"Do you miss it?" Massachusetts' questioned. His green eyes studied the New Yorker's reaction. How her face contorted to a look of confusion, her eyes holding a deep puzzlement. And then, when it dawned on her. How that distant look came back to memories of the past. To when her state was great and everyone wanted to be part of her something. When if you couldn't make it there, you couldn't make it anywhere.
When California and Texas were just two other states that didn't matter to anybody, but their citizens.
Half of her wanted to lie. To say that she didn't miss it because she was still important. Her state was still the most influential. That even the stats proved she was number one in everything. But the other half, painfully realized it was time to admit that, no. She wasn't in her former glory. She was at the painful ranking of third overall.
New York closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. "Yeah," She admitted weakly. She was already going against every fiber of her being by admitting things like this to her rival. Why not continue? "I miss being romanticized. I miss people writing songs about me. I miss being able to make or break people. It used to be just New York City and The Hamptons. That was where it was at. Now The Hamptons is probably forgotten and The City's been tacked on with a comma." She gave a sharp laugh. He couldn't help but wince at the cruelty she was showing herself. "'Hollywood, New York City, and Dallas.' Big whoop being part of that. No one cares if you're not alone, paving the road for yourself. No one cares if there's other like you. They care if you're original. And I'm not. Not anymore."
She shook her head, trying not to let so many decades of tears come crashing down in front of him. The day New York let Massachusetts see her cry was when Hell froze over. "But why should I tell you any of this? It's not like you're blind to it. You know and so does everyone else."
There was a long pause of silence between them. The New Englander mentally digested this information. It shocked him to see the usually strong and stubborn female just give in like this. Not even lying to his face about what's happened to her. And he couldn't deny it to her face. He couldn't because why should he? Rivals can't admit that the other is great. And he couldn't say it and have her believe it after her admitting all this.
"Do you miss it? Do you miss the seventeen-hundreds and basking in your post-revolution glory?"
Massachusetts smirked. The smell of gunpowder exploding out of his tucked away musket filled his nose. His commanding orders and the yellowing parchment that declared their independence. That created the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. The tea splashing in the harbor. The smack across Arthur's cheek when he struck his father for all the shit he'd put him through all these years. And the drums of war and victory. Every other state hanging onto his every word. 'Except that damn Yankee.' Glory days with Virginia and Pennsylvania. The three of them being the hub of society for America's beginning.
"Of course I miss it, but I accept it. I accepted it long ago that it won't happen again. My time has come and gone and I've done enough for this country. I helped it get strong in the beginning. So did Penn and Virginia. Can't deny that." He laughed. "But there's no point in being bitter about it. Everyone still knows my name thanks to the Pats and the Sox. Boston still has it's influence and it's own sort of power. Unfortunately it's on a smaller scale, but we take what we get." He gave her a small smile. "Power isn't everything. Being number one doesn't matter at the end of the day. Your life'll be much better if you accept it."
Another cruel laugh escaped her lips. New York couldn't believe how idiotic he was being! Power isn't everything? No wonder he was only a wrinkle in time! He wasn't a competitor, he just went with the tide and it soon would drown him. Yes, he was just chum and she would eat him up like a shark in the grand scheme of things. "No wonder you don't matter, you don't fight. You just let things be and that makes you weak. Weaker than I ever imagined to be." Her words were harsh for that was the only way she knew how to be. "You won't amount to anything ever again. It's no surprise you care for sports so much, it's the only thing you get recognition for. Which is part to me because if it wasn't for your subpar teams competing with my great ones at such a high stake frankly, my dear, no one would give a damn."
"It's a shame you see things like that. I believed you were smarter than that, but I see I was wrong."
"No one will you remember you if you're not great. You need to leave an impact on this world." She appeared to ignore his words.
"That's not true. There are those that will care for you, remember you, and love you even if you aren't the greatest." Massachusetts smiled, brushing his hair out of his face.
"So that just leaves me Connecticut and Jersey. Whoop-de-fucking-doo." She rolled her brown eyes. She was already bored by him. What at first was an interesting conversation was now getting too "mushy" for her tastes. "I already knew they loved me. They're supposed me considering of our whole sibling-adopted sibling thing going on there."
"They're hardly the only ones that love or will remember you if you fall."
"Mass, fucking hardly counts for love. It's called both of us being repeatedly desperate and wasted and the other being right there." She rose from her seat, the chair's leather slowly rising back into place. She placed a hand on one of his broad shoulders. "Thanks for your 'wisdom' though."
He snatched onto her wrist before she could leave. His eyes silently pleaded with hers to stay and see things his way while hers argued a ferocious no. "You damn well know what I meant. But of course you're too stubborn to admit it to me and yourself. You can't accept anything that might make you a better person. So you keep yourself locked up in this bubble thinking that we'll always hate each other even when one of us is slightly willing to compromise and that California isn't important and you're fucking great. You're not. And you won't be ever again unless you tear down that wall, Elizabeth." He pleaded to her as as a person, not a state. That almost made her agree. The little 'Alexander' she croaked out made him think he'd got it for half a second.
That moment was blink-and-you-missed-it though. For she had forced herself free and was already halfway out the door. Halfway to forgetting about this whole conversation. Halfway going back into her little paradise called Ignorance.
Halfway to returning the torture she refused to let anyone - including herself - save her from.
And there was nothing Alexander could or wanted to do about it anymore.
