Blaine stared at the front door disbelievingly. The harsh slam broke him out of his jumbled thoughts and allowed sudden dread to quickly set in. 'What have I done?' he thought desperately, as his legs moved as quick as they could to the door of the apartment.
Yanking the door open with a ferocity that could have taken it off its hinges, Blaine ran fast to the elevator. He pushed the down button multiple times in quick cession, panic setting in. 'Oh my god. Come on, come on, come on!' Looking at the floor display screen on the top of the elevator not going faster with his pleading, Blaine cursed loudly, "Fuck!" and without another glance made haste to the stairs.
"Please still be here, please still be here, please, please, please!" he repeated over and over breathlessly, as he rushed down four flights of stairs at record speed. He had never hated living on the fourth floor of the New York City apartment complex as much as he did at this crucial moment.
As soon as he made it to the lobby, he turned frantically canvassing the area for Kur. Seeing Mark the Security Guy sitting at the head table, Blaine rushed over to him. "Mark! Please tell me you didn't see k leave, please!" he knew he sounded pathetic and crazed, but it didn't matter right now.
Mark looked at him sympathetically, "I wished I could, man, but you just missed him. He looked upset. Did you guys have a fight?"
Blaine just nodded meekly.
Mark took a deep breath. "Give him some time, I'm sure he's just needs to cool down. He'll be back in no time!" he told Blaine trying to cheer him up.
Instead of feeling better, Blaine closed his eyes and replied sadly, "I, I don't think he will this time." And with that, he turned around and walked back up the stairs and to their apartment.
As soon as he got inside and shut the door, Blaine went into their bedroom, flopped onto their bed, cuddled Kurt's pillow close to his chest and started to cry. "How could I have been so stupid?" he sobbed out loud. "Every time I try not to mess this up, I always do! What the hell is wrong with me?" Blaine could feel his heart breaking with every second that passed that Kurt wasn't around. Tears were cascading down his face, ceaselessly. He furiously wiped his eyes to make them stop, but found it hopeless. He was in pain, and even though it has only been a total of five minutes since Kurt left, Blaine missed him. Blaine was also confused at how bad the seemingly harmless disagreement between the two of them escalated so badly.
It wasn't like they never fought. Please, they were both very hardheaded in their beliefs and would defend their positions to death if they had to. It was just that, usually when they had a fight, the two of them would end up giving each other the cold shoulder or become extremely cordial to each other. This would happen until one of them (usually Blaine, sometimes Kurt), would end up bringing the other some tea.
Why tea, when they were obviously coffee people and have been since they were teenagers? Well, after their first fight, it was the only thing that was in their pantry when they were still living in their small, shoebox-sized apartment that they first owned together. Blaine stilled remembered scavenging the entire kitchen to find the nasty kettle his mother had given them as a housewarming present and then putting it on the stove, all the while praying that this would get Kurt to forgive him for his stupid side comment about Alexander McQueen.
In end though, when Kurt entered the kitchen and saw the cup of tea on their small dining table with Blaine already slowly sipping his, Kurt sat down and gave Blaine a small smile. They were able to get over their small quarrel, and had make-up sex, because they missed each other. It just became a routine for them after that to have tea when they wanted to apologize (and then make-up sex, always).
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like tea would fix this. There was so much said and done, Blaine didn't know if Kurt would ever come back, no matter how much he has been praying for him to since he fell apart in their lonely apartment.
The whole thing, if Blaine was honest with himself, started two months ago when Kurt and Blaine got a call from Rachel and Finn. They had called to tell them that Rachel was pregnant. The two of them had been trying, and now that they were expecting they wanted to share the news with them first. Both Kurt and Blaine were so excited for them and congratulated them enthusiastically.
After Rachel and Finn gave their life changing news, it seemed as though everyone followed suit. Everyone they knew were suddenly getting married, engaged, and having babies. With each phone call and invitation they got, and baby shower they went to, Blaine started seeing a slight look of longing and expectation in Kurt's eyes. Blaine knew he wanted to marry Kurt, he had already asked Burt and bought the perfect ring that he knew Kurt would love, but he was just scared. There were many times that the four words were threatening to spill out, but he was never able to utter them. He didn't know why he was so scared, but he was. That was why he would find someway to deflect or distract Kurt, so he wouldn't ask why they weren't married yet even though they have lived together since Blaine graduated high school.
It worked so well, at least, up until today.
Blaine was flipping through the channels when Kurt banging into the apartment. Seeing the slightly annoyed look on his face, Blaine turned off the television, got up from the couch, and asked, "are you okay?"
Kurt glared at him, "I don't want to talk about it." he said hotly, as he side-stepped Blaine so he could go into their bedroom to change.
Blaine looked lost as to what to do. Whenever Kurt gets in any of his moods, he would give Kurt some space to cool down. However, something was telling him that this was not like any of the other times.
He winced slightly when he heard Kurt jam open the door so hard that it rattled on its hinges. "Kurt, I know you're upset. But what happened to make you so mad?" Blaine asked as soon as he saw Kurt emerge into the living area.
"Nothing, absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing has happened, just like it hasn't for the past few years." Kurt replied in a sarcastically happy tone.
As Kurt was making his way to the kitchen, Blaine put out his hands to grasp onto his wrist. "Wait. Something is obviously bothering you. Please tell me so I can help you." Blaine said pleadingly.
K laughed harshly. "Help me? You want to help me with my problem? You want to know what my problem is Blaine? I'll tell you what my problem is. My problem is you."
Blaine's mouth opened in shock. "Wh-what?" he asked quietly.
"Do I need to slow it down for you, Blaine? You. Are. My. Problem." Kurt spat out. Seeing that Blaine was still in shock, Kurt continued. "You are the reason I am so fucking mad. You. You. You."
Finally able to recover from the shock a bit, Blaine stuttered out, "But, but, what did I, what did I do? What did I do to make you so mad?" Blaine's heart was slowly breaking as he saw the look of pure hatred fill the beautiful blue eyes that he often saw filled with love when they looked at him.
Scoffing, Kurt replied sarcastically, "Weren't you listening? Of course you weren't. You did nothing! "
Blaine didn't seem to be following. "Nothing? Then why-" he started.
Kurt let out a crazed noise of utter annoyance. "Nothing, Blaine, nothing! You did nothing!" he yelled loudly, the noise echoing throughout their apartment. Seeing that Blaine was still confused, he decided to finally explain fully. He always was slow to understand things that he should already know. "Why haven't you asked me to marry you yet, Blaine?" he asked quietly, tears of anguish making his eyes wet.
Blaine's blood froze in his veins. "Kurt," he said, making his way to take Kurt into his arms. However, Kurt stepped back away from him and placed his hands on his hips. "Kurt," he tried again to say something.
With a shake of his head, Kurt looked directly into Blaine's eyes. "No, Blaine, no. We are talking about this." he stated defiantly. "You can't run away from this like you always run away from things that you can't deal with." He finished bitterly.
"What did you just say to me?" Blaine looked at him in complete astonishment, which quickly turned to anger. His blood was no longer cold, it was burning. How dare Kurt just say that to him. He knew how much that has bothered him. Blaine never thought that Kurt would ever bring it up, even in a fight.
"You heard me, Blaine, would you like me to repeat it? I know how long it takes for you to understand things." Kurt asked sarcastically.
"Are you seriously doing this? Are you seriously going to tear me down with things that happened in the past? Things I already apologized for time and time again? Hell, you don't get to judge me, not with all your egotism. Kurt always comes first right?" Blaine shouted out harshly.
"About me? Really? I don't know, Blaine, I haven't been the one that's been avoiding the fucking, pink elephant in the fucking room!" Kurt shouted back, getting up in Blaine's face.
"What do you want from me, Kurt? I've done and given so much for you. I have done everything I could to make you happy, yet you always have to make it so difficult. What is it with you? Huh?" Blaine asked hotly.
"Difficult? What is so difficult about wanting to get married? We've lived with each other for so fucking long! And you know what, maybe that's the thing. You not wanting to get married obviously means that you really don't care as much as I thought you do." Kurt retaliated cooly. He pause, and then said finally, "Maybe we aren't the perfect couple anymore. And we should just give up. If you cannot even love me enough to marry me, then I am better off without you."
Blaine physically recoiled. "What?" He asked surprised and pitifully.
"I am leaving, Blaine. Goodbye." And with that, Kurt left, shattering Blaine's heart to a million little pieces.
'I should have said something to stop him.' He thought as he sniffed Kurt's pillow- the vanilla and jasmine, Kurt- with the hopes that it would help calm him down. Blaine put his hand in his pocket and touched the discrete, velvet box that he's been carrying everyday in hopes that today would be the day he would get over his fear and propose.
Getting off the bed, Blaine wiped the excess tears from his eyes and heaved a sigh. He needed to get out of the apartment. Grabbing his keys and slipping his shoes on, Blaine walked out of the apartment and shut the door. After a moment's hesitation, Blaine left the top lock of the door undone, just in case Kurt does come back.
AN: Hi. This is my third story, and I am still trying to get the hang of this fic writing thing. I am so glad that you decided to read what I wrote and I hope you liked it. This isn't beta-ed, sorry, and I wrote most of this on my ipad. Please leave a review, even if you think this sucks. Any response will make me happy. Also, the next chapter may or may not contain smut. If it does, it will be my first time ever writing it. So that's basically it. Hope you enjoy this two shot! :]
