Read the AN at the bottom before reading. Thanks!
Shotabended
"Somebody get this CRAP off of me!" Len screams, tugging at his suddenly lengthy golden ponytail and short skirt. O-Or should I say… h-her?
"What the heck happened?" Lui scrabbles on his whiteboard, the terrified look on his face reading the same words. Her… the same look on her face…
"Oliver, what were you thinking?" Piko demands, his eyebrows narrowing, "What could have possibly made you think this was a good idea?" Her eyebrows…
"I dunno! It's not my fault that you're all girls!" I scream, pointing at the disarray of skirts, glitter, makeup, high-heels, long hair, eyelashes, and bows in screaming in front of me.
"You're all?" Len… no, Lenka, shrieks. I'm calling him Lenka now until this is all over. It WILL be over, right? "I think you meant to say we're all!" he… no, she, goes on, pointing at me. Sure enough, I'm wearing my baggy sailor's outfit, except the black shorts I used to wear is now replaced by a-a skirt!
"Aww, gross!" I gasp, flinging my hands as if I just accidentally put them in something wet, "What the heck?"
"That's what I wanna know!" Lui, er, Louise, pens on her whiteboard, her amber eyes blazing.
"What I wanna know is why the length of your shorts hasn't changed since we're all girls now!" Lenka sneers, pointing a yellow-polished fingernail straight at Louise's face. Louise turns beet-red with an inaudible gasp.
"Will you ALL SHUT UP?!" Piko, er, Pika, screams over everyone else. Everyone drops their hands and turns to look at her. "Look, obviously, I'm stuck in this itchy white sweater, Oliver, you're in a skirt, Lui, you haven't changed at all, except your hair is shoulder-length, even though that doesn't matter, Len, you look like your sister, who, frankly, is pretty hot-"
"Did you just indirectly call me hot?" Lenka shrills, pulling her skirt down as her face glows beet red.
"No," Pika shrugs, ignoring it like nothing even happened, "Now, Oliver, do you mind explaining how we got to be like girls?"
"Well… to be honest, I'm not exactly sure…" I sigh, my shoulders sinking, "B-But… I do know that it probably had to do with that over there," I motion to the table with computers, chemicals, wires, and all sorts of gadgets on it.
"The genderbender?" Lui scribbles on her whiteboard. Lenka's eyes widen.
"I knew it! It must still be working!" she screams, her now much-higher voice sounding almost as if she's singing. "Oliver! I remember once in fifth grade you came over and we turned my cousin's girlfriend Teto into a dude and she wasn't hot anymore!"
"That sounds so weird coming out of a girl's mouth, Lenka…" I sigh, shaking my head.
"Len…ka?" she asks, her now thinner eyebrows furrowing.
"Yeah, if we're gonna be girls now, we might as well have girl names, right?" I reason with a shrug. "Lui, you can be Louise, Piko, you can be Pika, and Len, you can be Lenka!"
"What about you, Oliver? Ollie? Ellie?" Lui writes on her whiteboard.
"Olivia!" Pika interjects, suddenly looking less angry. With a raise of my eyebrows, I give a nod. Lenka flips her now ridiculously long blonde hair.
"I just wanna be a guy again!" she whines.
"Come on! We never get to hang out with girls, this is our chance!" Pika smirks.
"Yeah, you're right!" Lenka grins, her eyes widening sneakily, "This is the perfect time to hang out with the lay-days!" Suddenly, the spark in her eyes burns out. "Wait… It's not like any girls are gonna ask us out when we're girls too!"
"Unless-"
"Don't interrupt me! We have to become guys again!" Lenka says.
"But-"
"I said don't int-"
"IT'S NOT LIKE THEY WERE EVER GONNA ASK US OUT WHEN WE WERE IN GUY FORM ANYWAY!" Pika screeches, stabbing a finger at Lenka. I let out another sigh. We're stuck like this and they're arguing about getting girls? Why couldn't it have been a make-me-a-UTAU-machine? I heard Utau Avenue has a pretty good mail delivery service… honestly, nothing could be worse than this…
The sounds of our arguing are suddenly silenced by muffled footsteps coming down the steps. We all spin around to see Len's twin sister popping out from behind the wall. Lenka gasps and pulls her skirt down. Lui's eyes widen. I just look over to see what pretty much looks like a fire truck wearing an itchy white sweater and a silver ahoge.
"You okay, Piko?" Rin asks, reaching the bottom step. She stops mid-stride as she realizes the setting she just walked into. "Wait… WHY ARE YOU ALL CROSSDRESSING?" she screams.
"The genderbender machine did it!" Pika, Lenka, and I all scream at once, shooting fingers at it.
"It was all Bruno's fault!" Louise's whiteboard reads. The most awkward silence possible hovers over us like a storm cloud.
"Dad left it on? Doesn't he know that's dangerous?" she asks Lenka, her turquoise eyes widening. "And how come you haven't changed at all, Lui?" she asks, her gaze now directed to Louise's equally short shorts.
"Here we go again…" I facepalm.
Haha, not sure what I was thinking. I was just on Tumblr, and I decided I wanted to take a little one-shot break from SS16, so here it is.
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present, the failures of humanity.
