? No 'I missed you'? 'Sorry for leaving and breaking your heart'? Nothing?
When he realized Sebastian wasn't going to say anymore, he tried to gather his feelings and emotions which felt like they were trying their hardest to escape from the dark corners of his heart. He resisted his urge to forget Kurt and jump into the arms of the man he truly loved. What stopped him is how uninterested that man seemed. He turned his attention to the other Warblers, making his announcement and asking for their help, he didn't take his eyes off of Sebastian the whole time, looking for some reaction, but he just smiled and agreed to do it with everyone else.
Most of the Warblers left right after that, leaving Sebastian and Blaine alone in the common room, with Blaine looking down, shuffling his feet awkwardly, wanting the other to say something. But when he finally did, he wished he would've just stayed quiet.
"Married, huh?"
Blaine chewed on the inside of his cheek, just nodding softly.
"Listen, if you're feeling bad because of me, don't. You know all I want is for you to be happy." He said softly, getting a little closer to Blaine. "You're my best friend, B. Always have been, always will be."
With a heavy sigh, Blaine looked up at him. "Why didn't you call me? Or write? Or anything?"
Sebastian looked down, a pained expression wrinkling his forehead. "I thought it'd be easier on us. Being apart was….so hard, Blaine. It got harder to say goodbye to you in every letter and phone call." He whispered, shaking his head. "And then I found out we were moving back and I wanted to surprise you." An unamused chuckle left his lips. "I was stupid enough to think you'd wait for me."
Blaine felt his heart breaking all over again and he shook his head. "I-"
"B, don't. It's fine. You have Kurt and I…well there's Hunter, whatever he and I are." Sebastian looked at him, smiling a fake smile that Blaine could see right through. "I'm so happy that you're happy. And I'll be there, okay?"
When they hugged, Blaine felt so guilty. He should have waited. He should have known that Sebastian wouldn't just stop talking to him, he should have known him well enough to know that it was just to protect them from hurting each other even though it ended up killing them both.
….
On the day Blaine planned to propose to Kurt, he decided to talk to Sebastian first, openly and honestly, to see if he was doing the right thing, but he couldn't find Sebastian anywhere. He called him, over and over and over, but nothing. He left him voicemails that ranged from nice, to worried, to mad, to just plan upset. He didn't understand.
He later found out that Sebastian had went back to Paris without telling him.
Blaine took his still broken heart, his sadness and anger and buried it all again. He took that as a sign that he was doing the right thing.
And later that day when Kurt came walking down the staircase of Dalton Academy, he felt a flutter in his stomach, Sebastian miles away in his mind and physically, that made him feel like this could be right.
….
Blaine gasped quietly as he jerked awake, his eyes fluttering open and he sat up. He rubbed the palm of his hands into his eye sockets before looking around the room and letting out a huge sigh of relief when he realized he was in his dorm room at Dalton. He wiped at his face a little, trying to dry his damp cheeks from the tears he was apparently crying as he dreamed. Smiling to himself, he took a shaky breath. Everything was fine. "It was just a dream."
He couldn't get dressed fast enough that morning, hurrying to put on his tie as he left his room, making his way down to where Sebastian would be waiting on him with their coffee just like he did every day since freshman year. He could not wait to see his boyfriend after such a horrible dream, it left him feeling empty and hurt, almost as if it was real, he needed to see him and hug him to feel okay again. The moment he he rounded the corner, his eyes went straight to his tall, handsome, green-eyed man standing there waiting for him. His heart grew seven times it's size and a warmth spread through his chest that no one but Sebastian Smythe could cause.
"Hey baby," A grin pulled the corner of the taller's mouth up as his eyes landed on Blaine. "Here's your-whoa!" He chuckled as Blaine threw his arms around Sebastian's neck, hugging him tight, almost spilling the coffee.
Blaine took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, holding the other tight to him as he breathed him in. "Mmmm," He sighed happily. "I'm so glad to see you." He pulled back a little, looking into Sebastian's eyes, shaking his head.
"I'm glad to see you, too. What's up, killer?" He asked, handing over Blaine's coffee when they parted.
"I had the worst…weirdest dream last night." The shorter started, slipping his hand into Sebastian's, their fingers lacing together perfectly as they walked towards Blaine's first class. "You didn't come back from Paris and I ended up marrying Kurt."
Sebastian raised an eyebrow, sipping his coffee. "Who?"
"You now, the kid that transferred here last yet for like three months, the one I told you about?"
After a moment of thinking, the other shook his head again. "Nope, doesn't ring a bell."
Blaine just rolled his eyes, a soft chuckle falling from his lips. "You never listen to me."
Sebastian scoffed, looking at him. "I do, too!"
"Oh you do?" A teasing, affectionate tone wrapped Blaine's words up as he looked at the man he loved.
"Mmhm. Just like, I listen and know that you like to be kissed before classes." He said, stopping in the middle of the hallway and pulling Blaine closer to him.
Blaine just giggled, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, leaning into the other, looking up at him with the biggest pair of heart eyes. "I love you, you know that?"
Sebastian grinned, nodding. "I do know that. And I love you, too." He captured Blaine's lips in a kiss that was slow and loving, one that caused Blaine to melt and his toes to curl slightly as a fire quickly spread through him, his heart beating rapidly.
"Mmm," He hummed against the other's lips, his arm slipping around Sebastian's waist to pull him closer, deepening the kiss a little, his tongue swiping over his top lip, an action that caused Sebastian's body to prickle.
The taller broke the kiss a little, whispering against Blaine's lips, his breath quivering. "Let's ditch our first classes, I think I need to go back to my room for something."
"Oh yeah? You need help with that something?" He whispered, his hand sliding up under Sebastian's shirt, his fingers grazing over his skin gently.
"Definitely." He said, taking Blaine's hand again and hurrying up to his room.
The whole way up to Sebastian's room and all throughout the heated make out session on Sebastian's bed that turned into them pulling each other's clothes off hurriedly and clinging to one another as they made love, Blaine couldn't think of anything else but how lucky he was, and how grateful he was that his nightmare had only been just that. In reality, he and Sebastian didn't drift apart while he was gone to Paris and Kurt came and went without even a real close friendship blooming between him and Blaine and when Sebastian came back they picked up right where they left off and had no intentions of ever leaving one another.
To be honest, Sebastian had every intention of proposing to Blaine after high school. Well…at least he did until Blaine beat him to it on their graduation day.
