Disclaimer: I totally with that I own the Hunger Geams, and Katniss, and Peeta, and Glae, and everyone else, but sadly, I do not. :-(
Today, as I hunt outside of District 11, I am unusually loud and clumsy. I can't catch anything to save my life. Though, I guess that is exactly why I am out hunting. Mum is going to be mad. With the other four kids at home, and her not making much money, I am the only one that brings in any money, food, clothing- basically, the building blocks of life. We do it all, me and-
No. I can't say her name. She's gone now. She's out of my life, and that's all I can do. It's all I can do to not think of her. We've been best friends since we were little, so that makes me forgetting her a little hard. Not harder than everything else we've been through. Ever since we were little kids, we were inseparable. I was a few years older than she was, but that never stopped us. Then, the Capitol had to step in and change all that.
When the 74th Hunger Games were announced, Katniss and I pretty much figured that if either of us were going to be picked, it would be me. I mean, my name was in that drawing hundreds of times. It wasn't a choice, it was a necessity; my family needed the food. We walked to the drawing confidently, knowing that a boy and a girl would be chosen on this day. They would be brought away from their families, to fight to the deaths. We would watch- not because we wanted to, but because we were ordered to. We wouldn't do it willingly, but we knew that there was nothing we could do to change that.
Then, Prim was called. Katniss's sweet, dear sister was called. And Katniss volunteered, just as everyone expected. Honestly, I didn't expect anything else. She always looked out for Prim. Prim was one of the only things Katniss lived for.
A boy was called next. Peeta Mellark. I remembered him. He was, well, not really friends with Katniss, but they knew each other. Peeta seemed to remember Katniss well; if Katniss recognized him, she didn't let on. They became very close as the weeks went on. Especially during the actual Games.
During the showing of the Arena, I couldn't watch. Yes, I was required to sit in the room with the TV on, but when the cameras turned to Katniss and Peeta, kissing and touching, I closed my eyes. I threw up when Peeta declared his "love" to Katniss. No one can possibly explain how horrific it was for me. The worst part about it? I'll give you three guesses.
Number 1, I loved her.
Number 2, He loved her.
Number 3, She had to act like she loved him.
Actually, it was none of those. The real reason that I was so upset was that she loved me, but didn't know it. I knew she did. If everything had turned out the way it was supposed to, without any stupid Hunger Games, it went without saying that we would be together one day. Everyone in the village gave us looks when we would walk into the village together, knowing what Katniss didn't.
I stop in my tracks, not able to think about this. Not now that she is about to enter her second Hunger Games. After the first one ended, I could barely look her in the eyes. Our relationship is ruined forever, and I think that both of us know that. As I start to walk again, pacing through the woods as softly as I can, I start to cry.
I don't cry for things that have happened, or things that could have. In life, "could have" and "should have" are meaningless words. The thing I cry for is what will happen next.
I have already lost Katniss once. Now, fate has given me two choices. I can lose her to death. I can lose her to something worse- another's love.
If you were in my position, which one would you choose?
