Twas a dark and stormy night on Privet Drive. Santa's reindeer had yet to come, and Harry wasn't going to sleep until he did. Just then, a crash! He ran outside to see what it was. Was it Santa? No, it was Josh Peck, in a blue, lightly colored mind you, suit of armor that he had handmade in the fires of Mt. Doom. "Merry Christmas, Harry!" exclaimed Josh as he went up to kiss Harry's lips. Harry backed away hastily, not wanting to give in to his devilish desires. But as soon as these thoughts crossed his mind, another crash was heard.

Once over to the crash site, Harry was overjoyed with relief, for within the smoldering smoke he daw his true lover, Peeta Mellark. Josh wanted Harry's nards since forever, but Harry only wanted that sweet, sweet Peeta bread.

Once inside, Harry pulled out his throbbing wang and turned to Peeta. Mr. Mellark remembered that he had a wife and kid at home, but he couldn't deny the Basilisk before him. Before he could react however, he noticed Josh's hand reach for Harry's member. Josh looked him straight in the eye and said…

"It's all ogre now."

To be continued…