Seven Years Bad Luck

A Gravity Falls oneshot

By

EvilFuzzy9


Rating: T

Genre: Humor

Characters/Pairings: Dipper P.; [N/A]

Summary: After a while, supernatural activity stops seeming so impressive.


MUROLUCES ODRO SUVON

Dipper stared at the message scrawled into the condensation on the bathroom mirror, blinking once, then twice, as it processed. He pursed his lips and squinted, scratching his chin and furrowing his brow. Freckles scrunched up on dimpled cheeks.

Hiking up the towel around his waist, the soon-to-be teen made a mildly interested sound in the back of his throat.

"Huh," he said blandly. "A mysterious message written on the bathroom mirror while I was in the shower. How original."

Dipper's words hung in the air for a moment. He got the distinct impression that someone was glaring at him.

Then the mirror loudly squeaked, and more letters appeared below the first message.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER

"It's just 'new world order' backwards," Dipper said. "In Latin. And that's not even really what it means, either."

An impression of a hand appeared in the mirror with a SMACK, and Dipper heard the sound of someone exhaling rather hard. The glass misted over again, the prior messages vanishing.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

REDRUM REDRUM
DIE DIE DIE KILL

"That's even less original than the first one," Dipper said, rolling his eyes.

A beat.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

"Too young to get that reference," Dipper intoned. "Also, anyone who follows our social media accounts would know what we did last summer. It's really not that big of a surprise in this day and age."

There was a lengthy pause, as though whatever entity was writing in the mist on the glass was taking its time to concoct a new message.

Finally, just when Dipper was starting to suspect that the message-writer was all messaged out, something new appeared.

I'VE SEEN YOU NAKED

"… … …"

Dipper made a face and hiked his towel up a little more.

Warily, he grabbed the took a step toward the mirror.

NO WAIT WHAT
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE

Screaming a shrill battle cry, Dipper smashed the mirror. It shattered into pieces with a cacophonous sound. For a moment afterward, everything was still and silent.

Panting heavily, Dipper stared at the shards of the broken mirror littering the bathroom floor.

"Aaaannnnd now I think I'm traumatized," he muttered to himself. "Well. It'll be fun trying to explain this to the therapist. Or to Grunkle Stan."

A beat.

"…in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have smashed that mirror."


A/N: Something I posted on Tumblr a few weeks ago, and finally decided to post over here. It's short, but I dunno I thought it was funny.

Updated: 11-14-15

TTFN and R&R!

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