HELLO GUYS!

This is penguin with another DN fangirl crackfic becuz the show is in desperate need of some humour and, well, crack I guess. Plus I need a break from my multichapter fic, and this was a great way to take it!

This was an idea given to me by yue14121990 thanks a bunch! It was a great idea and I know I've been delaying posting it. SORRY!

As usual this fic should not under any circumstances, be taken seriously. It's just for funnies. You don't have to read the other two fics, but if you wanna have a laugh go right ahead.

So, without further ado, here is another instalment of 'When fangirls attack'

Enjoy :)

Our favourite Kira Task Force (hell, the only Kira Task Force) was taking a much needed break after listening to L excessively express how much Kira needed to be brought to justice and how he was the greatest detective in the world blah, blah, blah.

Matsuda (everyone's favourite sexy beast) was practically sprawled across the sofa in exhaustion. God, if he had to listen to one more of L's boring speeches he was going to lose it. His hair was dishevelled and he was on the brink of sleeping, but he was determined to stay up long enough for L to finally offer cake.

Mmm, cake.

Really, was there any other reason why he had stayed in the Task Force apart from the cake they always had? And it just wasn't any cake. Oh no. L was rich, therefore the cake was nothing less of amazing. It was like sex in your mouth.

Cake

By now Matsuda's mouth was watering at the thought, of course he did this maintaining his sexy look. Touta Matsuda was never anything short of sexy. Ever.

Oh yeah Light fangirls, he was the sexiest thing on this planet and he knew it.

Light was in the corner watching Matsuda in what seemed to be composed disgust. He was sitting up in his usual suit and tie – he often wondered why he even bothered dressing nice when the world's best detective wore the typical, casual Simon Cowell attire, being the white shirt and jeans – without a hair out of place.

Where Matsuda was 'adorable' sexy, Light was 'posh' sexy. You know: honour student, always neat and quite the looker too.

But, as all Matsuda fangirls know, he was nothing compared to the self-proclaimed God of Sexy. Nothing.

Not even close.

Unfortunately, Light himself was too vain to realise this, thinking he was the sexiest thing on two legs that has ever graced the planet. Not to mention a god. He'd even kill people who thought otherwise because, to jim, anyone thinking anyone else was sexier than him was a horrendous crime.

Hell, even right then he was thinking that exact thing. I am Light Yagami and I am the sexiest thing on two legs that has ever graced the planet. Not to mention a god. I'd even kill people who think otherwise because, to me, anyone thinking anyone else is sexier than me is a horrendous crime.

What Light didn't know, however, was if he did kill all those Matsuda fangirls around it wouldn't help because in the end Matsuda would always be sexier than him. He was just too stuck up to realise this.

Anyway, on with our little tale. As we all know Matsuda had been getting fangirl mail fromm his fifteen year old stalker for about a month now. He never got used to it, the weird emails with love declarations and sometimes weird questions for the Task Force.

But thank the gods she hadn't sent anything that day. It gave him a chance to breathe and whatnot.

"Does anybody want cake?" he heard Watari ask.

Matsuda shot up so quickly that he almost stumbled (sexily, of course). "I want cake! Me! I do!" He stopped when he realised that Mr. Yagami (the non-sexy dad of 'posh' sexy Light Yagami) was giving him a 'dafuq' look at his childlike action. "I…mean I wouldn't mind having a slice," he said in a more composed voice.

Watari smiled his old man (and definitely not sexy) smile as he cut a slice for him. Matsuda took it gratefully.

"Ne, Matsui-san?"

Matsuda looked up at L at the mention of his fake name. "Yes, L?"

"I haven't heard of your fangirl-"

"Stalker," Ryuk coughed, and Light held back a chuckle.

"-for a while. Have you gotten rid of her?"

Matsuda sighed. I wish. "No, not yet. She's quite obsessive."

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he has a fangirl," Aizawa said in irritation.

"Jealous?" Matsuda asked, earning a glare from him.

Before Aizawa could go on a rant, Matsuda's phone began to vibrate. He took it out of his pocket, expecting it to be a text from HQ or something, but instead had to groan at the fact that it was an email.

"What is it?" Mr. Yagami asked.

"An email from a certain girl," he replied in what was sort of defeat. "She's a little late in sending today, though. I was hoping I wouldn't have to worry about her."

While he was saying this, Light snagged the phone from his grasp and opened his emails.

"Hey, give that back!" Matsuada yelled, but Light rolled his eyes and gave it L, who was very curious to know what was on it this time.

The entire Task Force huddled around him to get a glimpse of the email and Matsuda flushed red in embarrassment (sexily) and followed.

HEEEEEEYYYYYYY MATSU-CHAAAAAAN!

ZOMG, I am like soooo sorry for sending this in late. I had an exam at school that I absolutely had to study last minute for, but I'm typing in the school computer room during break like right now.

Just want to say the usual. You're like super special awesome! I love you the most out of the Task Force, but you already know this.

Anywhoozer, my love for you and your sexiness aside, I have an uber important question to ask. It's like, more important than my last one. Like, ALL FANGIRLS MUST KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS!

Is L yaoi for Light? And, like, vice versa?

Like, you can obviously see the sexual tension whenever they're in the same room.

Light and L sweatdropped simultaneously at this. Sexual tension?

Okay, well it's a short email, but I'm seriously pressed for time. I need to go now, don't worry I'll send you an extra-long email tomorrow! PROMISE!

Don't forget, sexy hair! That's you!

Don't you dare let Light or L say they're more attractive than you because I swear to God I will find them and I will castrate them with a rusty knife and send their man parts to the darkest pits of Hell…

BYE BYEZ XD

A long and awkward silence ensued in the room.

A very long and extremely awkward silence.

Like, Light-wanting-to-use-the-bathroom-when-he-was-handcuffed-to-L-but-didn't-want-the-pervert-to-come-in-with-him awkward.

Eventually, Mr. Yagami finally broke the silence with an even more awkward question. "What's yaoi?"

Light, not wanting to explain, looked at L who in turn looked at Aizawa who looked at Matsuda who couldn't look at anyone else since one officer had conveniently left the room and Watari was in the kitchen, stocktaking the desserts no doubt.

With a heavy sigh, he looked at his shoes and avoided eye contact with his chief. "She's asking if Light is gay for L and vice versa."

"You'd think he'd figure it out when she said 'sexual tension'," Ryuk chuckled, but Light wasn't in the mood for laughing right now.

"Well, my fangirl needs an answer…" Matsuda said, knowing he'd regret saying it. But he had to admit that he was more than a little curious to know the truth.

L and Light said nothing, neither saying that they were, in fact, gay for each other.

Then again, neither was denying it either and that's what Mr. Yagami was afraid of.

Of course, there was another silence and Matsuda gazed between the two men while thinking of what his fangirl had said before. Perhaps this is sexual tension…?

Finally, after a few minutes Light began laughing a little too much. "Your fangirl really is a piece of work, isn't she?"

Matsuda scratched the back of his head. "Yeah…I guess you could say that."

"Like I'd ever be gay?" he asked in amusement. "That's just freaking ridiculous."

Mr. Yagami heaved a sigh of relief and excused himself to go to the bathroom. Aizawa was just pissed since…well he never really showed any other emotion and L smiled.

"We should continue now," the detective said. "I think that was more than enough of a break."

"Yeah," Light said. He sat back down on the place on his sofa trying to look sexy and glad that the topic had been pushed aside.

Thank God nobody found out, he thought, looking at L.

L looked across at Light. I am thankful that Light-kun has been able to keep our secret…then something came across his mind and he looked at the kitchen. "Ne, Watari-san?"

"Yes, L?" Watari asked.

"Did you buy the whipped cream?"

"Yes sir," he replied. "And the strawberries you requested are in the fridge."

Matsuda looked at L. What would he need whipped cream for? he asked himself, and then caught L giving Light a meaningful look.

Matsuda very nearly gasped at this silent exchange. Light…well at least I know exactly what I'm going to tell my fangirl.

AND DONE!

Yeah, I'm not a huge LightxL shipper, but well I couldn't resist doing this!

So yeah, that's it for this crackfic. If you haven't realised yet, I am a HUGE Matsuda fangirl and I really don't like Light much…

If there are any other suggestions for scenarios that you want to put the Task Force in, don't hesitate to ask. Remember, the fangirl has to at least be the trigger for the scenario. It's kind of what the whole thing is about.

Penguin is out. Peace!