December

"Mistletoe? Come on, Stevie, don't you think that's a bit cliche?"

"That's where you're wrong, my massive friend! Champers, mistletoe, and rum and eggnog – the perfect combination for some Christmastime fun." Stevie was on a stepladder affixing the sprig of mistletoe above the front door.

Miranda rolled her eyes, but took the proffered cup of eggnog. There was more rum than nog in it, but it was pretty good. She made a point of staying far, far away from it, but Stevie was latched onto her arm like an albatross and was physically trying to push her towards the doorway all night.

"Stevie, you do realise that if you keep doing that, we'll both be under the mistletoe? And I love you to bits, but I am not snogging you!"

Stevie shot her a displeased look before flouncing off to get another glass of champagne.

As far as Christmas parties went, it was one of the better ones. Their friends were in good spirits, there was cheesy Christmas music on the stereo (Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas would never not be a classic!) and the food was endless. She caught up with her friends who were leaving to travel for the holiday, but there was one person she was keeping an eye out for.

Gary had an exam first thing Monday, so he had told her he'd be studying but would try and escape long enough for a drink. Every time she looked at the clock it seemed to have only moved a few minutes. By half past nine she was beginning to think he was doomed to remain prisoner to his textbooks and notes.

She put together a paper plate and loaded it with mini mince pies, gingerbread cookies, and shortbread before heading towards the front door. She had the intention of walking over to his building and surprising him with some sweets, but really she just wanted to see him.

She opened the front door and clutched the paper plate a bit tighter, because he stood there in the doorway, hand raised to knock.

He almost hit her in the face, and she jumped back with a laugh.

"I was just going to come rescue you!" she greeted him, and he grinned at her.

"Sorry I'm late; I had to just give up in the end."

"Ready for the exam?"

"Not even a little."

She hit him gently on the arm before Stevie ran over to them both.

"Happy Christmas!" Stevie sang out cheerfully, and threw her arms around Gary with a grin. Her Santa hat was askew, and it was clear from her flushed cheeks that she was the one who had finished off the first bottle of rum.

"And to you, Stevie," Gary said back with a laugh, leaning over slightly to hug her.

Miranda's eyes widened slightly in horror as she realised what had been above them the entire time. "Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!" she hissed, and Stevie looked at her from over Gary's shoulder. Miranda pointed upward towards the mistletoe and Stevie's eyes widened as well.

"Well, aren't you lucky?" she managed to say after a moment, as Gary released her. "Looks like this is your lucky day, because not everyone gets the chance to end up under the mistletoe avec moi."

Gary looked up and blushed. "Um, Stevie, I don't-"

But Stevie just grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back down to her, kissing him firmly but chastely on the mouth while Miranda stood there and silently fumed with jealousy. The kiss lasted not even an entire second but she was about ready to reach over and pry Stevie off of Gary when the tiny blonde let go of him and he stumbled backward slightly, laughing nervously.

Stevie grabbed Miranda's wrist and pulled her towards them. "And you were under it, too."

"I told you, you're not kissing me!" Miranda protested, but Stevie just grinned and skipped off, the jingle bell on her hat ringing noisily as she did. Miranda watched her go, confused, but then she turned back around and realised what had just happened.

And this is why you're my best friend, Stevie, Miranda thought as Gary grinned at her.

"It's a silly tradition, really," she began. "We don't have to."

"She'd never let us hear the end of it. Besides, it's no different from New Years, right?"

"Right. Just a quick kiss between mates."

"Yeah, exactly."

She took a step towards him and before she could lose her nerve, quickly leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Time seemed to slow, even though it was the most platonic of kisses. It lasted only half a second longer than Stevie's kiss had, but it felt like an eternity.

When she pulled away, she knew she was blushing and she bit her lip.

"Happy Christmas, Gary."

"Happy Christmas, Miranda."

March

Gary took the steps up to Miranda's floor two at a time, trying not to jostle the box of cupcakes tucked carefully under his arm as he did. She had an exam in the afternoon and he was hoping to see her before she left. It seemed a bit unfair that she had an exam on her birthday of all days, but that was how it had ended up and he knew she was worried.

The door to her apartment was open, as it often was, and he walked in without an invitation, as he often did, and found her and Stevie crowded around the kitchen table eating crisps… as they often did.

"Last-minute revising a no-go, then?" he asked, and they both looked up at him. Miranda's smile was one of his favourite sights, and today was no exception, even if he could see she was frazzled and stressed.

"What are you doing here, you nut? I thought you were at the library?"

Gary grinned sheepishly, his cover blown. "Yeah, that was a lie. I went into town to get you these."

He slid the box across the table towards her and she opened it curiously, peeking inside before her jaw dropped.

"No way! These were those cupcakes we saw weeks ago. How did you even remember?"

"Well, considering you wanted to smash the glass and break in on a Saturday night, I wasn't about to forget your reaction. Here's hoping they're actually that good," Gary said with a laugh. "They're not your birthday present – you get that tonight at the party – but I know you've been flipping out about your exam and I just thought…"

Miranda was already out of her chair and rushing over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" she chanted, and he laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

"Try not to eat them all before your exam, or you'll get a stomachache from the sugar."

She hugged him tighter, nodding against his shoulder.

"I can't believe you remembered."

"I'm your best friend. I always do."

June

"And you're sure you don't want me to bring you back anything? Or order in a pizza?" Stevie asked Miranda for what felt like the tenth time, and Miranda just whimpered and buried her head further under her pillow.

"Just go, have fun, I'm going to just stay here and wallow."

"You know, they say martinis help with wallowing…"

"Go! They're waiting for you!" Miranda lifted an arm to wave listlessly at Stevie as her best friend finally left her alone to her wallowing.

Miranda pulled the pillow from off of her face and threw it across the room towards the wall. She'd stopped crying hours ago, but the sick feeling of dread in her stomach hadn't settled yet. She had completely bombed her exam that morning, and if she failed it would ruin her grade for the term. Every time she thought of how her mind had simply blanked and sent her into a panic, she wanted to curl up into a very small ball and die.

Stevie had tried to cheer her up with little avail; her friends were all going out to the disco to work off some stress after finals, and she was supposed to be partying with them. But there was no way she could celebrate knowing that her academic future was potentially threatened.

She heard someone knocking on the front door of the flat, but she ignored it and pulled the duvet up over her head and closed her eyes. Maybe if she were quiet enough, they'd leave.

The sound of the door opening made her groan in dismay; she really didn't want to listen to Stevie try and convince her to leave the flat some more.

"Stevie, I told you, I'm fine!" she shouted.

"Whoa. What's with the yelling?" Gary asked, and Miranda's eyes flew open in surprise. "Hey, aren't you coming out with us?"

She slowly emerged from her duvet cocoon and tried to wipe the dried tearstains off her cheeks as she did.

"No, I'm staying in."

Gary walked over to her bed. "Budge over." She rolled away from him and he sat down next to her. "Okay, what's gotten into you?"

"I'm sick."

"You're a terrible liar."

"I think you'll find I'm actually an excellent liar. Ask me if I'm okay."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! See? Convincing face!" She smiled so wide her cheeks hurt, and Gary backed away slightly.

"That's terrifying." He reached out and brushed some hair that had stuck to her cheek when she was tunnelling in her pillows. "What's wrong?"

She sat up in bed, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I had my English exam this morning, and there's no way I passed. It was awful. My essay was complete gibberish and I'm going to have to call my mother and tell her why my grades this term are so awful."

Gary bumped his shoulder against hers, a habit he had. "Hey, you've aced everything else so far, it shouldn't put you too far behind. Are you just worried she'll be cross with you?" He wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her shoulders.

"Are you kidding? I think she'll be thrilled. She didn't even want me going to uni; as far as I know she thinks my time would be better spent trying to find a husband. I thought I was being bold and daring by going on to more school to try and show that there's more in my brain besides pop music and sweets."

"Yeah, you've made a bit of room for academics, haven't you?"

She whacked him with her pillow.

"Shut it."

"Now I know you're back to your old self when you get violent," Gary said, and she shook her head before realising something.

"Shouldn't you be out celebrating with everyone?"

Gary shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Besides, it's not as much fun without you. You should come out for a drink. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone why we're late."

She thought about it for a moment; was there really any point in staying in if all she was going to go was stress over what was over and done with, what she couldn't change?

As Gary started to get up from the bed, she made up her mind.

"Okay, maybe just one drink."

He turned back towards her and grinned. "Brilliant." He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll let you get changed and we'll walk over together."

Her forehead felt warm when he pulled away and got off the bed, closing the door to her bedroom behind him and leaving her to decide what to wear to the club.

October

Gary was nodding off over his history textbook when he heard someone at his door. He straightened up and rubbed his eyes, glancing at his watch. It was half past eight on a Saturday night. All of his friends were out and he was in studying. He wasn't jealous of them, well not that much. They drank too much and got too rowdy and he was just glad they were out of the flat and causing someone else problems instead of him.

He shuffled to the front door and opened it, and for a second he thought he was still asleep and dreaming because Miranda was standing there, wearing a dress and with her hair done up and looking… breathtaking. She looked gorgeous. Of course, he always thought she looked lovely…

But something was wrong. She wasn't smiling, although it looked like she was trying. Her eyes were ringed with black which he was assumed was makeup, and with panic he realised she'd been crying.

Without saying a word, he took her hand and pulled her into his flat, closing the door behind her before leading her over to the sofa. He pushed his textbooks off of it so they could squeeze onto the cleared space.

"I thought you were on a date?" he asked, and she gave him another attempt at a smile. "Oh no. Not a good one, then?"

"He broke up with me," she mumbled, looking down at her hands, fingers picking at the pink nail polish on her nails. "I mean, I suppose it's for the best – he's graduating a year ahead of us and he wants to travel, and long distance never works, so really it doesn't make sense for it to be anything so long-term, and I mean we left it amicably and I don't hate him or anything…"

I do, Gary thought angrily, as he watched his best friend struggling not to cry in front of him. He'd seen her outright cry more than once, but never over a guy, and he felt such an irrational anger at her ex-boyfriend.

"So, it's for the best," she repeated, and it sounded as though she was trying to convince herself by saying it over and over again until it felt true.

"He's an idiot."

The words slipped out before he could stop them, and Miranda looked up at him, her brown eyes shining with confusion and sadness.

"Gary! I know he dumped me, but he's not all bad…"

Gary cleared his throat slightly and tried to backpedal. "Look, all I mean is… you two dated for three months. He seemed to really fancy you. And… and I just think if he cared about you and appreciated you as much as he said he did, he would have found a way to make it work. Long-distance isn't so bad. We're only a year behind him; once you graduate you could have gone travelling with him."

He wasn't entirely sure why he was so invested in her having a relationship with someone who was, well, not him. But it seemed to be having some effect, only instead of being sad now she just looked angry.

"Why do I have such awful luck?" she moaned miserably, falling forward and burying her head against his shoulder. Surprised, Gary wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"You're not unlucky. You just haven't found… the one yet. You just have to find the one person who sees you for how smart, and funny, and beautiful you are."

Someone who sees you like I do, he thought, and kissed her hair again, holding her as she cried in his arms.

January

The countdown to midnight had just ended. Wobbling slightly in her heels and keeping one hand firmly atop the stetson on her head in case Nick stole it back, Miranda used her height to her advantage, scanning the celebrating party-goers for her best friend. She'd had too much champagne, and everything was slightly fuzzy and glowy. She spotted Gary across the room and grinned, quickly pushing through the crowd until she reached his side.

"Happy New Year!" she said excitedly, and his answering grin was one of the cutest things she'd ever seen. She clinked her champagne glass to his bottle of beer in a toast, and then moved in to kiss him in celebration. She was aiming for his cheek (best to play it safe) but she got him in the corner of the mouth – feeling the softness of his lips and the fine stubble on his cheek. (He was finally trying to leave the adorable baby face behind, though she and Stevie constantly mocked him for it.) Her eyes widened slightly in surprise, a giggle escaping as she wrapped her arm around his shoulders to steady herself.

When she pulled away, she raised her glass to him once more and then fled, her cheeks bright red. Even though it had only been a short kiss, not even full-on the lips, she'd felt something. Something that had always been there, but something that neither had the courage to acknowledge.

Maybe that was the first step towards making it real, she thought to herself, as she refilled her glass and went to go find Stevie.

April, Ten Years Later

The longer he stared at her, the closer they were drawn together, until she was setting down her hairbrush and actually leaning in toward him, her eyes drifting closed just as his did the same. He could feel her warm breath against his lips, could feel the soft skin of her cheek against his nose. She was so close he could actually taste the tea and sugar that would be on her lips, but as it always did, the moment was interrupted, and she immediately pulled away, cheeks pink.

It was probably for the best. He wasn't ready to run around in circles with her again like they had back in uni. Constantly on the brink of something happening, moment after moment where her hand lingered on his just a bit too long or he hugged her a bit closer than he would with any of his other friends. By the time they were walking across the stage and graduating, he'd gone out of his mind trying to find the words to tell her how much she meant to him.

But things always went pear-shaped. The one time he'd had the nerve to kiss her – actually kiss her, not just a peck on the cheek or the forehead – she hadn't remembered it. Since he got back to Surrey and ran into her again, he'd been trying to avoid creating any sort of moment for fear that he'd lose himself to the magnetic pull that existed between them — but as a rule he never acknowledged it. It was safer that way. It was safer being just her friend again.

After all, she had no idea how he still felt about her after all those years. He'd confessed it to her while she slept.

As he watched her pull her hairbrush through her hair again, she caught his eye and smiled, and after a second he smiled back at her.

Maybe it was safer this way, but it wasn't easy.