It was the same, day after day. Unlike the other Subjects, his schedule never changed. He was observed constantly, his room less of a room than a cell, surrounded by four walls and even a ceiling that were one-sided windows, with at least a half-dozen staff members watching him like hawks at all times. He was rarely allowed into common areas, taken into observation rooms or the cafeteria only before being led back into his chamber. He ate alone, studied alone, and had little to no contact with any of the Subjects.
Really, it was fine. He was a little afraid of them, after what had happened the last few times he'd made contact with a group.
Joshua, as he was referenced by the engraving on his collar that simply read "Project Joshua," was the most powerful of those in the Program. He was their pride, their great mystery, their secret project that was not secret. The other children here were in projects with at least a dozen others, each project judged by their ranking, their ESP levels. Some had full control of their powers and cherished them. Others had full control and feared them. Most of the children, however, couldn't fully keep their powers under control, and were glad to be here, under the care of the Staff.
The shock collars that tapped into their psyches were for their own benefit. Should their powers get out of hand, the collar cut it off at the source, with only minor pain as a negative side effect. At least, that was what most of the children thought. The others, the ones that didn't want to be here, knew better than that. They knew the Staff used the collars to keep them from escaping, for the same reason the walls were insulated with lead and iron, and for the same reason that the most powerful and least cooperative were not allowed to go outside.
Joshua hadn't been outside since he was seven years old. He'd wiped his memories intentionally to keep information safe, and no longer remembered why he was here, who had taken him, how his powers had manifested...what he was. All he knew was his name and his fear and his anger, and all of them were quieted by the heavy guard and the shock collars. His loneliness knew no bounds.
The boy, now eighteen, had full control over his powers, with very few slip-ups. Those slip-ups were all caused by the staff that tried to pull his power from him, an agonizingly painful progress that kept him conscious and in utter anguish for hours as the procedure continued. He was forced to endure it all, and after they were done, he'd learn they'd made no progress, and that he'd be forced to do it again, and again, until they'd learned the secrets of his powers and taken control completely. Joshua didn't know the reasoning for this. He guessed that his powers, if harvested and given to others, would be useful to humanity as a whole. Perhaps the staff would use him to breed a generation of super-soldiers, since the world outside was such a terrible place.
Joshua wasn't sure if this was even true. He hadn't drifted far from his chamber very often, and it was rare that he was allowed to explore the facility on his own...especially lately.
One of the procedures they'd performed on him had ended in disaster. He remembered little of it, having blocked it out as a defensive mechanism. Just the memory invoked such rage and pain and fear that his collar reacted and shocked him horribly, but sometimes he still saw it in his nightmares. He remembered the staff trying to pull out his powers. He remembered losing control because of their tampering.
He remembered killing several of them, two women and four men and a child, all of them gone in an instant with hardly more than the first echo of a terrified scream. Gone. Erased. Never to be seen again.
And there had been consequences, a painful punishment that lasted for nearly a full day even though, through the blinding pain and his own inability to scream or cry anymore, Joshua swore it was their own fault their workers and their families had been lost. He'd been confined to his chamber and restricted from contact with anyone else for a full week, fed enough to keep him satisfied and simply watched for any further sign of a breakthrough. He'd remained very still and silent, stubborn. Cold. Over time, he learned that their experimenting would be torture and there'd be no escape, but he rarely screamed or cried anymore. He didn't want to give them the pleasure. And they didn't learn.
There had been other instances where he'd killed more of the staff, where his powers had broken from his control and erased - murdered - the people around him. The news of this was never leaked to the other Subjects if the staff could help it. Unfortunately, that was the trouble with a facility full of psychic children.
Sometimes, word got out.
The little contact he had with the other children, those lucky souls who thought they were here for their own safety, was most unsatisfactory. On a few terrible occasions, he'd been cornered by a few groups of teenagers that had heard of his mishaps, and they'd tried to draw the power from him with more primitive tactics. He couldn't fight them, not with his collar restricting him to an extent that it didn't restrict the others. They beat him to summon his power, hoping he'd erase more of the staff or destroy some of the boundaries of this accursed place, but to no avail. If his powers ever did flex, it was the children that suffered, his assailants suddenly ceasing to beat him as they ceased to exist.
Joshua was feared and hated and seen as nothing more than a vessel of great power. That was his image, to everyone from the newest and oldest Subjects to the most experienced staff. His loneliness consumed him, and he began to fear and hate everything. He wouldn't let people touch him, and he hated when people looked at him. It continued, as it had these past eleven years, as it had the past few months, as it would today, as he sat in a hallway on a bench and stared at his feet listlessly with dark violet eyes completely shadowed by the curtaining silver hair. Things would stay the same, and the world would keep turning.
As always.
There were always more.
That was something that The Program had established on its own. No matter how many children and adults were spent and destroyed by the experiments and attempts at harvesting power, there were always more. It had become a grand profession for some, to hunt down the gifted on the outside and turn them in like livestock- and for a profit.
A little boy with the ability to move things with his mind had been easy prey. And after the first of his evaluations, he had run from the room and into the hallways sobbing. This place was horrible, and he wanted to go home.
He didn't even noticed as he bumped into a tall boy with messy copper hair on his way through the main atrium, breezing past him before collapsing to his knees at the end of a bench, his face buried in his hands as he sobbed.
Joshua started at the sudden close proximity of the boy beside him. Violet eyes were wide, betraying only the mildest confusion as he stared at the child. Messy blond hair, a fairly small stature... Joshua guessed he was probably around nine or ten, but it was always hard to tell. Especially for him.
Slender fingers stretched out, hesitant, to lightly brush the child's hair, but as soon as the contact was made, Joshua jerked his hand back.
He didn't speak. He wanted to ask if the little boy was okay, ask him what happened, but his voice had been lost long ago, heard only in the form of pained cries and angry snarls. Instead, he slipped from the bench and knelt before the boy, trying to meet his eyes. That was the best way to communicate he knew of.
The child's reaction was harsh. He snapped his head up, almost afraid until he saw the gentle, almost concerned eyes that were on him. They were a strange color- violet almost. No words were spoken, but the boy wrinkled up his nose and let out a sob.
"This place is horrible. I want to go home." He sobbed.
Joshua had even less to say to that. He would have wanted to go home, too, if he'd known he had a home to go back to. He didn't. All he could remember was the faint smell of something pleasantly bitter and warm, and the taste of something creamy and sweet.
He reached out again, wanting to touch the child and bring him some semblance of comfort. His palm and fingers lingered an inch above the little boy's hair, close, but not touching him. He wasn't sure either of them wanting to make the contact any more intimate.
His eyes grieved for the child that was not dead.
It was nice. This boy was nice. Or was he an adult? He seemed almost uncertain. The boy's eyes swept from the sad expression on the older one's face to the thin arm extended towards him. He whined and wiped at his eyes.
"I hate it. I hate it here!"
And just about that time, the boy who had nearly been toppled over came around the corner and stopped. He frowned, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. There was the little snot that had run by. And then there was the boy kneeling on the ground near him. He was probably about Neku's own age, he guessed.
He just watched the blonde and the silver haired one, fighting the distinct sensation that there was something important that he was supposed to be doing; something that the voice in his head had wanted him to do- but like most things since before he'd woken up in this place- he couldn't remember.
The little boy looked up and his eyes suddenly locked on the other boy's collar: Project Joshua. The blonde froze and his crystalline eyes widened in terror.
Confusion swept through Joshua's eyes and mind again, and he withdrew his hand, trying to determine what it was that was suddenly shining in the child's eyes. He could speak no words of comfort and would ask no questions, even though he desired to know, badly.
He had the strangest idea that he often wore the same expression the little boy did, but he wasn't sure. He saw that look mingled with anger in the eyes of the teenagers who sometimes came after him, but in such a young boy, there was no anger.
Joshua tilted his head in a silent question, offering his hand to the child again in hopes that the little boy would let Joshua help him to his feet. He smiled faintly. It was an odd sensation, one he wasn't used to; it was a small, crooked sort of smirk, but a smile nonetheless. He thought the boy might need it from him.
And the little boy saw that he was indeed offering kindness; a gentleness that was far more than the Staff had so far. But this was Joshua. The Joshua that was whispered about. The one that could make you cease to exist with just a blink of his eye. The boy reached out and brushed his fingertips across Joshua's own extended ones before scrambling to his feet and bolting back down the hallway.
"I'm sorry...!" His voice echoed from the white halls as he disappeared into the living area.
Neku just watched this exchange, curious and still wondering at that nagging feeling that just wouldn't go away. He stared at the other boy, the one that had scared the timid little one so badly.
"Huh." He muttered.
Joshua's smile faded, but the boy's touch lingered, an echo of feeling against Joshua's hand that faded far too slowly. There was a pain, very familiar, in Joshua's chest as he examined his hand, as though the miserable little boy had left a visible mark behind after touching him. Joshua knew the agony of loneliness very well, but this time it was a little too real, having been caused by someone who had looked at him with hope, and then fear.
It had to have been fear in his eyes. Fear was what made them run or fight. Fear was what kept Joshua alone through all these years. He just didn't understand why. Joshua looked at the spot where the boy had been, watched the Noise that had sat so still and so quiet, until another sound made him stand up and cast his gaze towards the copper-haired boy that stood watching.
Neku's head ached. The longer he looked at this other boy, the more he struggled to get his thoughts back in order. Why was he here, and what was he doing? The red-head realized then that the other boy was looking at him. He grasped desperately for words.
"Haven't seen you before." He muttered. Why was his hair silver? He was so young... then again, there were even stranger things happening to people's bodies that he'd seen.
And then suddenly that voice in his head. "YES! That's him. That's it. Talk to him Neku. Find out what he's been up to." He rubbed his face suddenly. "That's who? What do you mean what has he been up to? We're all freakin' prisoners here."
The mental exchange left the inside of his skull echoing.
There seemed to be only one boy, no Noise around him, no ill intent. He was an attractive boy, tall and thin without lacking muscle, short copper hair and startlingly pretty blue eyes. His aura, however, was what caught Joshua's attention the fastest, shining brilliantly until even Joshua felt himself cast into a gorgeous light. He'd never seen anything like it, from anyone, and just being in this stranger's presence made him feel safe.
But Joshua didn't want to go through this again. He didn't want to let this teenager linger like the little boy had, his friend until he realized that it was the boy from Project Joshua, the boy no one should ever trust or be friends with or spend time with.
Joshua's frail-seeming fingers reached towards his throat and pulled at the collar, his other pale hand brushing silver locks away from the words that betrayed his identity.
He'd heard about him, sure. The child called "Yeshua" and "Joshua". But Neku wasn't like the others. He didn't talk to his fellow Subjects, and didn't try to garner favor from the Staff. He was just trying to lay low and stay out of the way. And Neku wasn't one to pick up on trends or group thinking. So he stared a little longer at the delicate looking boy who couldn't possibly house all of that terrifying power they whispered about.
"...Hey." He said, lifting a hand as though to wave. It wasn't a gesture that he was used to.
"What's your name?" He offered nervously.
No one here had ever asked him that. His name had been recorded, but it didn't matter anymore. He was Project Yeshua to the upper staff, Project Joshua to everyone else, and just "Joshua" to those who feared him enough to bolt at the first sign of him.
Silently, he rose a hand and waved very slowly. It was a tentative, nervous wave. There was no fear of this beautiful soul before him, but he feared the absence of it, and he feared the sensation in his chest that he knew meant he'd get attached if he lingered too long.
He lowered his hand and took a step back, still hesitant. If he left without giving this stranger his name, maybe he could pretend he'd never seen him or his aura. Maybe that sense of security would never have happened, and he wouldn't cry for it during his next experiments and procedures.
He had waved, but not responded. Neku crossed his arms and frowned just a bit, his gaze sheepish and questioning.
"You okay? Can you hear me? I'm... I'm Neku." He offered that at least.
"Do it. Take him out. It can work. This could end it-" And Neku mentally shoved against the forceful guiding voice. "No! He's just a kid. Just a fucking kid. No way this is the thing you keep pushing me towards. What do you want from me?"
Neku had to fight the feeling that almost made him woozy. He was starting to believe that the voice meant he really was crazy.
Neku. There was something wrong with this kid. That much was certain. Noise was gone the moment it was created, as though there was a protective aura around him along with his own. No Noise already lingering was daring to get near him. He was safe...wasn't he?
Neku. Who was protecting him? There was no way he was keeping clear of Noise on his own.
Joshua stepped back again, raising an eyebrow though his eyes were still scared and pained. He liked this boy. Neku knew he was Project Yeshua, but he didn't care. Why didn't he care?
"Neku...?"
His voice was hoarse from disuse. Over the past years, he'd used it for little more than crying out when the pain was too great to remain silent through. Words got him hurt more than anything; speaking resulted in snark, and if he couldn't use sarcasm, he wouldn't talk at all.
But Neku deserved it...maybe.
"Mm-hm. That's me." He responded slowly. Something from this kid's eyes told him that he wasn't stupid but... Why wasn't he talking? The sound of his name being repeated back to him was a bit surprising. Neku didn't get along with people, and they never stopped to pay attention to him. But this 'Joshua' was. He was staring at him like he was fascinating. Like he was special.
"Huh. Joshua then. Why are you out here, Josh? The other Subjects don't seem to like you too much."
A threat? No. Just a query. It was rare that Joshua was out on his own, but he knew there was surveillance staff watching him. He glanced at the wall the bench was sitting against, suspecting it to be yet another one-sided window. When his gaze turned to Neku again, he bowed his head modestly.
"...I know."
He was determined to speak as little as possible, for many reasons.
"Chill out. I'm not like them." Neku shrugged and crossed the space between them to drop down on the far end of the bench. He stared at the whitewashed wall across from them and sighed.
"They don't like me much either." He said wryly. And Neku wondered why he was talking to this kid, and why he was letting him close. Hell, he should have been afraid for his life.
"You look... Pretty down." The presence in his head pushed against him almost indignantly, and it made him shiver. This was his push back. Why did a terrified kid like this need to die? Neku refused for it to be him.
Joshua nodded, sitting beside Neku reluctantly.
This was bad. If he got close, if the staff saw them getting along and Joshua talking to him, they might be seen as friends. Neku might get hurt. Joshua didn't like the idea.
Neku was the only person in this entire damn place who showed him any kindness at all. He'd also get hurt for it.
Joshua didn't voice this concern. Not yet. He didn't want Neku to leave.
And sitting in silence was okay. Actually, Neku liked it a bit. People were cruel. He knew he hated them, even if he couldn't remember why. But Joshua was all alone and he didn't deserve it; not from what he could see.
"So...Uh..." Neku was at a loss. He wasn't good at conversation. But what else did he have to do?
All the red-head knew was that this kid had been the target of a lot of violence, that it was Joshua's project that had started this whole Program's push. And that he had to be part of the reason as to why he was here. Neku was going to get back his memories, and if he was pushed towards Joshua by his instincts then... Getting to know him would be worth it.
Joshua tugged at his collar, a force of habit by now. He glanced around for a clock, well aware that he would be worked with later...not a procedure, thank the heavens, but something of a consultation. He gripped the edge of the bench with his free hand and swallowed hard.
A consultation, no matter what the results, meant they'd experiment on him soon. The procedures were starting to get more and more frequent. He didn't know what else they would try to do to him, but at this point he was pretty sure his powers were for him and him alone.
"How long?"
"How long...?" He thought about it for a moment. Did he mean how long he'd been in this place or... "About year I think. Or more. I don't remember anything before it. Only my name." He responded slowly.
It was possible that he'd had something done to him that wiped his memories, possible that he'd never been anywhere but here. Sometimes Neku felt like that's what his social conditioning must be from.
"What about you, Josh?" He shortened it to a pet name if only to show that his intentions were friendly.
"...Josh?"
Violet eyes turned to Neku uneasily. A pet name. That was a bad sign...and a good one, at the same time. He found himself more than willing to answer, in detail. Most children didn't like to talk about these kinds of things for fear of bringing up bad memories, but it seemed to Joshua that these two had nothing to lose in that department.
"Since I was seven. I don't remember anything, either. Defense mechanism."
He didn't care what happened to him anymore. All he knew was that he had a damn good reason to stay alive. Something to protect. He didn't know what, but it was a good enough reason to do anything, let alone live. He'd endure his suffering for the sake of what he intended to protect.
Even if Neku was factored in somehow.
"So young..." Neku wondered if he even knew anything of the city outside of these walls. That much, he did remember. It was a bustling place of high speed trains and skyscrapers. What had once been Shibuya now stretched on forever in either direction, spurred on by economical development and the fall of another world super power. It had left Japan as top dog and that had made Shibuya's influence triple. He had hated it. But sometimes... Neku missed it.
His eyes turned onto the graceful looking boy next to him and he frowned.
"Yeah. Josh. Is that okay? I don't have anything else to call you and Joshua... feels too formal." He shrugged. "Like I said. I'm not like the others."
Joshua glanced behind him at the wall again, uncertainty taking hold of him. Did he dare, with them watching him with those tireless eyes? Neku had earned it, but...
Perhaps not yet.
"Josh is okay."
He continued to watch Neku from the corner of his eye. The copper-haired teenager definitely made him feel safe and insecure at the same time, and he felt an old blaze flickering inside. The urge to be human was strong, around him.
"Why?"
"Why?" Neku repeated. There was something about the other boy that was...well. Frustrating. And he could feel that ever present presence watching through his eyes.
"He... Doesn't remember?" Neku ignored it.
"Josh because I feel like it. And I'm not like them because... They're... I don't know. Noisy. I can't stand to be around them, and they're too busy being afraid of anything to even imagine something outside of these walls. I'm going to make it out of here. I've got something important to do, even if I don't remember what it is." Neku hadn't really spoken that much at once to anyone in a long time. The realization surprised him, and he cataloged it internally.
The red-head scrubbed a hand through his hair and frowned.
"And go where?"
Neku would definitely be someone to keep an eye on. If he got out, Joshua would go with him. The urge to simply ask, flat out, for Neku to take Joshua with him was strong, but the silver-haired teenager kept it under control.
Neku was very much like Joshua, it seemed. The latter kept watching him for any habits, anything he might be able to use later. Maybe this safety, the safety of Neku's aura, would carry him through the trials awaiting him.
"I... Don't know. But I think somebody's waiting for me on the outside. Or will be. Ugh. It's hard to explain. Like... I just know that someone's expecting me to do something. I'm here for a reason." He stated.
Neku twisted a lock of hair nervously, no longer watching Joshua's face but the wall. The thought kept replaying in his head: This poor creature is that Joshua? No way.
"Neku, wait. Wait. I think we can help you." It was the first time that the voice had ever said anything like that. "Oh yeah, great. Going to ask me to kill the kid again?" There was a lag in communication. "No. But we might have a plan."
The red-head didn't answer the voice this time, but was definitely annoyed at the lack of information he was getting- on both sides.
"What would you do if I said I had some sort of plan?" Neku's eyes were wide. Why had he said that? That wasn't what he was going to say. The 'voice' was going too far now.
"I'd want in."
Joshua smirked, an almost playful, mischievous expression dawning over his features. Neku didn't know what Joshua went through during procedures, and Joshua didn't know how much Neku knew about the instances where he'd lost control. He'd find out shortly, but he wanted Neku to get lost and grow unsure about where to take their conversation, to run out of questions, before Joshua began to ask any of his own.
"Well, duh." Was Neku response. "Tch. I don't think anybody else in this place has the freakin' sense to take such an opportunity. People are sick." He all but spat. His anger wasn't directed at Joshua though; far from it.
There was no way he was going to do this alone.
"Yes. That's it. Ally with him. Go on." Neku actually huffed audibly. "You want me to kill him or kiss him? Make up your damned mind, Voice."
And he was smirking a little when he turned to look at Joshua- also looking mischievous. That was interesting. Neku hadn't thought the kid had it in him.
"Great. I guess you're in on it."
"People are like sheep. Especially when they're scared."
Not much choice, now.
"In on...?"
"The... Plan." Stupid. Stupid. Voice. "I'm going to figure something out." He said, trying not to sound like he had absolutely no idea what he was doing.
"Tell him that you have friends on the outside."
"I've got friends on the outside!" He blurted. That was better. Of course now...
"Don't say anything else. They're listening."
Neku wondered why he was listening to this disembodied voice, but then reminded himself of one fact: It had never once steered him wrong. The red-head watched Joshua- something that was almost curious and hopeful in an almost...terrified sort of way.
At first, Joshua was irritated by Neku's vagueness. Defiant, even. The one time he'd ventured to ask a question, and Neku's response was to point out the obvious. Still, before Joshua could even consider a snide remark or lapse into a sullen silence, he took note of the raw confusion in Neku's eyes. There was someone talking to him. That much was very clear; the poor boy had no idea what he was doing.
Violet eyes flicked to Neku's ears. The copper locks of hair mostly shrouded them, but Joshua could see that he was clear of any audio devices that the staff may have been feeding him information from. With that bit of relief, however, came another wave of suspicion. Getting close would be a serious liability. He had to be careful.
Too bad he still felt safer by Neku's side than he had in over a decade.
"I see."
Perhaps now would be an appropriate time. If Neku was honestly on his side, it'd steer the poor boy clear of suspicion from the staff.
"...What do the others say?"
"I can't. He said not to say anything else." Neku replied, sounding frustrated.
And he was. The Voice never steered him wrong, but... It was being more and more active, sometimes pushing him to do things that he wouldn't have on his own. Neku was pretty sure that it was somebody on the out side communicating with him somehow- somebody who was a loud Speaker. It was one of the abilities that was highly prized here. The kids who could do that were watched closely. Maybe it was someone who had already escaped?
"Not quite kid. But I'm out here, and I'd really rather that you didn't have to axe the kid, now that I see how things are." Neku let his eyelashes flutter shut. "Okay. What do you need me to do? I'll do it if it'll get me... Us. Out of here." And there was actually a sigh in his mind, an audible hum of distaste. "I need to talk to him."
Neku looked at Joshua, and was pretty sure that he couldn't control himself well enough to push his ability out from his body. Maybe to the surface of his skin, if he really focused but...
"...Wants to talk to you." He mumbled.
Neku had misunderstood. Maybe on purpose.
Joshua shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know what the other children said about him, what stories they told, what exaggerations and truths and rumours and lies were spread about Project Yeshua that soiled what little pride the boy had left.
He nodded at Neku, albeit distantly. He was used to screaming pain and unwanted voices inside of his head. At least this one had asked for permission. Through Neku, but still. It was something.
He hated this. Neku hated being the go between. Why couldn't he just be Neku? It was eating at him even now, even as that same Voice tried to hum safety and reassurance in his mind. It would all be okay? That was a bit of an overstatement if he'd ever thought one. After this place, he doubted that anyone could ever be okay again. And then, slowly, worriedly:
"Can I touch you?" It wasn't a good thing to be touched, in this place. If you were touched, it often meant that you weren't doing what you were supposed to be doing when you were supposed to be doing it. And that never resulted in good things. Neku waited.
Joshua almost said "no" immediately, but he restrained the outburst. There was no reason for him to say yes. He trusted Neku, but not that much, and he hated being touched more than any of the others could possibly imagine. He looked away, trying to solve the problem that tugged at his mind.
Then he nodded, a very tiny movement that would be missed entirely if Neku wasn't watching like a hawk.
Better to do this now if it meant a possibility of escape anytime soon.
Alright. The kid's expression was hard to read, but he did make a small movement of affirmation. Neku frowned and looked down at his hands before he raised one carefully. He had to focus, bringing whatever it was that flowed so strongly within him to the tips of his fingers, the music that the Voice threaded its way to as close to manifesting as it could be.
Neku slowly reached out to trail his fingers over the other boy's thin wrist, and almost gasped at the odd feeling of connection.
"You there kid? Yo-Hn. Joshua. I'm a friend. You know me, but I don't think you remember." Neku felt like a spectator in his own mind. It was a very odd sensation.
"I don't. But I know I should. I lost my memories about a month after they began the experiments on me. I thought there was something to protect, but that's all I know, and...I can't remember why I did it, now, save for the fact that I wanted to protect what I do."
It was hard. Joshua was safe in his mind, but he communicated with others so rarely that it was difficult to articulate his thoughts, to organize them, even in his own mind.
He was dimly aware of Neku's presence, but was too distracted by this stranger to even have flinched away from Neku's touch.
"...You were going to use my name."
Serving as a conduit, Neku could feel the beginning of something like a tingling sensation from the collar around his neck. That wasn't good. Not good at all. And he also felt the Voice fighting to suppress it.
"Keep protecting It. It needs you now more than ever. I can take care of It in your stead, though. And yes. I know your name. I was with you when you were very small... Neku is there for you. I sent him for you."
And that came as a shock for the boy who didn't know who he was or where he'd come from. If the man who was the Voice knew Joshua... did he know him as well? The Voice also seemed more serious and less lazy than usual. Neku wanted to ask questions, but didn't want to interrupt this... exchange. He hoped that his grip on the other boy's wrist wasn't getting too tight while he fought the slowly escalating pain wracking his body. Neku would hold the connection though. He knew that this was crucial.
No. Joshua could feel Neku's pain, to a surprising extent.
"Then I'll trust him. End of conversation. Thank you, Sanae."
He wasn't sure why he was suddenly so sure of who it was speaking into his mind. He recognized the voice, distantly, and connected the name with it. Little else clicked, no face or surname, but Joshua again recalled that warm and bitter scent of home that he'd taken comfort in so long ago.
And then he ripped his arm away from Neku, eyes narrowing as he pretended that Neku was simply overstepping his boundaries. Really, all he was doing was making the shared connection stop hurting the first friend he'd ever known.
Trust seemed to be a good idea at this point. It should start now.
Sanae? The Voice had a name now. That made Neku very interested. But it was physically painful to think about it for too long. He actually jumped when the connection between the three of them broke. There was a soft sound of pain- or maybe just discomfort, and then Neku stared at Joshua in disbelief.
"Okay. Shit just got real." He stated without thinking. The red-head really didn't know what to make of it, but he was infinitely glad that he had trusted his gut.
Joshua giggled softly, a sound and sensation that was foreign to his own ears, though he didn't show it. He looked away, folding his hands in his lap and visibly recoiling from Neku.
He gave Neku a meaningful look that still accompanied his smile, a gentle warning that everything was okay. Then his smile vanished and he donned a serious and slightly angry expression.
"You can't trick me or control me. My powers are mine."
The flicker of care in his eyes should have made it clear that he did not believe the words he was speaking.
It made sense to him that Joshua would be ever careful; ever vigilant. Neku's first reaction was to try and plead his and the Voice's case, before the boy's expressions and pointed looks registered in his mind. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms.
"I see. I should have known better. I was just... stretching my legs." Damn it. And now somebody somewhere was sure to know that whatever it was he was hiding and pretending not to have was manifesting. Neku was pretty sure that he felt sick. The red-head tried not to show it though.
Joshua shook his head and looked away.
"I have to go soon. I have a ...briefing."
Yes, that was what it was called. Briefing. When the staff looked at other subjects to try and determine their power, their project group, their ability to transmit their powers to others. No need to tell Neku the true name of his consultations. Not yet.
He wasn't ready to answer those questions.
Neku nodded, understanding. Everybody had those, and he was sure that Joshua's were particularly intensive. He looked down at his hands for a moment, wondering at what had really just transpired and what it was going to mean. And underneath all of his anger and apprehensiveness, Neku was wondering if maybe he'd made his first real friend. Something pinged him in the back of his mind, and his head shot up, eyes searching out the opposite end of the hallway. There were whispers coming from there, other Subjects trying to stay hidden while they spied.
"Yeah. Good luck, I guess. Come talk to me again sometime, Josh. It's sort of... Nice." He said slowly, almost lazily. Neku was only half there, his consciousness trying to wander towards the gossips who were now one hell of a liability for him. Maybe not for Joshua, he thought, since he was under such heavy guard most of the time.
"Ugh. Little rats."
Joshua followed Neku's gaze lazily, casting a completely deadpan expression towards the group of teenagers that lingered, watching.
"Rats are smart. They're sheep, Neku."
He stood, looking back to his new ally. He bowed his head in a motion of respect and farewell, and turned.
"...When I'm not confined to my chamber, I'm either sitting here or reading. See you around."
And he left.
