-o-This is all Jesus.Lives's fault. I promise the next think I update won't be this weird. Or un-edited. This is pretty much the crappiest thing I've ever uploaded. Ali-chan, this does NOT count for our deal, okay? Oh well. I tried-o-

-o-

Iroh faced his niece and nephew, a fierce frown marring his normally jovial features. His hands shifted in front of him, trying to read their moves and block the young Avatar and his Waterbender as best he could so they would be able to escape. He didn't dare look, but he could hear the rushing water and could sense their ki presences rising towards the surface.

"Uncle, just give up," Zuko pleaded, trying to sound convincing. The hardest part of this double-betrayal plan would be to truly convince Azula. "We don't want to have to kill you."

"I had more trust in you, "the older man spat, playing his part well. "I thought I had taught you to respect yourself. That's where true honor lies."

"Don't listen to him, Zuko," Azula commanded darkly. "Stand down, Uncle."

"I will not."

"Then I will make you," Azula began the motions of a complex lightning bending technique, but was distracted by two figures dropping from the same opening Katara hand left through, landing on either side of the Dragon of the West.

"I have no clue why we're here," the first of these newcomers, a girl with a raspy voice and wild hair announced as she landed with catlike fluidity, "but we're not going to let you win." The other intruder, a tall young man drew an arrow from his quiver and directed it towards the encroaching Dai Li agents who were sneaking up from behind.

"Pathetic, Uncle," Azula said in her usual critical manner. "Not only do you ally yourself with street scum, but you can't even inspire the author to come up with a good explanation for their presence."

"How is that his fault?" Zuko asked, confused.

"We should probably fight now," Longshot countered in his even (SEXY) voice.

"But the author sucks at fight scenes," a random Dai Li agent whined, only to be silenced by the crack of Azula's cruel lightning bending.

Fire erupted out of the Dragon of the West's mouth, and the siblings had to dash out of the way to avoid the heat. Longshot's arrows were burned one by one in the air as Azula used them for target practice. Smellerbee danced around Zuko's fire whips, but was never able to get close enough to use her daggers. Iroh grabbed his niece's hand and twisted her to the ground, but she evaded the flames he sent towards her. Longshot was free to terrorize the Dai Li, who were shooting rocks indiscriminately towards the main characters.

"I'm not really evil," Zuko told Smellerbee as they fought. "I'm just trying to trick my sister into thinking so." Azula was too busy fighting Iroh to hear the confession.

"Whatever, Scarface," Smellerbee said, and the insult stung more than was necessary to the Prince, who could have been healed but sadly, wasn't.

The Dai Li while being bad guys and therefore required to have only marginally good aim at good guys, somehow managed to surround and immobilize the strange trio.

"Now you'll pay," Azula said menacingly, unable to come up with anything more original. She raised two fingers and prepared to call lightning into her body. A deep, echoy voice suddenly rang out throughout the cavern.

"NO." It said. A green orb sailed through the air and impaled itself on Azula's overly sharp fingernails.

"The..Cabbage Man?" Iroh stuttered.

"Who are you?" The Fire Princess demanded, trying with some difficulty to remove the vegetable from her hands.

"The name's Kantu. I'm here to save the day." The Earth Kingdom man raised his hands ominously, and from every crevice and opening into the underground city, cabbages began rushing towards him. Purple, green, white...every possible species of cabbage heeded the call and bound towards him, knocking the Dai Li to the ground and swirling around his body. He reached into the swirling mass and selected the perfect cabbage. Kantu held out the vegetable towards Zuko.

"THIS is your Crossroads of Destiny. You must make your decision, now." The teen took the cabbage and looked at its green spherical shape in his hands.

"You're right, Kantu." Zuko said, and the cabbage began to glow. He walked over to his sister and forced it down her throat.

"I choose...this!" Suddenly, Azula exploded.

"So...do we win?" Smellerbee asked.

"I don't know, but I guess we can all agree that this was a WEIRD fanfic..." Iroh shook his head.

If you agreed with him, Review!