Lplover93 was kind enough to beta this chapter for me, since my lovely, Cullen Confection was drooling and snoring away on her pillow. I could never wake her from her Rob humping dreams.. *snickers*
Warning: This chapter contains sensitive matters.
Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer, nor will I ever be. I will never be able to say that I dreamed up the whole mess of the 'Twilight Saga', but I am me, and I have a sick and twisted mind. I will continue to be the same person who enjoys reading hot as fuck lemons, and writing said, hot as fuck, lemons.
That being said… The idea for this story was birthed in my best friends mind, and she did write the first chapter. It was after writing most of this chapter, that she felt the need to pass it along to me. Apparently this was my story, as she so eloquently put it. So I'm here, editing what she wrote, and bringing it to all you lovely ass bitches. I hope to bring it justice, and make her proud. *snorts* I flove you, Minerva! Always will, bitch! HaHa
Please know, that I haven't written anything like this in the past, and that it will take me some time. Updates will come when they come, I won't sit here and promise that you'll see them once a week, or anything like that. I will tell you though, that I will give it my all.
Now, let's get this shit started…
"Isabella!" The cold tenor of his voice called.
"Where in the hell are you?" His voice demanded, growing louder and deeper, the closer he got. My body shook with fear, knowing he was pissed.
Hello, my name is Isabella Marie (Swan) Smith. I am a twenty-five year old woman, who married her college sweetheart, James Smith; although I could hardly call him sweetheart these days.
I grew up in Manhattan, New York. My father was a cab driver, while my mother worked endless hours at a local diner. We didn't have much, but they raised me the best that they could. My mother made sure that I got a college education, as she and my father both worked over-time to pay for it.
I married James straight out of college. Not long after, I opened my own business "Bella's Designs." My office was located in Tower One of the World Trade Center, in lower Manhattan. My husband, James worked down the street in his own law firm. So together, James and I lived a very comfortable life, financially speaking.
When I first met James, my senior year of college, he seemed to be everything I wanted in a man. He was well educated, strong-minded and polite. James was a very quiet man but fun. When I married James, I vowed that I would do my best as his wife and at the time I meant it. With all of my heart, I meant it. We weren't even six months into our marriage when I discovered a side of James, that made me fear for my life.
One evening, I came home late after a long day at the office to find James pacing the living room floor. His face was set in stone and his eyes were filled with fierce hatred. I approached him slowly, but before I could ask what was wrong, he lashed out, smacking me hard across the face and called me a whore. The blow to my face sent me backwards, my body crumbled, as I hit the wall.
With each blow, he accused me of cheating and demanded that I sell my company; the very company I put all my blood, sweat, and tears into. James angrily explained to me that night that I was to be a homemaker and mother to his children.
Don't get me wrong, I wanted children, but not that soon and I sure as hell didn't want to sell my company. I loved that company; I built it myself from the ground up. I'll admit that my success wasn't hard to come by and I managed to thrive in a short length of time, but goddamn it, that was my company.
That night, before I let sleep pull me under, I watched James as he slept. I was baffled, hurt and saddened by the fact that he had a violent side to him. I couldn't believe that he had hit me tonight. He had never done anything like this in the past. We had had difference of opinions in the past, but never had he ever laid a finger on me to cause me harm.
"Isabella!" His harsh voice pulled me from my thoughts, causing my body to tense.
I finished brushing my teeth, darting for the door. My eyes met his, as he was stood there waiting for me at the bathroom door. His arms were crossed one over the other, resting on his chest.
"How many damn times must I call for you?" He seethed, shoving me slightly.
"I'm sorry, James. I was brushing my teeth." I said, my body still tense.
"Sorry, James, I was brushing my teeth" He mocked, rolling his eyes. "I told you yesterday evening, I had an early meeting. That I wanted my breakfast early today."
"I'm sorry. It completely slipped my mind." I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes.
I knew that look on his face and I knew that I was in trouble.
"Why can't you ever abide by me, Isabella? Why can't you be the kind of wife that appreciates her husband?" He demanded, pushing me harder and further back into the bathroom.
Picking up my toothbrush, he launched it at my face, as he stepped closer to my trembling body.
"Sometimes I wish I had never met you, Isabella. We are, unmistakably, two different people, who got married for all the wrong reasons. Two people who, without a doubt, want different things in life." He seethed, ripping the buttons from my blouse. The buttons scattered throughout the air, leaving my blouse hanging wide open.
"You know Phil's wife is on baby number three. What the hell is wrong with you, why can't you give me a child?" He sneered, cupping my breast roughly in his hand, and starting groping me all over.
"James, please, we have to get to work. You have an early meeting." I whispered, trying to hold the tears back.
James froze, his body going rigid. He raised his head and looked me dead in the eyes; he grinned and then slammed my body against the cold tiled wall.
"What's the matter? Is your boyfriend at the office going to worry about you showing up late?" James laughed, taunting me, as he started removing my clothes and pushing his body forcefully against mine.
"James, I don't have a boyfriend at the office." I sniffled, as he pinned my hands above my head, continuing to callously grope my body.
I cried out in pain when he forced his fingers inside of me; relentlessly showing no mercy. He had my hands pinned above my head with his free hand, and his shoulder holding me firmly against the wall.
"It's no wonder that you can't conceive a baby, you can't even get wet. Maybe your female parts are as fucked up as you are." He scoffed, as he removed his fingers and undid the button of his slacks.
This is not the first time that James had ever raped me and I am sure it wouldn't be the last. I knew that I was his wife, but it was rape. Sex with James used to be simple, he at least was gentle. Now he takes it, getting off on the fact that he hurt me.
"James, please, it hurts and you know it." I cried out for mercy.
"It hurts? I thought you liked it rough, Mrs. Smith?" He laughed, all the while pushing himself forcibly inside of me.
My body was limp and in pain, as he continued to pound into me. My mind was completely numb, void of anything. James was grunting, as he whispered dirty words in my ear.
"You know that feels good. Having my cock abusing your pussy," He sneered, grabbing my hair and jerking my head backwards, so he could see my face.
"Say it, Isabella." He demanded, forcing my tear-filled eyes to meet his.
"Yes, James." I choked, trying to keep the bile down.
"Yes, James, what?"
"Yes James, it feels good."
Hell no, it didn't feel good, I could have vomited on those words and they tasted like poison on my tongue. I hated his touch, I hated his looks, I hated everything about this man; I hated him.
I swear to God that I was going to get away from him. I'd move heaven and earth if I had to, I would find a way. James was always telling me that if I ever left him, he would make my life a living hell. He had threatened to kill me, in graphic details.
One day while we were at a local fish market, he had held a fish hook in his hand. He took the hook and placed it to my cheek. Slowly, he ran the hook down my face, then my neck and finally onto my chest. He laughed, as he explained to me the torture that he would inflict on my flesh with a hook just like that one.
"Oh God!" James cried out, as he finally reached his climax.
He laid his sweaty face on my neck. I could feel his sticky flesh sticking to my skin. I wanted to push him off and run. I wanted to vomit at his feet, to show him just how sick his touch had made me really feel.
"That color was all wrong on you baby." James snickered at my shredded blouse that lay at our feet.
"Blue is not your color. You need to rid your closet of anything blue."
He stepped away, pushing his flaccid cock into his slacks, affixing the button back in place.
After he left the bathroom, I walked over to the mirror, I looked like hell and I needed to be in my office in thirty minutes. I finished removing what clothing wasn't ripped from my body and stepped into the shower. Maybe if I scrubbed my flesh hard enough, I could rid it of James' vile touch. My lower body ached, feeling as if my female parts were on fire.
After I stepped out of the shower, James was standing in the doorway with one of his arms propped up.
"I'll see you this evening, around five. Try to be home and have dinner waiting." He said. "I love you, Isabella, and you know I don't mean to hurt you."
"I know." I whispered.
"Good. I'll see you around five?"
"I'll try, James, I have a lot going on at work."
"Well family comes first. You pay people to handle everything; maybe you should fire some people and hire someone who knows what they are doing." I knew who he was throwing that comment at, Angela Webber.
Angela was my right-hand woman. I don't know what I would do without her. She did more work than her position called for, working endless hours, so I could leave the office at James' demand. I guess, she stayed because we were friends.
Angela knew all about James, she was my one and only friend, in my world of hell. James forbade any friendship I had outside of work. If it had not been for Angela, I would have lost my mind a long time ago. She begged me to leave James and even offered to let me stay with her.
~!~
"Hey Bella. Your sister-in-law called." Jessica informed me as soon as I stepped off of the elevator.
"I'll call her later." I hated my sister-in-law, Victoria. She was always sticking her nose into mine and James' business. She has to be one of the most narrow-minded, pompous and interfering person I had ever met.
I walked into my office and shut the door behind me. I could breathe now. I loved being at work, tucked away in my corner office. I didn't have to worry about James looking over my shoulder or fear of being physically assaulted for saying or doing the wrong thing.
I sat down at my desk and got to work. Before I knew it, it was lunch.
"Bella…" I heard Angela's voice and a knock, as she opened the door.
"Hey Ang," I said, smiling at my best friend.
"Lunch?" She asked.
"Nah, I think I will work through lunch and try to get as much done as possible. James wants me home around five." I glanced at the clock, biting my bottom lip nervously.
Closing the door behind her, Angela walked over and sat on the leather couch that sat in front of my window.
"Bella, I wanted to let you know that the apartment next to mine is now open." Angela informed me.
"Ang, I can't. You know he'll never let me go." I reminded her, as the unshed tears stung my eyes.
"Bella, why can't you just go to the police? There are laws that will prevent him from harming you. They can protect you."
"Ang, his best friend is the chief of police. He is a high priced lawyer. The law is on his side, through preferential treatment. You know that he has already threatened to take my company, if I dare to divorce him." I removed my glasses and rubbed at my eyes.
"He threatened to take my life, if I try to leave." I whispered.
"I am damned to stay with him. There is no way out Ang. He threatened to have me kidnapped and tortured."
"Tortured?" Angela questioned, her eyebrows shooting up, and concern laced her voice.
"Tortured. As in taking me somewhere where my cries cannot be heard, torturing my flesh with hooks, knives and God only knows what else. He said that after he was finished torturing me, he would burn me alive."
"That's sick, Bella. Really sick. Why can't you tell the police about his threats. Record him saying these things or something, and then they would have to listen." She said.
"You don't know James like I do, Ang. James has power, influence that I don't have. He comes from a family with money and power. I come from working class people, who spent their lives working their fingers to the bone, just so I could have a shot in this world." I explained.
"I hate him. I hate that you have to live through this every day."
"I hate him too. Believe me; no one hates my husband as much as I do. I don't understand why he wants to stay married. He confessed his own unhappiness to me."
"What are you going to do, Bella, spend the rest of your life in a loveless marriage? Continue to be abused for the rest of your life?" Angela asked.
"I don't know. I live life one day at a time now. I don't think about the rest of my life." I frowned, rubbing my hand over my face.
"What about kids? Don't you dream of having happiness and babies one day?"
"I honestly don't dream about much anymore. This company is all I have to keep me sane."
"I wish that there was something I could do." Angela said as she walked to the door, putting her hand on the doorknob. She turned back to face me.
"I would do anything to help you." She whispered and left my office.
I called to check on my mother. It was the only time I could speak to her. James hated my parents; he said that they had no class. I didn't get to see my parents much, James hated it when they dropped by. I usually got in trouble when they would come by without warning. I never told my mother about any of it, I think she just knew, so my parents started staying away more and more.
My mother only called me at the office; she never called the house anymore. James' family could come by or call anytime, that was fine.
I have been sneaking money from my company from the start for my parents. I have it wrote up, as a work expense, in hopes that James never discovered it. Another account I have, that James knows nothing about, is "Thank you God for making an escape, I'm leaving James" fund. I started the account last year. It's in Angela's name and I have added every dime I can scrape up, without James knowing, into that account.
I worked in silence for the rest of the day, with only my music playing. I wasn't allowed to listen to music at home. James called my taste in music as noise. I was so caught up in work and the music that I lost all track of time. Looking up at the clock, it reminded me, it was ten minutes after five.
I sprang to my feet, grabbed my purse and coat, leaving my computer idle, as I rushed out the door and headed home. All the way home, I prayed that James would be running late or still at his office.
Something, anything, just please don't let him be home.
The first thing I noticed when arriving home was James' car sitting in the driveway. He was home. I took a deep breath and walked inside.
"Well, well, well." James' voice came from the kitchen.
"You're finally home. How was your day dear?" He sarcastically asked.
"My day was fine; and yours?" I replied.
"Well lets' see. I had a pain in the ass meeting, first thing this morning. I sat in my office all day, daydreaming of a wife that would be home when I got here, and have dinner waiting for her hard working husband." He rubbed his chin and walked closer. "I guess I am a foolish man, you know? I mean, with the daydreaming of my wife ever doing anything to make me happy."
"James, I'm sorry. I had a lot on my plate at work." I sighed, leaning back against the door.
"Well at least you have something on your plate." He walked toward me, holding a fork up in his hand.
No! He wouldn't go that far. Would he?
"JAMES! No! Please, let me explain." I pleaded, watching him stalk towards me, trying to cover my face with my hand, but it was too late, James stabbed me in the hand that was trying to protect my face, with the fork.
I fell to the floor, the fork still standing up in my hand, as sobs erupted from my throat. Pure agony.
"Isabella." James whispered, dropping to his knees.
"I didn't mean to do it, baby, I swear. Are you okay?" He scooped me up into his arms and held me to him tightly.
"Please, James, don't touch me." I pushed away from him, staggering backwards.
"DON'T!" He yelled.
"Please, allow me to hold you." He murmured, as he ripped the fork from my flesh.
"Oh God!" I cried out, trying to stay upright, as my mind grew fuzzy.
My blood was spilling out, all over me, the floor and James. James continued to try and hold me to him, while I continued to push him away.
"Please James, please, just stop." I begged, standing up in an attempt to get away from him.
I was leaving, I didn't care where I went or if he did try to kidnap and torture me. I needed to leave; I needed to get the hell out of this joke of a marriage, once and for all.
"I'm sorry." James whispered, standing to his feet.
"I'm fine." I lied, covering my wound with my other hand.
"Just please, let me clean this up."
"Make love to me." James spat out.
"Make love to you? Are you kidding me? James, you need help. You're sick." I boldly spat back.
James never answered me but grabbed me and kissed me. I pushed against his chest, but I wasn't strong enough to push him away. He grabbed my hand that I had used to cover my wound and he licked the blood from my hand.
He pushed me back onto the couch and started hitting me in my face, my head and my neck repeatedly. Over and over. Over and over. He was yelling how much he hated me with each punch, each blow.
Finally, after what felt like hours, he stopped. He stood in front of me, staring down at me with cold eyes, and for the longest moment neither he, nor I, spoke a word.
As he towered over me, I thought back to the beginning of our marriage. James had started hitting me, not long after we were married, but it was usually single hits, here and there. This was the first time he had ever beat me up.
"You're going leave me, aren't you?" James finally broke the silence.
"Yes." I replied, as James sprang to his feet, pacing back and forth in front of the couch, where I lay motionless. My body trembled in fear, in apprehension of more blows.
"If you loved me, if you ever loved me, you would help me, Isabella." He continued pacing, his eyes wild.
"I will get help, if you stay. I promise you that I will make an appointment, first thing in the morning and I will get help." He pleaded.
"Isabella, please, I am at your mercy." He dropped to his knees.
"I am begging you and you know I don't beg anyone. I cannot lose you. It's not like this all the time. You know we have had some good times together, do you remember those good times, Isabella?" His eyes met mine, pleadingly, before he laid his head on my chest and sobbed.
"Do you remember when you and I first starting dating, and I took you to that carnival? That was so much fun."
I had to agree with him. That night was fun. James and I were like carefree teenagers, riding rides and playing games. James told me that night, that he thought he was falling in love with me. He made me feel so loved and so happy. That was also the night that he and I first made love.
"Tell me you remember, Isabella, please say it." He started to whimper.
I took a deep breath and tried to find any amount of mercy that I could.
"I remember, James." Tears made their way down my blood stained face. "I remember everything about that night."
James popped his head up and smiled, "That was the first time you and I ever made love."
I nodded. But my whole body ached in pain.
"I love you so much, Isabella," he paused, "Bella." He hasn't called me Bella in a long climbed upon the couch with me, every time he moved my body, I cried out in pain.
"Shhh.." He cooed, kissing my forehead.
"I'm going to help you remember that perfect night." He breathed, moving his hand under my blouse.
"What? No, James! I am in pain. Please don't do this. I need to go to the hospital." I begged, trying to fight and push his hands away.
"Not yet. You need to be reminded of my love." He continued rubbing my breast.
I could not fight him off, the pain was too much. I stayed as still as possible and tried to reason with James.
"The pain is too much, James." I begged.
"I will make the pain go away." He now had my bleeding body stripped down naked.
"James, I am begging you, please. Don't do this, if you love me, you'll stop." I put my hand on his cheek, in hopes that he would take that as a move of understanding.
"I am doing this because I love you." He said, licking the blood from my face and my neck, where my bleeding hand had touched.
"James, I'll stay. I promise. I'll help you get help. I'll stand by you. Anything, just please stop." I cried.
"Isabella, please. Allow me to make you feel better." He crawled down my body, spreading my legs open.
I laid there in silence, crying while my husband once again raped me. Over and over and over. James didn't stop. After hours upon hours of pure un-pleasurable pain and utter hell, he finally stopped.
"Get up." He demanded.
I slowly sat up, but that was as far as I got. I couldn't move, my body felt as if it was on fire. I willed myself to stand, wobbling. James helped me stand, scooping me into his arms. I don't know why, but I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and buried my face in his neck; sobbing.
"I know, Angel. It's going to be okay, we're going to be okay." He promised.
Nothing is ever going to be okay. There was nothing okay about this man, this marriage, or myself, for allowing this abuse to go on for so long.
James gave me a bath, called his sister to come by and stitch my wounds. Victoria was a nurse and James convinced me that I didn't need to go to hospital.
Over the next two weeks, I laid in bed, while my body healed. I only left my bed to use the bathroom or shower. I prayed to God that I would die. I hopelessly pleaded to God throughout the nights, to please, just let me go, painlessly and in my sleep. I lost my will to live, but I didn't have the guts to take my own life.
Every night, over those two weeks, James promised me that we would make a baby. Night after night, he raped me. I didn't try to fight him, I lay there, comatose, and allowed him to do as he pleased. Night after night, I had to endure his sticky, clammy body against mine. He didn't care that I was in pain, he would beg for mercy when talking about leaving, but yet he showed me no mercy.
I prayed not only to die, but if there was a God in heaven, please don't let me get pregnant. James didn't allow me to take birth-control. Although I had stressed to him many times before that I wasn't ready to be a mother, that we weren't ready to be parents, he ignored me.
James talked a big game every night that he joined me in bed. He made promises of changing and promises of a bright, happy future to me. I laid there in silence, just nodding and smiling, all apart of an act.
James wasn't going to change; he knew that as well as I did.
~!~
"Good morning." James said, serving me breakfast in bed.
I just stared at him, pushing my tray away.
"You need to eat, Isabella. Today is your first day back to work." He demanded, pushing the tray back towards me.
"No thank you. I'm not hungry." I said, sitting the tray on his side of the bed, standing to my feet.
"Isabella, you could be having our child and you have done nothing for the past two weeks, but lie in this bed. I haven't seen you eat anything." His voice was filled with anger, not concern.
"I have been eating." I assured him.
"Fine! I don't want to argue with you." He threw his hands in the air.
I walked past James and into the bathroom. I shut the door and locked it, before stripping down and climbing into the hot shower.
The hot water felt so good. I closed my eyes and allowed the steam to relax me. Thoughts of James touching me played in my head, making me sick to my stomach.
Little did James Smith know, today would be my last day here; I was going to take my chances in leaving him. Whether I live or die, I was leaving. I will not step foot back into this house, the place that was once my home.
My plan was to act as if I was going to work, but I would be checking on that apartment beside of Angela. I'll stay with her until I was allowed to move in. After checking on the apartment, I would be going to the police, it may not help, but at least I can say I tried.
"Your body is so sexy covered in water." James said.
I jumped and turned around to see James standing behind me.
"How did you get in here?" I asked breathlessly, as I tried to cover my body with my arms.
"The key" He grinned, shaking the key that was clasped between his fingers.
"Isabella, don't hide that beautiful body from me." James cooed, moving my arms to my side.
"James, we can't do this. We're going to be late for work." I offered as my defense.
"We're our own bosses, Isabella." He whispered, pulling me to him.
At first I tried to push him away, but I had seen that all too familiar look of rage in his eyes.
Come on Bella, you can do this, just one more day. Don't make him angry, don't provoke him. Give him what he wants before you end up back in bed for another two weeks. Get this over with and get the hell out of here; live or die.
"You will be home this evening?" James asked, as he stepped back.
"Of course I will." I smiled, pulling his body to mine and kissing him hard.
His groaning noises made me want to stab my own ears. I hated that sound. He was trying to be sexy, but doing a poor job at
James lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his body. He slowly, started kissing down my neck and chest. Taking my nipple into his mouth, he started sucking, gently.
"I love you so much, Isabella." He sighed, wrapping his arms tighter around my body.
"I cannot live without you." He continued kissing and sucking on my neck. "I know I do crazy things, but it's only because I love you so much, you know that, right?"
I nodded and smiled before kissing him back. Anything to shut him up. I hated it when he proclaimed his love for me.
"Do you want me baby?" He asked, slamming himself into me. I could feel his hardness against me.
"I do." I lied and closed my eyes, internally sighing, as I bit down hard on my lip to hold back the tears.
~!~
"Good Morning, ma'am." The newspaper vender handed me the paper.
"Good Morning." I smiled kindly in return.
"It's a beautiful September morning." I said, deeply inhaling the city air.
I guess I was chipper because I knew today I would be leaving James. I'd say I was a little nervous, but I wasn't, I was terrified. I just about knew that the police wasn't going to be much help. James' best friend was well known and well liked.
I had a million thoughts going through my head. A million more 'what ifs'.
All I was sure of, was that I was leaving him, if it costs me my life, so be it. If today would be my only day free of his hell, then that's one day, I'll smile.
I walked to office this morning, usually I drove or took a cab, but the day was so beautiful, I figured I could use the walk.
As I walked into Tower One's lobby, I saw Angela. I ran to her hugging her firmly.
"Well good morning to you too." She laughed.
"It's good to have you back boss."
"Thanks." I chuckled.
"Is there a reason for this good mood?" Ang asked.
"Today is the day..." I had just got the sentence out and the whole building suddenly started to shake.
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