A/N: This is the first time I write something for OQ week and I'm kinda excited. This is written in response to the prompt for day 7, "Late Night Confessions; heart-to-heart conversations due boldness/drunkenness". But I'm afraid I went slightly off topic when it came to the boldness/drunkenness thingy.
I didn't have a lot of time to work on this so I just hope it doesn't suck. Let me know what you think. Enjoy! x
Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time nor its characters.
Forgiveness
She was exhausted. Sleep deprived, after tossing and turning in her bed every single night for the past month, and she blamed herself for that.
Of course, someone else was to blame too. Zelena's plan had worked, she had delivered a blow Regina was having a hard time recovering from. But Regina was the one who pushed Robin away completely. She knew Zelena had hurt him too, she knew he regretted ever leaving Regina, even though he had no idea the woman he thought to be his wife was actually his soulmate's step-sister, hellbent on ruining Regina's happiness. Alas, what was done was done.
Regina had tried to accept what had happened and move on but she couldn't do it. She couldn't look at him every day without also remembering he had slept with another woman mere weeks, or maybe just days, after saying he was in love with her. She couldn't look him in the eyes for she couldn't stand the pain she saw there and also the forgiveness he silently begged her for but that she wasn't ready to give him yet. She couldn't help but flinch involuntarily when they tried to be intimate, mental images of Robin on top of her sister clouding her mind, his hands touching Zelena the way they should've been touching her. And those nights they had tried, had ended up with Regina hiding behind the closed door of her bathroom, water running to cover the sound of her tears and also preventing her from hearing Robin's on the other side.
Regina wanted to forget the whole thing had ever happened and forgive him but she just couldn't. So, one morning, she had walked to the Merry Men's camp in the woods. She and Robin had agreed that, considering the situation they were in, it would be better if he didn't move in with her just yet. They had taken it slow, spending a little more time with each other every day, going out on a few dates and then spending a couple of nights together, but Regina was glad they had decided not to change their living arrangements. It would've been harder that way.
The sun had just risen, the whole camp still asleep, but not Robin, because he knew things with Regina weren't going well and guilt was still eating him alive. She had found him sitting on the log where they used to meet, of course. She had just stood there for a minute, looking at him. He was just as broken as she was. Then, after taking a deep breath and wiping the lonely tear on her cheek, she had made her presence known. He had stood up, smiling in surprise when he'd seen her, but it hadn't lasted more than a few seconds, for he had noticed the pained look on her face and had understood something was wrong.
Regina had let him wrap his arms around her in a warm embrace, had even let herself taste his lips one last time but, eventually, she had pulled away. She had told him she couldn't do it anymore, that she wasn't strong enough. They had both cried and apologized to one another and he had begged her not to do it, not to leave him, that they were meant to be together, but she had made up her mind. So she had kissed him one last time and had looked into his eyes saying she loved him, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
After that day, Regina was very careful and avoided the man completely. She sought comfort in Henry's company and busied herself as much as she could so she wouldn't have time to think of him.
But nothing stopped her from the memories that haunted her at night, making it impossible for her to sleep. She felt like there was a hole in her heart and she was physically in pain. The nights when she managed to fall asleep she'd often wake up after a few hours, sweaty and unable to catch her breath, as if she'd just had the worst nightmare imaginable, when the only thing she saw in her dreams was Robin and total look of despair he had when she had left him. She felt incomplete and, in her heart, she knew she would always be if she wasn't with Robin.
It was the middle of the night when Regina made her way to his camp. She had no fixed plan, no idea what she was going to say to him, but she just needed to see him, so she mustered up all the courage she could and poofed herself into the woods.
Her heart skipped a beat when she opened her eyes again and noticed the camp was completely dark except for a small flickering light inside one tent. His tent.
And of course she knew he was awake for the same reason she was, because they missed each other.
She took a deep breath and entered the tent silently. He was sitting right in front of her, hugging his legs to his chest. The lantern next to him cast a warm light on his features and, when he looked up, she could see his eyes were wet with unshed tears.
Robin looked up at her, yet he didn't move like she expected him to. He just sat there, holding something in his hands, and looked at her like he was waiting for her to disappear before his eyes. How many times had he dreamed of this exact moment, to get to the point he believed it to be just another dream?
So, Regina crawled forward until she was on her knees, right in front of him, and slowly reached out to cup his cheeks with her hands, and when her fingertips grazed his skin, she could feel a jolt of electricity that quickly reached her heart, making her crave more.
"Robin, I'm here…" she whispered.
The man tentatively raised his hands and lay them on top of hers, stroking them with his thumbs. "I thought I would never see you again…"
"I couldn't… I missed you too much" her voice cracked as she whispered those words, her forehead pressed against his.
He let go of her hands, parted his legs slightly so he could pull her into his arms and she snuggled up to him, clutching his shirt. She had missed the smell of forest she'd grown so fond of and smiled when she breathed him in.
"I'm sorry for pushing you away" Regina whispered. Her body was starting to relax in his arms as he ran a hand over her back and held her closer to him with the other.
"I'm sorry for hurting you"
"The only one we need to blame is my sister." She raised her head a little so she could look into his eyes "But I'm not going to let her win. I'm tired of standing in the way of my own happiness, I won't do it anymore. I know it's not going to be easy, it'll probably take time for me to accept that you are going to have a child with her but that baby is a part of you and I'm sure I will love him or her just as much as I love Henry and Roland."
Robin opened his mouth to speak but Regina stopped him before he could say a word "Please, let me say one more thing firs…" he nodded and she lowered her gaze to his chest, where her fingers were drawing lazy patterns.
"I pushed you away because every time I looked at you I couldn't help but imagine you and Zelena…" she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence "But I didn't do it because I felt betrayed. Mostly, it was because every time I saw you, I was reminded of what she did to you, how she hurt you, just to hurt me. I blame myself for what happened and I'm so sorry…"
Robin wiped away some tears that were running down her cheek and bent down to press his lips against hers. When he pulled away, he looked earnestly into her eyes "Regina, none of what happened is your fault. Like you said, this is Zelena's fault. But I never wanted her, even when she was posing as Marian, you were always, constantly on my mind." He looked to his side and grabbed to object he was holding when she had entered the tent. It was the picture of the two of them she kept in her vault, which he had apparently stolen. She smiled at the thought and remembered what he had once told her, 'You knew I was a thief when you met me'.
"If you give me another chance I promise you, I'll never leave you again, no matter what happens." she nodded as tears of happiness started pooling in her eyes. "I love you, Regina. With all my heart and soul."
She kissed him, time and time again. Her heart finally complete once more.
