(A/N) All right, I imagine I should warn any new comers that this is a sequel to my last story, The Winter Soldier, but you can certainly try to follow it if you want. I think what takes place in a Winter Soldier story is pretty self-explanatory. Really, the only place you might be lost is the bit with Loki at the end. Otherwise, all you lovely return readers, I hope you're excited. We're gonna play all the games we did before and then some (lots of some).

To Have and To Hold

Chapter 1: Will you…?

Considering Steve Rodgers' line of work, it wasn't particularly strange that he and Bucky Barnes began to work as partners after they became lovers. When the two of them were out on assignment, Bucky wore a uniform that was very similar to what he'd worn as a Howling Commando, the only addition being a black mask to protect his identity, as his partner was already so iconic. S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn't figure out how, but the press had somehow gotten a hold of the name Winter Soldier, so that's what they became in the media: Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Bucky bore the name mostly with grace, but there were still times he couldn't help but shudder at its use.

Again, in the world of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers, none of this was strange. The strangeness began when Bucky lost his head after a particularly dangerous battle with a platoon of robot soldiers and planted a rather passionate kiss on the good captain's lips, relieved beyond words that he hadn't been incinerated.

Fury had warned them to keep that sort of thing out of the field and it didn't take them long to find out why. A lone cameraman had captured the tender moment and the media firestorm had exploded overnight. The headlines ran the gamut from CAPTAIN AMERICA GAY! to AMERICA OUT OF THE CLOSET, along with some of the more ridiculous tabloid stories that insisted the Winter Soldier was secretly a woman.

It really didn't help to be operating in a country where the debate over gay rights raged so hot. Several politicians had blasted the two super heroes for presenting such an image of the United States to the rest of the world, given Captain America's historic and iconic status. Some even demanded he come forward and explain himself, which Steve would have done gladly, except that Fury had stated, in no uncertain terms, that it wasn't an option. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s PR liaison's official response to their detractors had been something along the lines of, "Do you defend the human race against threats beyond its most horrific nightmares? No? Then you have no place to judge them. Only their peers have that option, and you, gentlemen, are inarguably not their peers."

It was with things like this in mind that they went into the field these days. They were in the public eye nearly as much as Tony was with the Iron Man suit (and of course the public had gone absolutely gaga over the fact that he'd lost an arm in battle). Actually, they were working with Stark on this particular assignment. Some crazy Australian terrorist was playing the kidnapped love one card and it had been Tony's idea to pull the little stunt they were just about to execute.

"You know I still hate this idea, Stark," Steve berated the billionaire as he gave him a lift through the city, up to the designated rendezvous point…a nice, tall, easy to fall from skyscraper.

"Yeah, I remember, Capsicle, but your boy toy's definitely getting a kick out of it," Tony reminded him, to which Steve rolled his eyes. He had hotly protested the idea of Bucky allowing himself to be kidnapped, but all he and Tony had seemed to care about was having their fun with this wannabe criminal. So the Winter Soldier had been "captured" and…what was his name?...Doc Croc?...something ridiculous like that…had given Captain America the ultimatum of coming to meet him alone and unarmed in order to make a trade.

Once they were close enough, Tony gave Steve a good toss and the super soldier landed atop the roof of the skyscraper while Iron Man flew to a safe distance, leaving him to face the terrorist alone.

The doc was near the far edge of the roof, his captive bound and gagged at his feet…and easily within shoving distance of the edge. Bucky was seemingly unconscious…at least Steve hoped it was seemingly. Neither of the other two seemed to understand how horribly wrong this could go.

"Thought I said alone," the doc said, his voice thick with an Australian accent. For someone who called himself Doc Croc, he looked more like a crocodile hunter in his leather pants, vest, and hat, but the man had thus far proven he had at least a few brain cells to rub together.

"He's leaving. How else was I supposed to get up here?"

"The stairs," he suggested, eyeing the captain distrustfully. "You got what I asked for, little Miss Stars & Stripes?"

"I've got it," Steve said, pulling a vial from the place he normally kept his gun. He was feeling decidedly naked without even his shield on him.

"Ah," the doc crooned as he took the vial in hand, eyeing it with a bit more lust than any sane man had a right to eye an encapsulated chemical with. "So, Captain, how much of S.H.I.E.L.D. didja have to fight off to secure this little beauty?"

"Practically the whole damn organization," he growled, not really having to fake his frustration and worry. Bucky could at least give him some kind of sign he was okay.

"My, my, my," the doc chided as he headed back toward Bucky. "Captain America turnin' against S.H.I.E.L.D. Have I actually brought the great hero down to my level?"

"We had a deal," Steve continued to growl, not acknowledging the taunt. "Let the Soldier go."

"Now I think about it, I don't know that I should. I could get a lot more outta you for your precious soldier boy. You have no idea what you've given me, do you."

"No, and if I'm honest, I don't care. I just want you to let him go."

"All right, then. Beg me."

"What?"

"On your knees. I want you to beg me for his life."

Keeping his eyes locked on the doc, Steve did as he asked, moving easily to his knees.

"Please…don't hurt him."

"My God, is this guy still talking?" Tony's voice groaned through his earpiece. "What're you waiting for, Barnes? We're gonna get old here."

The doc actually started to laugh. "Look atcha. America's mighty defender…brought to his knees for one man," he mocked, seizing Bucky's unmoving bulk and dragging him right to the ledge, holding him out over the abyss below.

"Please," Steve repeated, unable to move, as he was gripped with fear at the sight of the all too familiar scene…Bucky…his life…hanging over an endless drop. "Please…just give him back."

"No," the doc said quietly, sneering as he let Bucky go.

Before Steve could move, before he could even scream a denial, Bucky was in motion, flipping through the air and landing back on the roof as the cuffs that held him broke into pieces, destroyed by his magic. Almost in an instant, their positions were reversed, with Bucky holding the doc over the ledge by his throat, a look of shocked terror on his face.

"You can't really let go of something if you didn't have a hold of it in the first place," he said with a smirk. "You, on the other hand, I'd say I've got a pretty good hold of just now."

A strangled noise of horror escaped the Australian's throat as his eyes wobbled in fear, but Bucky didn't realize it was all an act until he heard the very distinct sound of a pin being pulled from a grenade. The doc sneered at him as he glanced down just in time to see him toss the explosive directly at Steve.

"Cap!"

Bucky barely heard the man scream when he dropped him. His entire world became the shrinking distance between Steve and the soon-to-blow grenade. Throwing himself after it, Bucky sent out his power, knowing he could never catch it, but that he still might be able to stop it. Doing the only thing he could think of in the short amount of time, he threw up a shield around the grenade, pulling it back toward him; but just as he was about to grasp his little force field, the damn thing exploded. He was able to keep it mostly contained, but near the end there was a brief flicker in his magic and the last remnants of flame escaped and burned his still-flesh right arm. Grunting in pain, the soldier slowly crumpled to his knees.

"Buck!" Steve half screamed, snapping into action. In seconds, he was kneeling beside his lover, gently taking his injured arm in his hands to examine it. "We need to get you back to the tower."

Bucky gave a slightly pained chuckle as he shook his head. "It looks worse than it is. It'll be healed up by tonight. Stark might have to take a look at the hardware, though," he said, attempting to shrug his biomech left arm and failing.

"Yeah, I can do that. Probably make a few adjustments of my own, too," Tony announced as he flew up over the ledge, landing beside the two. "Wasn't fast enough to catch the guy. He's a smear on the pavement."

"Oops. What a shame," Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

"What…what happened there at the end?" Steve asked, trying to look Bucky in the eye. "When the blast escaped?"

"Oh…you know…pretty strong blast…I couldn't weave the spell to be strong enough in the time I had," Bucky said, barely managing to meet Steve's gaze. If he'd looked away entirely, Steve would have known he was lying, but for the moment, his childhood friend seemed to accept the explanation. Tony Stark was another matter altogether. Unnoticed by Steve, he raised his mask from his face and gave the Winter Soldier a very hard stare. Before he could say anything, though, Steve began to scold the both of them.

"Next time the two of you feel the urge to play games in the field, could you just not?" He half-growled. "You could have died," he said to Bucky as he helped him to his feet.

"Aw, come on. I wasn't really in danger. Stark would have had my back if I'd actually fallen," Bucky protested, trying to keep his tone light.

"While we're on the subject of falling, could we also please not play games around two-hundred-foot drops."

"Cap, it was just-"

"Do you honestly not understand what that did to me just now?" he shouted at him, even though he was still helping him to stand, all of his fear and frustration imploding in a single moment. "I saw you fall, Buck! Do you not get that?"

"Steve, I…I'm sorry," Bucky said, briefly backing down, "but I really was in control."

"Yes, your half-incinerated arm pretty much says it all," Steve sniped.

"Yeah, because you've never been injured in battle before," Bucky shot back.

"Okay, maybe the newlyweds wanna take it down a notch," Tony suggested, though his tone was only half-hearted at best.

"At least I wasn't deliberately provoking the enemy!" Steve continued as if Tony hadn't spoken at all.

"Enemy? What enemy? That guy was a pushover."

"So I guess that grenade just now was my imagination?"

"You know we can't be partnered like this if you can't even trust me to handle myself!"

"Maybe we shouldn't be. You have been suicidal in the past," Steve said, his expression going dark. Bucky's eyes immediately began to glisten at the insinuation.

"Don't you do that," he hissed. "Don't you even think about that. That was a long fucking time ago."

"Then why did you do that?" Steve demanded, his demeanor going from angry to near tears in mere milliseconds. "You don't have to deliberately put yourself in danger anymore!"

"God damn it, Steve! I was just-"

"Marry me!"

"If you think – wait…what?" Bucky mumbled, stumbling over his last words as he finally realized just what Steve had said to him. Steve seemed to realize it about the same time, his face going violently red beneath his mask.

"You…you heard me," he stuttered, barely able to believe he'd said it himself.

"Uh…could you ladies hold that thought a moment?" Tony finally managed to interrupt, levitating about five feet in the air, a barely visible wave traveling outward from his suit before he came back down.

"What…did you do?" Steve asked.

"Sent out a pulse. Just scrambled every piece of recording tech within a five mile radius of this spot, audio and visual."

"…Why?" Bucky asked after several minutes of thunderstruck silence.

"That…is definitely something you two little rabbits don't want leaking to the media. Maybe we ought to carry on with the domestic bliss indoors."

XxX

Later that evening, when the three had gotten back to Stark Tower, Steve had Bucky stand beside their bed while he rummaged through his chest of drawers.

"Damn it," he muttered as he searched. "I wanted to do this the right way…and then there I go…"

"Well…what were you planning to do exactly?" Bucky asked, trying not to stare at Steve's back while he searched.

"I was gonna ask you when this whole croc thing was over…after dinner tonight."

"Technically, you did wait til it was over…I guess," Bucky said awkwardly as Steve turned to face him, a small black box clutched in his hands.

"Well, Buck, we've been friends for a long time…a really long time…and even though we've only been together a few months…I'm not ever gonna love anyone else the way I love you, and I want to be with you until I die…and in our line of work, who knows when that'll be?" he said as he dropped to one knee.

"You're…kidding me with the knee thing, right?" Bucky teased, trying very hard not to show how choked up he really was.

"Hey! I said I was gonna do this right, so let me do it right," Steve fired back, though his face was lit with the brightest of smiles at seeing the look on Bucky's face when he opened the box to show him the simple silver band inside. "James Buchanan Barnes…Bucky…will you marry me?"

For what felt like a long time, Bucky just stared at him with a goofy smile plastered on his face, though he also looked like he might burst into tears at the same time.

"Damn it, Steve," he finally mumbled as he dropped to his knees in front of him. "Did you even really have to ask?"

"So that's a yes?" Steve asked breathlessly, needing to actually hear it.

"Yes, you idiot," he said, not allowing him to see the tears he let fall from his eyes as he pulled him into his arms. The two of them were soon lost in a tangle of laughter, tears, and kisses.

XxX

Later that night, after Steve had fallen asleep, Bucky slipped from their room and headed up to the lab where Tony had told him he'd be working that night to find him hard at work with Bruce on some project or other.

"Hey, Jack Frost," Tony greeted without looking up. "Come for that tune-up?"

"Yeah; I can move it okay now, but I think it's still a little loose."

"Hello, Bucky," Bruce said, actually looking up at him.

"Hey, Doc."

"So," Tony started once he'd had Bucky sit down on one of the lab tables, "is it official?"

"Yeah…yeah, it is," Bucky said, still hardly able to believe it himself.

"Is what official?" Bruce asked, coming over to see what Tony was doing as he opened up the mech arm.

"Steve and I are engaged," Bucky answered, holding up his mostly healed right hand to show them the ring Steve had placed on his finger.

"Congratulations…though…Fury's not gonna have a problem with-"

"So what if he does?" Tony interrupted, never missing an opportunity to take a swing at the director. "They're big boys; they can take care of themselves. Besides, what's he gonna do? Kick 'em out?"

"True," Bruce conceded, nodding in agreement. "So, I hear you all lost that vial I gave you."

"Couldn't find it. It's not gonna be a problem, is it?" Bucky asked, wincing slightly when Tony tweaked a connection between flesh and metal.

"Shouldn't be. We've got hundreds of those vials and the substance appears to be neutral. Can't even imagine what this doc guy could have wanted it for. Looks to me to be pretty useless, actually."

"On the subject of Croc, though," Tony picked up as he continued to work, "what happened with that grenade exactly?"

"You heard that already," Bucky said, though he visibly stiffened. "I wasn't fast enough."

"I don't know about that. You're faster than most of us…definitely faster than Doc Crock. What really happened?"

"It wasn't- Aagh!" Bucky cried out as Tony got his pliers around a nerve cluster that had separated from the metal, twisting until Bucky was in enough pain that the billionaire could bend him back over the table.

"Tony, what are you doing?" Bruce asked.

"What the Hell, Stark!" Bucky shouted as his torturer twisted even harder, drawing an even louder cry from his lips.

"Might want to think twice about lying to me while I've got a metal tool clamped around a part of your body," Tony advised, his expression cold.

"Might…want to think twice about making me scream," Bucky bit back. "Steve's gonna hear this eventually."

"Anybody taking bets on that? Bruce? JARVIS?"

Bruce shook his head and JARVIS immediately began to spout off all the various ways Tony had soundproofed the R&D levels of the tower.

"He's not going to be intervening any time soon, so let's talk," Tony said, giving yet another violent twist and forcing the soldier into silence. "After Tonsberg…you told us you essentially kill yourself a little bit every time you use magic."

"Yeah."

"And you never told Rodgers about that, did you."

Briefly, Bucky struggled against him, but it was half-hearted at best, so he ended up settling back on the table where Tony had him pinned. Not looking at either man, he finally answered, "No."

"That wasn't any ordinary slip today. You're starting to give out, aren't you."

"Probably," he said, glancing off to the side, anywhere but at the man who was forcing him to confront what he already knew. "I don't really know how it works…but Loki told me I'd die from it…sooner rather than later."

"JARVIS?" Tony ordered, not really needing to elaborate on what it was that he wanted.

"Sergeant Barnes' heart rate and blood pressure are well above normal. Blood pressure reads at 150 over 110."

"Damn, Frosty, if you weren't some kind of super soldier yourself, you'd probably be dead already."

"No kidding?"

"There's a simple solution to this, you know? Have you tried…not using magic?" Tony suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"It's how I fight now…how I protect Steve…when he can't protect himself. Like today…"

"At the cost of your life?" Bruce put in quietly from the side. "Do you really think that's going to make him happy?"

"I do try to use it less…but I don't always have a choice. Have you met Steve Rodgers? He has zero sense of self worth or self preservation."

"This isn't about Rodgers, Barnes. It's about the fact that you're killing yourself," Tony cut him off, giving him a harsh stare. "But if you want to make it about him, like you always do, let's talk about what it'll do to him when you drop dead on your wedding night and your blushing groom doesn't see it coming. Think he's gonna survive that very long?"

"Stop it," Bucky whispered, hardly able to even bear the thought.

"What was that? Didn't quite catch it."

"I said 'stop it'!" he shouted, using his free arm to throw Tony off of him. The genius tore free both flesh and mech as he was pushed back, leaving the arm hanging open with several sparking wires exposed and the shoulder bleeding where the nerve cluster had been torn out. Though the pain was intense, Bucky managed to stay on his feet, glaring poison at Tony.

"Maybe we should all just…take a step back," Bruce suggested, raising his hands in supplication to the two combatants.

"That's rich comin' from you, Doc," Bucky spat, still glaring at Tony. "Why do you care how I deal with this?"

"You think I don't know where you're coming from?" Tony asked as he climbed back to his feet. "That I don't know what it's like to be the one dying? I do. I also know it's just about the shittiest thing in the world to do to someone you care about…not tell them you might be dying, even if you think you're protecting them. And how you treat that capsicle sleeping in your room does kinda concern me…especially if you plan to stay alive long enough to marry him," he said, getting right back up in Bucky's face.

"I've been…lookin' out for him since we were ten. How can I quit now?" he asked, his anger seeming to drain out of him all in an instant, leaving him looking lost. "What can I do?"

Quite suddenly, Tony began to smirk again, his sternness evaporating easily. "You could try asking for help, Frosty. It's pretty easy."

"W- what?"

"Hey, I figured out how to keep my own hardware from killing me. We can probably figure this out, too. Just gotta figure out the angles," Tony said, coaxing him back onto the lab table. "Should probably start by talking to the Asgardians, and you, Mr. Freeze, better get started on a magic diet. Though, if that thing on your finger means anything to you, you'll tell Rodgers about this…soon," he said, getting serious one last time before getting back to his work. "'cuz if you don't, we will."

"No…don't do that," Bucky protested as the pliers began to replace his exposed wiring. "I…I'll tell him. I just…need a little more time…"

a little more time to be a happy, naïve moron who just got engaged to the love of his life.

XxX

More often these days, Loki found himself thinking he was getting sentimental in his isolation. In the first few months, he'd made good use of his powers to fashion living quarters out of the sprawling labyrinth of caverns beneath the desert surface of his new home. When the pains his two children caused him became utterly unbearable sometime in the third month, he'd decided to shift into female form, at least until after they were born and no longer needed to nurse. The shift had helped, even if only for a little while.

Currently near the end of his sixth month, one of the twins was already very active. Keeping tabs on their development, Loki knew he carried both a boy and a girl, and it was the little girl who caused him such pain, insisting on testing out her developing limbs on his helpless innards. Despite the torture, he found himself growing fond of the rambunctious baby girl. She would be a fighter. He could use that.

In his massive amounts of spare time, Loki also found himself fashioning toys for the little ones. Toy weapons, animals, musical instruments, whatever he could think of. He wanted to be able to give them anything they could possibly want…except friends, of course. There wasn't anything he could really do about that except conjure up illusions. The three of them would have to do for each other, but he had to admit he rather liked the thought of that…two helpless little beings who were absolutely dependant on him.

Right now, he was sitting in a rocking chair in the room he had dubbed the nursery, having a bit of a rest after another long day of making baby toys. His little girl wasn't make it easy for him, though, active and (dare he think it?) violent as she was. He rubbed his slightly bulging stomach soothingly as he rocked, in what he was fast realizing was a vain attempt to placate her. She was constantly moving around, and how her brother could manage to stay so still without being dead with her rolling around in there was beyond him, but he certainly wasn't going to argue. His son's calm gave him at least a bit of an anchor through what could only be described as his daughter's tantrum.

"Isn't there anything that will calm you down, little princess?" he asked out loud, finding himself doing that more and more often lately…talking to them. "Mummy needs to rest sometimes, too."

What felt like a jab to his liver seemed to say, No, you don't sleep unless I say so.

Sighing, Loki continued to rub his belly, in pain, but still somehow pleased.

"You really are my daughter, little spitfire."

XxX

(A/N) So…doing anything for you?