Chapter one: The SeeD She Loved
We had just completed the field exam for SeeD. As we waited back
in Balamb for the results. I could hear faintly hear Seifer and his
comrades arguing with Zell behind me. I could make out that it was about
the Dollet mission earlier today, but I was trying to ignore the two of
them. I walked away trying to get their childish behavior out of earshot
when I heard someone call my name.
"Squall, where are you going?" I turned to see Quistis standing
there in the SeeD uniform holding a clipboard and eying me with an odd
look. "Don't you want to hear if you made the cut"
I replied to her in my usual fashion, "I had to get away from
those two"
"Always the lone wolf?" a slight smirk crossed Quistis' face as
she said that. "But surely even you are dying to know if you passed the
field exam." I merely shrugged. She walked up beside me and gave me
another look, this one as though she wanted to get something off her mind.
Like maybe something had happened after we arrived. Despite my
indifference I could almost feel as though a tiny part of me was worried.
I dismissed it as a sign of fatigue, or maybe feeling I owed her for
saving my life earlier. After a moment Quistis looked down and walked
away, but paused to say one more thing, "If you pass, meet me on the
balcony of the party room. consider it an order from your instructor." As
she spoke that nagging feeling of concern surfaced again.
"Why?" I asked.
"Please. If you pass just meet me there ok?" At this point I knew
something was on her mind. Something she wanted to tell me. But why me?
After all, I'm the most introverted person in Balamb. I'm probably the
last person anyone would want to tell their problems to. Yet here she was,
asking for me to meet her at a party I wasn't really wanting to go to
anyway.
"Ok. I'll see you there," I don't know why I said I'd be there.
even I couldn't believe I'd said it. Quistis looked at me one last time,
with a slight smile on her face before walking off at a brisk pace. I
swear I don't get women. One minute looking upset, then the next all happy
go lucky. Time's like this I'm grateful to be a guy.
I walked backed to the waiting room just in time to hear my name
being called off from the list of passing candidates. Zell, judging from
his leaping up and down like a frog on adrenaline must have also passed
the field exam. Suddenly I felt a strong slap on my back. I arched my head
already well aware of who had done it.
"Well how about that? Looks like the two of us passed the exam"
Seifer said smiling in his usual pompous way. I jerked sharply to make
some distance between the two of us. He continued with his boasting, "Yep
I gotta admit, even I'm surprised I passed. Usually the Garden frowns on
disobedience, but I guess they have sense to respect a superior judgment"
Oh how I wanted to punch that loudmouth right now. Only the fact that I
had other things on my mind kept me from actually doing it. I decided to
go to the training area and let of some steam on a few of the plant
creatures running around there instead of on Seifer.
I must have spent the better part of the day in training, because
when I Left I had barely enough time to shower and change for the party.
Plus the Garden People had moved my stuff to a single room and no one
bothered to tell me. So logically I arrived at the party in a less than
pleasant mood. The massive bash was in full swing when I arrived, music
and an aura of good feeling permeated the whole place. The feeling almost
made me ill. I gazed over the room indifferently, the only things worth
noting were; a very hungry Zell devouring the food at the snack table,
Raijin and Fujin leaning against a wall trying to look cool, and amid the
sea of dancers something that surprised even me. There was Seifer, dancing
with a girl. She was an attractive young girl with dark hair. Although she
must have had some sort of mental problem if she was dancing with Seifer.
They danced quite well which surprised me because I always thought Seifer
had two left feet. I walked down away from the dance floor, and even
though I knew no one cared one way or another whether I was even at this
party. I still felt like everyone was watching me. I never liked public
events so why should this one be any different?
I grabbed a drink of some sort from one of the waitresses that
walked by and went to the balcony. A cold breeze blew across me as I
waited for Quistis. It felt good to be outside, I felt as though I were
away from everything and everyone as I looked over the balcony edge to the
ocean. The stars were out and soon a fireworks display would begin to
commemorate the new graduates. I suppose a person might find these moments
to be romantic, or ideal for a date, but not me. I prefer to be away from
people, away from their inane problems and concerns. I couldn't help but
smirk at thinking this. Because here I was, Not because I wanted to come,
but because Quistis asked me to.
As if on cue she leaned against the balcony beside me. She was in
her everyday wear, although her face seemed to show the concern over what
ever was on her mind from earlier today.
"bout time you arrived," I remarked rather coldly, even for me.
"I'm sorry you had to wait. Some last minute things came up,"
Quistis replied softly. she turned around gazing into the elated party
going on without us. Not so much for her interest I think, but to give her
something to talk about other than what was on her mind. "Did you see
Seifer dancing with that girl in there? Even I didn't think he had it in
him"
"So you made me come to this party just to tell me that. Well if
that is all you wanted to say can I go?" As I said this she looked back at
me, she still seemed upset about something though she tried to hide it
from sight.
"No, that is not why I wanted you here, " she took a deep breath
and her gaze seemed to peer right into my soul. I averted my eyes from
hers. "I'm no longer an instructor here. Even though all of you passed I'm
being reprimanded for Seifer's disobedience"
"Why did they even pass him at all then?" I asked.
She lowered her head to look back over the balcony "I don't know,
but it was an order from headmaster Cid himself so no one argued about his
passing into SeeD. Oh Squall I don't know what to do, I enjoyed teaching
so much and now I'm just a normal SeeD like you." she turned to me once
again, and I could see there was something else she wanted to say to me.
"I loved everything about teaching," she sighed lightly, "still there was
one bad thing about being a teacher"
"what was that?" I asked as she seemed to be leading up to
something.
"An instructor cannot be in a relationship with a student," for
some reason she wouldn't look at me as she spoke this.
"What are you dating a student?" I replied, slightly annoyed.
Her batting around whatever she wanted to say was getting on my nerves.
"NO! I'd never have done such a thing. I wouldn't have compromised
my job for love," She paused for a moment as if to make sure she wanted to
say what she wanted to say. "But I am in love with a student in Balamb. I
thought it wouldn't happen, but it did. And since nothing else has gone
right lately, all I have left is the hope that maybe he'll return my
feelings," she smiled lightly as she finished. Not much of a happy smile,
but more of a failing hopeful smile.
I looked at her still a bit annoyed. I did not come to this stupid
party just to hear of teacher student forbidden love from a girl I usually
took for somewhat normal. "So tell the guy already. I didn't come her to
be your matchmaker." She took my hand and cast a face at me as though I
had missed something in the conversation.
"Squall, you don't understand. The person I'm in love with..." She
tensed up. clearly this was very hard for her to admit to anyone. "...is
you"
To say I was surprised was an understatement. I jerked back and
looked at her shocked. To think someone would love me was just impossible.
surely this is all some cruel joke. "Surely this is just some joke your
playing, right?" I barely managed to speak those lines as she kissed me on
the lips. I'd never been kissed until that point. Which seems sad I
suppose, but given my disposition not much of a shock. She looked deeply
into my eyes. She was very upset from losing her teaching position. Maybe
she felt I was the only good thing left to hope for. Maybe she hoped that
I harbored the same feelings for her. The funny thing was, I wasn't so
sure I didn't right then. I gently pushed her away. "Quistis this isn't
like you"
She seemed to be squeezing one hand with the other, maybe she was
fighting back and urge to cry. "Squall please, I've lost the job I wanted
most in life without any hope of returning to it. The only good thing that
could come of this is you. Please tell me you feel the same way for me"
I was unable to speak. She wanted an answer I didn't have. Why
couldn't I just utter a smart mouth remark to make her hate me for being a
jerk? Why did I now suddenly seem to care how she felt? Why was her
standing there upset making my stomach feel weird. Why am I thinking about
this so much? All I could do was stammer out, "I don't know, I just don't
know"
I think I had just destroyed what little hope she had. Quistis
walked away from me, slowly at first but by the time she reached the door
to the party she was running full force. I also thought I heard her crying
as she did. I could do nothing except stand there and watch her run off.
But I couldn't escape one nagging question, Why was this bothering me so
much?
