Author: plumfanatic
Title: Twelve
Sharpened
Rating: G
Spoilers/Warnings: Twelve
Sharp
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Janet Evanovich and this is a feeble attempt to vent only, not make money.
Description: This is immediately following Twelve Sharp. It is the very first thing I ever wrote. I never posted it because it is awful, but as I was cleaning out files tonight I found I couldn't hit delete either. And so, here is what I wanted to happen at the end of the book.
"Things are going to be pretty dull around here with only one Ranger," I said.
Ranger forked an icing rose off the cake and fed it to me. "One Ranger is all you'll ever need." from Twelve Sharp HB pg 310.
Twelve Sharpened
"We need to talk," I countered. "I can't go on like this."
"Babe, as I said before if you have an issue with me, I expect you to tell me about it." He had his blank look on, but I could tell there was apprehension in his voice.
"It's not an issue exactly, more sort of like, well, an admission of things I have tried … well…you know…to run away from…," I stammered trying to get up the nerve.
"Babe?"
"While I was sitting there waiting to see who was coming through my door I was so panicked and scared and confused. I knew it had to be you or Joe and I didn't want it to be either of you. But I had no say in the matter, as usual. I just knew that one of you was going to be shot partly because of me. I am so sorry but I had no choice, I couldn't let Julie be hurt."
"Don't Babe…"
"No Ranger, I have to do this. When you walked in and I saw you, I knew that you were aware of the situation and were sacrificing yourself for us. Then the shots started and my heart stopped and it was a very long time before I could breathe again. I didn't think I wanted to breathe again. So many things occurred to me at that time. I love Morelli," I said and took a really deep breath before adding "and I love you, too."
Ranger just stared at me for a few minutes before asking, "And?" As usual, the master of the one word sentence.
"And," I continued, "I need time to work things out; I can't go on this way forever. When that first shot rang out I wanted to die. It ripped through to my very soul. I never felt as much pain as I did sitting there helpless while he just kept firing over and over. I felt as if each shot tore into me as well. Before the shooting started though everything had already become clear to me. I love you Ranger, I am sure I have for a very long time. It's why I was never able to commit to Joe or even tell him I love him although he has told me often enough how he feels."
"Babe," Ranger began, "I don't want you to…"
"No, Ranger, let me finish." I interrupted before he could make me lose my nerve. "I don't know what is wrong with me, this isn't supposed to happen, loving two men at one time. It's wrong, but there it is. And it's not my fault!!!" I was getting emotional, imagine that. I took a minute to calm myself down. Hmmmm? Maybe we could move to Tibet, I think they still practice polyandry? Whoa, get a grip Steph, even your hormones couldn't handle bothMorelli and Ranger!
"I need to figure out what I want to do with my life and I can't do it while we are playing games."
"I'm not playing a game, Babe. I've told you how I feel."
"No Ranger, you haven't. You give me a lot of twisted double talk. Everything you say to me has multiple meanings. But it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that when Carmen told me she was your wife I felt nauseous, angry, betrayed, jealous and I guess heart-broken. How could I feel all of this and not realize that I had long ago passed the "just friends" stage of our relationship? And yes, Ranger, we do have a relationship even if your lifestyle isn't conducive to them."
I know he wanted to jump in here and probably give me more mumbo jumbo, but I couldn't let him. I needed to start taking some control of my own life instead of riding the merry-go-round.
"Joe and I have already talked. He saw my reaction. He knows how I feel. I imagine he knew even before I did. Our relationship has been rocky at best. We love each other but we really can't live with each other. How can I marry him if we can only stand to be together a few months at a time? It would be a disaster and we would just end up hurting each other. I don't want to cause him any more pain. He deserves better. Neither of us can work things out if I'm still in his bed. He agrees. I will always love Joe, but I can't spend the rest of my life knowing that I can never truly be the woman he wants as his wife. It wouldn't be fair to either of us."
I started to panic now because this was the real moment of truth. Okay, deep breath…what is the worst thing that can happen? Never mind, don't want to go there.
"I love you. You need time to recuperate and a little R&R. I thought maybe we could go somewhere, forget about Trenton, work, family, friends, stalkers, and crazy people who want to take over our lives. Just the two of us. No strings, obligations or commitments attached. Anywhere you like, as long as we're alone…"
"The Batcave Babe?"
My breath caught in my throat. My eyes were wide. Was I hearing him right? Oh my God, is it possible that he really does want me for more than a physical relationship? Shit, the Batcave is forever. Do I want forever with Batman? Does Batman want forever with me?
"Breathe Babe, yes I do, I always have."
"Damn ESP."
"Steph, I have told you more than once and in more ways than one that I love you."
"But you said in your own way."
"Yeah, and my own way is forever. I never have told anyone I loved them. Only you. I married Rachel out of duty and obligation. I have never had a serious long term relationship with any one else. There has never been anyone that found their way into my heart the way you have. I tried hard to resist the feelings. I didn't want them, but you just continued to inch your way to my very soul Babe. When I walked into your apartment what I felt was regret more than fear. I don't want to waste another minute. I want you in my life and that includes the Batcave and forever, if you'll have me."
"What are we waiting for? Are we taking the Batmobile, Batcopter, Batjet, Batboat…?
