Star Trek: The Outsourced Generation

Author's Note

This one-shot was inspired by a headline I saw the other day: Outsourced Airline Maintenance

Be afraid.


Dear Wesley,

It feels like only yesterday you were here on Enterprise, laughing… playing… programming deadly nanites that nearly destroyed the ship (no, I'm not letting you forget that one). Happy days.

By now you have probably heard the terrible news about Captain Picard. I have been monitoring Jean-Luc closely, but to be frank, his condition is more serious than Starfleet has admitted in public. I fear he may have to go on permanent leave. Please do send a get-well card to our captain; I know he will appreciate hearing from you.

I've linked to a news article about the incident.

Hugs and kisses,

Mom


Starfleet News Roundup

Picard Remains in Critical Condition

Replicator Link?

Stardate 48252.5

SAN FRANCISCO – Jean-Luc Picard, Captain of USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) was seriously injured yesterday, and remains in critical condition on board his ship. Sources say Picard may soon be transferred to a Starfleet Medical facility on Earth specializing in burn cases.

"It felt like a bomb," said Commander William Riker, First Officer of Enterprise. "The force of the explosion actually warped the doors to the Ready Room. We had to cut our way through to get the captain out. If it weren't for the emergency force fields, the Ready Room would have been in vacuum."

A preliminary investigation has ruled out sabotage, as was first reported. The focus of the investigation has now centered on the replicator in the captain's ready room as the source of the explosion.

"I'm sure it had something to do with the captain's replicator," said Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge, Chief Engineer of Enterprise. "It really angers me we are not allowed to touch replicators anymore. If there was something wrong with it, any one of my engineers could have fixed it in five minutes flat. Now we have to wait on a service call from Quark Tech."

Six months ago, Enterprise was selected as one of ten ships to trial an outsourcing service agreement with Quark Tech, currently limited to ship replicators. The decision remains controversial among the rank and file, most of whom preferred to not be quoted directly. There have been rumors of other injuries, but Starfleet Headquarters is pleased with the results of the outsourcing agreement.

"We're saving a lot of resources with this contract. It frees up our crew to do what they do best – exploring the final frontier," said Admiral Hendricks of Starfleet Command.

Per contract terms, examination of the replicator will be conducted by representatives of Quark Tech.


In Other News….

Starfleet Command Awards Expanded Service Contract to Quark Tech

New service contract to include safety systems, such as inertial dampers and emergency force fields.

Click this-link for more details….


TECHNICAL SERVICE BULLETIN

Action Number: EA11005

Summary:

Starfleet Defects Investigation has received 339 complaints alleging temperature control issues in certain model ship replicators. Users may experience wide variation in temperature when ordering food or drink with indefinite terms such as "warm" or "cold." In extreme cases, a replicator may deliver food or drink at ultra-high temperature resulting in an explosive release of super-heated plasma. Quark Tech advised that a temporary loss of temperature control may be due to counterfeit parts manufactured on Cardassia Prime. Quark Tech admits no wrongdoing on their part.

Workaround:

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES order any food or drink "hot."